Gil Toss: The "Rock God" Edition

Silver, spiked-up and gravity defying hair: $275.  Green eyes sparkle mischievously behind non-hipster black frames: $150.  Straps every where and any where on tight, black pants and there are enough of them to rival a Final Fantasy pretty boy's outfit: $500.  A delivery boy button down shirt in the best colour a mosh pit can produce: which is of course blood red: $322.  Black, tall boots with studs, spikes and laces untied: $410.  A tattoo of a soul in despair on his wrist: DIY Colour by Numbers, $0.  Rings designed to inflict pain when a face is punched: $60.  The vocal range of a raspy demon to the highs of an angel: $1000/hour.  Having a 3D figurine of your favourite Rock God to be displayed proudly on your shelf for all your celebrity Rock Star crush needs? Priceless.  Wait, no.  Actually, I think it was $85.

Flashback: The Oxtails

Testing. Testing. 1 - 2 - 3.  Nope, getting feedback from speaker 1. ...Testing.  Yes, all clear. Give me a drum beat.  Perfect.  What is that ringing? Johnny, Mic 2 is offline. ...it’s offline.  I SAID MIC TWO IS OFFLINE! HOW MANY TIMES I GOTTA SAY IT?! Man, roadies.  It’s as if they don’t like to work on a Flashback Friday.  Sheesh.

Drugs.  Babies.  Veterinarian school.  Rock.  Band Dissent.  Murder? This is the story of The Oxtails, a band that started in the suburbs of New York in 2007 and enjoyed World Wide success until some time in 2011.
Piecing together the history of the Oxtails was wrought with mystery until recently when pages from the Diary of the band's lead singer, Zarnyx recently surfaced on Ebay, and were sold for a mere $66.60.

Cruelty

A few nerd remarks.

1. I knew Kakashi was dead! I can't believe he was really killed off! For about 4 months? I just had to read it on Wiki to see what was going on with him. It made me depressed reading that damned manga. Awww, my Kakashi.

2. I have been waiting for Rock Band to do the cool thing and add Tv on the Radio and Arctic Monkeys to their setlist. Instead we have MTV controlling what they put on there sometimes and we've been getting bullshit like...the Jonas Brothers? Really, Rock Band. I'm beginning to be really angry with you and your bullshit!

And what's worse? Now I find out that I'd be waiting forever if I waited on you assholes!

How could you let Guitar Hero 1up you?!

Tch.

Update 6/01/09: I'll retract the grievances against Rock Band for the lack of TV on the Radio because as it turns out, there's one track as dlc this week but that does still not cover Arctic Monkeys. So, Rock Band, you're still on the stupid assholes list! And where's your Tool, while I'm at it? Also... a little "Dear Science" from TV on the Radio would also be welcome, thank you.

Guitar Hero 5 and Guitar Hero: World Tour, I'm aimin' for you in September.

Burn!

It was an insult to Paramore and Hot Topic.

I was playing Rock Band 2 last night and chose some song in Austin TX. I think it was Sonic Youth but I'm not sure. Whatever it was, it was totally cool rock song by a considered to be cool rock band.

The joker creators at Rock Band tossed Zarnyx a question.

Essentially I was asked, "Hot Topic wants to sponsor your gig but wants you to sing Paramore's 'That's What You Get' instead. You'll get lots of cash for it. Do you want to switch songs?"

Well, that certainly sounded fishy - Hot Topic and Paramore in one sentence? Yeah. I mean, it sounds about right but suspect at best.

Anyone who knows Paramore is probably an emo I don't want to deal with. Probably. The lead singer surely is an annoying little emo girl but I digress.

Anyone who knows Hot Topic knows that it was slightly cool when it was unknown all the years when. And then emo happened and Hot Topic thought they should go in the direction of the Emo. You can't really blame them because Emo kids are usually privileged children who have their parents money (and lots of it), self-made depression, and less than stellar taste in music.

Beetchie, shut up! I am not Emo! And I'm not whining, that was a forceful "Shut Your Ass" kind of Shut Up, I can assure you.

I digress again.

So, lured by curiosity and extra money to get more piercings (not that I would spend money without your approval, Band Manager H1), I went ahead and sold out.

After I finished the gig, Rock Band made sure to drive it hard that I had Sold Out in case I was Emo and didn't realise that having Hot Topic sponsor me and singing Paramore is anything but the coolest thing since crying.



You see that, right?

I LOST 30,000 fans.

Ahahaha. That was true greatness. I only got $250 too. Tch. Cheap bastards.

To the assholes who are paying attention to the fact that I got five stars on Paramore, it's just that like that time with that ass song by Fall Out Boy, I had to learn the damned song in order not to fail and I'd be damned if I let any of those assholes make me a fail a song.

Anyway.

They're grainy but here are some pictures of my beloved Zarnyx in Rock Band 2 form. I'll take better pictures at some point.





He is of course, wearing an awesome red jacket that he was born with, Band Manager H1 and not bought without consulting you first.

Currently listening to: "Get Clean" by Anarchy Club. I finally found this song. I didn't unlock it yet in Rock Band 2 but I always hear it at the start up load screen and I love the music. The lyrics leave much to be desired but I can just ignore them.

Rock Band 2

Man, I sound extra REALLY horrible when I've got a frog in my throat. It's a good thing no one's around to hear me massacre the already awful "Living on a Prayer" by Bon Jovi. Effin' Bon Jovi... Though, I did get five stars, so I'm wondering if this frog is the key to Jovi and will help get five stars on that other ass song, "Wanted Dead or Alive"...

Also, I love Rock Band Zarnyx.

I made him and while he's not exactly how I draw him, he's still pretty cute. For a while there he had a goth personality but then when he did some sort of shimmy that pissed me off so bad (and as a goth, why was he always bopping his head and smiling??!!), I deleted him and remade him with a Metal personality.

Now he's an asshole.

Ha.

Metal Heads.

Currently listening to: "Psycho Killer" by Talking Heads. I forgot how damned cool this song is.

August 1st - 4th

The world has not yet ended even though I was of the camp "the world will end once that atom smasher is turned on!". Considering that I am unsure if it has even been turned on yet will probably have you believing that I did not really think a Black Hole would form and sucks us all down. That may be partially true but only because the Discovery Channel told me that Operation Impending Doom III was set to begin in 2012, so that's the date I'm going by really. The Discovery Channel never lies! That's probably how long it'd take that Black Hole to form anyway...

In the meanwhile, the HOchieS have been enjoying the company of Hochie favourites - Beetchie & Alex, with Frass and MC tagging along. Heh.

On Friday, we went to see The Dark Knight. It was quite a good movie and as Batman should be but it made me sad to see Heath. It's not as if I loved Heath when he was still with us but I didn't dislike him either. Seeing him with all his finite lines and creep behaviour just makes it all the more tragic.
Other than that, Gary Oldman was fantastic but not as fantastic as Frass and I keeping an eye on MC and Alex to ensure they were not sleeping (as both are notorious for such things) and sure enough, within the first five minutes MC had fallen asleep.
And it was during a bank robbery! What the eff.

After getting out of the theatre early with a date of 5 PM for dinner, SOME people were starvin' and needed to get food earlier. Since we were to meet Beetchie for dinner, we decided to go to Applebee's for some mini-burgers, wings and drinks.

This was followed by Pongsri which as always was a fun time with good eats had by all. I had about a million quotes to add to this but can't remember any of it. We're such messes.

Saturday proved rather crazy. I almost made Frass hate me for life (which I'm sure he does already but maybe had this gone the way it could have, he would hate on me with intent to destroy). I did not have my phone on me, so I missed his call telling me that he was on the 11.45 train. I only got that message at 1.40, which means he would have been waiting at the train station for an hour for us to pick him up. It turns out rain saved my ass by falling so hard and fierce that it flooded the tracks and he was delayed for an hour extra. So while my ass was saved, his was napping on the train. All in all, it worked out for all parties involved.

Beetchie and Sufi showed up an hour after the potential debacle with a box full of baos and a bag full of crabs with gundys not secure. Well, those crabs were rather entertaining especially the one that was super fiesty:



We rocked the Rock Band, had patties, jerk chicken with rice and peas and chatted. Oh yeah, and there was a huge fight over some molten lava cake between Sufi and Beetchie that I tried to stay away from but it was near impossible since the fight spilled over right into Sunday afternoon.

As a treat for the Oxymorons, The Oxtails completed the World Tour and are now in the Hall of Fame. We went in lookin' like whores being mostly unclothed and ended up purchasing threads for the Apocalyptic "future" and ummm, feathers. I now have a jellyfish microphone and Beetchie has a gas mask. I think she may have been trying to tell me something but I ignore her.

Monday morning saw the eating of dim sum with Beetchie, a pepper flake that got stuck in my throat and a long uneventful day at work after that. Ah well.

Now I'm back to how my August months usually are - boring.

I hate August.

Currently listening to: "Spiralling" by Keane. Uhhh, okay, I was SO not expecting this bad '70s + '80s Sound AT ALL. Wow. and "The Escapist" by The Streets. If this song is any indication of what the new The Streets album is like, I might have to take Mike Skinner's advice and push things forward by getting someone else's album; and "Midna's Desperate Hour" by Koji Kondo and Toru Minegishi, from the Legend of Zelda: The Twilight Princess Original Soundtrack. This game was damned nightmarish!

Sending Out an S.O.S.

People, Rock Band is proving to be an expensive venture, as if it wasn't pricey before. I just bought us song add ons. Some requests came from some of you, some I wanted on my own and let me just tell you, I spent $30.95 on 15 songs. What the eff!

To borrow a famous quote from Beetchie, if I may: You owe me money.

Oh yeah, and have no fear The Police fans, "Message in a Bottle" isn't one currently in the library but only because it's not out yet.

Songs Bought 02/18/2008:

"Little Sister", "3's & 7's", and "Sick, Sick, Sick" - Queens of the Stone Age Pack
"Live Forever", "Don't Look Back in Anger", and "Wonderwall" - Oasis Pack
"Brass in Pocket" as made famous by the Pretenders
"Attack" by 30 Seconds to Mars
"Interstate Love Song" by Stone Temple Pilots
"My Iron Lung" by Radiohead
"War Pigs" as made famous by Black Sabbath
"Roam" by the B-52's
"Buddy Holly" by Weezer
"Roxanne" by The Police
"Moonage Daydream" by David Bowie

Currently listening to: "Little Sister" by Queens of the Stone Age

Saturday and Sunday

The HOchieS had fun this weekend. We saw some snow, which incidentally is no fun for H1, we ate chinese food for breakfast and Budgie HOchie the Third and Angel came around for a visit.

What did we do together?

We played Rock Band and let me just tell you, Boobey Head and Boobey Face can sing.

Songs were mastered with the elusive five stars on the tracks that we love most but just couldn't quite nail including "Creep" by Radiohead, "Maps" by Yeah Yeah Yeahs, "The Hand That Feeds" by NIN and "Say It Ain't So" by Weezer.

Three stars were made on the ones we didn't know and five on the ones we didn't think we could ever make, such as "Run To The Hills" by Iron Maiden (who knew I'd get it on the first try?!) and some we were embarrassed by i.e "Dead on Arrival" by Fall Out Boy. Ugh.

All this happened because quote,

H1: You needed me. I am not only your Band Manager but I am also your muse.

Truly, H1. Truly.

Can't wait to get the entire band together. We're going to have so much fun. The Oxtails will conquer all!

Currently listening to: "No Myth" by Michael Penn. I could totally get five stars on this.

Obsessions For The Weeks: 11/12 - 01/01

There have been many since but I've been slackin' with these updates. Meh, anyway:



Super Mario Galaxy!



Have a Goomba, Beetchie. Don't worry, it'll get spun on its head then kicked. Heh heh heh heh.

Star Shiny Fun



And Rock Band



The Oxtails now have 20,000 fans and that's without a lead singer.

New Blog Layout - For The Beginning of the New Year 2008

The slightly yellowed snowman remains for it is still winter after all. The black is back because since the season has just begun and with the start of the new year, we're feeling a little somber. Besides which, black is our favourite and our best.

Why the colour selection, you ask? I'm channeling my Rock Band character and her often not-that fantastic colour schematic clothing choices.

Rock it, Zarnyx!!!!

Whoooo!

Thank goodness for our band manager, H1, who has a better sense of style than I. Otherwise things would be looking a lot like a disaster and a ton more hot pink with red.

Currently listening to: "Rockers to Swallow" by Yeah Yeah Yeahs.

Thanksgiving Week At The HOchieS

Thanksgiving Week has ended and the HOchieS are not sure how the time went by so quickly.
This week, we were visited by some of the HOchie favourites - Pandy, Jills, Beetchie and X.
The other favourites were unable to come this year and while TD5 may be excused, MC is not and therefore he is DTU.

Good laughs, cold dim sum, too much coca cola that took up valuable dim sum space, tales of a crazy Jewish Subway Lady and a Bacon Preaching Prophet, beer of the apple and raspberry variety, attempted killings-whiny-snoring Pumpkin and Jazzie cat moments, serial killer Dexter anxiety times, paprikash with baby halushkas, calls from TD5 at 6.26 AM and of course, Thanksgiving feast of meats and/or carbs were shared.

What did not go down was The Oxtails' first gig. Due to some technical difficulties involving a microphone, the lead singer was not being judged (by a computer) on her singing.
Money was spent on clothing without the band manager's consent.
It was a debacle.

All in all we had fun, hectic times.

Thanks for the goo'd times, Frenemies.

Quotes of the Week:

X: I have a line of fat down my leg and then it ends in this dimple! It's nasty!
(and later): Why you feeling up my leg?!
Or 2: Oh, I wasn't really. My hand got too close and sank into your dimple.
X: ::slaps Or 2::

Pandy: A Toast To Us!

Pandy: I'm sorry about the dumplings. I ate them all. I don't know what happened.
H1: Let me guess, you also get stupid over dumplings?

Beetchie: I have issues with Pandy. He ate all the dumplings!
Or 2: Uhhh...he took food out of your mouth?
Beetchie: Yeah! What's up with that? First the paprikash then the turkey soup? You can tell him I'm not happy with him. Quote me.

Or 2 (during Rock Band): Do you want to restart the song?
X: Yeah. Let's do that...
PS3/Rock Band message: if you quit now, you will lose 647 fans. Do you wish to continue?
X: ::stunned silence:: nooo, we can't lose our fans!!!!

Memorable Moment of the Week:

Beetchie crashing a 1 year old birthday party. Well done, Beetchie. Well done.

The Or 2 Christmas List 2007

Surprisingly, there's not much I want this year.

I thank all who contributed to the PS3/Rock Band endeavour. An update on that is as follows - "Rock Band" was purchased yesterday using the Amazon Gift Certificates bestowed upon me for my birthday.

The balance without the present money came up to 10 dollars plus 15 for next day shipping. Barring any misadventures on Amazon's part, we should have our game on November 21st, the day after release.

The actual purchase of the PS3 has not happened yet but will of course, happen soon so that our Thanksgiving Week will continue the trend of the Crazy Fun we tend to have every year. Sadly, it may not be able to top the greatness of last year's "Pepperoni Animal" but really, not much can.

So.

On to Christmas and the list. H1 told me "to post that shit on the blog", so here goes...

I am no longer trying to fanagle donations for the PS3. With the cash/check donations I've received, I'll be putting the $349 needed to complete the purchase.

I would like,

The xxxHolic Manga series (in English).

Super Mario Galaxy for the Wii.

Mario Party 8 for the Wii.

Bells

AT (& possibly Co. exceeeeept, maybe the Cookie. He's a bit of a hooligan type that I can't handle)

That's all I can think of at the moment.

Everyone else, if you haven't already done so, tell me what you want!

I love you, guys.

Currently listening to: "1 AM (Christmas)" and "6 AM (Christmas)" from The Animal Crossing Soundtrack

Our Rock Band Band

So we're getting very excited by the prospects of our new PS3 and Rock Band. Beetchie has decided we should either name our band "Doubles" or "Roti Rock". Maybe "The Oxtails"? The name's open to discussion.

But more importantly right now, is how the line up's going to go down.

It's been decided for sure that MC should be the bassist because as we all know, black people always play bass guitar. Before you protest, MC, I've proof (I'm sorry about the Portuguese subtitles...):



The other members of the band are a toss up but we're thinking for now that I should be the lead singer because by Beetchie's logic,
1. my carney hands would automatically disqualify me for the bass and lead guitars and 2. My lack of co-ordination disqualifies me for the drums.

For the role of lead guitar, Beetchie will take on those duties, which leaves us with a vacancy for drummer.

We're thinking Frass. Why? We're not quite sure but I think I heard Beetchie say something about, "he'll have to be drummer because he'll not be able to survive..." or something to that effect.

However, there are no fears for you others, my frenemies.

There are other very important roles in this band.

And I quote from Beetchie, "X can be our band manager! She can be our Joe Simpson to our Jessica and Ashley! Our Rob to our Spinal Tap! I want to be Nigel! I called it!"

"I want to know what kind of ass band we're running!" - Or 2, and upon further thought, "Maybe X can be our fan girl".

"X can be our groupie." - Beetchie
"and H1 can be our manager." - Or 2
"Because she's cut throat, right?" - Beetchie

Yes, because H1 is hardcore but I was thinking to myself that I really didn't want a Soundgarden/Chris Cornell incident to go down but if I'm lead singer and she's band manager, that WON'T be happening. So we're safe on that end.

So, all -

band name suggestions welcome.

positions for the band, other than bass, are not yet set in stone.

Let's get this insanity started but don't forget, TD5 will be both our promoter and music critic, so we need to make this good!

Okay! New Or 2 Scheme!

This "scheme" involves what I want for Christmas and my birthday.

I want amazon gift certicates.

I, heh heh, seemed to have spent all mine.

But now this is coming out and I must have it!

Also, so that no one is confused - I want a PS3 on which to play it on, so the amazon money will go towards a PS3.

I am quite content with whatever donations you would like to provide, unless it's of course, 0 dollars (which isn't priceless, like those mastercard commercials like to advert. sometimes).

Oh, and Beetchie? I still want Naruto from you though.

And thanks.

Goo'day.

Oh, and H1? When they release "Brianstorm" for this shit because you know anyone in their right minds will... just think of the gd goo'd times that will go down.

Our sign for Matthew will change for next year.