New Jersey: Yes, It Still Sucks

The power of NJ's evil is so great, that not even a giant Japanese supermarket could save it.

The HOchieS & Co. took an afternoon out to visit Mitsuwa - the much talked about Japanese Supermarket complete with a huge Japanese food court, bookstore, steak house and Japanese-centric accessories, toys and knick knacks.

The food court was alright.  I opted to go with a spicy miso ramen.  It was not bad and the pork was definitely a lot better than what I get at Sapporo.  It was melty (as they called it) i.e. fattier and just what pork should be when it is in some ramen in my opinion.

Sadly though, I will never be able to re-create a great bowl of ramen as I did at the Ramuen Museum in Tokyo.

The Supermarket proved to be quite the let down too.

I think the problem with it is that I could get most of the items from it at J-Mart and the Chinese grocery in Chinatown or WP, leaving me unimpressed.

We then headed next door to see if we could find some toys, presents, something... the store certainly had lots but felt fairly 'junky' but on top of it feeling 'junky', it did not have 'junky' prices.  It was expensive in there!

All in all, it was a pretty big fail but we should have known better.

NJ's joy in proving that it is Hell managed to route us in the direction of LOST.  Some may say it was the GPS' fault that we were lost and ended up in a trucker's service station but the evil magnetic field that Jersey's got effed up the GPS for sure.

Frass, in a somewhat related issue, I decided to call you as I usually do when I'm in your Hellish State and got your mother.

Why that woman hates me, I don't know but please let me know her response if she ever gives you my message that I called.

All Points West

Every time I make a declaration that I'll never step foot in New Jersey, some thing happens that finds me slumming it in that forsaken marsh of smelliness that is that state.

I was seriously considering getting tickets for this event for the Saturday August 1 st date but ultimately decided, as I always do, that going to NJ is just not worth my time.

And then VIP passes, for free, to the Music Festival All Points West at Liberty State Park in NJ kinda fell into my lap on Thursday afternoon.

While not the Saturday show I wanted to go to, Free! (did I mention "free"?) VIP Passes, a free round trip on the Ferry and a chance to see Yeah Yeah Yeahs after wanting to for a while and not having luck with that, the choice really was clear.

I'd have to trek to Assland for the greater good.





Plus, TD5 would get to see Vampire Weekend - a band he loves, as well as Yeah Yeah Yeahs and I'd get to show him that The National are pretty damned good and he should be more appreciative of their music that I tried to throw at him at some point last year.

Oh, and I'd get to finally see what the big deal about Fleet Foxes was all about.

All Points West 2009 @ Liberty State Park on 7/31/2009:

The Low-Lamps:

1. Fleet Foxes.



To think I could have slept at the hotel for a bit instead of rushing to NJ sooner and for longer than necessary. TD5 and I both agree that this was pure shart. We don't know what was up with this band but they are horrendous!

The hippiness really got to me.

The 'harmonious sound' really got to TD5.

I really wanted to pass out from boredom and they just seemed to go on forever, and ever. And ever.

It was so bad, that as soon as they took the stage, they summoned rain clouds and thunderstorms threatened us although it was really muggy before, so the cool wind was very welcome at the time.

The only redeeming thing about Fleet Foxes was that they had personality but honestly, it wasn't enough to save our ears from bleeding.

Memorable Quotes:

"I feel like we're wizards on stage here." - lead singer, Fleet Foxes.
"Yeah, I'm going to ride off the stage on a white horse." - drummer, Fleet Foxes

Nerds.

2. New Jersey. Liberty State Park was as expected. Smelly. After it torrential down poured on us, it was even worse. It was smelly AND muddy. Never before have I been witness to so much ugly and mud before in one area. Gross.

Here's a shot of the main stage -



3. Mud People. Ugly mud people. Ugly mud people who insisted they get all hippy with their bad dancing. Ugly mud people who insisted they get all hippy with their bad dancing right next to where TD5 and I stood.

TD5 half wished they would fall into it but I really don't think they would have cared if they did.



4. That nasty feeling one gets after being in NJ. It's almost as if nothing you do will wash away that stench and grime. And sometimes, nothing can. My poor shoes are proof of that.



5. Getting booted from the VIP Bleachers. Everyone knows that there are certain places you do not want to be near during a lightning storm and unfortunately, the VIP Bleachers was one of those places. What sucked even more was that we got stormed out right after The National performed, before Vampire Weekend and during most of their set. So, at least we know they sound really good but we did not really get a chance to see them very well from the Beer Tent where TD5 and I found shelter from the storm.

Sorry TD5...

Vampire Weekend from the Beer Tent -



6. TD5 and his inability to tell me things of importance. For instance, the debacle that went down involving our being able to come back to All Points West on Saturday for free. Due to the horrendous rain, Friday Ticket Holders were allowed to come back for free on any of the other two days. TD5 heard the announcement by Vampire Weekend and I did not. So, thanks to him, H1 and I missed our chance to see Tool, Arctic Monkeys and Tokyo Police Club. WTF! WTF, TD5! Thanks. I'm still a little bit bitter, as you can tell.

7. Q-Tip. On our long trek back to civilization, ie the ferry back to NYC, we heard Q-Tip at another tent. He sounded horrid.

8. If not for having had enough of NJ, and being way tired, I think I would have stayed for Jay-Z. He's probably one of the few rappers I respect somewhat and I heard he brought his orchestra. So I missed seeing him perform and it was a bit of a lowlamp because I heard him on my way out and he sounded pretty decent. Ah well. See how quickly I got over that?

9. Once again, The National managed to butcher performing my favourite song by them, "Mistaken For Strangers". Again, The National? What's up with that?

10. I'm fairly certain I saw that smelly kid from way back when I went to I think, Muse at Hammerstein on the ferry ride to APW. That was not cute for my nose.

11. Not having H1 there as well. And also, not being BACK at All Points West for Arctic Monkeys and Tool with H1. Thanks again, TD5! That's right, you will not hear the end of this.

12. Being so close to NYC but not being able to escape, nooooooooooooo....! Freedom! So close!



13. The Statue of Liberty showing me its ass. Not only animals do this to me, but the Statue of Liberty too?! It's not right!



The Highlights:

1. Getting off the ferry back in NYC was awesome. Even the rain puddles were different and everything just seemed so less scary, even if it was Crooklyn. Har Har.

2. The National. It was fun seeing them a second time, even if this time I barely saw them from the side line thanks to the rain. I did like that the lead singer jumped into the crowd and rolled with the punches the rain was throwing at them. That was cool of him and not something I expected. He didn't sound too fabulous but the rest of the band sounded truly great. They also performed a new song which was really good and I'm kinda looking forward to their next album, whenever that may be.

Also, the fact that TD5 likes them now makes me happy.



3. Vampire Weekend. I can't say I'm a fan nor have I listened to their album to have a real opinion but they sounded really great live. I can see the appeal and I'm glad I got to hear them live instead of a studio album. Though, that might just make me not want to listen to a studio album now knowing just how great they sound live. Uh oh.



4. My gross dry sausage sandwich and my cheesey fries. I enjoyed it but mostly because I was really starvin' marvin.

5. The VIP Bleachers were good while they lasted. I also did not understand the NinjAnts.



6. Yeah Yeah Yeahs

6.1 Making sure TD5 was completely cured of his vertigo and that the swirly eyeball would not bring back his Lucille 2 Persona. It was only a highlight because it was funny and turned out he'd be okay.



6.2 Where's waldo? Rather, where's the eyeball? Floating over someone's head? Scary!



Karen O. was crazy as expected. I'm not sure what she was wearing... but her performance was classic.



Brian Chase was cool and I rather enjoyed that he never stopped beating those drums and that Yeah Yeah Yeahs continued each song in their set on his playing. All songs rolled one after the other with Chase's drumming as the connecting factor.



Then there's my Nick Zinner, who I love but curse him for not wanting to show his face so that I could get a picture, not to mention that stupid giant mounted crane camera kept getting in my way...



They performed lots of the good stuff - many songs from the new album, although not "Hysteric" which saddened me nor did they do "Rockers to Swallow". They also did an acoustic, stripped down version of "Maps", which while not the best was still cool.

7. The "destruction" of the microphone. Karen O. tried very hard to destroy that mic but it just wasn't happening but it was just not quite in league with her plans. It showed her!



The Yeah Yeah Yeahs 7/31/2009 @ All Points West Setlist:

1. Heads Will Roll
2. Cheated Hearts
3. Black Tongue
4. Zero
5. Human Fly (The Cramps cover)
6. Gold Lion
7. Honeybear
8. Turn Into
9. Skeletons
10. Soft Shock
11. Maps (Acoustic)
12. Y Control
13. Date With The Night

Best Song Performance from YYY: "Black Tongue".

Probably one of the best things to end the night was knowing I didn't have to rush to catch the bloody train back home and could actually stay in midtown that night. Phew, that was a relief and cool.

When we got back to midtown, I took TD5 to Sapporo for ramen, discovered they had a new menu of little eats such as kare-age which I had, and in need of a drink, I got a sapporo. Sorry, Beetchie! I'll try to not drink without you again because I know it's random I do and decided to do it when you were not there.

I know, I'm awful.

Currently listening to: "For Your Life" by Led Zeppelin.

Preacious Moments in NJ... and My "4th" Trip to Crooklyn.

This is perhaps only the second and one half time I've 'willingly' gone to NJ.

Truly, there have been no instances I've wanted to be in the leading force of the New Axis of Evil but sometimes circumstances such as the one that arose last night made me have to step foot.

It was by far the most unpleasant reason for being there and The HOchieS are sorry for Sandy Cheeks and her family.

In any event, any trip to NJ would be plagued with misadventures and rubbish (har har, it's a dumping ground for the U.S. after all).

Back when I went to Ozzfest, that was plagued with crazies and the hottest day for that year and when in hell, it just feels oh so much hotter.

In 2005 when we went to see Foozer, it rained heavily and we were stuck in traffic forever.

Well, it rained last night too but for the first time, The HOchieS actually went into a town.

Oo.

The first bit of shade we saw was a place called "Face Burger". I did not get to take a picture, sadly. I had never heard of such a place but I just googled it and it exists. You may want to click at your own risk though because it is not surprisingly freezing up my Internet. Evil, I say!

Face Burger could very well be one of many locations for a shady cover operation we were forced to view at a nearby Dunkin Donuts.

We quickly texted Frass to let him know that we think that his mission in life should be to educate and prevent teenage pregnancy because it's bad enough kids are having kids, but when those kids from NJ are having NJ kids, it just breeds assholes...and not prize ones either.

Sure enough, at the Dunkin Donuts these two idiots were having a hard on the eyes and hard to repeat field day. It was well gross.

The third monstrosity of the evening, we found at a Hallmark in NJ and it was just preacious...



...confirming that Frass needs to get on the campaign to stop the breeding of stupid.

After our sad buisness in NJ, we went to more sad buisness in Crooklyn.

Again, the HOchieS are sorry to our friends across the street and their family.

As we said earlier, there's been gloom and doom surrounding us but we hope things will start to get better for all soon.

On our way to Brooklyn, we passed through my favourite place - Canal Street! I waved goodbye to Dragon Land Bakery, the Information Booth and Golden Bridge Dim Sum House. It's not often I'm in Chinatown at night and it made me happy to see things I knew.

But then we got to Crooklyn.

The drivers are less than stellar in the area (granted you have to be more aggressive in some areas than some and there are crazy drivers wherever you go) we were in and it was scary times to be on the road for a bit.

During the entire trip from NJ to Brooklyn to home, we saw many signs. A lot of them had unlit letters and read things such as "UH UL" and "L" (as in moteL).

It was the sign in Crooklyn going towards Avenue L that had me super confused.

It was hanging over a West Indian eatery that boasted "HALAL MEAT". It continued and under it was listed, "No pork" etc, etc.

Umm.

I know what halal means.

But I felt very offended by that sign because I hate that pigs get a bad rep., and quite frankly, anything that says no pork, can't be kosher (har har har. Sorry, that just slipped out and I refuse to delete it).

And as I thought on it more, I find it a peculiar concept that if you're going to be blessing a meat, why not bless pork? It seems to me that if your prayer can't cleanse a pig, then there's something very wrong there. I'm not trying to be an asshole, a prize one at that, but if prayer is not strong enough to cleanse then I am confused.

Don't be dissing pig!

Currently listening to: Whatever Bunji is watching on the TV downstairs.

Checklist

Out for five days, with today being the first day back at work. It's been five weeks since Chrissy Lee spent time with The HOchieS, with today being the first 'full' day without him.

What the eff.

We're not liking it at all.

Even the Pumps is sad.

It was fun and it all went by too quickly but I guess what they say is true - time flies when you're having fun.

Memories of Chrissy Lee shall be recorded on the blog because he likes that sort of thing. Heh.

In no particular order, here are the fun times shared!

1. Movies - He saw many, one for every week in the month of June or something like that. It began with his third viewing of "Iron Man" because he's crazy, not necessarily that Iron Man was fantastic, right Chrissy Lee? Followed by "Hulk", "Wanted" and "Wall DOT E", interpunct not included.

2. By special request from Chrissy Lee himself: Dyson Air Blade. Check.

3. Good Time Eats - Let's see,

Bourbon Chicken. Check.
IHOP. Check.
Sushi. Check. Not the kind he wanted necessarily. Check.
Starbucks Java Bits Frappacino. Check.
Dunkin Donuts French Vanilla Iced Coffee. Check.
H1's Iced Coffee. Half a check as it was ousted for Dunkin D. Tsk.
Dinosaur BBQ. Check. Note: Next time get the beef brisket.
Sapporo Tonkatsu. Check. Note: Next time get the beef short ribs.
Pongsri. Check.
White Castle sliders Meh for Or 2.
Ben & Jerry's "Everything But The...", "Chocolate Therapy", "Strawberry Shortcake", "Fossil Fuel", "Cookie Dough", "Cinnamon Cinnabun". Check. Check. Check. Check. Check. and Check.
Bluebunny Ice-cream "Banana Split Sundae", "Chocolate Brownie", "Cookie Dough".
Other Ice-Cream "Green Tea", "Ice Cream sandwich" and "Egg Custard". Yum and Yum. Check and Check. Fried Ice-Cream - sadly, no check.
Grandma's "Chocolate Pudding Pie", "Banana Split Whipped"
Sweet Melissa "Banana Caramel Cream"
KFC Chipotle Chicken and Snackers of all four varieties. Check.
McDonald's Breakfast, McDonald's, Wendy's. It's all there. Check.
Jamaican Beef Patties with and without cheese. When did that NOT happen? Check.
H1's deli meat sandwich. Check.
Papa HOchie's Stewed Pork. Check x 4 (enjoyed that much, methinks).
Lay's Salt & Vinegar Chips. Check. Mostly eaten by Or 2.
Popcorn Indiana Kettle Corn. Check.
Funnel Cake. Bleck. Check.
Uptown Street Hot Dog. Double Bleck. Check.

4. Places and Things!

The Museum of Natural History and the Plane'arium
The MOMA. Fun times even without an A cube. Har har.
Eck! The damned 5th Ave. A. store, yes. yes. The SoHo branch? Yeah Yeah, that one too. Lame.
Six Flags Great Adventure. Enjoyed with his BFF Fred. Heh, at least it wasn't me. =)
The Bronx Zoo: The Sky Safari (which by the way shut down with 40 people on it for over an hour today), The World of Darkness, Great Ape Escape (heehee, humour for H1) or rather, the Congo Exhibit, A Gift Shop, The Cafeteria, The Big Cat Exhibit, The Asian/Orient Express Exhibit (Orient Express? Har. Racist.).
Bunji's with A. Face and driving to the Hospital so that B. Cheeks could be born.
Next door for Drunkeness on the 4th of July. Grrr.
The City to bum!
Arguing with Or 2!

R.E.M.!

5. Games Played

Wii - "Wii Fit", "Mario Kart", "Mario Party 8", "Wii Zapper: Link's Crossbow Training", "Super Mario Galaxy", "Resident Evil 4", "Guitar Hero III", and "Wario Ware: Smooth Moves".

PS3 - "Rock Band". Hey, I only truly have one game we play on that, alright?! Chrissy Lee has proven that he can shred like nobody's buisness and sing like a pro! Okay, so maybe that's not entirely true but he had fun!

DS - "Professor Layton and the Curious Village".

6. TV and Movies on TV Watched

"Law & Order: SVU", "CSI: Miami" (which he watched on his own), "Back to the Future", "Burn Notice" (a new favourite!), "Bad Boys" (an attempt to anyway)and "Double Impact"... Almost every night.

Anything else, feel free to add to this blog but for now Chrissy Lee, start making a new list of things to do for your next visit!

Currently listening to: "Pity and Fear" by Death Cab For Cutie. This "Narrow Stairs" Album seems quite a departure for them. It's odd yet oddly entertaining.

Ninjas In New Jersey...As If.

Another Stupid Story from 1/3 of the Axis of Evil:

Posted: Wednesday, 25 June 2008 1:22PM

N.J. School Locked Down for Ninja Sighting

BARNEGAT, N.J. (AP) -- It's the case of the nonexistent ninja.

Public schools in Barnegat were locked down briefly after someone reported seeing a ninja running through the woods behind an elementary school.

Turns out the ninja was actually a camp counselor dressed in black karate garb and carrying a plastic sword.

Police tell the Asbury Park Press the man was late to a costume-themed day at a nearby middle school.

The lockdown began shortly after 9 a.m. Wednesday and lasted until 9:30.
(TM & Copyright 2008 CBS Radio Inc. and its relevant subsidiaries. CBS RADIO & EYE Logo TM & Copyright 2008 CBS Broadcasting Inc. Used under license. All Rights Reserved.


The moral of this bit of news:

He couldn't be no effin' Ninja; he was seen! This story is another example of proof that people from NJ are special. No one knows what a real ninja looks like. All we know is that they exist.

Memorable Quotes of Today:

H1: Luuuuiiiissss brought home a bottle of Johnsons' baby cologne. I said, "you know they market this kind of thing to Puerto Ricans, right? Where'd you get it? The Goya section?"

Wii Fit? More Like, Wii Fat

The HOchies found out yesterday that the new stay in shape or whatever the hell it is game for the Wii, Wii Fit is going to cost more than the damned console.

At $399.00, the Japanese have reaffirmed that they hate us and wish for us stoopid Americans to die because we are poor and can't afford to be 'fit'.

We're in a recession for eff's sake!

Edit 4/25/08: Clearly, Amazon like to keed because they switched the price. It's $90.00 and has been pre-ordered.

In other gaming news, does anyone have not so fond memories of those weed thingies in Final Fantasy VII? They'd show up in a field on the outskirts of Midgar, sometimes hang out with Chocobos I think, right when you left Midgar for the first time.

I have discovered they are my most hated enemies in Crisis Core. While I often wish they would look like this:



Or even this,



Sadly, this is what they really look like to Zack and by extension, me:



And while that may not be terribly horrendous to those of you who don't understand, I can assure you...they really are the stuff of nightmares. Curse you too, Hysteric Voices!

Finally to end this nerd rant, where are all the effin' fat chocobo feathers when you need them?

Memorable conversations of the past 2 days:

Raisins Alex: This new Pope isn't very "grandfather-ish" like the previous Pope.
Or 2: But at least he's smart. He's refusing a dinner with Bush.
Raisins Alex: Yeah, he knows nothing can absolve that man's sins. 'Gel oulla here, Boosh!!'

Or 2: Notice how the Pope isn't having a mass in Crooklyn?
H1: No one wants to go there.
Or 2: Yeah, but people in Crooklyn probably need the most blessings. Also, he's not going to NJ. As scary as this Pope looks, he really is clever.
H1: Yep, no one wants to go New Jersey either. Even the Pope knows.
Or 2: Yeah, if only bands would realise this too.

Or 2: Mountain Time exists! ::searches wiki:: There. You don’t believe Wiki?! There it is!
H1: I still don't understand it. What places in the world use mountain time? Arizona, it says. They also do not observe daylight savings, but the Hopi Nation within Arizona does, but the Navajo Nation within the Hopi Nation does.
Or 2: They all like to keed!

Currently listening to: "A Punch-Up at a Wedding" by Radiohead and one of my favourite songs ever (I love you Watanuki!! you to a lesser extent, Yuko's Watanuki. heh heh.) "April Fool" by S.E.N.S. Project, from the xxxHOLiC Original TV Soundtrack.

The Hatred For NJ Just Keeps On Growing

For some reason, concert promoters, bands or who the eff ever have been opting to go to New Jersey to put on their shows instead of NY.

I'm not sure why NYC's being blacklisted but it's damned annoying.

I've resigned myself to the fact that I will never see Stone Temple Pilots because goodness knows volatile, lovable Scott will quit the band in no time and mouth off to them like he did to Velvet Revolver (and the rest of STP, back in the day).

I will never see Radiohead. Those mothereffers are playing a festival in what they call "NY". I know you're not from here, RH but that's just damned insulting. Get a freakin' hold of yourselves! You can't fool me and Google maps! Tch. I mean, I didn't actually verify this with google maps but eff a festival anyway! And your four dates over there are making me reeeaaaally pissy right now.

The Nintendo Wii is also on my shit list. How dare they have a Mario Kart Wii tour go to Jersey and not NYC?! Okay, so maybe they'll have a big event closer to the date at Nintendo World but still! Not that I would ever go visit a Nintendo Tour but it's not right, anyway!

Maybe people in NJ are stupidly not playing the wii because they didn't pre-order.

After all, people in NJ are pretty stupid.

Especially you, Frass...Especially you.

Currently listening to: "Shattering Egg of Dreams" by Yasunori Mitsuda, from the Xenogears Soundtrack

Conversations Kill

Or 2: You know, everytime I go on to frickin' Amazon (to check the status of my shipped item) and they tell me it's "in transit" for days from Jersey City in NJ, I suspect that somehow, Frass is the one holding back my order.

X: Everytime something happens in NJ, I think it's his fault.

Or 2: Yes well, I think we all know that's the case.

Currently singing in my head: "Megalomania" by MUSE. "...When I am gone, it won't be long before I disturb you in the dark. And Paradise comes at a price, that I am not prepared to pay..."

One of the Good Steves Is Gone

SYDNEY, Australia (CNN) -- Steve Irwin, the enthusiastic "Crocodile Hunter" who enthralled audiences around the world with his wildlife adventures, died Monday morning after being stung by a stingray while shooting a TV program off Australia's north coast.

Media reports say Irwin was snorkeling at Batt Reef, a part of the Great Barrier Reef about 9 miles (about 15 kilometers) from the town of Port Douglas, when the incident happened.

Irwin, 44, was killed by a stingray barb that pierced his chest, according to Cairns police sources.

Irwin was in the area to film pieces for a show called "The Ocean's Deadliest" with Philippe Cousteau, grandson of Jacques, according to Irwin's manager and friend John Stainton. But weather had prevented the crew from doing work for that program, Stainton said, so Irwin decided to do some softer features for a new children's TV show he was doing with his daughter, Bindi.

"He came over the top of a stingray that was buried in the sand, and the barb came up and hit him in the chest," Stainton said.
Copyright 2006 CNN. All rights reserved.This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed. Associated Press contributed to this report.



R.I.P. Steve Irwin. ='(
And that stupid Cathy in NJ, whoever you are, who said that Steve Irwin thrived off agitating animals and that you hope there is a lesson in his the tragedy of his death - Cathy, you're an ass.

The D.C. Blog

Work is overrated but much more fun when you know that by 2 p.m. you'll be on a road trip with good friends!
Thanks for making work overrated stupid traffic - we didn't actually hit the road until 3.30 p.m. That extra hour and a half really killed it.

Being stuck in the car for 9 hours when the trip was supposed to be 4 hours is not good times. Can someone tell me if George Washington had as much trouble crossing the Delaware as we did? Delaware may need to be a part of the new Axis of Evil.

No one needs to tell me about New Jersey being hell, I already know because where else do you have people driving around in their cars with multi-coloured rollers in their heads?

At least we had interesting times watching and taking incriminating photos of sketch people driving while on their cellphones and doing recon missions on MC while he was on his cellphone. There were such classic lines as:

MC "You don't have time for me when I'm in Brooklyn..."
X, singing off to the side "All I need is the air that I breathe."

Finally at 11.30 we made it and even though we were cranky it was alright because what followed was fun save the part where more crankiness ensued the night after...and the day after that. Heh Heh...

After much laughing and HOchie 1 telling us that she could hear MC from her hotel room two doors down, we settled in and slept until morning, which brought me an awesome breakfast of a belgian waffle with strawberries and whipped cream. Now, it's only awesome because diners insist on screwing me over with their lack of bwwsawc.

Then came the walking. We walked all over D.C. and explored the monuments. It was there I had a few words with Lincoln, Slave Daddy. Aims was not impressed by my reasoning behind the title but Mitch and I know the real deal with the 16th President of the USA.

And it was there that the ducks had a few words with me or rather, showed me their asses. Man, I hate those bitchin' ass ducks.

We then took the shady metro to the Washington Zoo. The Metro is nothing like NY. The ticket system is shady. It's not simple like NY leaving me grounded in my belief that NY is still number 1 - yeah!!!

Before we could actually get to the zoo, we had to go up "The Escalator To Hell" or was it Heaven? Not sure but whatever it was, it took 2 minutes and 42 seconds to ride. Crazy!
The zoo was fun minus the double dose of annoying frickin' Behemoths. Grrrr.

Why did this happen though? What's up with animals in this place showing me their asses?!

But what was really hella awesome - my biatch Komodo Dragon. I don't know how smart the Komodo's keeper was because my ass wouldn't be in the enclosure trying to lure the Komodo in. Ah, he was a bitch though that KD; he ignored initial attempts at getting him in. "Am I interested? Meh. ::lumbered off::" That's what I do sometimes. We're kindred spirits.

At 5 p.m. we set off to see the cutest pandas eva'. Tian was being a Drama Queen. He flopped himself down on the floor all panting like as though it was the end of the world. Poor stupid panda. It was rather hot and humid though. Who can blame him?
Mei, the best lOOking panda eva' was tearing up bamboo like nobody's buisness, as expected. Bamboo was flying everywhere and all you could see was Mei's cute little head sticking out from a huge pile of the green stuff. It was awesome.

Finally, the main reason why we made this trip, the star of it all - Tai Shan became visbile to us. The little baby had his back to his viewing audience which prompted HOchie 1 to toss a mini hissy fit, scaring this dude next to her. But, due to clumsiness, Tai who had been munching on an apple, dropped said fruit and was forced to climb down his perch and then back up in all his cutie panda glory - ushering coos, squeals of delight and 'oooo's and ahhhh's' from all his fans.
The remainder of the evening was spent hanging out with TD5 and his family for good eats and good times.

That night back at the hotel was hilarious. X heard nothing and all I could make out was "It's MC" but apparently TD5 "porn slapped" MC which he claimed was really his getting up stupid in the middle of the night not knowing where he was and asking, "who dat?!" ::slap:: followed by MC's, "It's MC". Since it seemed they sorted themselves out I didn't bother to wake up completely.

The next morning was the most fun part of the weekend. HOchie 1, Luis and Aims set off for the American Indian Museum while MC, X and I made our way to the Japanese, Chinese, Korean, Indian and African exhibits. Our pictures are hilarious. There are such memorable moments as "India vs. China in Japan", "Praying to the Sun God, Rah", "Red Ninja Ho of the Red Ninja Clan - D.C. Division" and "I don't know how to wrap iiittttt". We were infused with culture and had fun while doing it. Don't judge us!

The trip back home was long, once again thank you to NJ but not as bad as before. MC, X and I did get our asses handed to us though in round 3 of the Car Outburst Champeenship.

All in all it was fun.

Though, the question remains: was it really worth it being stuck in the car for 9 hours, a trip that was supposed to be about 4, to see that Panda?

A few general notes about Washington D.C.:

The signs are cool because this is EXACTLY how I run:



Everything is consolidated in D.C. There's the chinese food/fried chicken/seafood/crab/lobster eatery all in one on every corner. And these are right next to the lottery/liqour/pawn shop/spa shops. It's brilliant! They're on to something...

D.C. is FULL of Plague Carriers!!! ::shudder::

And don't mess with shady people in shady vans