I realize I didn't post anything that I wanted on my list but I probably should very soon, not that i think you asshats will get me anything but I might as well.
In any event... OMG, that was the strangest, most annoying commercial I've ever seen! Stupip Heinekein advert.! I got distracted for a second and had to immediately post that bit of nonsense.
As I was saying to him, as I downed another carling...
H1 sent this to me today and it is, the most fantastic piece of machinery I've ever seen save the part I don't actually get to eat the bacon:
"WHAT: An alarm clock that wakes you up with the smell and sizzle of cooking bacon.
WHY: No one likes to wake up, especially by an alarm. This clock gently wakes you up with the mouthwatering aroma of bacon, just like waking up on a Sunday morning to the smell of Mom cooking breakfast. Unless you're Jewish.
HOW: A frozen strip of bacon is placed in Wake n' Bacon the night before. Because there is a 10 minute cooking time, the clock is set to go off 10 minutes before the desired waking time. Once the alarm goes off, the clock it sends a signal to a small speaker to generate the alarm sound. We hacked the clock so that the signal is re-routed by a microchip that in responds by sending a signal to a relay that throws the switch to power two halogen lamps that slow-cook the bacon in about 10 minutes."
I've thought this through, and I don't like the idea of a frozen strip of bacon going to waste because, it's frozen and will defrost overnight leading to potentially bad times by the time it's cooked.
I do like bacon but I don't like food poisoning.
H1 says that I'm not to eat it but then I find that there's a second crime against me by having the smell of greatness in my room. The second issue is that, that'll make me want bacon but I wake really early for work and never have time to make breakfast nor am I willing to spend what little I have on a bacon sandwich every morning.
Maybe this isn't something I want for Christmas after all but I still love its cute, little piggy nose.