Saturday, April 25, 2009

Observations of the Week: 4/18 - 4/25

We will not eat breakfast if it consist of Banana Nut Cheerios.

H1 and I had that this week for the first time and the worst thing about it is that when the milk soaks up the cheerios, which happens quite quickly, and the cereal gets soggy - it tastes just like mushed bananas.

Gross.

Clean Zombies

A Conversation in Badly Drawn Comic Form (and poorly scanned). Click to enlarge:



Editor's Note: No clean zombies were actually found in Resident Evil 5.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Speaking of Pirates

It's a myth that pirates walk around on a peg legs, have only one eye with the other glass eye covered up by an eye patch, and hang out with parrots.

Introducing my First Mate - Mr. Pirate King Potato Head.

Here he is sporting top of the line pirate boots, four eyes and a frog.



And here he is displaying his booty.

Avast, Ye Scurvy Dawgs!

What's with the talk of pirates lately?

Who knew pirates of the High Seas existed?

This just goes to show that certain parts of the world are still cutlassin' over some gold (and suga'cane?) and it is scary.

Don't they know pirating's only reserved for the Internet now? And that stealing from the rich to give to the rich is called "CAPITALISM"?

Serious business these pirates, but it turns out I've been doing a bit of pirating myself these days.

While not on the High Seas, I have taken to stealing from my dawgs to give to myself and H1.

That's right, I declare my Frenemies' Mario Coins in the Name of the HOchieS!

Thus far, I've collected booty from Bughie J. and Aims.

It might be that they'll benefit from my piracy in the long run but that is only due to the fact that I am not a very good pirate.

In fact, I believe the great Pirate Bughie J. somehow managed to trick me into giving him my Club Nintendo login information without my realising my folly!

And that is why he managed to plunder Trinidad in the not so distant past.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Square Butts

I'm just like the rest of you lot. I too have nightmares by watching the Burger King King.

This evening though, when I heard a familiar tune start up, I had to watch the TV.

Before I continue with this story and I may have mentioned it before, H1 often tries to blackmail with embarrassing stories by telling people that my first CD was Sir Mix-A-Lot's album.

That's right, the one with "Baby Got Back".

I was headed in a direction of Frass many years ago but then Stone Temple Pilots converted me, and for that I am thankful.

Even so, I am not ashamed by my ownage of that CD.

That was some goo'd times in my fuzzy memories and let us leave it at that.

Getting back to the story at hand, I heard a familiar sound and that was "Baby Got Back".

Wondering if I had returned to the early months of 1992 (man was I impressionable! Only 3 months later and I was converted to STP and alternative rock! Nice!), I turned to the TV and was greeted by this hot damned mess of a commercial (be warned, this is the extended version and I've not listened yet because I can't find the volume control on Papa HOchie's computer):



I laughed but knew that this was way wrong.

They showed this mess after 9 PM and that was smart on their part because having Spongebob defiled like this makes me a bit ill. A sadistic laughing kind of ill but ill all the same.

It's been 10 years since that sponge has been on and I would like to keep the memories of his antics as yellow clean as he continues to be even after 10 years of use.

One can only imagine what children might think if they saw this.

It's awesomely wrong.

When are we going to Burger King, H1?

[Update @ 10:53 PM]: The Burger King King scares the square crap out of X.

Missing Wesker

Just shy of 3 or so hours, 1 week ago this moment, Bunji and I finished Resident Evil 5.

I have to say that I miss Wesker terribly.

I know he was an ass, kicked my (and Bunji's...mostly Bunji's) asses, and he had a comical voice actor with the exaggerated "Chrrrriiiss" British type accent put on but it was funny to me and I loved him.

That effer did not want to go down. Even in lava he could not be stopped! It took lava and two rocket launchers to the head to do him in and oops, sorry for the spoiler with no spoiler alert for anyone who might be reading it and wanted to play.

So the bastard's gone but I suspect this isn't the last Chris Redfield (Bunji), Jill Valentine (hideous hair dye job or maybe that was the Progeniture virus?), Sheva (me! I'm a hero lady!), Claire Redfield, or Leon Kennedy (he's so lame) will see of Wesker in some form or other, considering there was talk of "Wesker Children".

I also suspect this isn't the last post about Resident Evil 5 nerditure that I have to post. In fact, I know it isn't because I have at least 2 more related posts coming involving zombies and lickers.

Did I mention I miss that ass Bunji too?

Yeah.

I miss him, as well.

S7: 24 HC - 2 AM to 3 AM

2 AM to 3 AM:

How poor of an actress was that woman who played the real lawyer of Jon Voight's? When those people were at the door and she looked like a deer in the headlights, I'm not sure about the crew but I'd say she's a comedian because I sure as hell laughed my ass off.

Seriously, who is this biatch that threatened Jon Voight's family?! Who do you think you are that you could threaten Brangelina? I would threaten Maddox if I were you. That kid looks like he could kick some ass.

Kim Bauer continues to reign stupid. She apparently now has a daughter she named Terri. Why would you ask for a Nina in the future to kill future Teri Bauer? That's just asking for a whole new series of heartache!

I'm sure that Tony A. hates when Jack Bauer plays McGuyver, and that's why he used the "you're paranoid, Jack" card on him. Nice.

The Starkwood/Tony A. Operative covering himself with someone else's blood to get out of the building? Nice, too.

Finally, a flashback from last week - did anyone else notice that rigor mortis set in immediately for Larry Moss? I'm pretty sure not even ten minutes had gone by after Tony A. suffocated his ass. The show is timed in real-time afterall.

Head Count: 3.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

S7: 24 HC - 12 AM to 2 AM

12 AM to 1 AM:

Hodges is scary. When Jon Voight acts a psychopath, he really isn't 'acting'. That family is full of crazies! Yep, I'm looking at you Angelina.

That scene when he tossed down that poor Chairman was possibly the scariest thing on TV since the last time Ryan the ass Seacrest was on TV, which would mean since last Wednesday.

And then when that poor Chairman fell unto the blown up map of the World, I laughed. But then I felt really sorry for him again because he landed under the asshole of America - New Jersey. That's what it was, right B.? That'd make sense since NJ certainly does smell like ass.

Head Count: 2.

1 AM to 2 AM:

Kim Bauer wasted my life four about 3 minutes with her face that turned horsey animal variant. She always wastes my life but the nerve of her to waste it with her extra hideousness was just wrong.

So I will admit, that earlier on during the episode when Tony A. was doing a solo op. I questioned whether or not he was going to do it. Out loud I said and to myself so there's no one to verify my cleverness - "is Tony A. going to go traitor on them?"

And this was even before he pulled that guy out from under the base where he had set up the explosive devices - which by the way, I found very strange of him to do. Tony A.? A compassionate man? Hardly.

I'm not surprised by his actions because I never fully believed he was really good even though that's still questionable (sure he killed that ass Larry Moss - and hooray for that! Yay!) but I guess he's got some kind of conscience after all or...doing something...good?

I'm just more concerned that his ass is going to die. I don't want him to die again.

Head Count: 3. That was wrong how that guy head shot the FBI agent though.

Friday, April 17, 2009

You Know What Is Hella' Awesome Though?

This e-mail blog posting is hella' awesome.
 
I am so impressed right now!

Feeling Extra Hateful

While it is true that I am mostly a hateful biatch at any given moment of the day, I am currently feeling a little bit extra on the hateful behaviour front.
 
While H1 and I knew it was going to be an awesome show, we didn't need to read that the Flight of the Conchords started the show in robot suits and launched straight into "Too Many Dicks on the Dancefloor". 
 
We also did not need to know that almost every awesome song was played including our favourite "Carol Brown".
 
We did not need to know that Kristen Schaal had an awesome stand up set as the opening act.
 
We did not need to know any of these things, and that we missed an awesome FOTC experience because we were already hurting knowing that it would be all these great things and more, and that Ticketmaster effed us over.  Again.
 
Tch.
 
Currently listening to: H1 Viva Pinata-ing, Setzer (Memory Lane) III texting me, and Luuuuuuiiiiiiisssss watching The Punisher.

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Awww, Ulqui

I can't believe you were offed but at least you didn't go out like a punk.

I'm still hating on Tite Kubo.

Thursday, April 09, 2009

Crippling Lucca's Mother...Again.

Replaying Chrono Trigger, makes me realise (and Bughie J., I'm sure) that I don't remember much about one of the greatest games I have ever played.

I know it's great because everyone says so, and I did play it almost ten years ago and enjoyed...so why did I just not remember anything about the story?

I guess I was just not paying that close attention and was probably too wrapped up in acquiring that asshole that I adore Magus and being depressed when Bughie J. led me to kill him. On purpose, I might add.

Whatever the reason, I'm once again (of that I'm sure) thoroughly enjoying my replay of this fabulous game on the DS.

I set it to classic mode because DS mode just became way too confusing for my little brain, but the point is - what an incredible, complex story!

The characters are loveable but the story line and attention to details is just absolutely amazing.

It's got everything a person could want! It's got heart, an awesomely timeless soundtrack, time travel, gurus, a festival, comedy, Taban (everything's your fault, ass!), Tata, a nerd, a princess no one could possibly want other than to hate, a pre-historic bad-assed cave woman, a gorf, an asshole prophet, Ozzie, Flea, Slash, a robo, a crono...and a mop!

A mop that I stole!

Make that, a mop that I charmed off the back of some Nu. I was told that this Nu needs it to sweep his flat, so I'll give it back but I keep getting headbutt.

I suppose Nu don't forgive that easily when they've been wronged...uh, charmed.

It also has lots of something a person does not need, and that's heartache.

I'm sorry Lucca's Mom.

Luckily for you, I didn't save and will try again tomorrow.

Tuesday, April 07, 2009

Like A Loser

Friday happened and I happened upon Nintendo World.

H1 thought it best to not have a "loser" status but I think she was wrong.

I still think I'm a loser, even though I did pre-order. It's the kind of loser feeling one gets from seeing the DSi in stock.

Ah well. I don't like taking chances sometimes.

But man, am I liking my little DSi.

And man, am I a loser for gifts - of the threebie variety!






I know B. is thinking about swiping my little charm thingie there...aren't you, B.?



It's a sad thing when the box is so heavy because of the manual. I'll have to take a picture of that sometime to show just how massive it is. Which DSi camera to use? Bwahahaha. Lame.

You know what's also lame? The DSi trying to blind me!

I turned it on and was not expecting to look upon the sun when I flipped that screen open. I actually had to look away because of that damned backlight but it was pretty frickin' hilarious, in my mind, but not to my eyes.

Little red DS of H1's...you are still awesome!




And it's not just because of your awesomely placed racing flame, either.

But man, did I do a pretty awesome job there.

Ha.

Currently playing on the DSi: Chrono Trigger and watching KRONUS kick the bucket at 6:40 AM this morning. Awwww =(
That game is still the most brilliant thing ever.

Thursday, April 02, 2009

Like a Loser?

Usually, I'm on the ball. Well, okay, not always.

But in 2006, the day pre-orders were being taken for the Nintendo Wii, I was on it!

The day I picked it up, a week after its release, I walked in there and claimed my Wii much to the annoyance of people in the store desperately trying to get one.

Just about every day for almost 2 years after that, the line outside Nintendo World for the Wii was long due to the high demand of the Wii and the unavailability of the system. Even on days when those people had no right to be standing on line because it was in stock at other stores, they stood there.

In the cold.

In the rain.

In the hot sun.

In the normal weather. Yeah, sometimes the weather was tolerable.

And every day, H1 and I would pass by and shout out, "You should have pre-ordered!" Eventually we would pass by and say, "Okay, now you're just being lame. Go to Gamestop and get one! It's like a 3 minute walk from here!".

The day has come.

The day I might be the tool waiting in line outside Nintendo to buy a DSi.

Just. like. a. loser.

Now, mind you... I can easily go tomorrow and pre-order. There's still time for that.

I can go on to Amazon and pre-order. There's still time for that.

But I'm hoping against all good sense that a The Legend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks comes out with a limited edition bundle. While I highly doubt it since a golden Triforce (ooo...gaudy) edition was already released for the DS Lite, I'm going to do the something-tells-me-it's-a-stupid-thing stupid thing, and wait.

I know those assholes are going to release one in Japan and not here. Isn't that always the case? Don't the Japanese hate me? Yes, yes they do.

Anyways, come Saturday at Midnight, Nintendo World will be open until 2 AM, so you can be the first to pick up your new DSi, and I won't be one of those people.

If Beetchie were here, we'd make another jaunt of it probably, even though she might trying to "yoink" my new stylish DSi and toss me her Lite.

But it's okay, Beetchie... if Link doesn't pan out, and the rumoured re-release of Final Fantasy VI does, and it comes in a bundle, I'll get that so you can swoon. But! Only if Kefka's on the DSi. I don't want those other effer's on my DSi, unless you know, it's like the Phantom Train, Gau or Edgar Figaro or something.

Thank you.

S7 - 24 HC: 11 PM to 12 AM

So this is how Jack Bauer's life ends? The biological contaminants in his blood that will lay dormant for the rest of Season 7 and most of Season 8, triggers at the end of Season 8. Sad. I just hope he doesn't make a stupid face like Edgar did.

That person who tricked Tony A. into thinking he was helping him, reminds me of a crazy ass that I hope to never see again. I can't wait until Tony A. destroys him and I don't have to have flashbacks of creepiness anymore.

Head Count: 1. Psyche, Tony A.! It's actually 0. Don't worry, you'll get your chance soon. I hope... it'd really suck if they killed Tony A. off. Again.

Peeps

I've been quite excited about taking a picture of a peep or three for the Peep Photo Contest from National Geographic Travel (take photos of your peeps on your travels at iconic locations).

Before CLee ruined it with his smuggery for me, H1 and I told just about all the frenemies that we should all enter if possible and together we came up with some classic ideas.

Barbados:

"Where else in the world can we find a peep kicking a coconut? We're looking at WIM in BIM!"

Sun too hot? How about a slightly melted peep under the hot sun, on a coconut, near the ocean in BIM?

Peep Vs. Crab! A showdown at dusk on the beach with crabby results!

A Peep climbing a coconut tree.

A Peep flying with the flying fish.

X, we're counting on you!

Trinidad:

A Peep at Maracas, enjoying a Bake and Shark at Richard's.

Peeps doing stations of the cross at St. Joseph.

Peeps at Independence Square, in line for some KFC.

Peeps getting down with the locals at a doubles stand.

Peeps sinking in the Pitch Lake! A fake sinking, of course. There will be no fossilized peeps there.

Come on Trini peeps (har har), we're counting on you! (MC, TD5 and CLee - maybe not you so much)

Grenada

Peeps smoking nutmegs.

Peeps at St. George's University - Veterinary Program - with some dogs, Halloween Peeps in the Anatomy Lab.

Beetchie, did you already eat those peeps?

Michigan

Peeps rolling down the dunes at Lake Michigan.

Peeps in Detroit, at a Kiss concert - geared up with black and white face make up over one eye. METAL PEEP!

(Though Bughie J. informs me that the cost of doing all that would be more than the cost of the prize, which does not even factor in the psychological cost of going to Detroit)

Peeps at a now defunct Auto Industry plant, on a bicycle.

Peeps in the once booming but now depressed Auto Industry town of Flint, making a documentary entitled "Peeps and Me" - a glimpse into the lives of laid-off auto industry peeps moldy and green on auto-plant break room tables. Some choose to end their own misery in microwaves, some, in freezers. A few raise chocolate bunnies then kill them and sell them to earn a meager living! so sad.

New Jersey

Shocking, no? It's actually on the list!

Peeps going from NY to NJ via the Ferry and realising their icky fate (ie their destination to Hell), they line up on the side and throw themselves over in a mass peep suicide.

Throw some peeps at the Statue of Liberty, and while not pictured we could all scream "Take THAT, New Jersey!!!!"

Frass, organize, will you please?

New York

Peeps in Chinatown - on a dim sum cart, in a dim sum steam tray surrounded by chicken feet and a general meaty carnage! or Peeps at where the cool kids hang out (but that can't be photographed since we must keep the non-cool kids out).

Peeps falling off the back of a truck in Crooklyn.

Peeps at the Apollo.

Peeps at Times Square, naked and wearing a cowboy hat.

Peeps at Toys R' Us, hanging out in Barbie's Dream House, face to face with lego T-Rex or pretending to be a pokemon. Peepomon, I choose you! (really, is that show still on?!)

Peeps of all colours hanging out with kids skating at Rockefeller's skating rink.

Peeps at Radio City Music Hall, on Broadway or in a mosh pit at MSG.

Peeps in front of Nintendo World, hanging out with Boo and in line for a DSi.

Peeps with headphones in, riding the subway.

Peeps NOT at the 5th Avenue apple store. That's just smug and lame.

Though, a peep mushed on the glass creating chaos and resulting my possible arrest at the 5 Ave. apple store, now there's a great picture.

Currently: mourning that Ape'Day won't happen before the end of the Peep Contest Submissions.

Wednesday, April 01, 2009

The First Day in April

Hope it's a great month for all with no pranks played today or any day.

Rabbit, Rabbit, Rabbit...Hare, Hare, Hare.

I'm looking forward to Ape'Day.
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