Pumpkins and Lies at the Great Jack O'Lantern Blaze

It's been a couple of years since we went to the Great Jack O' Lantern Blaze at Van Cortland Manor, but it has not been long enough for us to forget the sights at the last exhibit.

October 12th was bitterly cold.  It was cold enough in fact, that Active Goat T. and Alex felt justified in proclaiming that "Winter is Coming" or rather, that "Winter Is Here".  I often marvel at their ridiculousness.  Everyone knows that the official start to Winter for our part of the world is December 21st.  Coincidentally, that is the start to the Zombie Apocalypse/Armageddon, so it's going to be our most brutal winter in the history of the world.

It might be the last Winter ever...but let us not dwell on that for now.

With the cold air, it was sort of nice trekking along with frenemies and family in tow, in the dark with our way lit by over 3,000 carved pumpkins.  It's the sort of fun October event to do to put one in the mood to celebrate all the tricks, treats and ghoulish fun of Halloween...

...Or so you may believe until you figure out that the exhibit is in fact full of shitnanigans.  As H1 and I made our way past the pumpkin grave yard, bursting with zombie hands (a preview of things to come in the near future) and single pumpkins that needed some grading (a lot of "F - -" pumpkins to be sure), our hearts trembled with fear upon the realization of something rather sinister.

Yes, even more sinister than this clownish, starry-eyed fool.  "D -", by the way.

 I believe it was past the house and around the bend that we made the startling discovery.

I don't know what is going on with those pumpkins on top of there.  I don't know what they're supposed to be.  Lumps of turds? Your guess is as good as mine.

The discovery was that not only was there a giant, skull faced spider lurking outside the house and the occupants should probably call in an exterminator for the hellish problem on their hands but it was also a very familiar spider.

No, no.  I'm pretty sure we did not meet him before at the bar or at a concert.

I'm fairly certain we met this very same spider at the Blaze some years ago.  I have no idea how long spiders can live (and this one may have been a special case being that...uh, he's...of special circumstances) but he was hanging out by some dinosaurs.

DINOSAURS.  The same damned dinosaur exhibit we saw when we were there the last time!

Look at them! Look at how familiar like they appear! Where's Stomp-a-saurus? Distant cousin to the Active Goat?

Logistically, there is no way for them to carve over 3,000 plus pumpkins to be able to withstand and hold up under warm weather conditions (which to achieve, they would have to be carving months in advance of October).

But, wax pumpkins? Fake pumpkins?! Are these the lies I've been dealing with all these years?! Are they using the same stencils and putting them in the exact same position as they did three years ago? Shitnanigans! Shitnanigans, I say!!!!!!!!

Don't you be beady-eying me!

And stop laughing at me Cheshire Cat!

Also, there are no such things as fairies!

And I will kick down your mushroom houses!

Ahem... anger aside, there were a couple of new portions of the fake exhibit that were spectacular.  There were giant jack-in-the-box displays as part of the Scary circus portion of the exhibit.  I did not get pictures of those because H1's phone battery died by the time we got to that point (and I still do not have my camera back from shop repairs hence double the anger and lack of blogging).

 Outside the house, a demonic dance around a giant fire pit looked like quite the fun to join in but alas, I do not think my living kind was welcome.

There were also some witches brewing some toil and trouble.  They also give us some stank eye which I did not appreciate.

But how is one supposed to take some witches with ridiculous hats seriously?

But perhaps the most brilliant display was the giant Grandfather, Halloween Clock complete with Jack O' Lantern Pendulum heralding the End of Times.  The Clock stood tall at the start of an eerie dirt road lined with mini Jack O' Lanterns that snickered and flickered off into the darkness, leading where? Who knows?

It was a spectacular sight and made me curse that much more for not having my camera to capture the sheer magnificence of the set up.

As I was standing there trying to get a decent enough picture to share, a chilling laugh could be heard in the dark somewhere down the path.  "That was not cool!", I shouted.  In that moment, it was fairly scary but yeah, it was actually fantastically cool and added so much more depth to an already amazing set piece. 

Despite the lies upon the realization of shitnanigans, we had a fun evening.  It's just not something we may revisit any time in the next few years or so.

Cambodia, Sacrificial Lamb, a Black Heart and a Pumpkin Blaze

Yep, sounds like October.

On Friday last, X took me out for some Cambodian Street Eats that were not in the Streets or in Cambodia but rather in the vicinity of the Delancie Station Stop on the F Train.

There was a threat of being whisked away to Crooklyn but instead a Rooster punishment was delivered.



At Kampuchea, roosters were everywhere to torture me - on matchbooks, plates and mason jars used as glasses. At least there was no rooster engraved in the backless seat (priviledged people should stop their complaining - there's nothing wrong with stools!), nor was there rooster on the menu.



If one were to expand the menu, you'd see pork and belly pork at that, which is exactly what X and I got -



Along with a crispy bacon sandwich with all sorts of yummies in it - a chili pepper sauce, carrots, cucumbers and great bread,



a goo'd time cat fish sandwich with the same dressings,



and a pulled oxtail sandwich? Yep -



We followed it by a soup infiltrated by pork:



Alcoholic beverages of mango and a lychee martini were had, and then it was off to Rice to Riches for coconut cream pudding for dessert. Yummy!





Thank you, X, for the goo'd times.

Saturday was fairly uneventful, until H1 grilled some lamb in the evening. It was then she had a bit of an asthmatic attack that she says I shouldn't talk about, thanks to a trigger of oven cleaner on the stove top and heat. It was horrid but she's okay now.

Oh yeah, we also baked cookies and we made a sugar cookie to represent the colour of H1's heart.



You're right Frass, it probably could be blacker.

Sunday, our cousins came over which was nice. Momma Hochie baked cakes that came out heavy thanks to a cold house and cold margarine.

After curry goat, channa & potatoes, beef pelau, roti, squash, cake, and pumpkin pie were eaten with joy, Boobey-Head, Luuuuuiiiisss, H1 and I headed off to the Jack O' Lantern Blaze at van Cortland Manor.

It was fun and frustrating trying to take pictures in the dark and some of the carvings were pretty spectacular. This year there was a Dinosaur exhibit, along with the Aquarium exhibit we saw three years ago, with pirates added. The snakes and spiders were also back, with a garden display (a pumpkin patch display? har har), skulls, bats and butterflies were floating about too.

Also new this year, were some awesomely carved white pumpkins, a scary clown patch, a pumpkin wedding and Thriller, complete with guitar riffs and cheesey music to boot, smoke screens and dancing zombies.

(click pictures to get larger view and the full effect!)



Snakes, Dinosaur Hatchlings, Spiders, Fish, Aliens, Oh My!











This clown looks awfully like drunk clown hiding in the bush. Runk like a skunk!





It was a pretty good weekend for the most part. It was quiet and sometimes entertaining...

No thanks to the peeps who are cut off!

Yeah, MC you're cut off as well because the wishes didn't come on the day but not really, because I always forget yours nor am I ever close to remembering.

No one's as clever as CLee who wished me Happy Halloween to distract from the fact that he was not the first to wish me well wishes.

Thanks to Alex for goo'd times with Flight of the Conchords.
Thanks to Bughie J. for defeating Takuman or at least, them bidders who outsmarted me for the past month. And all the music, too.
Thanks to Frass for giving me a charcoal-less monkey and D. Gray-Man figures.
Thanks to X for the Cambodian even though no tarantulas were harmed in the making of the meal and for a diamond filled kitty.
Thanks to Pumps and Jazz for waking my ass up at 2 and then again at 4.
Thanks to Momma HOchie & Papa HOchie for the sweaters.
Thanks to Bunji for my Nightmare Before Christmas figures, with the bug-eyed Sally and the very toxic green Oogey Boogey.
Thanks to H1 for suffering to make yummy lamb, and for Dragon Quest IV.
Thanks to Boobey for the Handisnacks, D. Gray-Man manga and a Blaze ticket.

Currently listening to: "Dancing Choose" by TV on the Radio. I gave them a chance since the album Dear Science got such great reviews (and made sure to research they're nothing like a band such as Panic at the Disco, since their names always remind me of each other) and I have to say, could they sound any more like some other bands I know? See: R.E.M. for "The End of the World" on this song, and a reminder of Bloc Party and others I know are out there. They're not bad though.

F Minus Minus All 'Round

Happy Halloween, Biatches.
Yep, it's that time of year again when the HOchies rate kids' costumes.
This won't be a very in-depth post like last year's, mostly due to the fact that this HOchie came home late and got a bunch of lazy costume-clathed children at the door.
They swarmed and were unimpressive.

The only kid that caught my attention this year and got an A was a little Agumon. He had a little tail as well.

Being that I had every intention of skipping Halloween this year, my costume was very last minute. I scared no children this year but I will give myself a D for effort for my rendition of Jack Skellington.

The only funny thing that happened today was the fact that I walked the streets of Manhattan with a jack o' lantern bucket full of bread and 5 pieces of candy in hand, like the ass that I am.

Maybe next year will be more exciting. I really hate it when my Birthday Month ends on a low. Halloween's usually my second favourite holiday.

The Birthday Month goes on and on and on.

Hochie 1... or 2 signing in.

It is really ass cold today but at least it is not raining anymore...

Hochie or 2 has already filled you in on its thoughts about the month so what do I have to add?
Well, to begin with I spent quite a trainload of mons on the birthday month because as we all know or will come to know, Hochie or 2 loves it some material wealth and that Hochie is quite wealthy. It really has been a good month so far with the U2 concert on the 7th that really was extraordinary as usual. Bono is still yummy even when he preaches. The Edge looks great, sounds great. Larry is sporting his Irish mohawk again but I still lurve him and Adam is as underappreciated as ever. Keane opened for them at the Garden and sounded better than expected but still the kind of band I appreciate more in the car rather than in concert. I totally recommend a U2 concert to anyone...even you out of your gourds, self-proclaimed "non-fans". I already converted 2 people and will continue to press on with that - an addendum to my life's work.

October 8: "Wallace and Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit" opened and we ventured forth we three to give Nick Park our money in the dead of night when we were sure that any responsible parent would have their offspring in bed. Surprised at the number of elderly couples there arsen around with us while two of us three thoroughly enjoyed W&G.

Week of October 9: So while it may not be the rain and storming of Katrina proportions, our part of the world labored under 7 days of rain which resulted in our basement becoming soaked and now smelly. Lots of wet vacuuming ensued but to no avail. The carpet is coming out and the work begins. I have too many books but in that vein, why are books not recyclable in this town? There are some that I cannot donate but that does not mean that I just want to throw them in the city dump since that seems such a crime. Crap for crap. We ended the work week us 2 and three more with the Foo Fighters/Weezer concert that I have to say kicked arse. Weezer is phenomenal. Rivers is chibi. The bassist Scott is the hottest geek I have ever seen and I am hating on that girl who cheated a qualified person a chance to play onstage with Weezer so she essentially ruined some person's chance, Weezer's wonderful overture and gave me a few days of murderous thoughts.
[Give me a few lines more here on this because I have to get it out of my system - What part of "okay, we need someone who can really play acoustic guitar to come up here and help us out on Undone" did she not understand??!! Wait, wait, she must be of lesser intelligence or was caught up in a selfish moment or just really wanted to look like a ginormous idiot or all. Her parents must be so proud, which reminds me that I am hating on them too for producing that piece of quality from their loins. Okay. Done.]
Foo Fighters rocked. Us 2 sat down for "My Hero" and I would have sat down for "Monkey Wrench" if not for the fact that they closed the show with that song. Thank you Kurt Cobain for the Foo Fighters.

October 15: We set off to the Jack O'Lantern Blaze last night and were wowed by some of the alleged 3,000 pumpkins that were carved and decorating the Van Cortlandt Manor estate. I feel that for 12USD, I should not have had to suffer so many creative-less pumpkins that littered my eyesight at the beginning of the trail but they were nearly forgotten by the time we got to the celtic section and then the underwater series. Quite impressive. Of course, after getting my blood pressure down and feeling a smile in my heart that made its way to my face, we were herded into a gift shop! I almost ran over a kid trying to get out of there to preserve the smile in my heart if not on my face. On another note, We 2 were quite amused to see Jeebus carved on a few pumpkins showing the world that Pagans and Christians can coexist even if it is on a little orange pumpkin.

Audioslave on the 29th. The good times go on and on.

The Baby Next Door has turned Terrible Two and we are worried.


Song for the Day: "Perfect Situation" - Weezer
Show for the Day: Samurai Champloo
Thought for the Day: Killing Chu Chus is not as satisfactory as chopping bushes.

Laters.