Mother-Snobs

Hochie 1 ... or 2 signing in and VERY cranky.

This is not a good day for me. The train was making weird grating sounds so I had to use my ipod and since the Audioslave concert is in a few days, I just made a playlist of the 14 songs that I have on there and listened to that. And of course, all the songs that I really know and can sing along to are not on their set list or so I have been told.

Anyway, there was this woman with her baby on the train. The baby is probably a little over a year old and she is cute with her dark brown curls and big Irish eyes and she loves the sound of her vocals. The mom was trying to get her to fuss less by doing some weird thing with her hand that I could not quite understand since it started off as a flying motion and then a pinch on the baby's nose followed by a turn towards a wall and a bang of the fist thereupon. Strange. Exactly repeated though so it is some ritual. Now this woman walks around the train with her child just to keep her quiet I suppose and now that the baby is learning to walk, the mother sets her down and guides her through aisle between the seats. I constantly find myself hoping that the train does not have to break suddenly resulting in flying baby and mother. This mother is mindful of her baby's squalling and will try to reduce it for the sake of other passengers or to reduce embarrassment to herself, whatever the reason I am grateful for the courtesy. This woman in question is obviously proud of her baby as she should be and thankfully has not shown herself to be guilty of that disgusting type of motherhood for which I am compelled to blog.

Now, there are women (and men) who walk around with a God-complex as they push their oversized strollers around with their bundle(s) of DNA ensconced within. These people expect the non-reproducing population to jump out of the way when their golden carriages appear and We, the Unblessed, really have to scurry out of the way quickly or risk the bruised limbs or severed appendages that may be lost to a SUV Stroller that will barrel down on us with no second thought... or even a thought for that matter. I recently went to a Halloween event where there were hundreds of people and, being Halloween, hundreds of kids. There were as many strollers as there were vehicles. It was really a scary place. I mean, I was scared before I even got into the event but I digress. So, there I am standing in line with the other members of my party, not a child amongst my group when I narrowly miss being rammed into by a woman pushing a stroller that was almost as tall as she. I move aside with ample dexterity and look at the woman, expecting an apology (Stupid me) - this MOTHER looks at me with this haughty expression on her face as if I have wronged her by placing myself between her husband and child since the offspring was being carried in the father's arms paces ahead. She glared at me and pushed ahead. I WAS IN LINE!!! She was coming out of nowhere!!! If there weren't so many kids around I would have let a nasty word fly but then my own mother might have not stared at me so lovingly.

I am constantly meeting women who have no other interest but their own children. They also pretend to love children when, with little effort, you discover that they really only love their own. That brings me to another woman on the train who is always pushing her way forward to ensure that she gets a seat on the train. My observations led me to formulate that she thought she was superior to a lot of other people on the train. It was just something about how she carried herself, how she never made eye contact except to icily stare at anyone who got a sit she wanted, her whispered remarks and then sly laugh. I actually developed an aversion to this woman just by seeing her. Then one day, I realized she was with child! I was absolutely horrified and yet fascinated. She began to glow but not in the way that people often describe. It was almost a kryptonian aura and her lips would curl in smugness and I could just see her on the platform, now expecting that she would have to get on the train and sit where she wanted because, Peasants, SHE WAS PROGENITOR! A few months into her pregnancy, we had the luck(?) to be sitting in front of her and her husband when she began discussing her impending baby shower. She complained long and hard about how she hoped no one gave her clothes for the baby because she had her own style and refused to dress her child in "any old rags". I wanted to slap her and it was all I could do not to turn around and look at her. People are spending their hard-earned money on something to symbolize their well wishes for you, and all you can do is criticize before you even see something?! Months passed and one day she reappeared in the distance across the platform, pushing a gigantic stroller that was trimmed in white gold and diamonds (okay, maybe not but who knows if that was stainless steel? or whatever). Hochie or 2 and I were paralysed. The moment was upon us and we were about to be graced. Mother descended the stairs with a smile, mostly directed at the baby but still a smile that had never before made an appearance here. This was the debut, the shining moment. The carriage touched down on the imagined red carpet and the carriage was slowly wheeled to the spot on the platform that afforded the advantage of viewing by the masses but at the same time prevented close contact. Then, someone was brave enough and said "Cute baby" and the Mother barely turned her head, nodded regally and said, "Thank You" that was really a "Yes, but you should have said Beautiful." I almost vomited.

Now, I saw the baby and the baby really is cute. I will just wait to see what kind of character this child turns out to be. There are more stories to be had from this procreation.

I hope to be a mom someday. If it happens, I won't be a Mother-Snob. I will remember how it feels to be mother-snobbed but if I don't, I have to revisit this or you can all remind me.

Laters.