Your Favourite Worst Nightmare: Something Wicked This Way Comes...

Your Home Town: You’ve just about forgotten the day you stepped off that train into a life of Inadvertent Leadership.  Neighbros have come and gone.  Friends have visited your larger than life world with its zen garden, and the lonely lighthouse keeping watch over the cliff as it ushers Kappa safe passage to the Island.  Your house now looks fit for a king as you sit in front of your fireplace every night wondering when next that horse will make an unannounced visit.  Your museum has reached a new level of cultural sophistication and yet there’s still so much left to explore.

Pumpkins and Lies at the Great Jack O'Lantern Blaze

It's been a couple of years since we went to the Great Jack O' Lantern Blaze at Van Cortland Manor, but it has not been long enough for us to forget the sights at the last exhibit.

October 12th was bitterly cold.  It was cold enough in fact, that Active Goat T. and Alex felt justified in proclaiming that "Winter is Coming" or rather, that "Winter Is Here".  I often marvel at their ridiculousness.  Everyone knows that the official start to Winter for our part of the world is December 21st.  Coincidentally, that is the start to the Zombie Apocalypse/Armageddon, so it's going to be our most brutal winter in the history of the world.

It might be the last Winter ever...but let us not dwell on that for now.

With the cold air, it was sort of nice trekking along with frenemies and family in tow, in the dark with our way lit by over 3,000 carved pumpkins.  It's the sort of fun October event to do to put one in the mood to celebrate all the tricks, treats and ghoulish fun of Halloween...

...Or so you may believe until you figure out that the exhibit is in fact full of shitnanigans.  As H1 and I made our way past the pumpkin grave yard, bursting with zombie hands (a preview of things to come in the near future) and single pumpkins that needed some grading (a lot of "F - -" pumpkins to be sure), our hearts trembled with fear upon the realization of something rather sinister.

Yes, even more sinister than this clownish, starry-eyed fool.  "D -", by the way.

 I believe it was past the house and around the bend that we made the startling discovery.

I don't know what is going on with those pumpkins on top of there.  I don't know what they're supposed to be.  Lumps of turds? Your guess is as good as mine.

The discovery was that not only was there a giant, skull faced spider lurking outside the house and the occupants should probably call in an exterminator for the hellish problem on their hands but it was also a very familiar spider.

No, no.  I'm pretty sure we did not meet him before at the bar or at a concert.

I'm fairly certain we met this very same spider at the Blaze some years ago.  I have no idea how long spiders can live (and this one may have been a special case being that...uh, he's...of special circumstances) but he was hanging out by some dinosaurs.

DINOSAURS.  The same damned dinosaur exhibit we saw when we were there the last time!

Look at them! Look at how familiar like they appear! Where's Stomp-a-saurus? Distant cousin to the Active Goat?

Logistically, there is no way for them to carve over 3,000 plus pumpkins to be able to withstand and hold up under warm weather conditions (which to achieve, they would have to be carving months in advance of October).

But, wax pumpkins? Fake pumpkins?! Are these the lies I've been dealing with all these years?! Are they using the same stencils and putting them in the exact same position as they did three years ago? Shitnanigans! Shitnanigans, I say!!!!!!!!

Don't you be beady-eying me!

And stop laughing at me Cheshire Cat!

Also, there are no such things as fairies!

And I will kick down your mushroom houses!

Ahem... anger aside, there were a couple of new portions of the fake exhibit that were spectacular.  There were giant jack-in-the-box displays as part of the Scary circus portion of the exhibit.  I did not get pictures of those because H1's phone battery died by the time we got to that point (and I still do not have my camera back from shop repairs hence double the anger and lack of blogging).

 Outside the house, a demonic dance around a giant fire pit looked like quite the fun to join in but alas, I do not think my living kind was welcome.

There were also some witches brewing some toil and trouble.  They also give us some stank eye which I did not appreciate.

But how is one supposed to take some witches with ridiculous hats seriously?

But perhaps the most brilliant display was the giant Grandfather, Halloween Clock complete with Jack O' Lantern Pendulum heralding the End of Times.  The Clock stood tall at the start of an eerie dirt road lined with mini Jack O' Lanterns that snickered and flickered off into the darkness, leading where? Who knows?

It was a spectacular sight and made me curse that much more for not having my camera to capture the sheer magnificence of the set up.

As I was standing there trying to get a decent enough picture to share, a chilling laugh could be heard in the dark somewhere down the path.  "That was not cool!", I shouted.  In that moment, it was fairly scary but yeah, it was actually fantastically cool and added so much more depth to an already amazing set piece. 

Despite the lies upon the realization of shitnanigans, we had a fun evening.  It's just not something we may revisit any time in the next few years or so.

Happy Halloween

Hi Ho, Halloween Hellions.

We're writing this to you from the past being that we do not know what the Future may bring on Halloween... 

There may be power, or there may be no power by the time Wednesday rolls around...who knows? As this is being written, we're just about to enter the extra dangerous spots of Hurricane Sandy that involve 60 to 80 mph winds.

With that said, we're saying goodbye to our Drinking Lego Robot.  Summer's long been over but without a working camera, we have not really been able to capture an ideal Autumn picture to represent on the blog.  What? Draw one? Yeah...I guess... but what's there to motivate us? WHAT, I SAY?!?!

Heh.

Anyway, bye bye Drinking Robot.  Not that he has not had reason to drink as it has been unseasonably warm this October what with this Indian Summer type thing we've been having (and now a Hurricane...).

For now, hello to Halloween Hoodlums who dance around a giant fire where they're cooking up... humans.  I don't know, it's probably best not to ask or stare for too long lest you too end up as embers.

Happy Halloween, everyone!

Currently: Listening to the wind outside, hoping to not lose power and thinking about everyone's safety.

Saying Goo'day to the Pumpkins

Halloween's over! Yes, sad but scarily true.  Another year gone by and another Halloween enjoyed by the HOchieS.  It was almost ruined by a freak snow storm (and was ruined for some...) but we had some ghoulish fun with the kids.

I'll stop with the lame, cheap tricks in my writing.  I'll make a peace treaty with you all and stop.  Right now.

Okay.

In closing, thanks to Target for having fabulous shiny pumpkins on their shelves for me to snap photos of.

It's now back to our Autumn Scarecrow friend with black crow.

For All Souls' Day

Before I forget, I took a little picture of a Halloween fright planted on H1's window as part of her Halloween decorations this year.

In case you missed it, the poor black cat was not hanging from a noose this Halloween (thank goodness!) but there was another cat sighting.

The scary scene?

A black cat was cleverly waiting by the bird feeder...

See? Smart.

...scaring the sheet out of some birds.

Poor thing.

Happy Halloween, Fiends!

Tonight, the HOchieS are celebrating Halloween.  H1 was sick at home today, and I went to work for half a day.  I had secret business which I will discuss at a later day.

But Halloween 2011 is almost at a close and we are presenting scary, pretty....pretty scary?...Halloween pumpkins to you.

Look at their glossy sheen!

Aren't they fabulous?

The HOchie children were awesomely dressed.  They get A+s.  We get an A for the house because we had ghosts worshiping around the Great Tree.  H1 said it was the creepiest thing I have ever done.

Due to the "Halloween Winter" Storm on Saturday, Trick or Treating was a little sad this year.  There were no splendid costumes to talk about but for coming out among downed lines and branches, the little children fiends get an A+

Luckily, The Dark Knight swooped in and helped with the aftermath..

Here he is, helping to clean up Gotham.

Halloween with The Cheat

Just in case anyone was wondering, The Cheat did dress up for Halloween this year.

He was a Fairy Prince, and was out scaring kids with his extreme cursing.

Actin' A Fool

Halloween may be over for 2010 here but some of us like to joke around.

Take for instance, the Empire State building:

It was a rainy day Wednesday last, and on our walk home, H1 and I turned the corner and saw a very impressive mist hovering around the Empire State.  I am not sure why the lights were green that night but we both though the same thing - that was some Incredible Hulk green.  It was most brilliant but unfortunately, I did not have my camera with me and had to use my phone's camera instead.

The blurry camera phone picture makes it seem decidedly less impressive.

This morning, I came in to work to find one of the work friends rolling around in some candy as if Halloween was today.

It was rather...shocking and quite the vulgar sight!

Avert your eyes!

Oh the humanity

Later that day, I myself partook in some Tom Foolery.  I had a moment of regret as I stared down at their little faces, while just moments before I dangled a similar starfish from the corner of my mouth.

They looked so happy...but for only so long.

 Now, looking back at this picture that I took, I feel really disgusted looking more closely at Patrick the Starfish's umm...pants. 

They're awfully tight.

Currently listening to: "Sick Muse" by Metric.

Happy Halloween!!!!!!

One of our favourite nights has clawed its way up our foot path, slithered under our door mat and came to rest undetected upon our shoulders...

Happy Halloween, everyone!

Tonight we did our usual ratings of kids' costumes while giving out some treats to the little ones.

This year, the kids really did a good job with their costumes! It's hard to give kids F's when they've been so polite and well-dressed.  So, everyone gets an A to B.

Special mention to the Captain America, the Akatsuki member, and Zombie Cop reminiscent of Raccoon City's Resident Evil.

And dishonourable mention to the two kids that came in the second round of kids who were the only rude ones, or the one kid and parent combo, who emptied the pail of candy to make it seem as though they got nothing so that I would take pity on them and give them tons.  I'm wise to the tricks.

I dressed up as my hated Ramona Flowers (it's Halloween, after all.  I had to be scary!).  Unfortunately, H1 did fabulous makeup on me, so I was goo'-looking.

H1's house with the addition of the scary Halloween mat shrieking at the children, gives the house a B+.

Good year this, even with the scary ghost floating outside our window...

Somehow

Halloween's almost here again.

It's one of my favourites and my best: there are costumes to think about "making", kids' costumes to grade harshly and just general excitement that comes with the sights and the decorating.

And then there's H1's house.

I do not know what's worse, the stringing of the cat last year or this year's exposing of the cat's one ball buisness.

This poor effin' cat.

It's A Me...

All our years collecting 30+ Nintendo games, and consoles served a purpose! Cash Back of a $25 gift card for my Halloween costume AND some free pizza, all with some creative use of a company sharpie and paper, and our Club Nintendo Elite Status Reward - A winner is me!

It's a Me! Mari-Ho!

A purist will tell you the moustache was wrong and they'd be right, but ask and I will tell you, "it's not Luigi, so why should I care?"

Halloween Wash Out

Happy Halloween!

"A sunny, warm day", the weather people said and what happens?

The expected rain.
So Halloween was a bit of a wash this year thanks to the rain, and thanks to the rain some of kids' costumes cannot be seen under their coats but we commend them for coming out.

I am a failed cross-breed between Rock Band Zarnyx and Rock Band Sariel.

The house was nicely decorated, and did you all say hello to my little pumpkin friend on the blog layout for Halloween?

The House gets a "B+" for cuteness, and would have gotten higher marks if not for the cat in a noose in the front porch.

The kids I did see were not bad but nothing really to talk about - the usual witches and princesses. There was one little kid dressed as a red electric guitar and I almost picked him up and started belting out some riffs but I'm not sure anyone would find that amusing.

There was also one kid who refused a lollipop, saying that I should give it to his "lovely sister".

"She's awesome," I replied.

"She's a witch!" he yelled while running off.

Okay then.

H1 tells me, after I left, there was a boy with butterfly wings. Was it Nicholas from years ago?!

The kids got an "A-" for braving the rain.

We may not have gotten as many as our usual 100+ but we did get a good number still - 66 total.

Edit on Nov. 1, 2009:

Never

Pumpkin and Jazzie are not allowed to go near H1's house.

I've seen what she does to cats!





Memorable Conversation:

H1: I feel so ashamed!
Or 2: As you should be.

Currenly listening to: "Blackout" by MUSE.

Crazy

It has been cold lately - a reminder that Fall is just around the corner (or is today the official start?!) but you know what else is coming?

October.

I love October!

I love Halloween.

H1 should not take me out to the stores during this time because I go a little bit crazy.

It's much the same situation when Alex takes me outside during the work day. She has come to the conclusion that the reason I never go out is that my brain stops functioning after that. It's true.

H1 says the sun addles my brain.

I am already planning my Halloween projects and there are so many cool things out in the stores, just reminding me I should start preppin' a crappily put together costume, and that the ghouls will be out in full force very soon.

Even the pumpkins are beginning to be possessed some!



Boo to you too, little Ghost Pumpkin!

666

To the heathens (selves included)!:

Happy Hella Halloween.

Welcome to The HOchieS' 666th blog post on this fine 2008 October 31st Night.

Spooky soul filled pumpkins and scarier than jeeper creeper scarecrows (thanks for wasting some of my life, H1) play tricks, screech and make merry this Halloween.

It's cold, the wind has been gusting for most of the week and the leaves have been doing some sort of insane dancing as they fly away from the trees and twirl around trick or treaters' feet.

So as to not break with HOchie tradition, let us begin the all-awesome, Grading of Kids' Costumes!

As per usual, we start with the house. We actually decorated this year and even carved a pumpkin, with Or 2's own pure skill and design. Heh. Never you mind you may have seen that Goblin in your own Master Pumpkin Carvers' Kit!

Ignore the mould. I carved it too soon before Halloween and it eventually caved in by the time today came around, so I didn't get to take a good picture of it either. Lame.



As for our costumes, we get A - s.

I was my cutie boy Allen Walker-desu. It was okay but I didn't have time to make a Crown Clown arm.

H1 was a bar maid but I don't recall her trying to give me any beer so maybe she should get an F!

Luuuuiiisss was the Operation Guy, which is damned hilarious.

And Boobey Head was a sensei. A bitchy ass, bandera wearing Yakuza or H1's Sensei.

So far, I've been pretty impressed by some of the kids that have come through.

There are lots of B+s, a few Ds and a handful of F--s but mostly, they've really put some good work into their costumes this year.

Devil Fairies abound which made me very pleased to see. There were a few princesses who were anything but, a scary life-sized tubby Chucky, Leonardo the Ninja Turtle, and an A+ to the kid who came around in her self-made Ipod costume complete with robot-synth voice over.

We didn't get as many kids as in previous years with just 64 and one 65th straggler who got no candy from us for being out so damned late but times are tough! They're lucky they even got candy from me. Actually, they have Beetchie to thank for getting candy.

It's the last day of October, the last day of Birthday Month for Or 2, and we're nervous for next week's Presidential Election but we'll just have to wait and see and hope to not cry on Wednesday.

Here are some October highlights we may have missed:

Happy Divali (on the 29th)!

Clownie bought us Indian treats, and we ate them at Alex's desk while playing "Bole Chudiyan" and "Say Shava Shava". At work. Yes.







I didn't actually forget to blog about this but since I was putting off blogging, Frass' Birthday got priority over Divali. I don't know why I'd do that to my Indian brethren either but really, since they aren't trying to give me sweets and there's a chance Frass might bring me some from London, I'm being nice. Of course, it could be that he totally didn't see how awesome The HochieS were to him and has not been guilted into getting us candy.



Domo-Kun at Target?! Umm, Beetchie's brother Z., is that what you were marketing our cubey friend for?! What kind of shart is that??!!!!!
He is awfully cute though... but I'm not sure Americans understand him but in fairness, there's not much to understand to begin with. Gotta love the Japanese and Domo-Kun. I'm just thankful I got a domo cube of my own before this shart came this way.

Halloween themed candied apples:



Awesome white pumpkins at the Halloween Blaze:



Apple and Pumpkin Picking Photos:









Including Smoked Turkey legs and the hardcore kid who made them.



Bitchy ass ducks that didn't show me their asses? That's certainly surprising.



That time we went also brings back horrid memories of being jipped by a bunch of people who stole Paul Deen's recipe for pumpkin squares and stuck it on a graham cracker crust and called it cheesecake. And to think, I was wondering why the filling taste was so familiar and only after I spent 12 dollars on an effin' small cheesecake did I realise that H1 makes these for me all the time except as squares.

Wrong Story of the Day:



The Halloween 2008 Blog Lay Out:





Currently listening to: "The Number of the Beast" by Iron Maiden; "Halloween" by Shinobu Tanaka, from the Animal Crossing Original Soundtrack; "Spooks of Halloween Town" by Yoko Shimomura, from the Kingdom Hearts Original Soundtrack; and of course "This is Halloween" by Danny Elfman, from The Nightmare Before Christmas Original Soundtrack.