Truly, there have been no instances I've wanted to be in the leading force of the New Axis of Evil but sometimes circumstances such as the one that arose last night made me have to step foot.
It was by far the most unpleasant reason for being there and The HOchieS are sorry for Sandy Cheeks and her family.
In any event, any trip to NJ would be plagued with misadventures and rubbish (har har, it's a dumping ground for the U.S. after all).
Back when I went to Ozzfest, that was plagued with crazies and the hottest day for that year and when in hell, it just feels oh so much hotter.
In 2005 when we went to see Foozer, it rained heavily and we were stuck in traffic forever.
Well, it rained last night too but for the first time, The HOchieS actually went into a town.
Oo.
The first bit of shade we saw was a place called "Face Burger". I did not get to take a picture, sadly. I had never heard of such a place but I just googled it and it exists. You may want to click at your own risk though because it is not surprisingly freezing up my Internet. Evil, I say!
Face Burger could very well be one of many locations for a shady cover operation we were forced to view at a nearby Dunkin Donuts.
We quickly texted Frass to let him know that we think that his mission in life should be to educate and prevent teenage pregnancy because it's bad enough kids are having kids, but when those kids from NJ are having NJ kids, it just breeds assholes...and not prize ones either.
Sure enough, at the Dunkin Donuts these two idiots were having a hard on the eyes and hard to repeat field day. It was well gross.
The third monstrosity of the evening, we found at a Hallmark in NJ and it was just preacious...
...confirming that Frass needs to get on the campaign to stop the breeding of stupid.
After our sad buisness in NJ, we went to more sad buisness in Crooklyn.
Again, the HOchieS are sorry to our friends across the street and their family.
As we said earlier, there's been gloom and doom surrounding us but we hope things will start to get better for all soon.
On our way to Brooklyn, we passed through my favourite place - Canal Street! I waved goodbye to Dragon Land Bakery, the Information Booth and Golden Bridge Dim Sum House. It's not often I'm in Chinatown at night and it made me happy to see things I knew.
But then we got to Crooklyn.
The drivers are less than stellar in the area (granted you have to be more aggressive in some areas than some and there are crazy drivers wherever you go) we were in and it was scary times to be on the road for a bit.
During the entire trip from NJ to Brooklyn to home, we saw many signs. A lot of them had unlit letters and read things such as "UH UL" and "L" (as in moteL).
It was the sign in Crooklyn going towards Avenue L that had me super confused.
It was hanging over a West Indian eatery that boasted "HALAL MEAT". It continued and under it was listed, "No pork" etc, etc.
Umm.
I know what halal means.
But I felt very offended by that sign because I hate that pigs get a bad rep., and quite frankly, anything that says no pork, can't be kosher (har har har. Sorry, that just slipped out and I refuse to delete it).
And as I thought on it more, I find it a peculiar concept that if you're going to be blessing a meat, why not bless pork? It seems to me that if your prayer can't cleanse a pig, then there's something very wrong there. I'm not trying to be an asshole, a prize one at that, but if prayer is not strong enough to cleanse then I am confused.
Don't be dissing pig!
Currently listening to: Whatever Bunji is watching on the TV downstairs.
I'm more disturbed that you 2 had covert dealings in NJ that you only refer to as "business"..... hmmm.
ReplyDeleteNever heard of Face Burger but you should have gone to a Checkers! I'm obsessed. Actually lately I've been thinking of going to a Dairy Queen that's like a mile away but I've never visited. It's a big one too. I want nuggets & a 'machine ice cream'.
I blame the economy for teenage pregnancy in NJ. What else are the kids here supposed to do?! The economy is probably to blame for the Hallmark too. Who goes into Hallmark anyway? That place has always been tacky.
Look, don't you be minding our buisness!
ReplyDeleteActually, we only had one in NJ and one in Brooklyn. They're not really covert, they were just sad times - we had two wakes to attend.
You know, if you answered your phone, I was trying to tell you to take your $1.25 cab over to meet me - we could have gone to Checkers instead of having my eyes assaulted at Dunkin Donuts.
At first I thought it was a mistake on the sign and was forgiveable but discovered both signs had the same thing.
Economy's bad? Go study. You and your reckless thinking makes me wonder if you really weren't born in NJ...
har har. j/k.