Because Miracles Do Happen...

Is it any wonder that we actually remembered MC's birthday today?

Though it remains to be seen if we will actually call him because while we may remember this very second to post on the blog, we might not remember to call after the fact.

It's true, we might be mean to MC.

He would think less of us if we weren't though.

Happy Birthday, MC!

The Great 2011 Frenemies' Visit, Part III: Asshattery and Blokus

If there was one thing we did a lot of during Thanksgiving week, was play Blokus.  Budgie and Angelo introduced us to Blokus Jr. when they bought Boohead a copy of the game for his birthday.

We all were hooked on Blokus Jr. and after playing two players for a few days during the Frenemies' visit, Luuuuiiiisssss and everyone decided that a 10 p.m. run to Walmart was in order to get the full, adult version of Blokus.

The keyword here is that it was the 'adult' version.

The Great 2011 Frenemies' Visit, Part I: It's Love

Thanksgiving week seems as if it was ages ago.  We were fortunate to have some of the frenemies visit NYC that week and as per usual, it flew by.

It's awesome enough when frenemies hang out but it's twice as awesome when they bring you goodies and oh the goodies they brought.

A handful of tunnocks? Yes, please.

Reminder: Must go over there and eat last one before Luuuiiiissss gets to it.

A box full of fudge? Indeed.  And thanks.

Reminder: Inquire as to whereabouts of the fudge.

A plethora of multi-coloured and flavoured rums? Uh... yeah... why...not..?  Rum is always welcome.  The radioactive green one though? Huh.  It certainly makes my life (and cabinet) brighter!

And maybe my insides brighter too? Huh.

I Forgot

I forgot how hot Don Music was.  Check out the colour combination with the shirt, tie, pants and belt.  I also would not call him a hipster but rather a "tortured artist".

MC, this one is not for you because I don't understand why you would reject my Chiquita bananas that I hand-picked with love for you.



You are so ungrateful!

MC Week: Day 6

Happy Birthday, MC!!!!!!!!

We hope you enjoyed MC Week because truth be told, this is it.  MC Week is now officially closed even though it has not really been a week yet.  That's the kind of asshattery you expect from us, and why should we addle your brain with kindness now?

Lots of love,

The HOchieS

MC Week: Day 5

The HOchieS got a hold of a particular essay written by a certain MC, which you may find posted below (I also apologize in advance by the way it looks broken.  Will try to figure out what the problem is and fix):

Lessons I learned from Sesame Street

by MC

For decades, Cookie Monster, Grover, Oscar, Big Bird and the rest of the gang at Sesame

Street have been entertaining us while teaching us valuable lessons – lessons that go

beyond the obvious, Maths, English, Science and teamwork.

The lessons are not unique to the United States, nor do the characters take on special

significance based on that culture. Sesame Street could be found in almost every

community from Belmont to Barrackpore, Toco to Tabaquite.

There is always the village grouch whose job it is to quarrel with everyone and

everything. There is the village simpleton, whose sole job is to make everyone around

them look smart and then there are those who you are not quite sure of their purpose, but

their presence does lend to some good times.

I have learnt to be passionate about whatever or whoever I love from non other than,

Cookie Monster. Now one school of thought puts down his behaviour as nothing short of

greediness, however I do not think the intention was to teach young persons to overeat,

but rather to be voracious in whatever you do.

When Cookie Monster sees cookies, it’s as if he goes into a trance, with unwavering

focus on the task ahead of him. He attacks it and relishes it. So if you love, love with all

you have. If you like to write, play music, play football, maths, sewing, art, computer

technology, do it with gusto and unwavering passion. Don’t be daunted by the size of the

task or the amount of work ahead, if that is what you love, dig in and enjoy every last

crumb of it.

And what about The Count. He makes no qualms about it, when asked why he is called

The Count, he simply states, “they call me the count because I love to count things - ha

ha ha ha”. How many of us can boast with such confidence, the surety of our purpose, our

reason for being here. The Count does not meddle in the affairs of letters, signs or

symbols, his domain is numbers, and of that he is certain. I have learnt therefore that the

joy that allows for one to end his sentence with ha ha ha ha, could only come from a

having a deep, wonderful sense of purpose.

I have learnt about determination from Grover. No other character has held so many jobs.

From Superhero to waiter, messenger to door-to-door salesman, it is as if Grover has

done it all. He may not be good at any, however what a spirit he possesses!He keeps

searching and searching until he is able to find that calling. If he will ever find it remains

to be seen but he sure does try. He might annoy the hell out of everyone (I do feel sorry

for that man with the blue head), but Grover is never daunted by any task put before him.

And finally I have learnt that if all else fails look cute and ask a lot of questions like

Elmo. He is probably one of the most popular characters of all (to this day I don’t know

why) and it is all due to his childlike appreciation of the world around him.

I continue to enjoy Sesame Street and I look forward to many more years of learning.

This is MC Week and how could any MC Week be complete without a little stabbing in the back tough love? That's how you know we love you!


That said, I have studied this essay for months now and I am ready to write my informal responses to MC's work.


For reference, click here for a little background reading for your enlightenment, if I may.  It's important for later.

MC's opening paragraph is true for the most part.  However, I must disagree that Big Bird ever entertained anyone.

I digress and have not consulted with H1 but I'm certain she would have something along these lines to say regarding the Bird - "That was some serious acid trip he inflicted the Street with to have everyone believe that Snuff was real.  To this day I am unsure how he managed to even fool the viewers.  As H1 will tell you, there's no such thing as a Woolly Mammoth which "Snuffy" appeared to be.  These creatures are clearly a figment of everyone's imagination and the recent talk of scientists trying to clone the mythical beast are stories founded in gibberish."

Second paragraph review... and perhaps this is not something I should dispute being displaced, but are you sure Barrackpore is a real place? Sounds like somewhere a "Snuffy" might live.  With the Internet at my disposal, I googled and will not doubt your geography.  The Internet never lies even though I find it highly suspicious that Barrackpore is 1.1 miles away from Monkey Town.  Who names these places? Oh.  Wait.  It's in South, isn't it? Well, never you mind then.  Point taken.

Paragraph Three I find very interesting and yet so insulting to Frass.  You know he likened most to Telly as his Sesame Street character.  How could just blaze him like that? The Village Simpleton? You are unkind, MC.  I find it quite shocking, actually.

Your Cookie Monster review is charming.  I mean, he was a blasted greedy smurf but I think you may have misunderstood slightly, exactly what he was passionate about.  He was passionate about his greediness.  The same may be said of X, honestly but we're not here to point any fingers. 

Ah yes, The Count.  He loves to count things, that is true.  His confidence is quite stunning but while he may not mince words, (signs, letters or symbols), he certainly dabbles in laughing, lightning, and batty bats.  The last bit is just crude and you know it.  The laughing wasn't a sense of purpose, it was actually the musings of a creepy old man.

Your Grover bias is sickening.  Please stop.

Finally, I put so much stock into the messages of your essay but then you rendered all your arguments mute by your closing paragraph.  You damn well know that Elmo is anything but cute and the only reason why he is popular is due to the fact that it's some sort of devilry on his part.  Evil incarnate, yes.  Cute? Hardly.  Telling tales does not look good on you, MC.  Stop the lies now!

So, that's what I have to say on MC's essay.  Do any of you have any sort of rebuttals for him? For me? Feel free to defend your arguments in the comments below.

MC Week: Day 4

MC broke the hairy news last week... Little Miss Plant has become a statistic.  A victim of bad fruit influence, and a neglectful father - LMP is now a Runaway.

Or is that really the truth?

This was the sight on that fateful morning when MC awoke.

"Slient mourning" - caption by MC

The good fruit were already mourning her loss by the time MC got there, and they were standing vigil around the empty spot on the counter where she once resided.

Noticeably absent were the bad bananas were that were hanging around her for weeks.

It was later that day he discovered the shocking truth.

~WARNING! Graphic Picture Ahead ~

Murdered, and tossed with the egg shells.

There in the garbage, face down and blending in with some broken eggs, lay the Little girl.

It was a sad day.

And you best be certain that Nancy Grace will hear of this.

MC Week: Day 3

H1 and I were looking for "No News Today" but could not find it.  The point is, we have no news today on MC, so instead enjoy the collection of videos.

Oh wait, here we go.  First four seconds in and then watch the rest of it too.  It's all worth it.

MC Week: Day 2

I wonder if MC will be surprised by his surprises?

No surprise there.  Or is it?

Curious.

Curiouser.

And curiouser!

MC Week

H1 and I are declaring this "MC Week" here at The HOchieS' blog.
This week, expect to find stories all dedicated to MC.

Stay tuned...

About To Book Some Tickets

I received an alarming update from MC this morning regarding the status of the child:

"Mama has stopped feeding her and last night there was talk that she would not be joining us at our new house. This morning we woke up to this. I think she has gone mad "

H1 and I will be on the next flight to save her.

Stepping In

Last Christmas, we gifted Kimpossible and MC a friend.

At the early stages of her life, she was one fabulous little child.

Adorable, don't you think?

Both style and attitude with those piercing, lovely green eyes - it was clear to The HOchieS that Miss Ultra-Fab was destined for greatness.

Some weeks went by with no word on how the child was doing but sure enough, doting daddy MC sent a picture update along.

H1 insisted that the child's hair needing cutting.  I was initially unimpressed by the high top fade, citing parental abuse - who in their right mind wants their child to be looking like a by-product of the 80's? I mean, seriously...at least, you could do a braid or get her some jellies.  SOMETHING!

But you know, reflecting on this picture now, it's just all part of the super style this child obviously continues to have.

I mean, she made friends with an orange, as you can clearly see.

She's a popular one, that.

Obviously, when you got it, you got it.  And when you got it, you have to accessorize who your friends are.

Clearly that orange does not look like much now, but wait until you see it dolled up.



More weeks passed by and finally a new update came, with an alarming message.  Kimpossible was speaking the impossible - she wanted to throw the child away.

MC, caring father that he is, saved his child from certain doom i.e. the rubbish.

Though, I have to question, what sort of parent he truly is if he sits idly by and takes pictures of the child instead of properly maintaining her hair before snapping photos.

Of course the world needs to see such class but first, this child demands a stylist.

I mean, okay.  It's a pretty cute style.

But I think we're all missing the point here.  H1 and I are going to step in and re-claim the kid because this talk of garbage throwing is very disturbing.

Granted, I do not know how much longer the world can handle the hotness and it may very well be her time to bring that shine some place else but still...

She still looks as though she can do tons of damage here.

Her glory days are not over!

A Toy Story About MC

This day, I made a revelation about MC.

Before I begin, I would like everyone to get a tissue in hand because this one is going to be a tear-jerker.  Of course, if you are a bastard then you might want to get a tissue to wipe up the spit from your computer screens from laughter.

It has come to my attention in recent months that MC hates the Toy Story series.

It baffled all as to how one person could dislike that series but I have finally figured it out.  The clues were in a bit of childhood history of MC's that some may not have known.

As a child, MC did not know he had a Birthday.  He did not know what a birthday was or what day that would be or anything of the sort.  It's a weird story but then, I surmise his Granny was somehow behind that sad, unbelievable tale.

The facts above led me to the conclusion that since he did not know about birthdays, he obviously did not have parties and perhaps, he did not get presents and more specifically, toys.

Having only been told on his 10th birthday at which point he probably no longer cared or believed such things existed, MC probably never had a toy to love.

Using my "B-" Logic assessment, we can conclude that MC has no heart or at the very least never had one to love a plastic or plush friend, hence the reason he cannot associate emotions with the Toy Story series.

I can also say that I spoke about my theory with MC today and he has confirmed that what I say is true.

Happy Anniversary...!

...one day late, MC and KImpossible!

I was supposed to go on here yesterday and do this but the L&O: SVU Killer Co-Ed Marathon sucked me in.

Sorry.

Happy Birthday, MC!

I tried very hard to find a way to conveniently forget but alas, I remembered clear as day.  We both did, so I guess for once you get a true and proper birthday greeting on the blog!

Ah, well there's always next year I guess for some forgetting.  Ha.

Hope you had a great day!
We were sad to hear that you had a Wendy's lunch though.  =(  We at least hope it was good.

Blog-away V

As if you could not guess, H1 and I have decided to post the winners list after the Competition is over.

Also, TD5 if you're reading this, I know you're in Carnival mode and all but you're keeling us here with your lack of comments.

Now for the next round!

Can I just say that I have a plethora of pics of MC that I could use but this is one none of you may have seen...

Funny

Now for another nerd rant by Or 2.

I do not know if I said this before but "Psycho Killer" by Talking Heads is Zarnyx's theme song in Rock Band 2.

Being the lead singer for The Oxtails (yes, it's really supposed to be Sariel, I know), and on solo tour with Zarnyx means it is not often I put him on any other instrument.

This weekend with Sexual Chocolate (MC is delusional and quite skeevy with his 'well-placed' shark - ::shudder::) and Sports Bra (hilarious!) filling in as guest artists in Zarnyx's band, I relegated Zarnyx to guitarist.

I would just like to say that

1. Zarnyx looks incredibly great holding a guitar.

2. I'm debating whether or not to spend a good chunk of my $85,000 on a really expensive guitar for him (MC, I did not steal your gig money. I maintain that I have been touring solo for quite the while and I am rich for my awesomeness - hahahaha. Beetchie? Don't judge me and don't hate because I gots cash for hideous goat head guitars)

3. I am convinced that the Rock Band characters have 'personalities' and that each one has a song they go extra nuts on. I discovered that not only does Zarnyx go insane when singing "Psycho Killer" but he goes crazy while on guitar on that song too. It's seriously funny and seriously scary at the same time.

We're still trying to figure out what G.'s theme song is. I hope it's a Maiden song. That just seems right.

Currently: burnt out from September and not even half the month has gone by yet. Yeesh. I'd say it's my own fault but that wouldn't really be true, would it?

We Write Well

An "A" in GP but not so much in Geography.

"F" is reserved for that.

If you're MC.

He also got an "O" in A Levels.

An "O" is an "O Level" grade but not "A Level".

Who knew?

You learn new things every day when MC's around, apparently.

Memorable Quotes of the Day:

"An 'F' and an 'O'. Wow." - MC.

"MC got an "OF"!!" - H1.

"I've never heard of anyone getting an "F" before!" - H1.

DJ SoB

With the new DJ Hero video game coming out, it reminded me that I had a conversation with our very own MC earlier this year about choosing a DJ name for himself.

Some things, especially when they involve MC, should not be kept to myself.

I apologise to all in advance.

Or 2: Ahoy hoy
MC: Greetings. Happy Spiritual Baptist Day.
Or 2: Oh. You have another unwarranted day off today, do you. Stupid island. Happy SBD to you as well.
MC: Unwarranted?
Or 2: Whatever. Is there is a Chinese arrival day?
MC: Excuse me. We work hard for our holidays,
Or 2: what? you baptist?
MC: They didn't want one. Stupid Chinese
Or 2: because they understand the value of work! no work means no money!
MC: We could have had another holiday, but nooo they want to keep their damn parlors and grocery stores open. btw I found my DJ name. DJ BroHo
Or 2: BroHo? you're not a Ho
MC: CLee came up with the name
Or 2: Clee needs a slap
MC: But I'm a Brotha to the Hos, As such. I am DJ Bro HO
Or 2: there are honourary hos that is sure, but you may have become dishonourable as of late
MC: Whatever, you have no rights over the Ho name
Or 2: excuse me
MC: I shall be from this day forth be known as
DJ
Bro
Ho
Or 2: How about..DJ Stoopid? har har. DJ BH. DJ BM
MC: BM?
Or 2: for Brother Mitch
MC: ooohhhh I likes even better although its Brotha. Hopefully people don't think its stands for bowel movement and think I'm full of it
Or 2: sorry, Brotha' Mitch. That's exactly what I was thinking
MC: I know. Beeyatch
Or 2: MC BroHo. MC BAM! Brotha Andy Mitch. MC BRAM. DJ BAM, sorry
MC: DJ Bram. DJ Bam. I am loving this. Screw BroHo. DJ Bramalam. Lambam. DJ BLAM
Or 2: DJ Bram. Bramalam? you trying to reach out to our indian bros and hos? in an insulting way?
MC: No. Why would I want to reach out to them. har. DJ Bra
Or 2: DJ Bra. yeah, that could work too. kind of liking DJ Bram though. You know, having only recently found out what that is
MC: nahhh. Oh my word. So displaced are you and that is such a common Jamaican term. I would think you'd be up on it
Or 2: what? i don't know what you're talking about. i know nothing of Jamaicans. we could name you after food. Drop the DJ. be just Solo Bentley
MC: hahahahahaha. DJ Solo. Solo B
Or 2: DJ SoB
MC: oohh goosh. yeah yeah. SoB
Or 2: SoB in da' hous'! yeah
MC: yeaaaahhhhh. in da hizzle
Or 2: har har. and years after you've made your career as DJ SoB, and the fanfare is dying down; I'll circulate the true story behind the name. Named after Solo Bentley. not really hardcore, hence the fizzling out fate
MC: ahahahaha. A VH1 special no less
Or 2: yep, the corniest behind the music eva'. if Frass became one, he'd be DJ Zoomers
MC: ahahaha. He'd never make it with that name
Or 2: I'd be DJ Milk Penna Cool. i know, poor Frass. CLee would be DJ Zinger.
MC: Milk Penna Cool???? You too would crash and burn. rather melt
Or 2: I'd shorten it and switch it up. DJ Penny Milk.
Or 2: How about Milky Cool
Or 2: hmm, yeah yeah
MC: Or DJ Cool Milky P
Or 2: X.. hmm, DJ NibaNug
MC: or Milp
Or 2: ew
MC: What is that? ahahahahahaha
Or 2: nibble a nuggle
MC: I'm now rereading. Yeah Milky Pee not so much
Or 2: aha, yeah that's greatness but gross. DJ Nuggle - nibbling up the rhymes and spittin' them right back at ya. That'd be X's slogan
MC: Oh no. I like X's slogan though. funny as all hell. What will be H1's name? DJ Toolum
Or 2: oo, you asking to get hurt
MC: ahahaha
Or 2: DJ Soursop
MC: Ughh. That party will buss
Or 2: how come nobody's DJ Doubles
MC: or DJ Aloo
Or 2: yeah that too. X could be that as well. DJ Aloo. Maybe TD5? DJ Chicky Pea! DJ Channa

Threat? No. Deserved Payback.

As Frass as my witness, let it be known that you owe me, MC.

Truly, you owe us both but this right here is my demand, and I'm ready to collect.

You owe me - one concert.

While you may have paid (with money) for our terrible experience at Matisyahu, that type of trauma can never be forgiven but only repaid.

An eye for an eye, I believe it's called.

Make sure you plan to be in NYC on August 22nd.

Because we're going to see Nine Inch Nails.

Now let me remind you that due to your wedding, I missed out seeing them and cursed you plenty.

You probably couldn't hear me because you were too focused on trying to not cry during your ceremony... Bad Man that you are and all.

But don't let me curse you again.

This is the last time I'll be able to see them and your last chance at not being the designated Number 1 spot on the 2009 Airing of Grievances List because it is not looking too good for you again this year.

Currently listening to: "Right Where It Belongs" by Nine Inch Nails.