Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Hacksaws and Powersaws. (S 2 The 24 HC: 4 PM to 8 PM)

4 PM to 8 PM:

"Swearing on the lives of your children?" Damn Sherry... that's harsh coming from you.

"I'm sorry George" - Tony A.
"Me too." - George
"Awwww, we are too...:sniff tear::" - The HOchies.

Miguel is a wuss. And a very bad actor. But he can kung fu like nobody's business.

OHHHHHHHHH, WRONG!!!!!!!!!! What's up with the free use of power saws and hacksaws this season?!

I don't know why Kim is so stoopid. Even if Megan moves to Santa Barbara which is 'more like 100 miles' out of HelL.A., don't you think the fallout would kill her ass in an even more painful way?

"See what happens when you're jealous of your younger sister getting married and you snoop around?" - HOchie 1.

Head Count: 7

5 PM to 6 PM:

More on George -

"Dead Man Walking." - HOchie 1.
"Nooooo." - Me.
"He's a dead man walking. I'm just telling you like it is." - HOchie 1.

What's up with the CIA having beef with the CTU and vice versa?

Ooooo, Sherry that coral snake. She's smooth at working her way back into the Administration. Oooooo. Don't fall for it President Palmer!

Ew! Tony A. and Michelle! That was the worst exchange ever! Bleck! Can't wait for Michelle to bite the dust because I know Tony's not going for another 3 years. I'm hoping any moment now for Michelle to go...yes...

Head Count: 2. Why'd that Marie have to take out the poor black man? Never trust a blonde.

6 PM to 8 PM:

That damned Marie is a terrorist. First she terrorized HOchie 1 by eating her European chocolate then she shoots her fiance for finding out about her terrorist plots. Perhaps I could be talking about the wrong Marie in the first instance or am I?

"Didn't Jack learn in the first season? First you send in a woman with Alexis to do recon. but she went crazy and stabbed him. Now you sending in Kate to do recon in the Mosque. Tsk Tsk." - HOchie 1.

Oh Jack, always sending a blonde in to die for the greater good. Good job.

What happened to keeping the conversation one-sided, Jack?

The things terrorists will do to get into lockers. Ew.

Head Count: 2.

7 PM to 8 PM:

WhoTF is Murdock? And where's Milo?! But ohhh, his computer is quite stylish. So, who's Milo again?

"I know what happened to Milo..." - HOchie 1.
"He got put into hot milk?!" - Me.
"No!" - HOchie 1.

"I like Milo. And Ovaltine. And Horlicks." - HOchie 1.

That was one stupid mountain lion. A free meal out of Kim and it did nothing. Tch.

Head Count: 0.

Sunday, August 27, 2006

The Bitches are Back Hardcore! (S 2 24 HC 12 PM to 4 PM)

12 PM to 1 PM:

Quotes on this:

"If you leave now..." - Angry MacGuyver.
"...You take away the biggest part of meeee. oooooOOO." - X, singing.

The source key is: "yeah. Volume 8." And we're dead. But at least Paula saved lives in the near future...or so we would like to think.
"CTU uses dying people to get the job done." - HOchie 1.

OMG! Tony's outside!!!!!!!! Outside of CTU! In sunlight! With shades on! Oh, Tony A...put them shades back on 'cause that bruise on the side of your head is not very gOOd lOOking. And thus the hellatious triangle returns in a different form someplace on Tony's head.

Kate Warner, why you gotta be ignorant all your life? It's Counter. Terrorist. Unit. Not Counter Terrorist Agency! Bitch, get it RIGHT.

Sharing intelligence? That's the most unintelligent thing I've heard.

"The bitch is here! The bitch's hair looked better last season." - Me.
"She's been in prison." - HOchie 1.
"Yeah." - Me.
"Wrong and strong. And ugly." - HOchie 1.
"Woah. They don't let you put makeup on in prison?" - Me.

"Awww, poor George." - HOchie 1.
"You and Me and George." - Me.
"Pretty soon it's going to be just you and me." - HOchie 1.

Blondes are often stupid. That Marie sure is. And so is Kim. She's really stupid.

WhoTF is Miguel.

Head Count - 1. And, first indication of no survivors when that chopper went down so the HC could go up to at least 4. Of course, FOX was reporting so there's always faux reporting involved with major asshattery.

1 PM to 2 PM:

OMG, the other Bitch is back!!!!! Two bitches in one show. Oo. Oo.

There's nothing like a few gunshots near the head to make a bitch talk. But Jack's really quite a good shot there. Impressive.

Why Sherry actin' like she don't know what's going down?
And why is Palmer actin' like he believes anything she says?

Kim is all about taking the power back. Season 1 saw her as the kidnapped and Season 2 she's all about being the kidnapper.

Head Count - 0.

2 PM to 3 PM:

Oo! Mike is here! And I see a showdown ensuing soon. Oooooo.

Who I'd Like to See Dead in the Near Future: Marie.

Yeah, you can't just call your son out of the blue and ask him to see you just 'cause you're dying. He's working the banana stand!!!!! Oh, wrong show.

Head Count - 7. OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. That Megan's going to need some serious therapy and Kim deserves whatever she gets for her stoopidness. She's so stoopid it's ridiculous. Truly ridiculous.

3 PM to 4 PM:

I love it how Nina's fluent in every language on the planet especially in the language of bitch.

Ron you fool. You ain't coming out with no story. You coming out dead.

Why the bomb gotta be in San Diego? Why not San Francisco? Isn't the zoo in SD? Think about the animals! Though...that hideous panda Su Lin would be taken out... Hmmmmmm
You know what though? Just take all of HelL.A. out.

Ok, and it's nice to see that the President has time to eat but what about poor Jack? There's no time for him to sleep, eat or pee. Poor Jack. And that is why he deserved that Emmy tonight.
Even frickin' Nina has time to sleep. Tch.

"Evil plotting is hard work." - Marvs.

Head Count - 3.

Friday, August 25, 2006


marks the beginning of the 7 day fest known as Lenny Week. Go out and celebrate!

Thursday, August 24, 2006


Keane Singer Tom Chaplin Goes Into Rehab

Keane Postpones U.S. Tour While Tom Chaplin Goes Into Rehab for Drug and Alcohol Addiction

LONDON Aug 22, 2006 (AP)— A planned U.S. tour by Keane has been postponed while singer Tom Chaplin is being treated for drug and alcohol addiction, the British band said Tuesday.

In a statement posted on the band's Web site, Chaplin, 27, said he was "having to deal with an increasing problem with drink and drugs, and the time has come to get the professional help I need to sort myself out."

The tour had been due to start in Chicago on Sept. 7.

"I feel desperately disappointed to be letting down our fans, but I want to get myself right now so that I can be back on the road for the rest of the year," Chaplin said.

Keane had already canceled several appearances, citing Chaplin's "exhaustion."

Two things -

1. I guess it's a good thing I didn't get tickets to see this show because my ass would be pIssed.

2. I knew that album was exceptionally fantastic for a reason! As we all know, and as sad as it is to say, singers/bands write much better music when on drugs. It was true of Stone Temple Pilots! It's cool when they get help on a personal level but man do my ears suffer. And it's always about my ears.

And the one that is hurt by this the most is Charon...

So here's an update and it's really just horrible but...

PRAGUE, Czech Republic (AP) -- Leading astronomers declared Thursday that Pluto is no longer a planet under historic new guidelines that downsize the solar system from nine planets to eight.
After a tumultuous week of clashing over the essence of the cosmos, the International Astronomical Union stripped Pluto of the planetary status it has held since its discovery in 1930.

The new definition of what is -- and isn't -- a planet fills a centuries-old black hole for scientists who have labored since Copernicus without one.

Pluto is no stranger to controversy. In fact, it's been dogged by disputes ever since its discovery. ( Watch why some think planet size doesn't matter -- 3:39)

Discovered by Clyde Tombaugh of Arizona's Lowell Observatory, Pluto was classified as a planet because scientists initially believed it was the same size as Earth. It remained one because for years, it was the only known object in the Kuiper Belt, an enigmatic zone beyond Neptune that's teeming with comets and other planetary objects.

Pluto got an ego boost in 1978 when it was found to have a moon that was later named Charon. The Hubble turned up two more, which this past June were christened Nix and Hydra.

But in the 1990s, more powerful telescopes revealed numerous bodies similar to Pluto in the neighborhood. New observations also showed that Pluto's orbit was oblong, sending it soaring well above and beyond the main plane of the solar system where Earth and the other seven planets circle the sun.

That prompted some galactic grumbling from astronomers who began openly attacking Pluto's planethood.

At one point, things looked so bad for Pluto, the international union said publicly in 1999 that rumors of Pluto's imminent demise were greatly exaggerated and there were no plans to kick it out of the cosmic club.

A year later, the Hayden Planetarium at New York's American Museum of Natural History was accused of snubbing Pluto by excluding it from a solar system exhibition.

Pluto took another hit after Michael Brown of the California Institute of Technology discovered 2003 UB313, a slightly larger Kuiper Belt object. What's the point, some astronomers wondered, in keeping Pluto as a planet?

Its future brightened earlier this year, when NASA sent the New Horizons spacecraft to Pluto to get a closer look at the ball of rock and ice. The Hubble has managed to glimpse only its most prominent surface features; New Horizons, if all goes well, will arrive in 2015.

Pluto... Charon. Send your ice minions to 'change' the minds of the scientists. Yes...

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Oh Glorious Day - Season 2 "the lazy season" Starts Now and the 24 Head Count Continues

People! I'm done with Season 1! and only 96 episodes left until January. Let's go!

8 AM to 9 AM:

Everyone's hair is really messed up this season. Tony's hellatious thing is gone from his face but it seems to have migrated to the hair on his head.
We understand that Jack has gone through trauma but dude, shave the face. Shave...the face.
Except it should be noted: Hooray for small miracles - Kim's hair actually looks nice.

Paula needs to die for her annoyingness. Go stand by Jack, you will be dead in no time.

I don't know what Mitch *Connors* is talking about but any show that features bacon in the first 7 minutes is good times to me.

And what's up with these blondes in this show? Ok, so maybe it's that one blonde. Woman, there's a black President in power and your ass is racist as all hell. Clearly, you didn't vote to put Palmer into power.

And once again, Kim is keeping shady company but at least this guy is slightly better looking than Rick.

Quotes on this:

"We're back in business! Jack shaved!" - Me.
"Because no one can take him seriously as LumberJack." - HOchie 1.

Head Count - 1.

9 AM to 10 AM:

That new crazy guy Kim was working for looks like MacGuyver. A very angry MacGuyver.

Head Count - 0.

10 AM to 11 AM:

I like seeing poor dead Tony in charge of things.

What's up with Kate Warner and the man hands? As in the great words of the Giant Kitty - "Ponds".

You take the Golden An (message) and you put it in the tan truck (hide under the green SUV) and give it to Tony A.

It's not until someone gets hit with Plutonium that you realize you like them.

Who I'd REALLY Like to See Dead in the Near Future: Eric.

Head Count - 22 with seven missing.

11 AM to 12 PM:

Tony A...the man got hit with plutonium (not to be confused by the now defunct asshat of a "planet" Pluto or its ice minions, the Plutoniums), and while you may not know this, cut Mason some slack, will you?

I don't know why Michelle is so whiny. If Paula dies, Michelle gets to be the only bitch at CTU who has curly hair. And she needs to lay her hands off my man Tony A. His ass is dead soon anyway. What's the point?

Head Count - 5. Ummm, so did he HAVE to kill the dog?! Honestly! Jack, I hate to put you on the list of people I'd like to see dead in the near future but you can hacksaw off people's heads and break their ankles but you just don't mess with dogs!

Quote of the day: "South Park is Rochester." - Mitch *Connors*.

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Crazy Bitches All in a Cage (Season 1: The 24 Head Count Continues)

8 PM to 9 PM:

Mitch *Connors* you were right! The assistant to Palmer is ho'ing around! Patty why you ho'ing around?!

Cat fight!Rrrrrrrrrrrreoooowwwwwww!!!!!

I would still beat Kim's ass down. That speech about her hard 24 hours was lame for the sole reason of "Bring it on". When I say that, it's hardcore. When she says it... :hurl:
And then, she gets beat down by a black girl. I mean, who wouldn't though? That bitch was no joke.

Jack's like his daughter. Either they get beat downs by black girls or Dennis Hopper. We're not sure exactly what accent the DH is trying to pull though... anyone care to fill us in?

Who I'd Like to See Dead in the Near Future - Ryan.

Head Count: 9. ::sniff:: the LDP, everyone puts you guys down.

9 PM to 10 PM:

I'm sorry but that pink suit is not very becoming of Sherry. Don't gun me down, Sherry! I was only kidding!

Oooooooooohhhhh...Palmer's ho'ing around now. With Patty. Ooooooooooooo.

Quotes on this:

"The hellatious thing is growing out of control. It's spreading!" - HOchie 1. Yep, that's what 22 hours of no shaving does to Tony A.

"What was that pansy slap?" - Me. It was just like that time TD5 *porn slapped* Mitch *Connors*. I remember it like it was 12 blogs ago...

"Now we know why Mitch *Connors* likes Sherry. Because Sherry provides a brother with sistas." - HOchie 1.

Head Count: 2

10 PM to 11 PM:

Dude, Palmer's so smart. He deserves to be President!
Sherry ain't got nothing on him...for now?

Honestly, how long do these phones ring for in this show? Sometimes I wonder if they set up voice mail at all.

Who Sherry Would Like to See Dead in the Near Future: Jack

Best Actor award in this episode: Tony, after he found out that Palmer was 'dead'. It reminded me of our Tony when his 'bike' was dead.

Head Count: 2. It's about time that stupid Alexis bit the dust. And I'll up it 2 because that phone got blasted and balcony window got blasted too... 0.5 a piece.

11 PM to 12 AM:

I figured it out! It's German! DH was supposed to have a German accent! Ok, so they actually said it was German, otherwise, I would not have known. Thanks for clearing it up guys.

And umm, where the heck is Milo?

Who Sherry Would Like to See Dead in the Near Future: David Palmer. And if I were Palmer, I wouldn't mess with that crazy bitch.

Head Count: 12. Poor dead Terri. A 2 in 1 is just wrong.

Monday, August 21, 2006

MF'ing Snakes on a MF'ing Lei

The day started with dim sum with X, her family and her friend. It was as always, good times but no muppet sightings were made.

And the day ended with our being at this funky new to the area speciality chocolate restaurant called Max Brenner at Union Square. Anyone who is a chocolate fiend will thoroughly enjoy this place even if it is a little pricey. Go forth and eat chocolate by the Bald Man.

And now the in-between:

Snakes on a Plane was as expected. It's as fun as the people you go with if they're into ridiculous things and know not to take the movie seriously. And all my friends are ridiculous and that's why I love them and that's why we had a blast. Unfortunately only the Giant Kitty and Beetchie could make it with me (Battler, I missed your ass...).

Can I just say...I loved that one snake who was so enthralled at finding the pheromone-induced lei that he spent the entire movie curled up in that lei, playing happily like the kitty was before kitty went all dead-like and eaten.

Memorable quotes & Har Har Moments from SoaP:

"I'm tired of you feeding me this garbage!" Har Har with the red bull can.

"Time is Tissue."

The miracle of pencils that sketch pictures with colour. I wish I had one of those... everybody on that mf-ing plane had one of those mf-ing pencils.

Quote of today:

"SF is such a Sombrero de Culos!!" - Mitch *Connors*.

Currently listening to: "Elevator" by Hot Hot Heat.

Saturday, August 19, 2006

Hell Hath No Fury Like A Woman Misled: Season 1 (4 PM to 8 PM) The 24 Head Count Continues

4 PM to 5 PM -

Kim did something kind of smart but not so much - she wanted to talk to Jack and when she couldn't, she wanted to talk to Nina because she didn't trust Tony. Biatch, don't trust annyone especially that Nina! Now she's calling Rick. Stupid ass.

And it's confirmed that Elizabeth Nash is a stupid bitch but I guess we'd feel like an ass as well if we knew we were having an affair with the senator's would-be assassin.

And did Terri have an affair?! Ooooooooooooooooo.

Potentially Dead in the Near Future - Alexis.

Head Count - 0

5 PM to 6 PM:

The Har Har Moments: When Jack had to switch his bloody shirt out with some agent...why did that guy look really small compared to Jack? A perfect fit? A likely story...

Jack's a sensitive guy.

Disgusting Moments: Kim & Rick and Keith & Father.

Who I'd Like To See Dead in the Future: Teddy and Dan's Brother, Frank.

Head Count - 2

6 PM to 7 PM:

And once again, Kim is stupid.

Poor Nicole... best performance all season.

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW, Tony saved Terri!!!! Too bad her ass is dead soon anyway. Just like Tony. Poor dead two of them.

Head Count - 3

7 PM to 8 PM:

Why did Jack just get toasted by Lou Diamond Phillips?

Quotes on this:

And why is LDP now taking orders from KS? - "Because he remembers his place from 'Young Guns'. No matter what the show, Keifer is always Mass'r." - HOchie 1.

"Who's the prisoner?! Is it Keifer's father?! Is it Donald?!" - Me.
"It's Dennis Hopper." - HOchie 1.
"Oh." - Me.

Head Count - 0

Thursday, August 17, 2006

Random Thoughts Again - Songs

Recent Song Observations -

The Fray's "Over My Head (Cable Car)" sounds like Howard Jones' "No One Is To Blame".

Panic! At The Disco's song "I Write Sins, Not Tragedies" sounds like Peter Schilling's "Major Tom" mixed with Homer Simpson's version of Barry Manilow's "Mandy" (his version was "Mindy").

Currently watching: My Name Is Earl

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Fun Boy Is Not Having Any Fun... (Season 1: 12 PM to 4 PM)

When is Kim going to die? She's useless. I hope Season 6 sees her dead.

Anyway, the 24 Head Count continues -

12 PM to 1 PM:

Quotes on this:

"The Squirts are lost." - Me.
"You know why? That's because Nina gave them bad GPS coordinates." - HOchie 1.

Potential traitors - Nina.
Potential Whoring Around - Maureen & Senator Palmer.

Potentially dead in the near future - Rick

Headcount - 2. Poor dead Chinaman. He had a mortgage to pay and lots of children to feed.

And Fun Boy, definitely not having any fun. But why did I have to lose you twice in 12 years?

Fire it up, buddy. Fire it up.

1 PM to 2 PM:

Head Count - 5. Alan/Kevin. Dead.

2 PM to 3 PM:

Palmer does not want to sell insurance to Tony, that's for sure.

Who I'd Like To See Dead in the Near Future: That bitch who's sleeping with the new sniper. She is truly unnecessary. And stupid. Stupid bitches deserve to be a part of the head count.

Palmer certainly doesn't want to sell insurance to Bauer either. Ooo, Bauer doesn't want to buy any, so it works out.

Quotes on this:

"That's one gOOd lOOking safe house." - Me.
"And there's a pool. Looks pretty comfortable to me. I wish I had a safe house like that." - HOchie 1.

"Senator Palmer is more stupid than I thought." - HOchie 1.

Ahahahahaha, Alberta got shut down.

Head Count - 1. Bob deserved to die due to his sheer stupidity. Mitch *Connors* informs me Tony also deserved what he got due to the same reason but I'll be the judge of that when Season 5 comes around.

3 PM to 4 PM:


Potentially Dead in the Near Future - Ugly Elizabeth Nash, the stupid 'I'm sleeping with the sniper' bitch

Head Count - 5. Why they always gotta put a black man down?!

Squirrels & Planets

Squirrel Knocks Out Power to 5,000

KOKOMO, Ind. (AP) -- A wayward squirrel invaded a power substation and left more than 5,000 homes and businesses without electricity.

Duke Energy restored the service from the South Main Street substation near Wildcat Creek after about an hour Sunday night.

"We lost the squirrel and 5,039 customers for the space of an hour," Duke spokesman Rob Norris said.

The outage included much of the city's central neighborhoods west of U.S. 31.

So here's the thing, squirrels have been tearing up the place it seems in the past week or so.

There's this story (and by the way, I'm very disturbed by the quote 'we lost the squirrel' - wtf happened to it?! They murdered the poor little bastard, didn't they?! Awww, poor boo boo bitch) and then there's the story of the squirrel who terrorized peeps in Florida. He bit and scratched his way into stardom...uh, infamy. And then he died. He was truly a bitch. But as you all know, squirrels are plague carriers. But since these squirrels were doing a service to the world by hatin' on Floridians and people from Indiana, then kudos to them! Har Har.

And now for a sad note...

The Planet Pluto is under scrutiny by scientists who are considering giving it the axe. They think that Pluto may not be a planet at all. 8 planets in the solar system? That's madness.
If Pluto makes the cut then something like 33 'planets' will make it as well and we'll have one happy solar system - full of dead rocks. Awesome.

What's the bottom-line though? ::tear:: Poor Pluto...

Saturday, August 12, 2006

Season 1: 8 AM to 12 PM

The 24 Head Count Continues:

8 AM to 9 AM - HOchie 1 and or 2 have dubbed this "The Hellatious Episode".

Quotes on this:

"Lauren, don't get too close! Think about the head count!!!" - Me.

"Lauren had a hellatious night and she's about to have a hellatious day. Just like Mitch *Connors* who's having a hellatious day at Cari-Fest." - HOchie 1.

"You should blog about Tony's hellatious triangle." - HOchie 1.
"Don't make fun of poor dead Tony's hellatious...chin...thing!" - Me.

Possibly dead in the near future - Jamie, Lauren & Kyle.

Head Count - 0.

9 AM to 10 AM

Quotes on this:

"You know this show is all about putting minorities in power, right?" - HOchie 1.

"I don't like this here sound effect... It's giving me anxiety." - HOchie 1, on the 24 clock countdown.

Possibly dead in the near future - Eli's cellphone & Eli, now that I think about it..., Mr. Cofell's limo driver Mark. Poor Mark...

Who I would like to see dead in the near future - Alberta Greene

Head Count - 1. Die Bitch, Die!

10 AM to 11 AM

Possibly dead in the near future - Ted Cofell, from a heart attack.

Who HOchie 1 would like to see dead in the near future - Carl

Quotes on this:

"You know who I never want to meet? Jack Bauer. Because everyone around him dies." - HOchie 1

"Carl should die just on the fact that he is ugly." - HOchie 1

Head Count - 2.

11 AM - 12 PM

Quotes on this:

"Everyone in this show needs life insurance." - Me
"Palmer will give it to them." - HOchie 1
"But isn't Progressive a Car Insurance company?" - Me
"Yeah but they have life insurance too." - HOchie 1

The Har Har Moment - Jack under the blanket

Head Count - 4 (?) but definitely 3.

Episodes left to watch - 108.


The Internet Bringing Back the Dead (?), Cave People and Zombies, oh my!

This HOchie broke out of work early to do a Horror movie Double-Header Friday with good friends Beetchie and the Giant Kitty. Yes, Mitch *Connors*, Giant Kitty is SF.

We started out with Pulse. I knew this movie was going to be crap but being that I have a heterosexual girl crush on Suga'Face #1, Kristen Bell of Veronica Mars fame, I felt the need to go support her. And she truly is a Suga'Face but I'm not used to seeing her be so dense... so smart on VM. Not so much in this movie... Blondes. Tch.

Not much to say about that movie other than there were some freakish moments but we're still kind of confused as to exactly what went on there. I might need to go watch the original Japanese movie to try to figure it out but as we all know, those Japanese are often hella confusing as is, so I expect no real clarity.

With 50 minutes to kill between the end of that movie and the beginning of The Descent, we decided that a bathroom break was in order and whatever else we could find to do.

So who knew that the AMC 25 had a terrace? But let me tell you people now, keep away from that damned terrace! It's really frickin' high up there. Beetchie was holding on for dear life but more importantly, we blame the terrace for making us get the only available seats located in the second row from the front. Ugh, eye hurt! And for those of you following, so we had 50 minutes and we still managed to get crappy seats but if you had to backpack it through that theatre, as Beetchie pointed out, you'd be late too!

With a sleepy giant kitty on my right, a The Descent veteran on my left, and a theatre full of crazy MFs, we settled down and prepped for gore-filled fun.

Some girls screaming next to us scared Beetchie. What I don't understand is this: haven't they ever watched horror movies before? Every 'scary' moment that came, I certainly knew was coming. The movie followed a simple horror formula. It was still cool though.

We then headed to Dave & Busters (Beetchie, I didn't know you had stock in that place. You do, don't you, Buster? - har har) for some Zombie killing action. My accuracy was 67% the first time and incredibly less the second. Uh, my rings hurt my shooting hand. I know, I'm supposed to aim for the head but I swear, that thing was not registering properly. Beetchie agrees with me. Our "House of the Dead 4" ranks - C & D after level 1. Our rank after level 2: unknown. We didn't make it that far. Zombies ate our brains! I hate me some zombies... Beetchie and I will go back and rock that another day with more money and more time. Oh yes. Oh yes.

WTF moment of the night:

This girl was on her idiot man's shoulders and I thought it was a kid. And she was reaching out to touch Beetchie's hair but then I realized that it wasn't a kid, it was a grown ass girl being a bitch because she thought it funny to mess with people on the street. Why the hell was that bitch messing with my friend? Don't touch her hair! I hate assholes. I was thinking I should trip him which would result in her falling off his shoulders and breaking her stupid face but I also thought, two giant black guys and one ghetto bitch against little me would probably land me in the hospital. Karma will get them and I'll be out of the hospital.

Quotes of the day:

"Oh HEEELLLLSSS NO. No Bitch, you betta' run yo' ass outta there! If it was a Chinese girl in that situation, you best believe her ass is gone. Why do you think there's so many of us in the world? We know how to act." - Beetchie, on Pulse.

"Oh no...poor Christina Milian. ::sad face:: She's too cute to die." - Franz.


"That Juno reminds me of Patty. It's Patty! And she's...hardcore. Don't mess with Patty! Yay, Patty! Oh, Patty's kind of scaring me." - Franz

"You killed her child, that ugly face that only an ugly mother can love! Oooooooo..." - Me.

"You know Franz, just because you can't keep your husband doesn't mean you have to take it out on me." - Me, on Franz leading us to salvation out of the cave in The Descent.

Currently listening to: "Is It Any Wonder?" by Keane. Or what HOchie 1 and I like to call it,

"Give me one last chance and you'll be satisfied.
Give me two chances and you won't be denied.
Well my heart is where it's always been,
My head is somewhere in between,
Give me one more chance,
Let me be your lover tonight.

Is it any wonder...? or was it, you're the real thing?
Even better than the real thing?"

Despite my just poking a little fun at them, while I'm on the subject of Keane, I must say I am incredibly impressed by their second album "Under the Iron Sea". It is an amazing piece of work. I'm actually saddened that I will not see them at the Hammerstein on September 13th. ::sniff:: I'll catch my crazy pianist 'hardcore rocker', Tim Rice-Oxley next time.

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

It's the Little Things...

Like the quote of the day that makes me laugh hysterically. I love you guys...

Too bad you're all asshats!!!!!!!

In true HOchie fashion, I cannot leave a compliment without bashing your dreams with an insult of some sort.

Or sending you photos of women who do not have the word 'wax' in their vocabulary and their friends who have the phrase 'i'm a bitch but your business makes me look better' in theirs.

You love us anyway! And more so for traumatizing you all!

Quote of the day:

"Yuh aint see X looking all exotic, like a sun rising from the depths of Bombay" - Mitch Connors on X in a sari.

Monday, August 07, 2006

Mitch *Connors*, Connoisseur of Old Ladies

It has come to our attention that Mitch *Connors* has Old Ladies crushing on him hardcore.

Old Ladies

that pick him out of crowds in Rochester, not because he's the only black kid in a sea of white...

And Old Ladies that cook him extravagant dinners of boiled potatoes and some kind of beef (we will never identify because that shit is in the trash where it belongs. As we all know, them Old Ladies can poison your ass and molest you when you're out cold), not because they might be slightly unstable upper lip only lipstick wearing mfs...

It's 'cause when you're the MC, you know how to handle your buisness and rock it.

Mitch *Connors*:

Bringing The Sexy Back.

Sunday, August 06, 2006

The 24 Head Count

My plan for the next five months is to watch every episode of 24 before season 6's premiere in January.
With about 5 people on my ass to watch this show, I finally caved and decided to give into the madness.
I think I may have screwed myself because in order to be prepared for January, I am required to watch 120 episodes in the series thus far.
I broke it down and figured 8 episodes a week or 32 a month will help me reach my goal.
Hardcore, yes.

HOchie 1 and I have watched 12 AM through 7 AM (well actually HOchie 1 watched 4 - 7 and then cheated and read recaps of the rest of the day - damn that HOchie!)

So far it's not bad. I've figured out everything right before it happens so nothing has come as a major surprise. It's still entertaining though.

That and:

I do feel sorry for poor dead Tony every time I see him. Though Mitch *Connors* informs he deserved to die because he was stupid and should have seen it coming. I have yet to have any real reason to love or hate him but right now he's classified under "annoying" because he keeps watching Jack like a hawk... though he DID do a smart thing last episode and I can respect that.

Oh, sorry to all who read this and actually wanted to watch this show and I just ruined it for you.

Anyway, I'm blogging about this because I've decided I need to do a running 24 head count of everyone who gets offed per hour.

The head count will be more specific and broken down in the future but for now -

I've got the count at about 424 by the end of 7 AM. That's a very rough estimate...

Thought for the day: Jamie, whhyyy?!!! Stupid Biatch! I hate you!

Friday, August 04, 2006

"Well I Refuse To Let You Go"

It's been 3 years since I've had what many call an unhealthy obsession with MUSE.

There was the time I was assed out of seeing them at Webster Hall. I was incredibly pissed. I cursed.

Then there was the time I seriously considered going to London for 3 days, the week of Christmas in 2004 to catch them at Earls Court. I never made it and cursed some more.

And then, I passed up getting tickets to Audioslave due to potential conflict with MUSE's concerts dates. They ended up sucking it up by doing a campus invasion tour and the only NY campus they performed at was Albany. And hell, I'd certainly go to London for 3 days but there's no way in hell I'd go to Albany for a day. No one in their right mind would do that crap.
I cursed MTV and stupid Americans for not supporting them enough to give them a chance to play bigger venues than crappy campuses. They're big everywhere else but here.

Result: Completely missed the Absolution Tour. And as expected, a lot of !@?*$?!@!-ing went down on my part.

18 months later, the first U.K. single was released from the new album Black Holes and Revelations and I was mortified.

"What the hell is this?! Noooo, that's not Matt's vocals! Well, they kind of are...Oh god, this is so embarrassing... But hey, it's...Kind of good, actually. Unlike them but I can deal with this. It's totally a stripper song but I do love me some strippers (don't forget this was BEFORE the Pussycat Lounge)."
Being a MUSE elitist, I fell in love with "Supermassive Blackhole" but please, don't go watch the video. They're Brits. You have to excuse their 'art'.

A week later came the U.S. single release. I was not fond then and I'm not overly fond now. The video also doesn't help. Please don't go watch the video. They're Brits. You have to excuse their 'art' and sometimes, their sense of humour. Though, fighting off robots in a western setting by the awesome power of B H & R's reflective properties is somewhat funny. It's reminiscent of Mentos, the fresh maker. Or Footos. Either one.

Anyway, B H & R came out. I listened. I loved. Not as much as say, Origin of Symmetry but after last night, I've an appreciation for every goddamned song off that goddamned album. Even that "Knights of Cydonia" but like I said, I'm still not overly fond now. I will only listen to it in a concert setting because only then is it amazing to me.

That's right. I was actually trying to make a point here.

The 3rd day of August has finally ushered some sense of awesome into this HOchie's life after a long 7 month spell of bad luck, more downs than ups and a series of mishaps.

Thank you, MUSE.

Those who came with me:

1. Beetchie, who I had to drag kicking and screaming. Haha, just kidding. Don't kill me. And no, I don't hate you long time. I heart you, "Hardcore", as you would say.
2. No. 8, who I know was secretly trying to ruin things for me somehow.
3. Franz, the skeptic but who actually wanted to come and no I don't owe him anything in return. You hear me, Franz?! NOTHING!!!!

We waited in line forever amidst a wonderful frickin' heat wave NY had to go through for 3 days with temperatures reaching near 100. Finally we were ushered into the Hammerstein ballroom and I had to deal with two boys trying to oust me from my spot on the floor, some crazy fan girls who I made 'friends' with for the night to my benefit and theirs and an anorexic girl with her anorexic boyfriend who managed to push me aside even though I had the elbows out. I now know that being annorexic works to your advantage at a concert as it's so easy to slip between a crack.
What didn't work out was the B.O. she was spewing. I don't know what is up with people smelling before a concert but as discussed in the MSI blog, it's just plain wrong. And oh! oh! I think I saw that MSI B.O. kid at MUSE but he wasn't ranking this time. Good for you, kid. Good for you.
What also didn't work out for me, didn't work out for her. She must have been very conscious of herself and perhaps my evil glances and words to Beetchie didn't help the situation because she and her bf left much to my delight and I grabbed my chance to get in there, much to the dismay, bitchin' and complain' of the two guys who I had to fight before.

Result: I lost Franz, Beetchie and No. 8 who had been standing behind me. It was okay though because I could still look over and see Franz during the show.
Beetchie informs me there was a semi-pit which she tried to tear up but no one was really moshing so she had to jump in one place but she had fun.
And I've no clue where No. 8 got to during the whole thing but she was okay as well.

After an interesting set by the opening act The Cloud Room, which was not well received by anyone in that crowd but honestly, I didn't find them that horrible (but let's keep that dirty little secret to ourselves, shall we?). Wait, you know what? I'm going to give a tiny blurb to this band because they sounded good minus the indistinguishable vocals on lead and I rather enjoyed the drum work even though it almost killed my heart. They were from Crooklyn and I think they tried to diss Queens which always gives one creds. So yeah, for those of you who care, which I suspect is no one, here's their little setlist minus the 2 songs because I just don't know what they were:

Sunlight Song (possibly the Reprise)
Hey Now Now
The Hunger
*new song

Alright, I'm done with them. Ok, not quite. The guitarist was cool. And they sadly had to clean up their own mess after their set. Ah, the life of an unknown opening act... Ok, now I'm done.

And after a long 40 minute set up by the roadies, with much oohs and aahs by all who saw the veil come off the gigantic drumkit Dom was supposed to rock on, my band finally took the stage.

The lights darkened and the techno started - Dom fiddling with equipment revealed the first track. Then in came Chris with that bass... Followed by Matt's vocals:

You corrupt
Bring corruption to all that you touch
You behold
And beholden for all that you've done
And spell
Cast a spell
Cast a spell on the country you run
And risk
You will risk
You will risk all their lives and their souls

And burn
You will burn
You will burn in hell, yeah you'll burn in hell
You'll burn in hell
Yeah you'll burn in hell
For your sins

And our freedom's consuming itself
What we've become
It's contrary to what we want

Take a bow"

And when Matt took a bow, it was then it hit me - I'm finally here and this is going to be amazing...

Depending on who you love and if you're given that opportunity, you need to position yourself accordingly:

Left for Matt.
Center for Dominic.
Right for Chris.

I'm a lefty myself because as we all know, I'm all about my future husband. Luckily for me, and after much screaming at Franz to get in the goddamned line and to stop screwing with me by telling me he'll wait for me on the side since I was running a few minutes late, I made it in with Matt directly in front of me save the one body in my way. But she didn't count as she was short and I could easily look over her shoulder.

WARNING - unnecessary gushing ahead (and DISCLAIMER - I'm only kidding about Brits and their bad teeth, the assback and sense of humour because I have to cover my ass if say, Matt Bellamy for whatever reason were to read this one day or some Brit or European were to read this):

I could see his face, every sweet little smile, his very blue eyes, that scary crease he gets on his brow when he sings, his bad Brit teeth that I've come to terms with and that mole he's got on his cheek. And I was trying to figure out if he has an assback...I couldn't quite make it out but he may have had a little ass going there in those red jeans. The assback has yet to be confirmed.

The stage set up itself was for a big arena which I think would be stellar for their more epic songs like "Ruled by Secrecy" and "Apocalypse Please" and others which they performed that night but being right in front in that small venue was still hella awesome. They worked with what they had and did it nicely.

They played all the songs I thought they would save one which I will bitch about later but everything was incredibly performed and phenomenal. Matt played that piano with such class. I was wowed by the guitar changes that went on after every song and of course, just how skilled he is with that instrument. That guitar with distortion pad will be mine someday... And his voice...is so beautiful and holds up so well. I had to zone everything else out when he hit that falsetto. Dom rocked that kit like nobody's buisness and I couldn't really see Chris (mostly due to the fact that my eyes were glued to Matt) but I could hear his brilliance. The only bad thing was that I couldn't see Chris' skills on "Hysteria". Curses!

It was really cute how Matt and Dom were so proud of themselves in managing to work the crowd into a frenzy during "New Born". They were all smiles at how great the response from the crowd was for that.

There were a couple of nice surprises - they did one instrumental piece I never expected, and one that is new and will now desperately try to find. Also a surprise, "Soldier's Poem" which I welcomed with an "awwwww".

And even the songs I am not very in love with, namely "Invincible" and that blasted "Knights of Cydonia" sounded so much more fantastic live because they were done with such unrivaled energy with massive guitar solos coupled with grandiose stances involving Matt in the center of the stage with head held high and the 'we're number 1' finger in the air (not pictured here because damn that Bells, he's too frickin' quick for me - I got him when he took his hand down), that I would love to see them performed again.

The 1 hour and 20 minute long setlist:

Take A Bow
Supermassive Black Hole
Butterflies and Hurricanes
Forced In
Soldier's Poem
Feeling Good
*instrumental piece unknown
Plug In Baby
New Born
Stockholm Syndrome


Map of the Problematique
Time Is Running Out
Knights of Cydonia

The time flew by so fast due to song after song of fast paced greatness, save the cooling down "let's give my vocals and our crazy playing a rest for two seconds by playing "Forced In" and "Soldier's Poem" moment. Even their rest between the encore was fast and I thought to myself, "Wow, they even pee fast". I was hoping for a longer show but was generally happy with this setlist. Of course, I was screaming when they played "Map of the Problematique" because it has to be, other than "Hoodoo", my favourite song from this album and one of their best songs ever.

So 3 years later, I am now partially blinded by an impressive laser light show NOT put on by The Cheat, partially deafened by speakers so huge had one fallen on me I'd be dead along with 20 people in my immediate space and one supermassive headache brought on by 3 1/2 hours of sleep due to too much excitement and pain all wrapped up in one - I finally saw the greatest band in the world. Yes, HOchie 1. I know, that title should be reserved for U2 but indulge me this moment.

Highlights of the show (ie the already awesome songs made even more awesome during a live show):

New Born
Stockholm Syndrome
Feeling Good - because when Matt laid that megaphone down on the piano, we all knew what was song was coming up. The megaphone is legendary! And so is how he got rid of it. Behind the back and off to the side ::TOSS::!!!!!!

WTF moments of the evening:

6. "Who the hell are these bitches on stage trying to introduce MUSE? MTV College Radio who what now?...huh?! WTF!!! Get the fuck off stage!!!!!!"

5. Why did Chris do the rocker's growl on "Supermassive Black Hole"? Matt? WTF?!!!!

4. WTF was that little gremlin doing next to Dom's drumkit? It looked like he was doing back up keyboard work but I'm not quite sure...

3. WTF was up with Matt's hair? It's called fans, people.

2. Matt to Dom - "Stop. Stop. STOP! Oh.. ::sheepish confused look:::" at the beginning of a song when he was having technical difficulties with his guitar but it started working soon after Dom started the song. The WTF moment came from Dom when he was looking at Matt with the WTF face. Hahahaha.

1. And the biggest WTF moment of the night - No "Muscle Museum"??!! I waited 3 years to see them perform one of their most popular, if not most popular song that they always play, ALWAYS - every time I've seen footage of them and the best live song as far as I'm concerned and they didn't do it!!!!!! WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes, I am fully aware of what the ticket has printed in caps there but fuck it! I took pictures of them anyway!! "NO CAMERAS" my ass!!! Muwahahahahahaha!!! And now all of you get to gaze upon him too...Double the muwahahahaha! Don't you all feel lucky?

No, not a prison uniform.

Poor Megaphone...

Dominic!!!!!!!!! I can't see your hilarious self behind that drumkit. I love you anyway.

I anxiously await the time when I see them again. But next time I expect a longer set with my "Muscle Museum" tossed in, "Citizens Erased" and "Space Dementia".

And that comes, if all goes well, November 21st at Wembley Arena in London - Who's in???!!!!

Currently listening to: "The Queen and I" by Gym Class Heroes. Don't ask. I saw the video and it's kind of catchy. Don't judge me!!!!!
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