Bathroom Etiquette

The constant trauma of using the restroom at work has finally led to a meltdown and a few clever ideas.

Today, on two separate occasions, I found two unwanted nasties sitting proudly within the bowels of two separate bowls.

Mortified and ill I remained for a better part of the morning upon finding suspect number 1, which by the way was a Number 2. I recovered sometime after lunch, only to have a relapse when I discovered the second monstrosity later that afternoon.

A gross misuse of the facilities has prompted a suggestion be made 'anonymously' to the higher ups.

Due to people and their shit, signs should litter the bathroom with the slogan: LFW

"Did You Remember To:

Look,
Flush,
Wash*?"

*Yes, there have been instances of non-hand washers too.
Disgusting? Beyond that, yeah.

What's so hard about looking before you leave, people?

Currently listening to: "Solve et Coagula" by Mudvayne, but really hearing "Mr. Hankey The Christmas Poo" in my head. For shame. Remember that one son with the piece of corn stuck in it? Blech.

Goodbye Kitty

I am kitty-sitting. Pumpkin and Jazzie are good little kitties but one of my favourite people recently said to me (from now on we'll refer to him as Clownie) -"You should just eat them..."

It gets better.

Me: If they give me trouble?

Clownie: No, trouble or not, they should just be eaten.

Me: I see...you know I could eat some cat dumplings right about now.

Clownie: There you go. I'm sure Momma HoChie has all types of recipes she could bring up for them...you know, like that Japanese cat. What was it called again? Hello...

Me: Hello Kitty?

Clownie: Hello Kitty. Yes, I'm sure there must be recipes for this 'Hello Kitty' or rather, 'Goodbye Kitty'.

I'm on a quest to create a whole line of "Goodbye Kitty" recipes.

This is how TheHOchies will be rich.