Putting the "ass" in Picasso

Ripped Picasso 'will be repaired for exhibition' in New York



Associated Press in New York


guardian.co.uk, Monday 25 January 2010 19.32 GMT


New York's Metropolitan Museum of Art says a Picasso painting damaged by a visitor will be repaired in time for its exhibition of his work in April.


The Actor, from Picasso's rose period, now has a 15cm (6in) tear in the canvas's lower right-hand corner after a woman lost her balance and fell on the painting on Friday during an art class.


The restored painting will be displayed as planned in the exhibition of 250 Picasso works drawn from the museum's collection, which will run from 27 April to 1 August. The museum has owned the painting since 1952.
 
- published by the Associated Press
 
 

 
H1 was trying to start a story that perhaps this unfortunate girl (who thankfully is not Sons and has also scared me off from going to any museums anytime soon...though you know if I were to take a tumble into Edward Scissorshands' scissorshands at the MOMA, it'd make for a bloody, fun yet not so much story)tumbled rear end first into "The Actor".
 
If that is the case, then all I would have to say is that that ass has some seriously incredible destructive properties.

A Horse to Water

What's that saying about leading horses to water?

It doesn't apply to cats.

Here's the water. I'm leading him just by showing it to him.



And he drinks!





A horse he is not, but a ham? Indeed.

Another Example of Assiness

There's been lots of assiness on this blog lately but sometimes that's how it goes.

For instance, had I not received the Bowery E-mail Concert Alert, I would never have known that the stupid effin' NIN show at Terminal 5 was going to be having a pre-sale yesterday via my hated Ticketmaster, complete with pre-sale password.

How cranky would I have been next week had I gone on to get tickets through NIN.com to do the general public sale only to discover that Ticketmaster for the millionth time in the history of Ticketmaster shart, sold out the entire show during the pre-sale?!

Because of course you know, it already has, right? I checked this morning.

Psh.

If all goes well, I will be attending one of NIN's final shows in August AND I get to see The Horrors!

H1 will probably be a cranky beast with me when she sees them but I will take my beating when that time comes.

I also need to prepare some chicken bones for Trent for the grievances of the past two years or so.

Currently: Wondering why Pumpkin insists on jumping on my desk blocking my view of the computer, even though he knows he's not supposed to be here.

Assed

It's not necessarily "Assed Out" in a sense but certainly, when The HOchieS & Co. (see how I made use of "& Co.", H1? You should be proud!) see U2 later this year, this is how it's going to be -

Being that U2 claims this is the 360 Tour, so that no matter where you sit in the stadium you won't be "Assed Out", I'm not too worried about our seating area for them.

But being that I don't really care too much since U2's new album sucks an ass, I'll consider myself "Assed Out" anyway.

When it comes time to see MUSE however, well...let's just say we'll be Assed.



Currently listening to: "What's This?" by Danny Elfman, from The Nightmare Before Christmas Original Soundtrack.

Sometimes Walking Around in the City Can Be Dangerous

There's danger to our eyes on the daily but yesterday had H1 gagging a little by what we were walking behind.



Here is she is trying to pull up -



Butt ultimately, it was a failure.



Currently: Running late for work.

Rock Band 2

Man, I sound extra REALLY horrible when I've got a frog in my throat. It's a good thing no one's around to hear me massacre the already awful "Living on a Prayer" by Bon Jovi. Effin' Bon Jovi... Though, I did get five stars, so I'm wondering if this frog is the key to Jovi and will help get five stars on that other ass song, "Wanted Dead or Alive"...

Also, I love Rock Band Zarnyx.

I made him and while he's not exactly how I draw him, he's still pretty cute. For a while there he had a goth personality but then when he did some sort of shimmy that pissed me off so bad (and as a goth, why was he always bopping his head and smiling??!!), I deleted him and remade him with a Metal personality.

Now he's an asshole.

Ha.

Metal Heads.

Currently listening to: "Psycho Killer" by Talking Heads. I forgot how damned cool this song is.

Things We Don't Like To See

Ass shaped chocolate covered almonds are bad enough,



with holes is just revolting.

Currently listening to: "Tenteko Mai Mai!" by Toshiro Matsuda, from the Di Gi Charat Soundtrack. One of them, anyway.

Hello Kitty Tries To Get Frisky With Beetchie's Caliente Culo

Why. Why. Why.

This is the first of the Random Posts for tonight. We were on a roll today. But why is it about Amy Winehouse. Again?

Maybe it had something to do with what dlisted.com was reporting, something about rumours thus far are that the DAAWD (Diseased Alcoholic Anorexic Whore Druggie) - (for those of you not keeping track of our assessment of her) may appear in the next Bond movie.



And the conversation that ensued -

H1: ewwwww
Or 2: ew, what?
H1: http://dlisted.com/node/9622 (this will take you to the article)
Or 2: is this going to upset me? .... She'll die before that happens. She'll die before she's made Bond Girl.
H1: her feet are huuuuge
Or 2: her feet are as large as her head. She looks like something that crawled out of a mossy, dead tree stump. A troll? Yeah, that's it.



(troll source: howardlyon.com)

TD5. You REALLY need to stop.

The 2nd Nominee for Ass of the Year Award

Who knew that James Blunt was not only an asshole but a stupid one at that?

Who leaves a model (who lost her boyfriend in the Tsunami), first to skank it up with a fire crotch, and now for that crabby crotch disease monger?

A stupid asshole. That's who.

So far, The Nominees for Ass of the Year include ...

So Don Imus got the ax from CBS because he jokingly called the Rutgers female basketball team some "Nappy-Headed Hos". Way to go Stupid. Now, I am not saying that that was a smart thing to say, because it wasn't, but people have been saying all sorts of shit lately and Don Imus is the only ass who has had serious life-changing repercussions fall on him.

Let us compare the most recent shit talk.

A few months ago Isaiah Washington refered to his co-star T.R. Knight as a "Faggot". Hmmm... Isaiah apologized, made a big show of going to some sort of rehab, donated some money, is pretending that he is not a hateful ass but is still earning himself and that network mucho dinero because last time I checked Grey's anatomy was still in business with all of its cast intact. I guess it is okay to call someone a really awful derogatory name once it is not done in a jocular fashion because then THAT would be serious.

Now, let me rant about the other issues that the Imus incident has raised.

Firstly, Don Imus is now a major news headliner when he should just have been allowed to fade into obscurity as he was doing since noone really cared or knew about his foolish self before this.
Secondly, here are Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson riding in on their Black Horses to highlight their moral outrage on behalf of all Black people, especially their Black sisters. PLEASE, give me a freakin' break. First off, stop carrying on as if you speak for the Black community and secondly, stop trying to carry off all this moral bullshit when You, Jesse Jackson, Reverend, have all these illegitimate children out there and You, Al Sharpton, Reverend? or just likes to sound like one?, should talk more about your affinity for WHITE Prostitutes. Media Asses or Media Hos?
Thirdly, I really love how Jesse Jackson totally avoided the question posed by Meredith Viera about his reference to NYC as "HYMIETOWN". Oh no, not racist at all when you consider it was only Jews he was talking about in a serious derogatory manner.

Epiphany time. I guess it really is not a big deal when one speaks nastily about Homosexuals and Jews. After all, who cares about them?

Gosh, I am an angry Chinky Ho. But only I, and people of my racial descent can use that slur. Noone else.

I have to go to bed.

- H1

Okay

Keith Richards: 'I Snorted My Father'

LONDON (AP) -- Keith Richards has acknowledged consuming a raft of illegal substances in his time, but this may top them all. In comments published Tuesday, the 63-year-old Rolling Stones guitarist said he had snorted his father's ashes mixed with cocaine.

"The strangest thing I've tried to snort? My father. I snorted my father," Richards was quoted as saying by British music magazine NME.

"He was cremated and I couldn't resist grinding him up with a little bit of blow. My dad wouldn't have cared," he said. "... It went down pretty well, and I'm still alive."

Richards' father, Bert, died in 2002, at 84.

Richards, one of rock's legendary wild men, told the magazine that his survival was the result of luck, and advised young musicians against trying to emulate him.

"I did it because that was the way I did it. Now people think it's a way of life," he was quoted as saying.

"I've no pretensions about immortality," he added. "I'm the same as everyone ... just kind of lucky.

"I was No. 1 on the `who's likely to die' list for 10 years. I mean, I was really disappointed when I fell off the list," Richards said.

© 2007 The Associated Press. All rights reserved

If his father didn't mind, then who are we to judge?

Did You Know That...

...Akon was born Aliaune Damala Bouga Time Puru Nacka Lu Lu Lu Badara Akon Thiam (source Wikipedia.org)?

Is this Senegalese for cockroach?

Again with the assholeness of mcr.

Beetchie and I saw the cover of this month's Spin Magazine the other night and noticed a quote pulled from an interview with my chemical romance (out of sheer disgust and disrespect for this 'band', I will no longer address them with capital letters) plastered on the cover. It read the following,

"Kids were killing themselves until they heard our music."

I am not lying. That is what we saw.

Beetchie's description of them as arrogant assholes is nothing short of fitting.

My response ...

I want to kill myself BECAUSE I heard your music.

Fuck you, mcr.

Long Overdue

This is a post about the assness that is 30 Seconds to Mars.

And the warning - This IS a Music Elitist rant.

I don't know if I posted about them before other than that they were alright as an opening act for Audioslave.

Yes, I didn't know Jared Leto had a band at that time. I soon found out but did I blog about the fact that I got their cd as a gift and was really pissed off when I tried playing it?

I don't know who they think they are but whenever a band copy protects their cd, it makes me really angry. If I have a cd and cannot convert it to play it on my Ipod then it just doesn't get played.

Yes, Ipod/Itunes sucks for having certain media format as well but it is my choice of format and has been for years now. Mp3s are great things. And I don't mind going the extra step to convert different formats to mp3s. But when a band goes out of their way to make sure that I can't convert easily then that's a problem, especially if I, or someone I know, has spent money to buy it.

That just makes me lose interest in listening.

So, I've had beef with 30 Seconds To Mars ever since. But now, I've even more reason... (the following article was found on www.IMDB.com)

Leto Tried To Choke Wood at Awards Show


Elijah Wood was shocked when he was attacked by Jared Leto at an awards show recently, because The Lord Of The Rings star said he didn't like Leto's band.

The 26-year-old star was attending the MTVU Woodie Awards in November when Leto, who is the lead singer of cult act 30 Seconds To Mars, approached his table. Leto came over, whispered in Wood's ear and walked away, but then turned around, grabbed him by the throat and called him a "f**king a**hole."

Wood tells Jane magazine, "He was basically upset at the fact that I said I didn't like his band. He said that initially and walked away. I guess he thought I was laughing at him, but I was more shell-shocked and telling people around me, 'Whoa, I just got told off by Jared Leto for not liking his band.' And that's when he came back and grabbed me." He adds, "I told Jared it wasn't personal. He acted like I'd been disrespecting him or speaking about his family. Things like that don't usually happen to me. I'm very non-confrontational. The whole thing was kind of ridiculous."

Why...would you ever think to hurt a little Hobbit?
Why?

Another Rant From a "Music Elitist" & A Message To Sid The Voodoo Doll

When I first heard Hinder's song "Lips of an Angel" or whatever the fudge it's called, I thought to myself, 'oh wonderful, another song that Nickelback has put out that sounds exactly like all their other songs.' I found out soon after that it was indeed a 'different' band.

That was complaint number 1 and strike 1 against Hinder.

Then I saw their video on VH1. "Oh, it's those people who sound like Nickelback and oh my word, what is that...flail of the hand the lead singer is doing? Listen dude, there's only one person who can pull that move and it's Mick Jagger. Mick Jagger you are not. Put that hand down!" Here's an example of the hand (it's the ass in front but really, you people don't need me to point him out):



That was complaint number 2 and strike 2 against Hinder.

Complaint Number 3 went something like this: "Ugh, what's this shit? Hinder on Z100? Oh god, it's all over." Let me explain something about Z100, but first, let me say in my defense that my ears only happened upon Z100 because I was in the car with Papa HOchie who does not have Sirius and listens to the Morning Zoo on his commute.
Anyway, my point about Z100 is that once a 'rock band' has made it to Z100's daily regular rotation of music, I no longer consider the band 'rock' or a 'band' for that matter. As far as I'm concerned, once a song hits Z100, it becomes pop even if the band didn't intend it to be that way. While it may be economically sound for a band to reach that status (because it's the equivalent to being 'big' since teenie boppers and the like will probably go out and spend money on whatever album the track originated), credibility as 'rock' music becomes an issue. Z100 caters to an audience that is generally not rock based. And while it's rare that the occasional U2 is tossed on there, the disclaimer for them is that as the biggest rock band in the world, they're on all stations, even dance onces that mask their songs in a club remix.

Yes yes, today, again I was designated a "music elitist" by my friends. The amount of time I spent writing this makes me so, and an annoying one at that but anyway, Hinder got Strike 3.

From a Rolling Stone magazine interview with the band Hinder:

You seem to really have your biggest following in the middle of the country. Is that something you'd agree with?
Austin Winkler: I would definitely agree as far as NY and LA with some of that artsy bullshit like OK GO, bands like that. I think they're a bunch of fairies. I mean, they got on MTV , the VMA awards and they got on there and danced like a broadway show. That's not fucking rock 'n roll, that's not rock 'n roll at all.

We get what you mean about OK Go and some of the bands that really are popular on the coasts, but what do you think it is about you guys that appeals to people?
AW: We have good songs, I would say. Their songs suck, I mean what the fuck? They sold 4,000 albums a week and then that treadmill fairy shit comes on the fucking TV and they only sold 4,000 more records a week because the song sucks.

Do you guys know them? You seem to have a real specific fixation with them, have you met them or anything?
Cody Hanson: No, it's just seeing their fucking stupid-ass faces on the T.V. all the time, it pisses me the fuck off.

But I paid no mind until I discovered the above article and the fact that this crap 'band' had beef with OK Go.

Let's talk about OK Go:



Many will say that their video for "Here It Goes Again" makes them a novelty act and a gimmick. Well, I'll be damned but their gimmick worked because after their MTV Video Music Awards performance this year, I actually went out and did a little research on them. I listened to enough tracks to decide "hell, I'm going to take a chance on these guys and buy their album." I did, and much to my pleasure, I really loved it. They're fun and their music is representative of that as well. The VMA performance...I believe that's called "marketing".

The way I see it, the video is just that. A video. They've been accused of having a dance video. And yes, I saw that too. "A Million Ways" is a dance video and hilarious at that but that's what they do. They make hilarious videos. A video can make or break you in my eyes. They're creative in their own right.
How different are they from say, Tool, who uses animation (and brilliant animation at that) in their videos? That's what Tool does but no one questions their credibility as a rock band and no one goes to their concerts expecting an entire sequence made out of claymation.
And Radiohead's got some of the most bizarre videos out there but they're known for that and their stellar performances in concert that don't involve anything more than a great band performing music (not that I would know because frickin' Radiohead sells out in seconds before I ever get a chance to buy tickets but mark my words, the HOchies WILL be at one of their concerts in the future).

Record sales not that great? Hey, sometimes internet success doesn't cross over well. It happens. And maybe millions think the song sucks but whatever, my entire point is actually to say, any band that sounds so much like another (and not one that's truly great in my opinion) really isn't justified to talk shit about anyone else.

(A side note on Hinder - I checked out their website and they keep a blog. It's the most incoherent garbage I've read in a while, other than my last 3 paragraphs, but all it involved was how many shots some guy did. THAT is rock n' roll. Yep. Drugs and alcohol. But for crap sake, if you're going to do drugs and heavy drinking, do it right! At least make good music. Yeesh.)

I could be wrong though...I mean, thousands of people made Paris Hilton's album debut at number 2 or was it 1? I don't recall but I mean, it must make Paris Hilton a really talented musician. Millions of people can't be wrong, right?

But then again, millions thought the earth was flat too.

Please Sid, continue doing your job...:



Currently listening to: "Oh Lately It's So Quiet" by OK Go.