Our Soap Opera Identities Revealed

H1 found a fabulous little Soap Opera name generator today which you can find right here.

Being the idle, young and restless fools that we are, we went ahead and did a name generator for each of our frenemies.

Some of these are quite the fantastic little things and already thoughts of the days of our lives are swirling in my head and I can imagine the dramas I need to start writing for everyone.

We do note that some of you have been coming up with different name generators for whatever reason but these are the ones we came up with today and so, feel free to write your own little stories or add to them if you would like.

That said, here are our Soap Opera identities starring:

H1 as Tatiana Strange.  H1 and I are not related...at least, we don't know much about our ties yet.  Troubles a-brewing and I think Tatiana's baby sister may have "drowned" in an unfortunate Christening event.  Tatiana thought she was giving me a little bath but little does she know...

Or 2 as Cally Marcoux.  That it was a fake drowning and I was raised by a French mother and father.  I am a French bitch now.  Obsessed with revenge.  And deathly afraid of water.  Showering is quite the task for me.

MC as Augustus Bledsoe.  Our resident Token who is also the resident "bad man".  In the man ho sense of course.  The actual evil character role has already been fulfilled by none other than....

TD5 as Dr. Hugo Hemmingway.  Writer and Doctor! He's mysterious and evil for reasons yet to come to light.  There's a serious malpractice suit forthcoming when Dr. Hemingway botches the plastic surgery of one of the cast regulars leading her to have a severe case of Dissociative Identity Disorder...

X as strong-willed Audrey Lionheart (hair as black as night and piercing eyes) and Rosebud Rossignol (red fiery hair and some crazy eyes), Psycho Killer Extraordinaire.  Has had affairs with many residents of our little drama as Rosebud and rules with an iron fist as Audrey (well-respected though, go figure?).  Rosebud has recently taken Town Clown as hostage for toppling over a piece of glorious lemon meringue pie she had been eating.  Poor, poor...

Frass as Bo Tebowing.  It's okay, Bo Tebowing...like Token we need a Town Clown around.  There's only one of you and you are irreplaceable.  You'll be fine but next time, don't mess with the pie.

Bughie as Michel Whyland.  Resident policeman.  Whyland, get it? You have to play the cop.  You do a better job than Officer Barbrady, I can assure you but not such good a job that you can stop my vengeance plans or get Bo Tebowing from get a slap across the face from Rosebud.

Finally, we have our very own resident Brad Carlton who discovers later on in life that she is actually Jewish.

Beetchie as Vanita Schwartzman.  Make what you will of that.

Currently watching: Wallander.  My poor little Magnus is always getting yelled at.

The Christmas (Present List) Fraught With Extermination and Danger

Some how, this Christmas saw a bunch of Daleks invade the HOchie household.

One Dalek can destroy an entire city so imagine what these three will do!!!!

Merry Christmas, Everyone!

The Christmas Monkey is off boozing it up with some ponche-de-creme made fresh by Papa HOchie and vows to return some time this week to dole out New Year's Resolutions to you guys.

In his absence, The HOchieS are taking the opportunity to wish all our frenemies and everyone a very Merry Christmas!

We hope St. Nick's Express delivered all the toys, joy, best wishes and the presents Kyle, the presents...to your homes.

We will post the Presento-Pyo List later today once we open ours.

Momma HOchie is working today and will wait for her to return before busting open the good times.

Lots of love and Merry Ithmus!

The HOchieS.

The Airing of Grievances 2011

'Tis the moment you have all been waiting for!

The Christmas Monkey with the all seeing gangsta eyes has come to deliver the news...

The crystal ball does not lie

The Great 2011 Frenemies' Visit, Part III: Asshattery and Blokus

If there was one thing we did a lot of during Thanksgiving week, was play Blokus.  Budgie and Angelo introduced us to Blokus Jr. when they bought Boohead a copy of the game for his birthday.

We all were hooked on Blokus Jr. and after playing two players for a few days during the Frenemies' visit, Luuuuiiiisssss and everyone decided that a 10 p.m. run to Walmart was in order to get the full, adult version of Blokus.

The keyword here is that it was the 'adult' version.

The Great 2011 Frenemies' Visit, Part I: It's Love

Thanksgiving week seems as if it was ages ago.  We were fortunate to have some of the frenemies visit NYC that week and as per usual, it flew by.

It's awesome enough when frenemies hang out but it's twice as awesome when they bring you goodies and oh the goodies they brought.

A handful of tunnocks? Yes, please.

Reminder: Must go over there and eat last one before Luuuiiiissss gets to it.

A box full of fudge? Indeed.  And thanks.

Reminder: Inquire as to whereabouts of the fudge.

A plethora of multi-coloured and flavoured rums? Uh... yeah... why...not..?  Rum is always welcome.  The radioactive green one though? Huh.  It certainly makes my life (and cabinet) brighter!

And maybe my insides brighter too? Huh.

Christmas List

Maybe it's due to the fact that I am home sick today and at the mercy of Momma HOchie's tv viewing habits that include a lot of Fall cooking shows and Christmas adverts at every chance but I am getting a tad excited for the Christmas season.

Perhaps it's the knowing that in a month from today I will be one day closer to some days off and fun times with  frenemies for Thanksgiving.

Or maybe this is just how I am.  I'm always thinking of the presents, Kyle, the presents.

I've also been thinking about the menu for Thanksgiving and what sort of treats to make this year for friends at work.  Any suggestions? I have the cutest little tins in which to house them.

Anyway, this list is not for you to see! It's for me to remember where I am at with shopping for pyos.  Why am I making public then? I am a Contrary Mary.

1. Momma Hochie - a stocking stuffer has been purchased.

2. H1 - Done

3. Luuuiiisssss - Done

4. BooHead - Done

5. A'Face - Done

6. MC - Done

7. Beetchie - Done (and birthday too, bwahaha)

That's 7 people out of 14? 15? 16? Not bad, I guess....

I have to fix up my wish list though I think I might just need amazon gift certificates for Christmas.  All my games are coming out next year.  So sad.

The Birthday Pyos List

As promised to Frass, here is the birthday presento-pyos and wishes list.

You guys were pretty good this year! I didn't have to add anyone to the grievance list for forgetting my birthday but I suspect that was thanks in part to H1's FB wishes.  The only person who neglected to wish me a Happy Birthday was TD5 but being that he is away in Europe, I suppose he can be forgiven.  What he cannot be forgiven for is the fact that I e-mailed him (albeit a bastardly request for Jammie D.'s) and he has not responded even though I know he was on FB.  Someone wants top spot on the grievance list it seems.

That aside, here is the present list for both H1 and myself for 2011.  Thanks again to everyone! You guys are the best.

About To Book Some Tickets

I received an alarming update from MC this morning regarding the status of the child:

"Mama has stopped feeding her and last night there was talk that she would not be joining us at our new house. This morning we woke up to this. I think she has gone mad "

H1 and I will be on the next flight to save her.

Stepping In

Last Christmas, we gifted Kimpossible and MC a friend.

At the early stages of her life, she was one fabulous little child.

Adorable, don't you think?

Both style and attitude with those piercing, lovely green eyes - it was clear to The HOchieS that Miss Ultra-Fab was destined for greatness.

Some weeks went by with no word on how the child was doing but sure enough, doting daddy MC sent a picture update along.

H1 insisted that the child's hair needing cutting.  I was initially unimpressed by the high top fade, citing parental abuse - who in their right mind wants their child to be looking like a by-product of the 80's? I mean, seriously...at least, you could do a braid or get her some jellies.  SOMETHING!

But you know, reflecting on this picture now, it's just all part of the super style this child obviously continues to have.

I mean, she made friends with an orange, as you can clearly see.

She's a popular one, that.

Obviously, when you got it, you got it.  And when you got it, you have to accessorize who your friends are.

Clearly that orange does not look like much now, but wait until you see it dolled up.



More weeks passed by and finally a new update came, with an alarming message.  Kimpossible was speaking the impossible - she wanted to throw the child away.

MC, caring father that he is, saved his child from certain doom i.e. the rubbish.

Though, I have to question, what sort of parent he truly is if he sits idly by and takes pictures of the child instead of properly maintaining her hair before snapping photos.

Of course the world needs to see such class but first, this child demands a stylist.

I mean, okay.  It's a pretty cute style.

But I think we're all missing the point here.  H1 and I are going to step in and re-claim the kid because this talk of garbage throwing is very disturbing.

Granted, I do not know how much longer the world can handle the hotness and it may very well be her time to bring that shine some place else but still...

She still looks as though she can do tons of damage here.

Her glory days are not over!

Rabbit, Rabbit, Rabbit. Hare, Hare, Hare.

We've already come to the last month of 2010.  How did this happen? I know, it's called "Time" but it sure seemed to have gone by really quickly this year.

Good luck to everyone this month.  I hope it's wonderful for all, as The HOchieS start getting really, really busy.

This month, I want to give a special bit of luck to our Clownie over there in Edinborough.

We're sending you some good luck, Japanese style!

Our H & O Songs

H1 has been listening to Pandora as of late.

For those who may not know, Pandora's the music streaming program that suggests similar artists and songs based on whatever band you initially decide to listen to.

She went through many bands and 'baleeted' many upon Pandora's suggestion.

Curious to find other bands to listen to, I suggested everyone's favourite - Hall & Oates (yep, not just mine).

As the first song came up, X, H1 and I realised that we could probably find every frenemies' appropriate H & O song that matched their personality.

Here's what we came up with:

MC - "I Can't Go For That (No Can Do)"
TD5 - "Kiss on My List"
Frass - "Private Eyes"
X - "Rich Girl"
H1 - "Maneater"
Or 2 - "Out of Touch"

Blog-away: WINNERS!!!!!!!!

You guys are all winners to us, except today of course because it's VD.

But you all are winners in the Blog Competition!

Blog-away I: TD5 at Spamalot on Broadway

• Winner: BEETCHIE's "...yes, I believe that he did just fart in our general direction..."

Blog-away II: CLee and Salt & Vinegar Pringles

• Winner: MC's Looking back, our protagonist realised that the pringle wasn't the only special looking yellow thing in the room.

Blog-away III: X Marches

• Winner: FRASS' "Where will YOU be when your diarrhea kicks in?"

Blog-away IV: Frass and Lettuce at Pongsri

• Winner: CLEE's "really?? that's all the brains that I has.."

Blog-away V: MC Waits to Buy a Wii

• Winner: GEN'FRIEN' wins by default.  H1 would have won it otherwise but she is ineligible

Blog-away VI:  Beetchie, Or 2, Squid and Shark

• Winner: TD5's "The unaired in the US, Japanese Ad for "Shark Fin Soup" "

Blog-away VII: H1 the Chameleon

• Winner: BUGHIE J.'s Despite appearances in several 'B' style sci-fi and horror flicks, the Gorn never quite recaptured the success of his epic battle with Captain Kirk. So what's he up to these days? Aside from occasional appearances at Star Trek conventions, the Gorn runs a modestly popular webblog called "Let By-Gorns be By-Gorns: Yes I Really Do Love William Shatner;" hosts a monthly public access home & garden show called "Good Gorn Gardening;" and enjoys an otherwise quiet suburban existence with his I'k'GhekKkt'lor, a human female, and two-dozen Gornlings from a previous marriage to an Andorian asteroid mining mogul.

Blog-away VIII: Beetchie and Godzilla invade Tokyo

• Winner: X's "Damn this stupid human exhibit! I can't find this freaky lookin' thing in my program!" (not by default, X.  That was pretty good).

I'm sure you are all probably wondering what your presents are going to be but you will have to wonder a little bit longer.

We ordered them today and will surprise you when we receive them.

Thanks for participating all!

We had lots of fun with this and maybe we can do it again sometime.

HVD 2010

We would say that for the majority of the year, The HOchieS are awfully kind to our frenemies.

We have decided that this Valentine's Day, we will spread a little bit of dislike to you guys instead because you probably deserve it.

Rubbish Commercialized Day to you all!

Yours Always except on VD and Festivus,

The HOchieS.

Blog-away IV

The fourth in our "Caption this Picture" competition is one you all may need some time to ponder over.

Blog-away II

Hello Frenemies!

I have a bit of an update on the Round I activities.

So far, I thank those of you who have commented - they're all really fabulous and have H1 and I rolling around with laughter.

There are '4' more people left to comment but Gen'Frien' informed me that she's not really funny and I informed her that that's due to the fact that she's not a hateful biatch like the rest of us.
Then I was told by X today that after Beetchie's comment, she was not sure she could compete this round.
 

Being the clever bunch that you are, I logged in this evening to find two more great ones and now H1 and I are having a difficult time choosing a winner of that lot and goodness knows what's going to happen when Frass and MC have a crack at it...IF they have a crack at it.

It's Day II of the Blog-away but I am having a hard time choosing the next photo for one particular reason.
 
As you all know, The HOchieS are not really fans of putting ourselves or our friends out there on the internet in pictures.  However, some of the photos are just nothing without the expression on your faces.  I can draw bao heads to capture the moment but my drawings are terrible and more than likely will not do most of those things justice.
 
So, I have a proposal.
 
I am going to post the original pictures behind a cut.  If you want your pic. removed immediately just let me know and I will do so and I'll e-mail the pic. to the group instead.

 

Please know too that I will never keep the picture in its original form forever on the blog and will alter it at some point soon after your entries are in.

 

That said, click the link to see Round II's Caption This Picture Contest (and I'm posting it a bit earlier before everyone has commented on the last because X will be on a business trip for the next week and wanted a shot in this Round).

My apologies to CLee in advance...

 

Blog-away I

Wouldn't you know it?

This right here is the 1000th 1 or 2 HOchieS blog post.

To celebrate this day of millions of characters typed, 999 + stories told and memories shared with all of you frenemies...H1 and I have decided to do a little Giveaway.

Think of it as pyos to you for pyos to us - for all your hilarious comments to the snarky ones or to the times you glossed over (mostly my) ramblings.

Of course, we racked our brain to come up with some sort of blog-centric quiz because why would we just give you guys things without making it interesting?

Now, I can't say my solution is interesting but it'll be as fun as you guys make it.

For 8 future blog posts with this one included, I borrowed a little daily exercise from one of our favourite bloggers.  Ours may not be as gross as his but we're going to present to you a picture in a "Caption This Picture Contest".

I'll post a picture and in the comments section leave your caption to match.

The funniest one as voted by H1 and I will get a prize!

Of course, since we love all 8 of our trusted frenemies who participate actively on here (I luz you others too, I do!), we have decided to do 8 blogs of giveaways. 

The person who wins day 1, is free to enter a comment on any other day if so compelled but even though you may have a killer caption again - we'll pick the 2nd best to win on day 2 and so on and so forth until each person gets a prize.  Makes sense?

Okay... let's begin!

DAY 1: Caption this Picture

The Airing of Grievances 2009

My anger is fierce.

1. Chase and Amazon.  If Chase didn't eff me over big time this year, I could have had a billion gift certificates from Amazon by now!

2. X -  This grievance is for you and you alone so stop your bitchin'.  Prezzies from Japan while welcome become null and void if they are bought to distract.  Don't forget that I cannot be bribed! Because I will take your 'bribery' and STILL I will remember your misgivings.  Don't think I forgot that you left us for Bim this year!

3. Bunji - What the heck? You come live with us for a few, make me stay up way late on work days, had me playing Resident Evil 5 until 2 a.m. and then you go to N.C. to live? At least it wasn't Arizona or out nyo again, and since N.C. is like Westchester, then that is the only thing securing your place after X and not before.

4. Beetchie - I accept that you needed to move from the island.  It's great that you did because it needed to be done.  But there was no reason to go to Oregon and begin the Hippy process.  Getting an iphone did not do you any favours either because your smug is overwhelming.
Also, stop ditching us for booty.  Pretty soon, we won't feed you if you come around.

5. MC! Wow, last year you were number 1 and this year...look! Number 4! And no, I'm not incorrect in my count.  This year, you went ahead and got married which is fine but you only introduced us to Kimpossible the night before the wedding.  Wha'?! And you didn't feed us! And on top of that, you made this Ho take in sun not only in Trinidad but Tobago too? You know, I was proud to be displaced - I was the only Trini to never have been to Tobago and now my displacement is in ruins.  Thanks, thanks a lot.

6. Frass - you weren't really bad per say this year.  You didn't feed us like you did last year but you're forgiven being that you had to get a new job and all.  You did bring us alcohol which is becoming a frequent event that we enjoy.  However, you did sleep through Black Friday plans again.  Should we just come to an understanding that we shouldn't make plans that day?  Afterall, I probably cannot support both you and my Amazon addictions on that day.

7. TD5 - Hmmm...you are only on this list for getting "505" before H1.  Other than that, you were awesome for coming in August and sharing great times with me.  We saw YYY together, got sick (or rather I got sick), braved assland NJ and almost got struck by lightning.  Oh! and we shared a new GCS tradition of eating ice-cream on the train after a concert.  And Arctic Monkeys was great.  You almost made the top of the list for inviting people to eat my stuffing but as it turns out, we like them a lot so you are spared.  We heart you.

8. Bughie J. - Bread? Greatness.  Brownies? Extra Greatness.  Not enough brownies? Grievance list for you.  It's not your fault that there was a Beetchie, Bunji and Bo Brownies incident but if we had TWO batches, I'd not be crying now! Thanks for our treats!

9. Clee - threatening us with 1 week MAYBE of visits next year is like slapping us in the face! What happened to our 5 weeks?! Okay, we understand why no 5 week sand we can't wait to watch Toy Story 3 with you.  But please, keep your smuggery at home.

10. Gen' Frien' - No grievances against you.  I just didn't want you to feel left out.

11. Anj. - no grievances against you either - I just wanted to make sure you were paying attention.  Are you?

Happy Festivus, All Frenemies!

Treat Box Check List

It's December 1st, which means lists upon lists are upcoming.  I am not certain I am fully prepared for that and oo! that reminds me that I probably only have 7 days to finish Final Fantasy Tactics, huh? Well, THAT'S not going to happen with my poor, but-much-improved skills.  Oh 1998, I remember the slaughter...

The Pyo List is looking pretty good (my monies and I have been parting ways thanks to my obsession with Amazon...yeesh.).

And the Treat Boxes are going to be made soon.  What'll be inside and who's geting one?

Almost, August.

In the history of August and everything therein, this one almost turned out to be a good month.

Almost.

For a while there, it seemed like things were just falling into place.

I ended July right with free passes to APW and started August in Midtown with TD5 and H1 at dim sum in Chinatown, pate from the Grand Central Market and I even went to fix my glasses on Sunday finally.

We took TD5 to Shake Shack on Monday, which he enjoyed and I tasted a Purple Cow, which I loved (but Aims, it was Boobey Head who ordered it! I wouldn't drink that without you!).

Arctic Monkeys, while disappointing H1 and Beetchie could not attend, were amazing and eating a king cone and sharing ice-cream and memories, stumbling home at 2 AM on Tuesday was fun thanks to the company.

Tuesday we all had dinner together at Connolly's Restaurant and Bar (even though the food was just sadly just 'okay' after H1 and Or 2's great take out meals from there), Beetchie got the great news and we wish her all the best with her transfer to OSU and while sad, we saw TD5 off knowing he'd be back in November and that's not far away.

But then things went awry.

The other awesome bit of news we got was that H1 got invited to see U2 on August 15th at Wembley Stadium. Although H1 could not go due to work and recent unfortunate events involving Luuuuuiiisssss, I then got the invitation. Now, as horrible as U2's current album is, seeing them at Wembley Stadium would be amazing regardless. But seeing them at Wembley Stadium on VIP Hospitality passes would be even more hella awesome and a chance of a lifetime really.

I was seriously considering shelling the huge amounts of cash for this opportunity and was all prepared to jet set to the U.K. for the weekend but the invitation fell through due to work politics circumstances, and while I no longer have to worry about finding a plane ticket or the guilt that comes with spending so much money on an unnecessary purchase (that's right! It's NOT bread, water, toilet paper, Muse and/or Arctic Monkeys!), the chance to be an ass in VIP just went 'poof!' right outta my grasp.

Ah well. I'm doing okay with that.

The second horrid bit of HOchieS goings on is this - H1 sprained her ankle! She had a bit of a twist of the foot a few mornings ago, and yesterday, thanks to Luuuuuiiisssss' 'need' for a Nathan's hot dog, she took a bit of a twisted dive between curb and truck and ended up in the E.R.

We're thankful it's not broken but she still is a bit of a gimp, poor thing. I just hope Mario Cantone did not make fun of her at his stand up show.

The third reason that August remains the assiest of months is this - I'm sitting here typing all this out on a rainy Sunday afternoon, not looking forward to going to work tomorrow due to a touch of the cold I have developed.

I'm actually surprised I did not get one sooner than Thursday (it's been since Thursday, yeah) knowing fully well that I've been running myself down for almost 2 weeks now, granted these 2 weeks have been more fun than not.

Blast you, August. Blast you.

You've 22 days to make amends.

Currently listening to: "The Frail" by Nine Inch Nails. How stupidly appropriate for The HOchieS this day.