Bathroom Etiquette

The constant trauma of using the restroom at work has finally led to a meltdown and a few clever ideas.

Today, on two separate occasions, I found two unwanted nasties sitting proudly within the bowels of two separate bowls.

Mortified and ill I remained for a better part of the morning upon finding suspect number 1, which by the way was a Number 2. I recovered sometime after lunch, only to have a relapse when I discovered the second monstrosity later that afternoon.

A gross misuse of the facilities has prompted a suggestion be made 'anonymously' to the higher ups.

Due to people and their shit, signs should litter the bathroom with the slogan: LFW

"Did You Remember To:

Look,
Flush,
Wash*?"

*Yes, there have been instances of non-hand washers too.
Disgusting? Beyond that, yeah.

What's so hard about looking before you leave, people?

Currently listening to: "Solve et Coagula" by Mudvayne, but really hearing "Mr. Hankey The Christmas Poo" in my head. For shame. Remember that one son with the piece of corn stuck in it? Blech.

Did You Know That...

...Akon was born Aliaune Damala Bouga Time Puru Nacka Lu Lu Lu Badara Akon Thiam (source Wikipedia.org)?

Is this Senegalese for cockroach?

Manhattan was a Chamber of Farts

But it's no surprise that NJ is always a Chamber of Farts.

Monday saw this HOchie ready to dash out of Manhattan. Yep, thanks to the Mysterious Odor which is still a mystery, we're all going to die.

I'm currently drafting my will, as many of you know. Here's the tentative list thus far:
I've got Beetchie for dibs on my 80GB but on the stipulation that she hands her 30GB over to HOchie 1;

TD5 gets some of my dvds (Evil Dead? and whatever else you can think of);

Baby B wants my fridge and sleep sack;

Battler gets some of my stuffed animals (whatever HOchie 1 doesn't keep);

X gets nothing because she'll be coming with me since we both breathed in the odor;

my Miyamoto signed Link comes with me to the grave since I'll need protection in the next world;

Char Kar...I can't think of anything I have that'd you want;

MC gets nothing because he's D.T.U., besides which, he claims he can make it on his own, not to mention he'd probably just share my shit with Jamaicans & various Yardies;

HOchie 1 gets everything else, including my precious Wii since Beetchie is ungrateful;

and SF...

Well, exactly where is SF in all of this? Does anyone know?

X has a theory and it's one of the quotes of the day:

"Where's SF? I haven't heard from him..." - Me.
"Ummm, I told you! (they're trying to pinpoint it in Jersey City) SF exploded. SF = Gas. That's my story and I'm sticking to it." - X.

Other quotes -

"It's either a terrorist plot or a government experiment. It was a test to see how far they could get away with things and we all failed." - Aims.
"And you're thinking this way, not that I don't agree with you, but it's 'cause you watch too much 24." - Me.

Am I Surprised? Not Really.

Let the record show that I've been an advocate for the death of onions, onion family vegetables including the green onion or scallion and California since the day I was born:


First lawsuit filed in E.coli outbreak

Officials believe they may have found the source

Eyewitness News
(New Hyde Park - WABC, December 7, 2006) - The first lawsuit in the wake of this week's E.coli outbreak was filed Thursday.

They say the contamination may have come from an onion grower in California, with scallions sprinkled on top of food at Taco Bell infecting customers.
A family on Long Island filed a lawsuit against Taco Bell for millions of dollars Thursday after an 11-year old boy got sick after eating at a restaurant.

copyright 2006 WABC - TV

WTF?!

I just saw a horrible "music" "video". Can someone explain to me why Paris the stupid ass fugly whore bitch Hilton is a. trying to be Gwen Stefani and b. is borderline molesting little boys in her videos?! That kid can't be more than 14!

Can someone report her for child molestation??!!

Disgusting.