Keeping the Town Hippy Free

Oh my Lork.

I saw a hippy today in Manhattan.

A REAL hippy!

A 1960s hippy, hippy!

With a VW mustard yellow van complete with curtains!

Clearly a hippy left the 1960s via a worm hole and ended up in 2009, Manhattan.

Clearly that hippy was lost because Woodstock is waaaay off from Manhattan.

Talk about shock.

You'd be shocked too if you saw this mustard monstrosity driving along admist of black town cars and cabs.

Ugh.

I need to get back to work on the whole eliminate the hippies thing.

Preacious Moments in NJ... and My "4th" Trip to Crooklyn.

This is perhaps only the second and one half time I've 'willingly' gone to NJ.

Truly, there have been no instances I've wanted to be in the leading force of the New Axis of Evil but sometimes circumstances such as the one that arose last night made me have to step foot.

It was by far the most unpleasant reason for being there and The HOchieS are sorry for Sandy Cheeks and her family.

In any event, any trip to NJ would be plagued with misadventures and rubbish (har har, it's a dumping ground for the U.S. after all).

Back when I went to Ozzfest, that was plagued with crazies and the hottest day for that year and when in hell, it just feels oh so much hotter.

In 2005 when we went to see Foozer, it rained heavily and we were stuck in traffic forever.

Well, it rained last night too but for the first time, The HOchieS actually went into a town.

Oo.

The first bit of shade we saw was a place called "Face Burger". I did not get to take a picture, sadly. I had never heard of such a place but I just googled it and it exists. You may want to click at your own risk though because it is not surprisingly freezing up my Internet. Evil, I say!

Face Burger could very well be one of many locations for a shady cover operation we were forced to view at a nearby Dunkin Donuts.

We quickly texted Frass to let him know that we think that his mission in life should be to educate and prevent teenage pregnancy because it's bad enough kids are having kids, but when those kids from NJ are having NJ kids, it just breeds assholes...and not prize ones either.

Sure enough, at the Dunkin Donuts these two idiots were having a hard on the eyes and hard to repeat field day. It was well gross.

The third monstrosity of the evening, we found at a Hallmark in NJ and it was just preacious...



...confirming that Frass needs to get on the campaign to stop the breeding of stupid.

After our sad buisness in NJ, we went to more sad buisness in Crooklyn.

Again, the HOchieS are sorry to our friends across the street and their family.

As we said earlier, there's been gloom and doom surrounding us but we hope things will start to get better for all soon.

On our way to Brooklyn, we passed through my favourite place - Canal Street! I waved goodbye to Dragon Land Bakery, the Information Booth and Golden Bridge Dim Sum House. It's not often I'm in Chinatown at night and it made me happy to see things I knew.

But then we got to Crooklyn.

The drivers are less than stellar in the area (granted you have to be more aggressive in some areas than some and there are crazy drivers wherever you go) we were in and it was scary times to be on the road for a bit.

During the entire trip from NJ to Brooklyn to home, we saw many signs. A lot of them had unlit letters and read things such as "UH UL" and "L" (as in moteL).

It was the sign in Crooklyn going towards Avenue L that had me super confused.

It was hanging over a West Indian eatery that boasted "HALAL MEAT". It continued and under it was listed, "No pork" etc, etc.

Umm.

I know what halal means.

But I felt very offended by that sign because I hate that pigs get a bad rep., and quite frankly, anything that says no pork, can't be kosher (har har har. Sorry, that just slipped out and I refuse to delete it).

And as I thought on it more, I find it a peculiar concept that if you're going to be blessing a meat, why not bless pork? It seems to me that if your prayer can't cleanse a pig, then there's something very wrong there. I'm not trying to be an asshole, a prize one at that, but if prayer is not strong enough to cleanse then I am confused.

Don't be dissing pig!

Currently listening to: Whatever Bunji is watching on the TV downstairs.

So I Have to Say...

Memories are strange things.

I'm listening to "Around My Christmas Tree" by Lennox Gray (Thanks Frass and CLee) and it's nothing like I remembered. Did it always sound so... Trini?

I think I like Momma HOchieS' in the kitchen around Christmas time version better from way back in 1980-something.

Currently: Confused.

Eenterestin'

There's something not quite right about this picture with Bugs Bunny...



Hmmm...

Oh, we see it now. His ears look a bit too long.

Currently listening to: "J-E-N-O-V-A" by Nobuo Uematsu from the Final Fantasy VII soundtrack

1:33 AM

Again with this 1:33 AM.

That's the time my exciting e-mail came in on October 1st and that's the time I got the follow up.

I just woke up to find it.

I am so overwhelmed right now...

First I was in bliss, and now I'm wondering if forty pounds was too much.

Maybe I should go ahead and download the one I bought for free? Maybe it'll sound better?

Ahhh...

It's too early to be tossing all these new noises at me.

I just need to calm down and let this simmer in 5 hours when I'm on the train and properly awake.

Currently listening to: "Jiggsaw Falling Into Place" and the rest of In Rainbows by Radiohead

...

...

...

I've been playing The Legend of Zelda series for quite some time now. Granted, I did nothing more than chop bushes when I was younger when I took the role of Link on the NES.

But I've graduated.

I'd like to think that I'm now what H1 would call a Zelda Connoisseur.

At least, this is what I thought until tonight.

Can someone explain to me WHY I am having one hell of a time getting my drawing of the Triforce to register on the DS?! I've been at it for at least 15 minutes now and if that area was not in a safe zone, my Phantom Hourglass sand would have run out 6 minutes ago!

I'm pretty sure my rendition of it should should open that gd red door in the Ocean King's Temple!!!!!

How could I not know what the Triforce looks like?! I've one pinned to my bag that I see 7 days a week, for fuck's sake!

ARRRRRRGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

My confidence as a Zelda expert has been shaken.

And the red door remains closed.

Edit:

Doesn't this look like a Triforce?!



I guess it does not for the Phantom Hourglass.

By the way - if you listen closely after I draw my triforce, the "nuh uh, fuck you, you got it wrong" buzz can be heard and the words on the screen are "nothing happened".

For future reference (because you know, it only took me 45 minutes to do), the PROPER way to draw a triforce is to start at the top, go left, stop middle, draw to the right, extend that line diagonally going left, then up left, complete the left side of the triangle, draw the bottom, then from the bottom, draw the right side of the triangle - back to the top and there you have it.

Why am I logging this?

Because the next time this shart happens, I want to be properly prepared!

If there's one thing I've learnt, it's that there's always a next time for bullshart!

Currently listening to: the "nuh-uh, fuck you, you got it wrong" buzzer in my head. Brilliant, I tell you. ...

Memories From Japan, Sullied In NY

To be more specific, it's really that my memories of the good times at the Japanese Arcades have been sullied in my living room here in NY.

I bought Taiko Drum Master today and completely forgot that games such as these when they come over to the U.S. are created to suit our 'tastes'.

So instead of all those cool-assed Japanese songs that I taiko-ed to in Japan, I get crap like "ABC" by the Jacksons and ugh, wait for a cringe... "Toxic" by the train wreck Britney S.

Of course, I am not saying that the Japanese didn't have some J-pop bullsheet in the Arcade versions but they also had traditional Japanese songs.

Powerful Logic:

This is Taiko Drum Master.
A taiko drum is Japanese.
A U.S. created song is not Japanese.
therefore, need I finish this equation?

Eh.

It may not be that horrible for the Powerful Logic reason described above but it certainly loses something hearing that type of drum over a regular trap set. It doesn't quite fit. Also, those drums were massive and the sound in the arcade was greatness for actually hearing the taiko drum.

That and I miss the cool Namco/Nintendo songs they had going down at the Arcades. Who knew that taiko-ing the Mario Themes and The Legend of Zelda Theme could be so damned hard?

I want to go back to Tokyo right now.

Ah, the memories...

We Are So Confused

While it may be kind of cool that Tom Jones knows enough of them to do a "tribute" such as this...



we still have to ask two things:

what do our boys think of this?

and why...

was...

this...

allowed...

to...

happen...

?