Friday, June 22, 2007

Two Dead Animals

Angry Squirrel Finished Off by Crutch

BERLIN (AP) -- An unusually aggressive squirrel attacked three people in a German town before its last victim finished it off with a crutch, police said Wednesday.

The rodent jumped through a living-room window in Passau, on the Austrian border, on Tuesday and bit its first victim. With the squirrel hanging on by its teeth, the woman ran out into the street, where she managed to shake the animal off.

The squirrel then bit a builder before fleeing into a nearby garden, where it bit a 72-year-old man who eventually killed it with his crutch, police said.

The dead animal was to be tested for rabies.

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And now for this story, which is not as traumatic to the HOchies but perhaps plenty to others -

Turtle causes Parkway wreck, then dies


Wednesday, June 20th 2007, 9:38 AM

UPPER TOWNSHIP, N.J. - Why did the turtle cross the road?

We'll never know, but it sure caused one heck of an accident.

A woman who swerved to avoid hitting the amphibian as it crawled across the northbound lanes of the Garden State Parkway Tuesday afternoon lost control of her car, crashed through a guardrail and tumbled down an embankment before the car flipped over onto its roof.

Saranne Goldinger, 65, of Cape May, was wearing a seat belt and was not critically injured, State Police said. Her car, however, was heavily damaged.

The turtle fared even worse. A vehicle that had been driving behind Goldinger flattened the critter.

"All of that for nothing," Trooper Scott Farkas told The Press of Atlantic City for Wednesday's newspapers.


  1. Not as traumatic? I find myself rather horrified that the demise of a mangy, Nazi, plague-carrying, rabid tree rat, of which there is no great shortage, earns more sad emoticons from the hochies than the tragic death of a poor turtle whose only crime against humans was expecting a little common courtesy from them, that he might be allowed to cross the road without getting run over so he could eat mosquitoes and swim for a bit in a nearby pond. Meanwhile, New Jersey reaffirms its identity as New York's human trash pile; god-forbid they drive the speed limit or, gasp, even use the brake pedal once in awhile to let the turtle pass. Though it must have been pretty shocking, you know, from a mile away when the turtle bolted out into the road at the breakneck speed of a foot per hour. Still, I doubt the Dukes of Hazzard school of driving was the best bet for handling the situation.

    - j

  2. Unless that turtle was crossing to eat some mansquitos, then I feel really, really horrid for posting this.


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