Friday, December 23, 2011

The Airing of Grievances 2011

'Tis the moment you have all been waiting for!

The Christmas Monkey with the all seeing gangsta eyes has come to deliver the news...

The crystal ball does not lie
Ah yes, the wonderful Airing of Grievances.  Last year as it turns out, you guys were pretty good which is why we're so sorry to have felt your misgivings this year.

Here is something quite surprising and I believe its a HOchieS' Grievance List first...There's a tie this year for the top spot.



1. CLee

You know that business of yours where you came up to spend time with us for 2 weeks? That was awesome.  But you know that business of yours where you came up to spend time with us for 2 weeks and neglected to tell us that you would be spending an extra week after you left us with your BFF?! Not.  Nice.

You deserve top spot on the Grievance List this year but fear not, you are not alone because...

1. MC

For allowing BAM to smack Suga'Face (but I will have you know I had a stern talking to him and he will not do it again); for blatantly stating that the reason why you stopped calling me and called H1 instead was that you had no need for me because I do not have a child (I will have you know, I have 5 chirren!); and for buying me Danish butter cookies with underhanded intentions of my having a tin in which to bake YOU a black cake...

You also deserve top spot on the Grievance List this year.

3. TD5

For missing Thanksgiving with the HOchieS two years in a row.  I mean, things happen and you couldn't come.  We understand that completely but allowing me to fall prey to BAM and other chirren when you should have been praying over their naughty little heads...

You deserve the third spot on the Grievance List this year.

4. X

For allowing Moodou to smack that cup out of your hand like nobody's buisness; for allowing him to not share yogurt puffs with Suga'Face; and after all of that claiming he is a sweet child even though he is clearly a Bad Man...

You (or possibly Moodou) deserve the fourth spot on the Grievance List this year.

5. Beetchie

For considering taking an Internship in NJ for a year...really, need we say more?

6. Bughie J.

For not baking brownies.  Some on this list may say that deserves top spot and at first I appreciated that you did not want to give me brownies not made with love.  But then I realized you just caused an angry mob headed my way (spearheaded by Bunji Bro)...

You deserve the sixth spot on the Grievance List this year.

7. Frass

You always manage to end up so low on the list.  You scheme quite well what with your treks to Brooklyn to bring us pastelles and always showing up to the house with wine.  Bribery clearly works for you but you know, you really should not be laughing at the fortune cookie asshattery thrown at me.  Also, I saw the great Simon Pegg and you had no idea who he was.  How is it we can be friends and you have not seen Shaun of the Dead ? It's required viewing, damn it! Even MC has seen it.  What the heck?! Unforgivable...

You deserve the seventh spot on the Grievance List this year.

Please all, try to be better next year, won't you?

With Best Wishes and Furious Angry Eyes,

The HOchieS


2 comments:

  1. I think the worst thing there is buying someone a tin of cookies so that they have a pan to make you a cake. *shm*

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hence the top of the grievance list...if he had not done that, he may have been 2nd place but no.

    wv: fulnestr

    ReplyDelete

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