Thursday, November 29, 2007


For those of you who think Tilapia tastes good, to you I say, "sure, if you like the taste of dirt."

That damned dirt fish is all over the damned place these days.

Sometimes dirt hurts.

Monday, November 26, 2007

Happy Birthday Wishes To A Monkey and a Bitch

Heh Heh.

Happy Birthday, Bughie J.!!!! I hope you had great joy today and that you got a wii. Unfortunately, Amazon did not smile upon me and grant me the purchase of one at $79.00. I was so hoping to get that for you. =,(

I trust Mr. Wimplebee curled upon your head for your special day.

Happy Birthday, TD5!!!!

We missed you terribly this Thanksgiving and we miss you for your birthday. It's been five years since you've not spent it with us and well, I didn't get to toss your present at you. I guess I'll have to toss it at you with your Christmas things.

We will call you soon.

Much love to you both!

- H1 Or 2

Sunday, November 25, 2007

Obsession(s) for Weeks: 10/16 - 11/11

Fios TV:

And the package that comes with it!

Dexter on Sundays, yes!!!

The PS3

oooo, shiny...

And Beetchie's Obsession:

With "Beautiful Katamari"

Currently listening to: "Magick" by Klaxons.

Welcome To Christmas!

Christmas mode has begun (kind of) and thus, the blog layout shall represent our favourite time of year. The one that involves presents, Kyle. Presents.

This year we're going for snowflakes or rather, Or 2 is going for the snowflake look because H1 hates her some snowbughs like nobodies' buisness.

No one snowflake looks alike, but never you mind mine does not look like a snowflake at all.
If you cannot enjoy my snowflake, then please enjoy my slightly yellow snow snowman with snowy hat that looks suspiciously like a Christmas tree.

Currently listening to: "Run, Pig, Run" by Queens of the Stone Age.

Blog Layout Memories - Thanksgiving 2007

Gobblor has released us of our 'contract' and has moved on to terrorize...uh, I mean avenge turkeys in another part of the world.

For memories of the good times, here are sample shots of the blog layout of Thanksgiving 2007, Gobblor included:

Thursday, November 22, 2007

Thanksgiving Week At The HOchieS

Thanksgiving Week has ended and the HOchieS are not sure how the time went by so quickly.
This week, we were visited by some of the HOchie favourites - Pandy, Jills, Beetchie and X.
The other favourites were unable to come this year and while TD5 may be excused, MC is not and therefore he is DTU.

Good laughs, cold dim sum, too much coca cola that took up valuable dim sum space, tales of a crazy Jewish Subway Lady and a Bacon Preaching Prophet, beer of the apple and raspberry variety, attempted killings-whiny-snoring Pumpkin and Jazzie cat moments, serial killer Dexter anxiety times, paprikash with baby halushkas, calls from TD5 at 6.26 AM and of course, Thanksgiving feast of meats and/or carbs were shared.

What did not go down was The Oxtails' first gig. Due to some technical difficulties involving a microphone, the lead singer was not being judged (by a computer) on her singing.
Money was spent on clothing without the band manager's consent.
It was a debacle.

All in all we had fun, hectic times.

Thanks for the goo'd times, Frenemies.

Quotes of the Week:

X: I have a line of fat down my leg and then it ends in this dimple! It's nasty!
(and later): Why you feeling up my leg?!
Or 2: Oh, I wasn't really. My hand got too close and sank into your dimple.
X: ::slaps Or 2::

Pandy: A Toast To Us!

Pandy: I'm sorry about the dumplings. I ate them all. I don't know what happened.
H1: Let me guess, you also get stupid over dumplings?

Beetchie: I have issues with Pandy. He ate all the dumplings!
Or 2: Uhhh...he took food out of your mouth?
Beetchie: Yeah! What's up with that? First the paprikash then the turkey soup? You can tell him I'm not happy with him. Quote me.

Or 2 (during Rock Band): Do you want to restart the song?
X: Yeah. Let's do that...
PS3/Rock Band message: if you quit now, you will lose 647 fans. Do you wish to continue?
X: ::stunned silence:: nooo, we can't lose our fans!!!!

Memorable Moment of the Week:

Beetchie crashing a 1 year old birthday party. Well done, Beetchie. Well done.

Saturday, November 17, 2007

Yeah, Beetchie...We Are SO There


Who's in?!

Monday, November 12, 2007

MC's F-art

Thanksgiving is a little more than a week away.

Anticipating that his antics would be greatly missed, MC was kind enough to grace us with MC-isms that will help tie us over this year.

Although the display of his work on this blog may be completely unauthorized, we don't care too much about what he thinks but we were thoughtful enough to examine his work as he asked.

First, his "Circle of Me":

Which to me, looks more like a circle of deer, in a paintball contest, in a gddh fest while peeing on a...what is that? a fire hydrant?

Second, his "A Very Valuable Lesson That I Have Learnt In Life":

Which to H1, looks like love is a one way street that goes over the Brooklyn Bridge.

MC, you asked us to "be kind" but The HOchies only grade truthfully.

Sometimes the truth can be harsh.

The HOchieS can be kind sometimes, and sometimes not so much.

Your Grade:


Memorable moments and quotes of the evening:

Before viewing your work carefully,

H1: he gets an F--

After viewing your work carefully,

H1: there anything lower than an "F--"?

Lou: Yeah, a "Z".

Saturday, November 10, 2007

An Observation, Confessions and A Retraction

It's a mostly stupid observation really but a few years ago, I realised that video games have warped our little minds some.
For most genres that I've played, if there's a major muck up then your character 'dies' until you re-load your data.
After years of playing games such as these, the declarations of "I'm going to die!" or "I died!" have been so ingrained in my brain that their use have filtered into other genres as well.
For instance, I'm playing "Tetris" - is it really that I die when the blocks get stacked too high? No, really it's that I've lost or failed but "died"? A little extreme, if I do say so.
This is not something that I've noticed of myself, either. I think we've a world of gamers out there who proclaim the same. Beetchie can attest to this when the other night, she was running out of time to roll up a katamari to the allotted size and proclaimed, "I'm going to die!!!!!". The real result was that the planet Mars did not get built and the King of Cosmos didn't kill her, literally. He may have killed her spirit by calling her a "L O S E R" but otherwise, her character was breathing.

In an unrelated matter, this week a friend (or so she says!) from primary school contacted me. Now, I was about 7 or so when I knew her. And to be honest, I don't remember her that well, being that my brain is shot from work and age. Hell, I can't even remember what I ate last week Monday (notice I've a 2 week memory span)!

I do recall her somewhat though and worse, H1 says we used to be best friends. I'm not even sure it's the same person that I'm thinking of but it just hit me, that if it is, yeah, we were quite close. Sorry for being a flake childhood friend!!!! But I remember now!

Anyway, apparently she remembered me "BECAUSE you liked rock and you were the kid who wore a denim jacket with rock patches on it".

But you people see that, right?

First, I used to like rock since I was really young - the Iron Maiden and such. Which is great but that leaves me questioning what the ass happened when I went through my 3 month Sir-Mix-A-Lot phase. I was lost for a while, apparently but meh, I'm not even sure that even happened either because everyone is welcome to go through my CD collection to show that I don't have that in it. Thank you, very much, H1.

Second, OMG, I used to wear denim?! With patches on it?!

It's all a blatant lie!


That's a gross fabrication if I ever did see it.

Now let me go burn the picture that says otherwise.

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

Obsessions...Of A Beetchie?

This may have happened before The HoChieS began a blog, or maybe it just never showed up on here because we refused to talk about it in great detail. However, I think we're at that point in our lives now, where we just have to bring some truths to light. Really and truly, Beetchie already knows about our dark tale, and if she knows then there's only so much more persecution that can come our way.

It all began one night with a lack of food and a new videogame.

As we all know, when life throws you bread, ketchup, cheese, vienna sausages (and if you're 'lucky' like we were that night) and/or pepperoni and a toaster oven, you make a Ghetto Pizza.

This we did and quite happily.

It was a Saturday, with 1 or 2 HOchies breaking in a brand new game.

That game, was Katamari Damacy.

It was a fun game. There were pretty colours, a little green Prince, cats, mice, paperclips, birds, crabs, cars, people and The King of Cosmos.

There was also lots of rolling.


And more rolling.

For twenty minutes of my life, I rolled up a few katamari to pathetic sizes, and got yelled at by the King of Cosmos, whose fault it was the stars had fallen out of the sky to begin with.

With my balls of various collected items (cats, mice, paperclips, birds, crabs, cars, people), I put the broken universe back to some semblance of its former self - granted it was 'trash' with which I re-created the stars, things were happy for me, the little green Prince, slave to the King of Cosmos.

Then came the nausea.

I felt very ill. Was it the pepperoni? It was a week or so old.

Ignoring the possibilities of it being something else, I kept rolling my crabs along into a katamari in the hopes of creating the constellation "Cancer".



and Rolling some more.

At the twenty minute mark, I found myself flying to the bathroom to vomit. This was something I had not done in over four years or so.

I came back to my seat in the living room and handed the controller to H1. I quietly thought to myself that I really hoped it was the pepperoni but my suspicions were confirmed when H1 started feeling ill as well.

The HOchieS managed to pick up a 'nausea-inducing' fun game.

As I sit here typing this, I am feeling ill because I always feel slightly ill at the mention of the word "Katamari".

Well, two years ago our fun ended and while we are ashamed, we found out that we're not the only ones with this problem.

Two years ago saw us start a great game and end the fun in twenty minutes but that game was passed along to Beetchie who has since been hooked on it.

She's one of the lucky ones who gets to enjoy the bizarre music and the berating laid down by the King of Cosmos when the Prince rolls up a pathetic katamari. Sometimes she gets whipped but she likes it.

The fourth installment of the game came out recently, which Beetchie has been playing since yesterday. This is the real reason for the blog because she's out of control and gave me gems today. Please be warned, the following photo will shock you (and maybe even give you a little nausea without even playing the game).

Memorable Conversations from Beetchie:

I heart Katamari! I'm found a paper origami thingie of the little prince and I'm gonna print it out and put it together when I get home. So cute!

and then in an attempt to awaken me from my data entry slumber, she sent this -


Sometimes Beautiful Katamari, is not so beautiful...
and it likes to keed as well. Oh, the things you can roll up:

...You do this by rolling a katamari around one of several bizarre environments. Controlling the katamari simply involves moving the two sticks on the Xbox 360 controller around as if you were controlling a tank. The catch is that you can only roll up items that are relative in size to your katamari. So if you're presented with a teensy katamari, you can only roll up small things, like thumbtacks, coins, and candy pieces, until you're big enough to move on to the next tier of items. Eventually you'll be rolling up people, cars, floating cows, giant mushrooms, Ferris wheels, giant squids, clouds, Trinidad & Tobago, and Orion's Belt, among many, many, many other things.


Obsession(s) For Weeks 10/01 - 10/14

The Legend of Zelda: Phantom Hourglass

With our little KujaSeph Link!

He really is the cutest thing.

And Linebeck!

He's an ass but a loveable ass.

In Rainbows:

Indeed, I cannot wait.


...turned a lot of us into "opportunists" and showed that some of us have morals (apparently I've both qualities? - a moral opportunist, if you will)! But in any event, I am ready for October 10th.

I know, I know. Those obsessions have been up for ever but really, after we finished Zelda we did not have anything to obsess over.


I went on to Muse's website this morning for updates and it is apparent that they didn't pay their admins:

Or someone let Matt get a hold of it and he deleted the damned thing again.

Perhaps a new conspiracy theory?!

Sunday, November 04, 2007

The Deed Is Done

The PS3 has been bought.

It's a very beautiful system, but as per usual, a very easily dirtied piece of hardware that enjoys being bathed in dust, cat hair, cat drool and fingerprints.

The graphics are "wow", even when not played on HD goodness but you can see injustice being done to its capabilities. A great TV will be needed to enjoy the maximum brilliance of this thing.

Finally, the real reason for this post is that Motorstorm is surprisingly fun. It may be sick and wrong that we laugh when those excruciating, painful crashes and burning occurs but you have to see it.

Score 1 for Beetchie who got broken in her race by her character being hit in the head by her own foot, then her heel hitting the cliff side as she was falling down.

Thanks for the good times this weekend, Beetchie and H1.

There are 18 days left until the gig.

Oh and H1, I am not an amateur!

The Tale of Gobblor

There's not much to tell, really, since I don't know much about him. All I know from the bits of tale heard from Bughie J is that he is a Turkey bent on revenge on all those who devour turkeys on Thanksgiving. Until such time when all have been obliterated, Gobblor will not sleep nor will he rest.

This rendition of Gobblor, featured as the star on our Thanksgiving blog layout is thanks to Bughie J., who has seen the beast in person, forever immortalizing Gobblor with a very accurate drawing, he assures me, and a few computer digitalized burning buildings to enhance the severity of the carnage Gobblor can and will bring in the future.

Please do not inquire as to where Bughie J. saw said Gobblor, as I am sure such a painful recollection would be painful for him to recollect.

I certainly did not inquire because I'm sympathetic.

Gobblor has since sent turkey-scratched etched letters on slightly burnt paper to our attention, stating that he is pleased that he is receiving "free press" on The HOchieS' blog.

I am scared of him, so I will adhere to his demands (also etched in various letters) that he will remain the 'mascot' until after Thanksgiving.

Enjoy the new blog layout of fall colours and a Thanksgiving Turkey bent on destruction, or I guarantee we will be killed - so says Demand 2 of 47.

Currently listening to: "Serial Thrilla'" by Prodigy and "10,000 Days (Wings, Part 2)" by Tool. (Please note these are not Turkey Wings)

For The Memories

The Halloween Blog Lay out of 2007:

Currently: previewing tracks from QOTSA's Era Vulgaris.

Saturday, November 03, 2007

Oh Suckage!

Hmmm. Well, I've let Matt down. As of this moment, I cannot play more than 76% of "Knights of Cydonia" on Medium mode in GHIII.

I am horrid.

Yet, I could rival Lou the Devil for more than half a minute.


Currently watching: Beetchie trying to take down Lou The Devil. She'll rock it! But who knew the devil was such an asshole?

Thursday, November 01, 2007

Well, That Was a Waste of Time

Halloween 2007 is over and thank goodness. It was so bad, it doesn't even get a grade! It gets a "U"!

Alright, maybe an "F Minus Minus Squared".

No costume was very inspired this year. There were lots of the usual offenders - princesses and the like. A child of about 12 or not much older, and maybe even younger, showed up in a french maid outfit, with asscheeks hanging out and everything. It was disgusting. That little whore deserved to be locked up in her room with no MTV, Myspace or High School Musical or whatever shit it is she's learning to be ugly from.

It came very close to being a complete disaster for costumes until I saw a Black Spidey, who was slightly awesome thanks in part to the very dazzling, light up necklace around his neck.

Michael Myers, age 14 showed up at the door and that was pretty frightful. He's the only one deserving of an "A".

You know, other than me:

I worked very hard on that gourd! And H1 worked very hard on the self-love!

Boobey Head was rather impressive as well, actually.

There was only one A+ to dole out this holiday:

That boy can put on a wig, toss on a little makeup and be his sister.

What also made this Halloween ass, was that, for every polite child (oh and I must remember that one kid who rang the doorbell a million times only to greet us with a very polite good evening, Happy halloween to us and thanked us for the candy before she even received it - that kid was classic), there were 2 rude, FminusUcking bastards. They were the kind of kids who asked for particular candy but not nicely and then grabbed things from your bowl. They were also the ones not in costume. WTF.

I guess I have only myself to blame for not setting the mood by playing "This Is Halloween". I broke tradition and got shart.

Ah well, it's November! Which means good times in 20 days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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