Tuesday, September 03, 2013


You know...I guess I always thought that I would have Pumpies for a long time still.  

Maybe another 5 years or so years, I thought.  In my head I always thought he would live until he was 18 and he only just turned 13 on August 31st.  

I remember when we got him.  I went with brother Bunji and Angelo to the shelter one day.  I walked around and he was the first to catch my eye.  This orange boy who came up to greet me and was super friendly in his cage.  An older cat .. he was near 2 when we got him and it was already hard for the older ones to be adopted.  I had no idea why he was still there because he was to me, the most beautiful, funny little cat with so much personality.  All I needed were those 3 or so minutes with him to know he was the one.

Angelo called us over to see this all black cat named Firefighter.  I was in mid sentence saying how cute he was when he slapped me in the face through his cage.  That was an immediate no, even if that story makes for a great laugh every time I recall it.

I went back to Pumpkin and excitedly called my brother to come see this charming, friendly cat.  When we got to his cage he was curled up in at the back and refused to be social.  "Come on cat...I am trying to help you out here! Be friendly like before and you can come home with us!"

My brother moved on to look at the other cats.  That day we almost went home with Firefighter.  I don't know how I convinced them but I remember I just kep harping on Pumpkin.  In my mind he was already my cat.  And even if he was going home to my brother's, I chose him.  I fought for him.  I always joked with Pumpkin that he owed me his life.

When they finally decided he was the one what I already knew in my heart, we took him home and tried to change his name.  Pumpkin was already his name and we liked it enough to stick with it.  There was nothing else to call him.  He was Pumpkin.  

He had more personality than I ever imagined.  We heard from the shelter that he used to knock the toys down from the shelf down to the other cats so they could play with them.  During his time with us we spoiled him rotten and he became this bratty beast.  I say brat but really all he ever did was want attention and constant petting.  But most of all he was pretty smart.  He was insanely smart to the point where there was just so much knowing and intelligence in his eyes.  It is something I could never describe to you.  He was dog like in his ways.  Human in his thinking.  

This is still the funniest picture of him. 

I apologized to him for making the decision I made.  I could have held on for selfish reasons but I knew I could not put him through that.  He was mild-mannered and happy to be with me even to the end.  Bughie J. told me that Pumpkin knew I did right by him by making the decision I made and that it would have been hard watching Pumpkin not do all the Pumpkinie things he used to do that made him who he was.  The problem was that even in his state he was being the boy I always knew.  Maybe he slowed down some but there he was, still begging for food and still headbutting your hand for petting.  

It broke me when he was given his sedative and he turned to look at what the vet was doing and then just like that, my hand which had been cradling the side of his face, he took comfort in it like he always did, nuzzled his little face down into it and went to sleep.

Yesterday I could not sit on the couch when I got home after holding his little face in my hands and kissing him goodbye.  I just couldn't sit on the couch.  Every time I did there was always a little orange/bottle blonde beast that would come out of no where and nuzzle his way into my lap and yesterday I looked around aimlessly because even though I knew what had just happened, it snapped like a routine and for one brief second I looked around puzzled.  

This was a habit he picked up later on his life.  I don't know what changed him but one day he just decided he would be a lap cat.  The first time he did it it was with a complete stranger who happened to be quite a pretty woman.  We joked about that - here he was hamming it up for a pretty face.

Then one day he just crawled into my lap and never left.  He had been doing it for years and it is hard for me to remember what he did before that.  I don't know.  Maybe I just became beautiful to him that day.  I guess I should feel flattered.

When I looked down, there was my little Pumpkin.

But the couch... I don't know when I can get back to it.  There's no cat to sit in my lap.  I can't even bear to look at it.  I can hardly bear to walk in the house.  I remember all those nights I spent sitting on that thing and here he was fighting his way to crawl on my lap.  "Pumpkin!", I would always joke as if I were exasperated and annoyed but he knew I would have it no other way.  I missed him after all whenever he decided he was more interested in being on his cat perch than being with me.  I would beg him to come.  That irony was never lost on me.

We watched countless shows together.  All the USA Network ones I sometimes feign I have no knowledge on.  LutherFuturamaGravity Falls.  News.  Any and everything.  We also played so many games together.  Uncharted.  Countless hours of dozens of JRPGs.  How many hours of the same Japanese tropes and dramatics did we sink time with together?  How many chocobos did we ride together? How many fantastical beasts and bosses did we fight together? How many times did he have to hear me gasp at a plot twist? How many explicit cries of frustration at not being able to overcome a portion of a game? How many times did he have to hear Link do a signature cry when attacking some stalfos?  

All you jerks will remember how fat he was.  But he was big-boned! He did love his food though.  That little jerk would never leave my plate alone! He grabbed food off of it the other day.  After I had been saving that piece of chicken to enjoy last too... Oh, Pumps.

I'm also glad Beetchie got to say goodbye to him too.  Thank you, B.

I say he was my cat.  But really H1 always said that it was not that he was my cat...it was that I was his girl.  It's true.  But I always made that other joke the wrong way, Pumpkin because I owed you my life.

I miss you so much, Pumps.  I'm sorry I didn't let you come sleep on my head one last time the night before.

I miss that orange butt in my face. 


  1. Aw man, I had to close my door because I am bawling in the office. I'm sorry I yelled at him but he was so miserable with the food and digging into me. Pumpkin. ::sniff::

    - H1

    1. Now I'm crying too. Aww, Pumpies. He was my favourite boy. It's okay, he continued to dig into you because he was an ass. Love him. =(


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