Preacious Moments in NJ... and My "4th" Trip to Crooklyn.

This is perhaps only the second and one half time I've 'willingly' gone to NJ.

Truly, there have been no instances I've wanted to be in the leading force of the New Axis of Evil but sometimes circumstances such as the one that arose last night made me have to step foot.

It was by far the most unpleasant reason for being there and The HOchieS are sorry for Sandy Cheeks and her family.

In any event, any trip to NJ would be plagued with misadventures and rubbish (har har, it's a dumping ground for the U.S. after all).

Back when I went to Ozzfest, that was plagued with crazies and the hottest day for that year and when in hell, it just feels oh so much hotter.

In 2005 when we went to see Foozer, it rained heavily and we were stuck in traffic forever.

Well, it rained last night too but for the first time, The HOchieS actually went into a town.

Oo.

The first bit of shade we saw was a place called "Face Burger". I did not get to take a picture, sadly. I had never heard of such a place but I just googled it and it exists. You may want to click at your own risk though because it is not surprisingly freezing up my Internet. Evil, I say!

Face Burger could very well be one of many locations for a shady cover operation we were forced to view at a nearby Dunkin Donuts.

We quickly texted Frass to let him know that we think that his mission in life should be to educate and prevent teenage pregnancy because it's bad enough kids are having kids, but when those kids from NJ are having NJ kids, it just breeds assholes...and not prize ones either.

Sure enough, at the Dunkin Donuts these two idiots were having a hard on the eyes and hard to repeat field day. It was well gross.

The third monstrosity of the evening, we found at a Hallmark in NJ and it was just preacious...



...confirming that Frass needs to get on the campaign to stop the breeding of stupid.

After our sad buisness in NJ, we went to more sad buisness in Crooklyn.

Again, the HOchieS are sorry to our friends across the street and their family.

As we said earlier, there's been gloom and doom surrounding us but we hope things will start to get better for all soon.

On our way to Brooklyn, we passed through my favourite place - Canal Street! I waved goodbye to Dragon Land Bakery, the Information Booth and Golden Bridge Dim Sum House. It's not often I'm in Chinatown at night and it made me happy to see things I knew.

But then we got to Crooklyn.

The drivers are less than stellar in the area (granted you have to be more aggressive in some areas than some and there are crazy drivers wherever you go) we were in and it was scary times to be on the road for a bit.

During the entire trip from NJ to Brooklyn to home, we saw many signs. A lot of them had unlit letters and read things such as "UH UL" and "L" (as in moteL).

It was the sign in Crooklyn going towards Avenue L that had me super confused.

It was hanging over a West Indian eatery that boasted "HALAL MEAT". It continued and under it was listed, "No pork" etc, etc.

Umm.

I know what halal means.

But I felt very offended by that sign because I hate that pigs get a bad rep., and quite frankly, anything that says no pork, can't be kosher (har har har. Sorry, that just slipped out and I refuse to delete it).

And as I thought on it more, I find it a peculiar concept that if you're going to be blessing a meat, why not bless pork? It seems to me that if your prayer can't cleanse a pig, then there's something very wrong there. I'm not trying to be an asshole, a prize one at that, but if prayer is not strong enough to cleanse then I am confused.

Don't be dissing pig!

Currently listening to: Whatever Bunji is watching on the TV downstairs.

Making Christmas (Part II): ...and Making Christmas Piggyhs.

This year for Treats by the HOchieS, not only did we make Christmas piggyhs or Christmas Hams as I lovingly call them, but also Santa Claus Chocolate heads, filled Treat Boxes, gulab jamuns and baked the awesomeness known as Pear Gruyere pie cups instead of the regular red velvet cupcakes.

Before the pictures come rolling, the HOchieS would like to thank X and Sons for all their help. This year's Treat Bag/Boxes were of a whole other magnitude, tiring and time consuming work.

But everything was beautiful and tasted great.

Now, I present to you...the Piggyhies:

Unbaked Christmas Hams!



A Plate of Baked Hams Ready for a Paint Job:



Awww, Painted, Pink Pigghies...



What's this? A Devil Pig?



Devil Pig was given to Gen. Here he is gathering his forces. His life was quickly cut short after I tossed him a box though. It was off to Slaughter by way of Chewing for D.Pigh. All hail D.Pigh!



Memorable Quotes of the Evening:

X ::as she's painting the pigs:: : Oink

Or 2: What's with the violet eyes?
X: H1 says they're going to have violet eyes just like Elizabeth Taylor. Those were her exact words.
H1: ::after trying an eye:: Okay, no eyes.

Currently listening to: "Sunday Bloody Sunday" by U2

Chinatown on a Rainy Wednesday

The gaggle (H1, Alex, X, M, and Or 2) went down for dim sum today in good ol' Chinatown. Beetchie was sorely missed and this isn't a post to make her sad. That objective was supposed to be fulfilled in the post prior to this one.

It was dreary, the subway was effed as per usual and a trip to the Brooklyn Bridge just ruined my post earlier this morning when I said I can't go there without Beetchie.

Apparently I cursed us.

Dim sum was rushed and the HOchieS left feeling a little bit unhappy about the whole deal (Trudging to work knowing you'll be staying until 7.20 at night is also no fun but alas, it had to be done).

For the first time ever, the HOchieS feasted upon something we've eaten quite regularly as children but never at dim sum because we always feel that the space that item would take up could be filled by other things we don't get on a regular basis.

What is this "thing" you ask?

That's right, it was none other than good time chicken feet. Due to the fact that our gang was not asian looking, we were discriminated against and fed the 'sauced' up version as opposed to the boiled goodness we're used to. I guess they figured they were doing us a kindness or figured we would waste their precious fatty legs and toes.

It was quite good though, regardless.

The usual suspects were inhaled, with some hilarity over noodles that could not not be eaten before leaving Golden Bridge.

After our particularly cheap eats of $33.00, a price that impressed H1 immensely, we hustled (but not really) down the street to buy some baos and pastries and hop on the train.

It was at this point I saw my favourite friend in the entire world, in all his hammy glory.

It was a rather depressing sight. I did not get the picture that made me a little bit revolted and I regret not getting the shot of the pig being hauled around the streets of Chinatown on a man's shoulder.
Camera Eye got it, but not L.O.

Currently listening to: The theme of Monster playing in my head.

Or 2's The Famous Edinburgh...Sheep - DAY 3.7

Chapter 3: Haggis, Sheep, Heighlan' Coos and Scratchy Ghosts

Saturday morning saw us up at 5.15 AM to catch a 7 AM train to Scotland.

The train ride was nice. We saw lots of sheep but it was quite difficult trying to snag a picture of them since everytime I put the camera down, there'd they be with their painted asses. The multi-coloured sheep asses were quite funny.



We didn't make it to the Highlands but this photo from the train was as close as we got:



As soon as we got out of the train station at Edinburgh we could hear bagpipes. There was something very disturbing seeing very old buildings on cobblestone streets housing and littered by stores such as the gap.

Char Kar and I went to Edinburgh Castle which we got to by climbing a really steep hill. I guess it wasn't steep enough though because if I could climb it then the Brits truly had no problem invading the damned place. Har Har.

The Castle was pretty cool but Char Kar thought the King's Dining Room was not as impressive as it should have been. I liked the prisoner barracks and was impressed by the view of the city from the cannon view point:



After running around the castle, I had to go try some haggis. Sadly, I didn't get the real deal because I was starving and didn't want to chance buying an entire meal only to waste it if I didn't want it (hey, this trip was expensive as all hell) so I got a Haggis and Drambuie appetiser. It was deep fried and GOOD times. MMMmmmm, nothing like some sheep insides:



I had the lamb for dinner which was really good. It was very unlike most lamb I had as this was incredibly smooth to the point where it was melting off the bone. It was good times also but meat usually is.

After dinner, we walked around the little city but for some reason the whole place ran amuck with damned partying teenagers who were interested only in clubbing and drinking. Ignoring the lot, we walked and visited little shops that had the strangest things. I felt as though I was in Chinatown because we happened upon one of those cheap ones that sold lots of hello kitty stickers and stuff. I was incredibly unimpressed until we passed by the Castle at night.

Char Kar and I parted ways with Battler and went on the Death and Torture Tour at B's suggestion. It was very cheesey and fun walking along the cobbled streets, hearing about some of Edinburgh's dark history. Our Tour Guide, Fiona was pretty cute too. Then we went to three vaults discovered in the old city back around 1996. The vaults are supposedly haunted and being kind of sensitive to paranormal activity, I definitely felt there was something to that place. Here's the picture I took that confused me some:



For the most part, I laughed at how scared everyone else was but I guess the joke was on me. The next morning, I went to the bathroom to discover I had a bit of a scratch/gash on my forehead. Yes. I was scratched by an entity. Alright, so it may be possible that I did it to myself in the night but I can't be certain. In any event, it makes for a good story.

What doesn't make for a good story was the little prison cell we slept in at the Hostel. It wasn't that bad though save the fact there was a co-ed bathroom. Needless to say, Char Kar and I went stinky that night without a shower because there was no way either of us wanted to come out of the shower only to encounter some crazy drunk and drugged up kids.

I didn't actually get to see an Heighland Coos but I bought one the morning after at the gift shop for HOchie 1. She loves him and has named him Apappa.

The ride back was much of the same and involved Battler and I trying to capture photos of the stupid sheep and our miserable failures.

Quotes of the trip:

On Sheep -

"When it rains, do you put them away?" - Char Kar
"Yeah. Put them in a box." - Battler.

"Some of the sheep have colours on them. Are they marked for death?" - Char Kar.

"I could take one home." - Char Kar
"Yeah, box it up. Shear your own." - Battler
"They don't look very soft." - Char Kar
"Yeah. They're wooly. Literally. God didn't front when he made the sheep." - Battler

On Pigs -

"Look! Pigs! It's like {Or 2's} dreams come true!" - Char Kar
"Yeah...awww, piggies. Awwww, bacon." - Me
"Come on. That's just shameful. They're still alive!" - Char Kar.