The Situation Just Gets Worse

Some weeks ago, the inevitable happened - the brown multiplied.

H1 and I walked into the kitchen for lunch, to discover that the regular forks and knives were finished and replaced with cousins of the smug, shit brown spoon.



As if that was not bad enough, some weeks later, I walked to my desk first thing on a Monday morning and discovered that someone had left me a face mask.



A face mask.

At first I thought someone was trying to offend me by giving me a face mask because I am part Asian and I'd need it to protect against the wrongly named Swine Flu (stop the pig hate!), but then I realised everyone at work got them.

How do I feel about these new developments?



That pretty much sums it up.

Effin' Smug!

Yesterday, while reading an article on CNN's Ticker about McCain's thoughts on Palin's bid for presidency in 2012 should she run, I was reading the comments section and stumbled upon this:

March 30th, 2009 11:56 am ET

I suppose you can call me some sort of weird alien, but while the world continues to use the malware ridden windows operating system. I alternatively use mac osx, while the world supports the previous administration despite them leaving us in devastated recession, I voted for Obama, a man of high intellectual properties and vision. When Obama leaves the white house, I will be leaving the united states to another country. I can no longer take the stupidity of Americans. I have had enough of the stupid do more with less policy of idiot corporate america, outsourcing jobs to 3rd world countries while our citizens starve and go homeless. I have had enough, if Palin/Jindal is our only other alternative, there is no reason for me to be in this country.

...what? I fail to see what one thing has to do with the other or why that was even necessary but it's people like that that make me want to smack them (and that's why I smacked you CLee, even though I apologise because it was a little too hard but only because you are my frenemie)!

I understand the irony of it all - my computer has been infected by a virus and is currently being repaired but what shart do you think I was greeted with last night when I came home?

"Why is my speaker on...and why is the monitor on...Oh."

There was a mac sitting here.

Thanks, Bunji. Thanks for sullying my room.

Yes, I am using it to write this right now but I'm not unaccustomed to having my hands on shit.

Why, just 4 minutes ago I scooped up some nasty cheese nip Pumpkin the cat crap.

Going Green

Sometimes "going green" translates to "going brown", or so it would seem by what The HOchieS have seen recently.

It's not that Or 2 doesn't like Earth, Or 2 just has a problem with GDDHs.

It's all well and good to do our parts to not waste because wasting is just wrong to begin with, and recycling's a cool thing too. Why not do it?

There is a problem though, when things are recycle to the colour of 'shit brown'.

H1 can tell you a story from years ago about the belief that toilet paper in Caracas was recycled using used toilet paper.

It was shit brown.

So, keeping this in mind, I've been having a hard time of it lately.

We walked into the kitchen at work some weeks ago, and discovered the hard plastic cups and paper cups were replaced with cups that had a tinge of... you guessed it, shit brown to them, when stacked.

Phased enough just to take note, we've been drinking from those cups just fine. They tend to get dirty with finger prints quite quickly and while a little skeevey, it's not horrible.

But then we witnessed monstrosity a few weeks later, Exhibit A:





A shit brown spoon.

Not keen on the colour or texture but with no other choice than using our hands to eat cereal which was not going to happen, Or 2 braved it while that bastard H1 took the last white plastic spoon.

Just a spoon, right?

Sure.

A spoon that tasted like shit!

Let it be known that I wash them before use.

Bathroom Etiquette

The constant trauma of using the restroom at work has finally led to a meltdown and a few clever ideas.

Today, on two separate occasions, I found two unwanted nasties sitting proudly within the bowels of two separate bowls.

Mortified and ill I remained for a better part of the morning upon finding suspect number 1, which by the way was a Number 2. I recovered sometime after lunch, only to have a relapse when I discovered the second monstrosity later that afternoon.

A gross misuse of the facilities has prompted a suggestion be made 'anonymously' to the higher ups.

Due to people and their shit, signs should litter the bathroom with the slogan: LFW

"Did You Remember To:

Look,
Flush,
Wash*?"

*Yes, there have been instances of non-hand washers too.
Disgusting? Beyond that, yeah.

What's so hard about looking before you leave, people?

Currently listening to: "Solve et Coagula" by Mudvayne, but really hearing "Mr. Hankey The Christmas Poo" in my head. For shame. Remember that one son with the piece of corn stuck in it? Blech.