Unfreakin' Believable

Say what you will about the official song for the Olympics 2012 but as the OFFICIAL song, you'd think NBC wouldn't cut it out of their closing ceremony "broadcast", right?

It should come as no surprise to me the level of assness NBC has displayed during these entire games and yet they still managed to piss me off this day in one final hurrah.

I might be on a bit of a breakup from Bells but that is besides the point and what NBC did was really, really idiotic.

Really.

Yet I had to sit there and listen to that asshole Ryan Seacrest talk out of his asshole showcasing his lack of musical knowledge, watch Posh Spice almost fall off her car (which would have been fabulous except she didn't), Kate Moss heroin walk in a daze, Jessie J. butcher Freddie Mercury and waste two and a half hours of my life watching commercials and terrible performances when I could easily have wasted that time playing Kingdom Hearts: Dream Drop Distance instead.

Absolute brilliance, that.

Edit at 12:39 a.m.: I'm sure they cut tons of material and I'm seeing Kate Bush got cut too.  Complete shitnanigans.

A Few Words on the Winter Olympics 2010

First, that poor luge Georgian athlete Nodar Kumaritashvili who died today - it's so sad.  I cried a little when Georgia did the Parade of Nations.  It's as H1 said - this should have been a happy time for them instead only teary eyes could be seen.

We all feel for you, Georgia.

Secondly, I'm watching the opening ceremony and I might have nightmares.  The totem things they set up scared the hell out of me!

The Lowlamps:

1. The scary flag bearer for Ireland, with her flaming hair and neon green pants was hella scary.  In fact, Ireland looked like a freakin' mess with all their neon green pants!

2. The Italians athletes are awfully scary as well and their flag bearer clearly did not know how to wave a flag.

3. The ugly coat dresses the Canadian hosts are wearing coupled with their bad dancing, makes for a viewing mess.  Though if I may make a confession, I actually kinda like the bad dancing.  It's slightly funny and cute.

4. The U.S. Team stealing the Moose from the Canadians by wearing them on their snow hats.  Low blow, U.S.  Low.  Blow.  Plus their smug white pants...they're killing me.

5. As usual, the U.S. coverage of any Olympics - they were focusing so much on the U.S.A. team that they completely disregarded the country after.

6. I could have sworn that Bryan Adams just missed his cue and is lip synching his Opening Ceremony performance.  And really, Nelly Furtado and Bryan Adams?!?!
Why couldn't you just get Alanis to sing something racy instead?
O Canada.

7. I used to think French Canada was the Best Canada and the only Canada in the land.
Turns out it really is the bullsheet Canada...what with it's fiddlers, Irish River Dancing and Batman.  I always thought Batman was from the 'hood in NYC.  I always thought he was a bad-assed motha'chucka who went from the 'hood in NYC, (although the rich 'hood) to the Ninja/Yakuza 'hoods in Japan.

No, Batman's actually a fiddlin' fool from Canada.

My childhood has just been destroyed.

Thanks, Canada.

8. Slam Poetry and Canadians do not mix, my brothas... my Shistas.

9. Having commercials during the Opening Ceremony is the worst.

The Highlights:

1. That gOO'd looking Canadian who walked out Iran.  It pains me to say it but he really was gOO'd lOOking.  Ha.

2. There's a dancing Canadian host at the end who really can dance.  He's making the country proud and making my eyes feel better.

3. Okay, the hilarious story about the 1964 Olympics when the Mongolian athletes showed up without having an official entry form and not knowing they needed one but were allowed to enter anyway just goes to show : whether or not they win any medals during an Olympic ceremony, Mongolians will always hold the gold for Invasion.  Ahahahahahahaha.

4. Master Chi! Master Chi was leading out one of the countries (I forget which now)! Wait, shouldn't this be a lowlamp? Master Chi? A Canadian?!
In reality, that Asian was pretty gOO'd lOO'king and it's not that Master Chi isn't but he's like a brother.  He gave me Tenchu as a present before he left college, so yeah...  I'm going to go with the story that that Asian didn't really look like Master Chi but it is a fact that all Asians look alike.  Right, Beetchie?

5. It was sad, but yet so damned funny at the same time! I cannot believe they had technical difficulties at the most important time of the Ceremony...at the friggin' Torch Lighting!!!!!
Those poor louts.  Man, Wayne Gretsky looked peeved.

Once again Inuits get screwed, as all Aboriginal peoples do.  The four torches was supposed to be representative of the Four Aboriginal Nations (from what I could gather from the very beginning of the Opening Ceremony) but when that last one didn't show, it seemed like a slap in the face to some Inuits to me.

Memorable Converstaions of the Night:

Or 2: I'm watching the Opening Ceremony, and China still has everyone beat.  See how immediately my Asian blood just conveniently comes out?
Bughie J.: Haha.

Or 2: Oh.  They made a maple leaf on the mountain.  Lame.
Bughie J. Well, what else could they have made.  Hmm...maybe a very big room...with a moose.

As Kazakhstan did the Parade of Nations:

Luuuuuiiiiiisssss: Where's Borat?

As Japan did the Parade of Nations:

Or 2: Awww! Look at my little Japanese! They're so cute!!! And look! They're...waving Canadian flags as well in addition to their little Japanese flags!
H1: Ass kissers!
Or 2: Hahaha, yeah.  But you don't really get to be a super power without being...
H1: Assholes! Wait, Ass kissers?!?!
Or 2: Ha, yeah.  Ass-kissers.  Sneaky bastards.

Or 2: I always knew there was more of a reason why I don't like Canadians.  They're hippies.

H1: What is that thing Sarah Mclachlan is wearing on her neck? Is that a maple leaf?
Or 2: No, man.  That's a hibiscus! She's representin' Trinidad!

The final word on the Opening Ceremonies?

H1: This is a boring shit.

Keeping Track of Shady Buisness

It should not come as a surprise to anyone but China's been pulling some shady buisness during the Olympics.

1. Digitally enhanced fireworks display for T.V.
2. Under aged Gymnasts
3. From one not so cute girl to another not so cute girl - one who sings and one who lip-syncs.

Our responses -

1. Meh. T.V.'s supposed to be entertaining, so whatever.
2. Meh. You Americans got beaten by kids younger than you? That just goes to show you that you should be ashamed of yourselves, Americans.
3. Awww, poor kid. I didn't think she was T.V. ugly. Everyone knows opera type singers are hideous. And as I stated before, I didn't think the face on that other girl was stellar either. I know it's true and I'm sure others do too but everyone's acting as if Milli Vanilla never existed.

Our overall take on the list thus far (I expect more, there's a whole week left) -

This isn't nearly as funny as the time China tried to switch out their entire football team at half-time a few years ago to send in not tired athletes to replace the tired ones, in the hopes that no one would notice since it's a common notion that all Asians look the same.

Clearly the Chinese underestimated our ability to tell who's who in the world of Asians. Though, that was a valiant effort on their part.

Goodness knows I couldn't tell.