They may be late but the Festivus tradition of the "Airing of Grievances" will not be broken!
Due to the fact that it's Old Year's Night and a new year is upon us in a few hours, we'll also list New Year's Resolutions that you asshats should live by.
Let's start with MC, since he did us waaaaay dirty this past year.
MC
Your Most Heinous Grievance of 2008 -
How is it you managed to find a woman and engage she before anyone has even met her?! Mk does not count as the lot of us having met her.
You also did not come this way for Thanksgiving either but taking the other grievance into consideration, this is the least of our worries.
The HOchieS resolution for you in 2009 -
Make sure there's good food at your wedding.
TD5
Grievance of 2008 -
We can't believe you really did find Jeebus before you found us last year! But luckily you did find us this year before TOTALLY finding Jeebus.
The HOchieS resolution for you in 2009 -
Not so much as a resolution but a concern. We're concerned that this may become a yearly thing with you...this Finding of Jeebus.
X
Grievance of 2008 -
Worst than ever before, your runk like a skunk behaviour was way out of control. And if not for an in house Holiday party this year, WHO KNOWS what kind of hooker-ing was going to go down and what this grievance would have been.
The HOchieS resolution for you in 2009 -
We thought kicking you out of The Oxtails would sober you some, but clearly you are wrong and strong. Please be try to less runk and more skunk. Skunks are cute.
Frass
Grievances of 2008 -
Not as severe as last year but on principle we have to have three. We recall you disappeared on us at some point during Spring but came back in full force by bestowing us with candy from London and almost successfully defended it from the bottomless pit that is your sister, free dinner (and maybe you should have a grievance with us for inviting Alex and X but let us not talk about that...moving along), and bringing us lots of alcohol. However, you also downsized H1's gift from Italy and suggest that her fierceness was not fierce enough.
The HOchieS resolution for you in 2009 -
We think you should strive to be less angry about not having parties.
Beetchie
Grievance of 2008
You went to Grenada to get away from being in servitude, then demands stuff from us while over there. As Watanuki, that is not how things work!
The HOchieS resolution for you in 2009 -
Be a proper servant.
CLee
Grievance of 2008
Smug! Your smugness increased in 2008!
The HOchieS resolution for you in 2009 -
We would you like to be in NY with the HOchieS for TWO months and of course, try to stop liking the smell of your own farts.
Bughie J.
Grievance of 2008
At first we thought this was a grievance free year for you once more but H1 suddenly remembered that she did not get any brownies yet.
The HochieS resolution for you in 2009 -
We require two batches of brownies. Perhaps we will make them Easter brownies to give you some time.
Pandy
Grievance of 2008
We used to be BFFs. For the entire year, we were BFFs and then you went to Australia and you fell off the face of the planet (there AND when you got back!)
The HOchieS resolution for you in 2009 -
You too are to ensure that the food at your wedding is good, or else you'll find yourself higher on the grievance list.
Diderick and The Cheat
Grievance of 2008 -
While I thank you for my Royal Dansk butter cookies, you truly did me an unkindness. You know I suffer from an addiction!
Or 2's resolution for you in 2009 -
Buy a smaller tin for me next Christmas.
Or 2
Grievance of 2008 and resolution for 2009
Stop making me watch your damned anime!!! - H1
H1
Grievance of 2008 and resolution for 2009
You'll watch my damned anime if I want! - Or 2.
Damn, why is my paragraph the biggest? LOL And let the record show that I started managing my office last Spring so I was busy with all the new responsibilities. In other words, money comes before friends. Always! Money trumps friends. ;) heh heh heh
ReplyDeleteYeah, we're all for your making money because we hope to benefit. Wheeeeee!!!!! Heh heh heh.
ReplyDeleteYour paragraph may be the biggest but MC got the top dishonourable spot of 2008.
This I see. I would have thought that my visiting you in August and bringing you memorable Rock Band performances under my pseudonym "Sexual Chocolate" would have counted for something, but I guess it didn't. I will have to try harder not to return to the top of the grievance list. p.s. I would never put you before money...NEVER
ReplyDeleteI looked at last year's list and it says I was going to be cutoff in '08, yet I did quite well in the rankings.
ReplyDeleteAmazing what a little alcohol can do. I'm surprised X hasn't figued that out yet. She's too busy drinking it all by herself.
It's true. That runk will stay out of my house like the skunk she is.
ReplyDeletethat's ok. I'm not giving up my alco for ANYBODY, Frass you may find that once you're 'runk, you won't care where on the list you are. And I've found new places for hookerin' and runkin', a place where everyone seems to be runk ALL the time!! Yay Bim!!!
ReplyDeletePlease send Mk and Mw on the 19th. You can go back to Bim.
ReplyDeleteOh X that's just the booze talking. I see your partner in runkin and hookerin, Amy W is 2 islands up from you in St. Lucia. You better get your act together, cause I will disown you if you start wearing a beehive..
ReplyDeleteok, let's get one thing straight...I don't mess with the nose, so Amy W ain't no friend of mine. And I hope you all realize that MC will not be doing any band reunions now that he has a "boss." I'm pretty sure he has not received permission.
ReplyDelete