The Shitnanigans of the Olympics Google Doodles

What does it take to get Gold on Google Doodles Featured Page during the Olympics 2012?!

This week, the Google homepage has been hosting Google Doodles you can "Play".

On Tuesday, I jumped hurdles and made a score of 13.4 seconds, jumping every hurdle without fail and only got silver.

Silver.

I call Shitnanigans!

Tonight, I was defending my goal like nobody's business in Football (which reminds me, I saw a great shirt today that read "I play football with my feet".  I need it) and managed to save 23 times.

Silver.

Silver.

Shitnanigans!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Curse you, Goolympics.

I curse you with my silver tongue.

Dragon Quest H1 Or 2: The Wishing for Dim Sum

Instead of going to Dim Sum , we are unfortunately stuck at home today on this gloomy, rainy Saturday.  I love days like these but dim sum is good times too.

So, in lieu of dim sum, I will just have to send my warrior to Dragon Quest his way over to Chinatown for Dim Sum in my stead.  Hopefully he won't run into any dragons, won't don any cursed armour (well, if he does just to hear that music then he can do that) and gets lucky destroying some metal slimes on his way there.

I think he's lost

Happy Early Cruel April Fool's to you too, Google.

Distractions From World Domination Plots

This may all be a part of their scheme to keep our little minds occupied while they work behind the scenes to continue spying on us and plot our demise, but the folks at Google just gave some of us a few themes to work with within Gmail.

It. is. Hilarious.

There are some pretty nice ones that I've seen so far with the "Planets", "Tea House" and "Terminal" themes being the better selections in my opinion.

However, I, like Gen Friend, picked Ninjas.

It is a well-known fact (at least to those who know me), that I love Ninjas. Who doesn't, though? I've armies that I've been gathering together since my days in college, or rather still, since my dealings with Snake Eyes but... I've already said too much.

To protect the identity of M.C. and Chloe, I blacked out some names of the Gmail mail I had. Also, I blocked out H1's name in the chat but look at the Rising Gmail Sun, the ninja stars on the e-mail links and the funky black and red ninja colours!



Watch my subordinates compose an e-mail of a certain destructive nature!



Other than that, you will see some embarrassing secrets about me such as getting mail from Keane. Yeah, I'm a member of their mailing list.

As well as questions that may arise a-like so: what's up with the e-mail entitled "Holy Poop"?

Back to the Ninjas though, I feel like they're waiting for me to fall asleep so that they can assassinate me. That's the thing about Ninjas, you don't give them enough of a rice stipend and they turn on your ass. Or am I confusing them with my armies of Samurai?

This must be a test run given to only a few Gmail users as H1 sadly discovered but I think it just means she hasn't been marked for death.

It...almost makes me a little bit suspicious of H1!

Hmmmmm...

Currently listening to: "Ninja Hideout" and by Koji Hayama, from the Ape Escape 2 Original Soundtrack and "Ninja Night School" by Ultra Brain, from the Songs for Death Note The Movie: Tribute. Really? Are these the only two songs in my current uploaded library that has the word 'ninja' in it? Lame. What's worse, they're both sucky songs.

Edit on 11/20/08:

Why did I just send an e-mail out to TD5 and there's a scene of one of my ninjas harrassing a geisha? She does look like she can defend herself with those fans though. I am well impressed.



H1 got her theme settings finally and she went with the tea house theme that features a little kitsune. She is very happy.

Edit on 11/21/08:

This morning I awoke to find that my Ninja and Geisha were cleaning. Any item can be used as a weapon, it's true, even if that object is a broom. See what another koku can do? You can get your ninjas to sweep up.



Currently listening to: The Pumps trundling down the stairs. He makes for a terrible Ninja Cat sometimes. Perhaps I need to cut back on his koku...

Even Google Thinks We're Done For!

This is on the Google Home Page today.



Please take note of how "Google" looks like it's about to be sucked into itself.

There can be only one explanation - Miniature black holes!

Forget atoms... like I'm supposed to believe that drawing was of atoms colliding and moving quickly.

Currently listening to: "A Song for Sleeping" by Stone Temple Pilots.

Rabbit, Rabbit, Rabbit. Hare Hare Hare.

It just occurred to me that maybe it's "here here here" or "hear hear hear" (this one doesn't really make sense) and that perhaps all these years I've been thinking and saying it incorrectly hence our not winning the lottery. I'll have to verify but until that time...

Here's to another failed month, then.

It's also April Fool's Day. This isn't a day we play tricks upon or get tricked upon by others since no one I know really cares about it except those Gmail/Google Conquerors of the Future World. Set your custom time to that, Gmail and embark on your journey out in space, Google.

H1 and I aren't worthy of being Virgles.

Here's H1's result:

Okay, let's just get this over with quickly, like ripping off a medical adhesive: you did not do well on this test. You are not, by all available evidence, well suited to be a Virgle Pioneer, or any sort space explorer, really, or for that matter, any profession which requires leaving behind your creature comforts, your nice warm bed, your lovely wardrobe, your gourmet meals, your high-end home theater, your friends and family -- oh man, what have we gotten ourselves into here? We're kind of freaking out ourselves, actually. Help! We changed our minds! We don't want to go! [Clicks heels.] There's no place like home! There's no place like home! There's no place like -- [ Long silence. ] Hello. Still there? We're sorry about that unpleasantness with our previous reviewer. We can assure you, you tested just fine and would make a fine Pioneer; all you have to do is submit your video here.

And mine,

Pigeons and Google Will Be The Death of Us All

X sent me this article yesterday about how Pigeons may be partially responsible for the bridge collapse in Minneapolis earlier this month. Apparently their dung build-up contributed to the wearing of bolts and metal on the bridge due to the acidity of said dung.

X has established that if this was a contributing factor in that bridge collapse then NY is screwed.

She's right.

H1, did you discuss this at the conference as well?

I always knew pigeons were evil, just like Google.

In fact, I'm sure the pigeons are using Google Earth to spy, and target their next attack and are planning the entire population of earth's demise as we speak.

GTalk from GMail

Tonight I have discovered that the new feature GTalk from GMail by Google is like a Horror Movie.
I've been using it now since last week Friday and I was all over it!
Until tonight...

Smiley faces =)
Winking faces ;)
Sticky out Tongue faces :P
and Sad faces :(

...All rotate in the most nightmarish Exorcist manner I've seen since the Exorcist!!!!!!!!!!!

It gets worse! The tongue turns pink and the winky face actually winks! Scary!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!