It May Work on the Body, But My Shit Still Stinks!

One of the coolest things Beetchie and I brought back from Japan is the gum "Otoko Kaoru" which, after some internet-ing, we discovered the name translates roughly to "Man Scent".

Why is the gum called "Man Scent"? Because the Japanese are crazy but we already knew that.

Or perhaps it had something to do with the fact that this gum is targeted towards Japanese businessmen as apparently, the women find the men stinky and in need of some goo'd-time smelling scents.

So, a brilliant (but let us not forget crazy) Japanese company created this gum that after being chewed will release chemicals, causing a rosy scent to be emitted from the body. They estimate the desired results will come 2 hours after the gum has been chewed.

Anyway, the results of some testing from the 6 packs I purchased in Japan with my last 1000 yen have varied.

First, Beetchie and I tried the stuff in Japan on 2 occasions. It worked both times but did not kick into effect until way after the 2 hour time. This leads us to believe that the Japanese stink something fierce. But wait... I can attest to that. They do. They really do. Okay, not all of them but yeah, some of them can get preeeettttty stinky and gaseous. Let us not re-visit that nastiness, though if you wanted to you could read it in The Chronicles of a Tokyo/Kyoto Ho back in June.

Then H1 and I tried it at Wembley Stadium during the opening acts. By the time MUSE took the stage, we were smelling quite rosey. Matt, sadly, was too far to smell me but curses, he would have been all over me. Ha.

Here are some responses from others on the gum -

From MC:

So I didn't smell like roses none at all after chewing that horrible tasting gum. not one babes. not ONE.

Or 2: you obviously already smell like good times. That's odd. It worked for me three times

MC: hahahaha. Good answer. I tried smelling myself and nothing. Had others smell me....nothing

Or 2: How long after? Took 3 hours for mine to kick in. Worked for H1 too. Or MAYBE you were so potent in the bad smell arena, that even man scent couldn't save you

MC: 3 hours...hmmmm. That could also be it. I even went around the Savannah for a cool, non stalker type stroll around the Savannah after my chew. NADA. No hot sweaty babes going crazy and tearing off my clothes

Or 2: you had to go really close to actually smell it I found
MC: ah well

Or 2: look, maybe it's just that you didn't smell after, period. It did what it could to soak up your man scent.

H1: Yeah, it didn't work because the Japanese don't know how to manufacture a scent for the black man.

From Clownie:

It didn't work but I did like the taste.

From Joey:

Is this a joke? I'm going to wait until someone eats theirs first.

Or 2: It's not a joke! You don't trust me?!

Joey: Naw man. You're pulling my leg. Is this going to turn my tongue some weird colour? I'm just going to wait...

I think he's still waiting.

From Chloe:

Or 2: Chloe, did you eat your gum yet?
Chloe: yeah i ate it after work that day. Ironically my man said i reeked
Or 2: of roses, right
Chloe: no, he just said bad
Or 2: tch. He doesn't know better. It works! and it's roses!
Chloe: I rather liked it

From Train BFF:

Or 2: Would you like to try? and after my explanation...

Train BFF: Uhhh. I think I will pass.

From Gen Frien':

Gen: Haha that gum. It's so funny - to make boys smell like a rose. Just great.
Or 2: I know! It's the coolest thing ever. The gum actually works
Gen: Yes. I ate it
Or 2: You did?! yay! it worked right?
Gen: Now we can make boys un stink
Or 2: haha, and you smell like roses now? heehee
Gen: haha yes. It's so cool

From KR:



From TD5:

Or 2: Did you try your man scent gum yet?
TD5: I can't find it. lol
Or 2: WHAT! ass. That cost me all of 150 yen divided by 6
TD5: that and the Japanese disc
Or 2: !
TD5: LOL
Or 2: WHAT! It's in your room somewhere, yeah?
TD5: it's in my room. I have not been in my room in a while. That's all. lol
Or 2: ...
TD5: i am here now. hold on. see, i found it
Or2: I do not want to know.
TD5: Yeah, you don't want to know.

T.M.I., TD5. T.M.I. especially since all I asked about was a stick of gum.

From X:

I should eat this on my wedding day so I can smell like roses!!! Wait, it's a mild laxative? Hmmm...maybe not then...

From Bughie J.:

Or 2: did you ever try your man scent gum?

Bughie J.: still saving it!
Or 2: I can blog about it now. but i will have to take pictures
Bughie J.: pictures, eh?
Or 2: man scent deserves it's own picture! Interesting man scent photos
Bughie J.: hmm, not too "interesting" I hope! I don't want to have my sensibilities offended on my next visit to the blog :-)
Or 2: just think! Manscent at the beach! Manscent at the pool!
Bughie J.: hmmm, manscent on the moon?
Or 2: did we really go there?
Bughie J: to take some manscent up there, yes
Or 2: but we never really landed, right?
Bughie J.: well how'd we get all this yummy cheese?Or 2: hmmmmmmm. Wallace and Gromit went
Bughie J.: finally, some heroes we can stand behind. Neil who? Buzz what? Yuri snotball? No thank you, just good ol' Wallace and Gromit please

From Frass:

"I'm not eating that poison! ::insert grey shouting face that turns red::"

So that's that. It seems to have worked for some but not so much for others but since some have not yet tried theirs, I will have to update the experiment results at a later date.

Also, I can't really get a grip on what Killer Rabbit's results were since my quota for getting dangerously close to him for the year has now been fulfilled.

Gum, I noticed, is quite plentiful with a huge selection over in Japan. I probably only made note of this because they are strangely named and/or packaged things - or just interesting flavours. I never went back to get the xxxStylish one but I did get this:



Look at Rock Lee and his "Men's Style" gum! He is quite the manly man with style there....

Stop hating on Rock Lee, H1.

The Tokyo-Ho Japan to New York-Ho (or is it just Ho, in that case?) Chronicles - Day 14, Almost. And The Japan Wrap Up

We gained a day flying back. It was awesome but has me completey wrecked.

Day 14, Saturday, June 9th.

We awoke before 6 AM to catch our flight back to NY. There's nothing truly worth mentioning on this day other than the breakfast that was served to us before we left Homeikan. So. Much. Food.

Ugh.

The Day's Eats:



Here's a list of all you saw above - miso, rice, tea, egg, sweet red beans, ham, and cold tofu.

And so ends the Japan Adventure. I can't wait for all of us to make the trip in the future. It'll be fun, fun times.

Next up is the H1 and Or 2 London Adventure.

This is for everything I missed or need to re-cap:

1. Japanese people smell. And not good either. At least, this is what I've discovered of some of the males.

Said males especially enjoy sitting next to me on the plane.

On the flight to Japan, this man with B.O. sat right next to me. I was actually concerned it had been me and kept sniffing my armpits but figured out 10 hours in that it was indeed that dude.

On the way coming back from Japan, the man next to me smelt, not of B.O. but would constantly let out these rank farts. Seriously, beer is evil.

And where was Beetchie in all of this? That's right, she was safely sitting by the window while my senses got all the foulness and she was shielded.

I hate her sometimes...

2. In keeping with point 1, the Japanese have created the most fantastic thing ever. I won't go into the details now since I have to first distribute the presents I have for you lot but I'd like to point out now before I forget, it doesn't work on your shit.

3. If I had heard Avril Lavigne one more time in Japan, I was going to have to bitch slap them all. Like I said, foward thinkers they are but not so much when it comes to their love of crap music like AL.

4. When we do said trip in the future, remember to bring lots of money and/or lots of access to money.

5. Toilet Misadventures in case I missed them:

a. First there was smell of mildew in the toilet at the Kyoto Ryokan. Everytime we into the stalls, it stank. But as soon as I would get into one stall, everything would be alright but Beetchie would always leave the stall next to mine complaining up a storm. It turns out mildew may have been growing only in her stall.

b. Beetchie was convinced that our ryokan in Kyoto was haunted. I felt that nothing was wrong with our room but we both agreed that walking the long hallway to the toilets on the first floor was a creepy deal everytime. That part may have been haunted but upon reflection, it could have been the mildew... Mildew always makes you feel scuzzy and spooked.

c. The Bidet Incident.

"When in Japan, do as the Japanese do! And what better place to try a bidet than in this really high class, clean Starbucks?" - Beetchie. She came out of the bathroom at a local Kyoto Starbucks in our area one morning looking very sheepish.

"What happened?" - Me
"Nothing...I just tested out the bidet." - Beetchie
"...and...?" - Me (asked nervously)
"Oh, nothing. It was...strange. I didn't realize you could press this button for stop and there were puffs of air but I couldn't figure out why it wasn't stopping." - Beetchie
"::shaking head in embarrassment::" - my reaction and response

6. Japanese television is great. They're into reality tv but it's all centered around food and/or animals. We also watched whatever the latest "Power Rangers" is being aired in Japan, and got into it. Sue me, I like the new Red Power Ranger! He's so stupid...

7. For some reason they're still obsessed with the "Dragon Ball" Series and "Neon Genesis Evangelion". I was slightly confused by it all and I'm wondering if there's some sort of new EVA thing coming out.

8. Japan is all about pork. I must have eaten pork almost every day for at least 2 times out of the day. It was great times. I kind of miss that. I feel oppressed in this house!

9. The Japanese really do all do the 'victory' sign for their pictures. They're so frickin' lame and hilarious. Gotta love them. Beetchie and I, however, refused to do it with Hello Kitty. We Devil-Horned that Wholesome Betch.

Confessions I'd Like To Make Now. I'm Ready To Be Ridiculed:

1. I have to admit, I actually really enjoyed holding Hello Kitty's hand. When she stared at me with those blank eyes, I was hooked. I wanted to let go...but I just...couldn't bring myself to do so...

I was strangely comforted.