I have been pondering this for quite the while now, and yesterday it dawned on me that while you peeps are jerks, you really haven't done anything to warrant a grievance against you this year.
TD5 does think we are mean to MC and he should mind his buisness! But...that doesn't really mean he gets on the list either for his defense of MC.
H1 did miss Muse with me this year at Wembley Stadium and I was cranky because Muse sent me my Christmas presents and I saw what fun we missed, but Matt went ahead and started dating ah duttyness, so if anyone's to be on the list, it's not H1 but Matt.
MC did come to my house and ate up my food, but he also gave me presents, so I can't hate on him for that.
Frass brought pastelles...
Beetchie...hm. She could possibly make the top of this list. She really hasn't been very nice to me lately! What with her besties! But that wouldn't be true, would it?
X... X moved away to Bim, had a Baby Moodou and I have not seen her in some time. She does call me, and it is funny that Moodou is always fighting with the cow... I guess there really is no real grievance against her.
Bughie J. sent all manners of music and brownies. The brownies we suspected were 'sauced' but really it was almond extract, so that's okay. Ah! And he sent music...
And this brings me to my true grievance this year.
1. Electronics.
My PS3 kicked the bucket earlier this year. I handled it well, until it was replaced by a newer model. I'm still sore about it.
And now this morning? My 2nd hard drive has kicked the bucket. I'm not in panic mode yet even though that's all my damned music. ALL OF IT. But I'm trying to remain calm until I speak with Luuuuuuiiiiiissssss, to see if he can save my data.
I knew I should have bought that bloody back up.
Psh.
Merry Frickin' Festivus.
Showing posts with label Festivus. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Festivus. Show all posts
Friday, December 24, 2010
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
The Airing of Grievances 2009
My anger is fierce.
1. Chase and Amazon. If Chase didn't eff me over big time this year, I could have had a billion gift certificates from Amazon by now!
2. X - This grievance is for you and you alone so stop your bitchin'. Prezzies from Japan while welcome become null and void if they are bought to distract. Don't forget that I cannot be bribed! Because I will take your 'bribery' and STILL I will remember your misgivings. Don't think I forgot that you left us for Bim this year!
3. Bunji - What the heck? You come live with us for a few, make me stay up way late on work days, had me playing Resident Evil 5 until 2 a.m. and then you go to N.C. to live? At least it wasn't Arizona or out nyo again, and since N.C. is like Westchester, then that is the only thing securing your place after X and not before.
4. Beetchie - I accept that you needed to move from the island. It's great that you did because it needed to be done. But there was no reason to go to Oregon and begin the Hippy process. Getting an iphone did not do you any favours either because your smug is overwhelming.
Also, stop ditching us for booty. Pretty soon, we won't feed you if you come around.
5. MC! Wow, last year you were number 1 and this year...look! Number 4! And no, I'm not incorrect in my count. This year, you went ahead and got married which is fine but you only introduced us to Kimpossible the night before the wedding. Wha'?! And you didn't feed us! And on top of that, you made this Ho take in sun not only in Trinidad but Tobago too? You know, I was proud to be displaced - I was the only Trini to never have been to Tobago and now my displacement is in ruins. Thanks, thanks a lot.
6. Frass - you weren't really bad per say this year. You didn't feed us like you did last year but you're forgiven being that you had to get a new job and all. You did bring us alcohol which is becoming a frequent event that we enjoy. However, you did sleep through Black Friday plans again. Should we just come to an understanding that we shouldn't make plans that day? Afterall, I probably cannot support both you and my Amazon addictions on that day.
7. TD5 - Hmmm...you are only on this list for getting "505" before H1. Other than that, you were awesome for coming in August and sharing great times with me. We saw YYY together, got sick (or rather I got sick), braved assland NJ and almost got struck by lightning. Oh! and we shared a new GCS tradition of eating ice-cream on the train after a concert. And Arctic Monkeys was great. You almost made the top of the list for inviting people to eat my stuffing but as it turns out, we like them a lot so you are spared. We heart you.
8. Bughie J. - Bread? Greatness. Brownies? Extra Greatness. Not enough brownies? Grievance list for you. It's not your fault that there was a Beetchie, Bunji and Bo Brownies incident but if we had TWO batches, I'd not be crying now! Thanks for our treats!
9. Clee - threatening us with 1 week MAYBE of visits next year is like slapping us in the face! What happened to our 5 weeks?! Okay, we understand why no 5 week sand we can't wait to watch Toy Story 3 with you. But please, keep your smuggery at home.
10. Gen' Frien' - No grievances against you. I just didn't want you to feel left out.
11. Anj. - no grievances against you either - I just wanted to make sure you were paying attention. Are you?
Happy Festivus, All Frenemies!
1. Chase and Amazon. If Chase didn't eff me over big time this year, I could have had a billion gift certificates from Amazon by now!
2. X - This grievance is for you and you alone so stop your bitchin'. Prezzies from Japan while welcome become null and void if they are bought to distract. Don't forget that I cannot be bribed! Because I will take your 'bribery' and STILL I will remember your misgivings. Don't think I forgot that you left us for Bim this year!
3. Bunji - What the heck? You come live with us for a few, make me stay up way late on work days, had me playing Resident Evil 5 until 2 a.m. and then you go to N.C. to live? At least it wasn't Arizona or out nyo again, and since N.C. is like Westchester, then that is the only thing securing your place after X and not before.
4. Beetchie - I accept that you needed to move from the island. It's great that you did because it needed to be done. But there was no reason to go to Oregon and begin the Hippy process. Getting an iphone did not do you any favours either because your smug is overwhelming.
Also, stop ditching us for booty. Pretty soon, we won't feed you if you come around.
5. MC! Wow, last year you were number 1 and this year...look! Number 4! And no, I'm not incorrect in my count. This year, you went ahead and got married which is fine but you only introduced us to Kimpossible the night before the wedding. Wha'?! And you didn't feed us! And on top of that, you made this Ho take in sun not only in Trinidad but Tobago too? You know, I was proud to be displaced - I was the only Trini to never have been to Tobago and now my displacement is in ruins. Thanks, thanks a lot.
6. Frass - you weren't really bad per say this year. You didn't feed us like you did last year but you're forgiven being that you had to get a new job and all. You did bring us alcohol which is becoming a frequent event that we enjoy. However, you did sleep through Black Friday plans again. Should we just come to an understanding that we shouldn't make plans that day? Afterall, I probably cannot support both you and my Amazon addictions on that day.
7. TD5 - Hmmm...you are only on this list for getting "505" before H1. Other than that, you were awesome for coming in August and sharing great times with me. We saw YYY together, got sick (or rather I got sick), braved assland NJ and almost got struck by lightning. Oh! and we shared a new GCS tradition of eating ice-cream on the train after a concert. And Arctic Monkeys was great. You almost made the top of the list for inviting people to eat my stuffing but as it turns out, we like them a lot so you are spared. We heart you.
8. Bughie J. - Bread? Greatness. Brownies? Extra Greatness. Not enough brownies? Grievance list for you. It's not your fault that there was a Beetchie, Bunji and Bo Brownies incident but if we had TWO batches, I'd not be crying now! Thanks for our treats!
9. Clee - threatening us with 1 week MAYBE of visits next year is like slapping us in the face! What happened to our 5 weeks?! Okay, we understand why no 5 week sand we can't wait to watch Toy Story 3 with you. But please, keep your smuggery at home.
10. Gen' Frien' - No grievances against you. I just didn't want you to feel left out.
11. Anj. - no grievances against you either - I just wanted to make sure you were paying attention. Are you?
Happy Festivus, All Frenemies!
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
The Airing of Grievances and New Year's Resolutions
They may be late but the Festivus tradition of the "Airing of Grievances" will not be broken!
Due to the fact that it's Old Year's Night and a new year is upon us in a few hours, we'll also list New Year's Resolutions that you asshats should live by.
Let's start with MC, since he did us waaaaay dirty this past year.
MC
Your Most Heinous Grievance of 2008 -
How is it you managed to find a woman and engage she before anyone has even met her?! Mk does not count as the lot of us having met her.
You also did not come this way for Thanksgiving either but taking the other grievance into consideration, this is the least of our worries.
The HOchieS resolution for you in 2009 -
Make sure there's good food at your wedding.
TD5
Grievance of 2008 -
We can't believe you really did find Jeebus before you found us last year! But luckily you did find us this year before TOTALLY finding Jeebus.
The HOchieS resolution for you in 2009 -
Not so much as a resolution but a concern. We're concerned that this may become a yearly thing with you...this Finding of Jeebus.
X
Grievance of 2008 -
Worst than ever before, your runk like a skunk behaviour was way out of control. And if not for an in house Holiday party this year, WHO KNOWS what kind of hooker-ing was going to go down and what this grievance would have been.
The HOchieS resolution for you in 2009 -
We thought kicking you out of The Oxtails would sober you some, but clearly you are wrong and strong. Please be try to less runk and more skunk. Skunks are cute.
Frass
Grievances of 2008 -
Not as severe as last year but on principle we have to have three. We recall you disappeared on us at some point during Spring but came back in full force by bestowing us with candy from London and almost successfully defended it from the bottomless pit that is your sister, free dinner (and maybe you should have a grievance with us for inviting Alex and X but let us not talk about that...moving along), and bringing us lots of alcohol. However, you also downsized H1's gift from Italy and suggest that her fierceness was not fierce enough.
The HOchieS resolution for you in 2009 -
We think you should strive to be less angry about not having parties.
Beetchie
Grievance of 2008
You went to Grenada to get away from being in servitude, then demands stuff from us while over there. As Watanuki, that is not how things work!
The HOchieS resolution for you in 2009 -
Be a proper servant.
CLee
Grievance of 2008
Smug! Your smugness increased in 2008!
The HOchieS resolution for you in 2009 -
We would you like to be in NY with the HOchieS for TWO months and of course, try to stop liking the smell of your own farts.
Bughie J.
Grievance of 2008
At first we thought this was a grievance free year for you once more but H1 suddenly remembered that she did not get any brownies yet.
The HochieS resolution for you in 2009 -
We require two batches of brownies. Perhaps we will make them Easter brownies to give you some time.
Pandy
Grievance of 2008
We used to be BFFs. For the entire year, we were BFFs and then you went to Australia and you fell off the face of the planet (there AND when you got back!)
The HOchieS resolution for you in 2009 -
You too are to ensure that the food at your wedding is good, or else you'll find yourself higher on the grievance list.
Diderick and The Cheat
Grievance of 2008 -
While I thank you for my Royal Dansk butter cookies, you truly did me an unkindness. You know I suffer from an addiction!
Or 2's resolution for you in 2009 -
Buy a smaller tin for me next Christmas.
Or 2
Grievance of 2008 and resolution for 2009
Stop making me watch your damned anime!!! - H1
H1
Grievance of 2008 and resolution for 2009
You'll watch my damned anime if I want! - Or 2.
Due to the fact that it's Old Year's Night and a new year is upon us in a few hours, we'll also list New Year's Resolutions that you asshats should live by.
Let's start with MC, since he did us waaaaay dirty this past year.
MC
Your Most Heinous Grievance of 2008 -
How is it you managed to find a woman and engage she before anyone has even met her?! Mk does not count as the lot of us having met her.
You also did not come this way for Thanksgiving either but taking the other grievance into consideration, this is the least of our worries.
The HOchieS resolution for you in 2009 -
Make sure there's good food at your wedding.
TD5
Grievance of 2008 -
We can't believe you really did find Jeebus before you found us last year! But luckily you did find us this year before TOTALLY finding Jeebus.
The HOchieS resolution for you in 2009 -
Not so much as a resolution but a concern. We're concerned that this may become a yearly thing with you...this Finding of Jeebus.
X
Grievance of 2008 -
Worst than ever before, your runk like a skunk behaviour was way out of control. And if not for an in house Holiday party this year, WHO KNOWS what kind of hooker-ing was going to go down and what this grievance would have been.
The HOchieS resolution for you in 2009 -
We thought kicking you out of The Oxtails would sober you some, but clearly you are wrong and strong. Please be try to less runk and more skunk. Skunks are cute.
Frass
Grievances of 2008 -
Not as severe as last year but on principle we have to have three. We recall you disappeared on us at some point during Spring but came back in full force by bestowing us with candy from London and almost successfully defended it from the bottomless pit that is your sister, free dinner (and maybe you should have a grievance with us for inviting Alex and X but let us not talk about that...moving along), and bringing us lots of alcohol. However, you also downsized H1's gift from Italy and suggest that her fierceness was not fierce enough.
The HOchieS resolution for you in 2009 -
We think you should strive to be less angry about not having parties.
Beetchie
Grievance of 2008
You went to Grenada to get away from being in servitude, then demands stuff from us while over there. As Watanuki, that is not how things work!
The HOchieS resolution for you in 2009 -
Be a proper servant.
CLee
Grievance of 2008
Smug! Your smugness increased in 2008!
The HOchieS resolution for you in 2009 -
We would you like to be in NY with the HOchieS for TWO months and of course, try to stop liking the smell of your own farts.
Bughie J.
Grievance of 2008
At first we thought this was a grievance free year for you once more but H1 suddenly remembered that she did not get any brownies yet.
The HochieS resolution for you in 2009 -
We require two batches of brownies. Perhaps we will make them Easter brownies to give you some time.
Pandy
Grievance of 2008
We used to be BFFs. For the entire year, we were BFFs and then you went to Australia and you fell off the face of the planet (there AND when you got back!)
The HOchieS resolution for you in 2009 -
You too are to ensure that the food at your wedding is good, or else you'll find yourself higher on the grievance list.
Diderick and The Cheat
Grievance of 2008 -
While I thank you for my Royal Dansk butter cookies, you truly did me an unkindness. You know I suffer from an addiction!
Or 2's resolution for you in 2009 -
Buy a smaller tin for me next Christmas.
Or 2
Grievance of 2008 and resolution for 2009
Stop making me watch your damned anime!!! - H1
H1
Grievance of 2008 and resolution for 2009
You'll watch my damned anime if I want! - Or 2.
Sunday, December 23, 2007
A Festival For The Rest of Us
This year, in addition to the present giving at Christmas, The HOchieS will be celebrating Festivus - A Festival For The Rest of Us.
One of the fine traditions of Festivus is the "Airing of Grievances". So as to not break tradition, let us begin taking issues with the lot of you.
Our grievances are as follows -
Beetchie
Your Watanuki-ing is terrible. As someone in servitude, you should be more servile.
Bughie J.
We have no grievances with you.
Frass
The grievances are endless. You are cut off. 2008 will be a Frassless year, much like 2007.
MC
Where to begin? The grievances are almost as endless as well but here are two to simmer over:
1. Your absence at Thanksgiving
2. Your mistreatment of Granny.
Pandy
There was a halushka incident. We shall say no more.
TD5
The grievances are almost as endless once more, the least of which is that you're going to find Jeebus instead of finding us.
X
Your drunkeness during that 3 week period back in October was unacceptable because drunk dialing might be fun for you but not for us so much. Also, please keep your Hooker behaviour under control at next year's holiday party.
Currently listening to: "Pregnant" by Cold War Kids
One of the fine traditions of Festivus is the "Airing of Grievances". So as to not break tradition, let us begin taking issues with the lot of you.
Our grievances are as follows -
Beetchie
Your Watanuki-ing is terrible. As someone in servitude, you should be more servile.
Bughie J.
We have no grievances with you.
Frass
The grievances are endless. You are cut off. 2008 will be a Frassless year, much like 2007.
MC
Where to begin? The grievances are almost as endless as well but here are two to simmer over:
1. Your absence at Thanksgiving
2. Your mistreatment of Granny.
Pandy
There was a halushka incident. We shall say no more.
TD5
The grievances are almost as endless once more, the least of which is that you're going to find Jeebus instead of finding us.
X
Your drunkeness during that 3 week period back in October was unacceptable because drunk dialing might be fun for you but not for us so much. Also, please keep your Hooker behaviour under control at next year's holiday party.
Currently listening to: "Pregnant" by Cold War Kids
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