::Shhhhpp::
Train tracks used; rulers bought.
All for naught.
No matter how hard she tried, never could a straight line be drawn.
Pictures sketched, characters are all laid out sideways and tilted, and never framed properly.
Such is my life, and such are the stresses my characters have to endure.
Currently listening to: "Fabulously Lazy" by Franz Ferdinand.
Showing posts with label Story. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Story. Show all posts
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Crooked
::Snip::
No matter how hard she tried, never could a straight line be cut.
Presents wrapped appear neat on the outside, but tucked away under folds in the back, the crooked truth revealing crooked lines and jagged pretty paper from an unsteady hand lay hidden until unwrapped.
Such is my life, and such are the stresses of my Christmas tasks every year.
Currently listening to: "Freedom" (Live) by Rage Against The Machine.
No matter how hard she tried, never could a straight line be cut.
Presents wrapped appear neat on the outside, but tucked away under folds in the back, the crooked truth revealing crooked lines and jagged pretty paper from an unsteady hand lay hidden until unwrapped.
Such is my life, and such are the stresses of my Christmas tasks every year.
Currently listening to: "Freedom" (Live) by Rage Against The Machine.
Monday, December 03, 2007
Bloody Murder
A Saturday like any other normal Saturday turned sour when this shocking discovery was found:
It was a scene of gore-filled horror involving a leafy lounger and a missing Trixie.
The signs look bleak. With that amount of not yet confirmed "unidentifiable substance", we predict this could only have ended poorly.
It is an apparent senseless dispute over a red-ticketed item. The only one left in stock but at a killer price of $5.00, well...that is just be a poor and insensitive choice of wording on my part.
A suspect, Infantino, was brought in. Why do they always return to the scene of the crime?
This investigation is pending.
This dark day at the Toy Store will live in infamy.
It was a scene of gore-filled horror involving a leafy lounger and a missing Trixie.
The signs look bleak. With that amount of not yet confirmed "unidentifiable substance", we predict this could only have ended poorly.
It is an apparent senseless dispute over a red-ticketed item. The only one left in stock but at a killer price of $5.00, well...that is just be a poor and insensitive choice of wording on my part.
A suspect, Infantino, was brought in. Why do they always return to the scene of the crime?
This investigation is pending.
This dark day at the Toy Store will live in infamy.
Monday, August 20, 2007
A Day In the Life of Gnome
After a day's work of driving from his day apartment near Flat Hillians, over Bridgey Bridge, through the forest of some-kind-of-an-apple trees (which incidentally has only two trees, forming an archway of sorts), and on the edge of Smudgy Mirror Lake, Gnome reaches his Castle in the Fog.
There, his work is not finished.
Indeed, avoiding the Giant known as "Boobey-Head" (or so Gnome gathered one day after hearing a thunderous echo bellow above his head and hidden ears under his pointed striped blue hat call to the mythical creature, forcing Gnome to dart under the Clothey Bush in the Garden near his summer home, Gnome-Cottage) was not the only task Gnome would undertake that day.
At Castle in the Fog, he finds himself drafted into doing tedious calculations.
"Grin from ear to ear!", says Gnome.
This is Gnome's life motto, regardless of the situation and a good motto it is, he thinks.
However, all work and no play for Gnome will not do.
Listening to music through oversized headphones and doing a bit of a jig (stiff jig as it may seem to the untrained eye) is a grand way to spend the evening:
Alas, it is 10.10 PM, also known as "The Gnomey Hour", and it is time for our friend to rest.
It's been a long, hard day.
Tossing and turning is a must before shut eye,
but comfy pillows cradle Gnome off into the Land of the Zzzs, where dreams of Boobey-Heads, calculators, Mirror Lake and Flat Hillians lie waiting....oddly enough on what looks like carpet.
Goo'day.
Currently listening to: "Direction" by Interpol
There, his work is not finished.
Indeed, avoiding the Giant known as "Boobey-Head" (or so Gnome gathered one day after hearing a thunderous echo bellow above his head and hidden ears under his pointed striped blue hat call to the mythical creature, forcing Gnome to dart under the Clothey Bush in the Garden near his summer home, Gnome-Cottage) was not the only task Gnome would undertake that day.
At Castle in the Fog, he finds himself drafted into doing tedious calculations.
"Grin from ear to ear!", says Gnome.
This is Gnome's life motto, regardless of the situation and a good motto it is, he thinks.
However, all work and no play for Gnome will not do.
Listening to music through oversized headphones and doing a bit of a jig (stiff jig as it may seem to the untrained eye) is a grand way to spend the evening:
Alas, it is 10.10 PM, also known as "The Gnomey Hour", and it is time for our friend to rest.
It's been a long, hard day.
Tossing and turning is a must before shut eye,
but comfy pillows cradle Gnome off into the Land of the Zzzs, where dreams of Boobey-Heads, calculators, Mirror Lake and Flat Hillians lie waiting....oddly enough on what looks like carpet.
Goo'day.
Currently listening to: "Direction" by Interpol
Sunday, November 26, 2006
More Idiot Than Savant
Once upon a time, in the land of Denial, there lived an IS named Mitch *Connors*...uh I mean... an IS named Mooch *Cunnurs* (identity changed so as not to protect the seemingly innocent).
MC lived a quiet life in gloomy ole Rochester, counseling the troubled youth of America. Uh, make that Rochester.
MC was loved by all but was not without enemies. Actually, his only true self-proclaimed enemy was pork. Although not much is known as to where this animosity between MC and the pork emerged, one thing was 'certain'... Pork was the Babylon Meat.
One day at a local pizza parlor while treating said troubled youth to some lunch,
little did he know about the trouble HE was about to face and counseling he would receive from his young students. Nothing would prepare him for what would become one of the greatest life choices he would ever have to make.
MC: Kids! What will we be having today? I could go for a slice of pepperoni myself.
Kids: That sounds good but why don't you get more meat? You should add some bacon and ham as well.
MC: No, no, no. I don't eat pork.
Kids: What?! Hahahahahahahahahahaha!
MC: What is so funny?" he asked, while thinking 'WDA?' (He was trying his best to keep it PG being that these were youths and all).
Kids: But sir, don't you know what pepperoni is?
MC: ...
(MC now has a bewildered look on his face)
Kids: Sir, pepperoni is pork.
MC, having already ordered the pepperoni slice, shrugged.
A few weeks later, via gchat with TD5, he raised the question, "TD5, did you know pepperoni is pork?"
To which TD5 responded, "of course it is; what kind of Trini are you?"
"I didn't know...all these years.", MC said.
"So where did you think it came from, MC?" asked TD5.
"I always thought some kind of pepperoni animal," Mitch replied.
TD5 logged off.
Flashforward to Thanksgiving weekend at the HOchie Residence. The scent of ham was wafting throughout the house. All creatures were stirring except Mooch *Cunnurs*.
Papa HOchie: MC, you don't eat pork?
TD5: Ask him about pepperoni.
MC: TD5, why did you have to go there?
Papa HOchie: You eat ham?
MC: No
Papa HOchie: You eat bacon?
(no response)
Papa Hochie: You eat pepperoni?
MC: yes (in a meek voice)
Papa HOchie: But you like pepperoni?
MC: yes, all these years...
Papa HOchie: But then you like pork. Just admit it.
- This blog post and story was brought to you by The HOchies, TD5 and X
Details of the above story are not transcripted and are a bit sketchy but have been assembled through conversations by all parties involved. Denial is most welcome by MC even though video footage of a full confession is available to provide further corroboration.
In a quest to discover what a Pepperoni Animal may look like, we searched google for answers. Google turned up with nothing as expected. With paper, pencil, markers and imaginaaaation, we have come up with a concept sketch:
We can only assume that a Pepperoni Animal would say "moink moink" being that as pepperoni is a combination of a cow and pig, 'moink' is only as logical as this entire post.
MC lived a quiet life in gloomy ole Rochester, counseling the troubled youth of America. Uh, make that Rochester.
MC was loved by all but was not without enemies. Actually, his only true self-proclaimed enemy was pork. Although not much is known as to where this animosity between MC and the pork emerged, one thing was 'certain'... Pork was the Babylon Meat.
One day at a local pizza parlor while treating said troubled youth to some lunch,
little did he know about the trouble HE was about to face and counseling he would receive from his young students. Nothing would prepare him for what would become one of the greatest life choices he would ever have to make.
MC: Kids! What will we be having today? I could go for a slice of pepperoni myself.
Kids: That sounds good but why don't you get more meat? You should add some bacon and ham as well.
MC: No, no, no. I don't eat pork.
Kids: What?! Hahahahahahahahahahaha!
MC: What is so funny?" he asked, while thinking 'WDA?' (He was trying his best to keep it PG being that these were youths and all).
Kids: But sir, don't you know what pepperoni is?
MC: ...
(MC now has a bewildered look on his face)
Kids: Sir, pepperoni is pork.
MC, having already ordered the pepperoni slice, shrugged.
A few weeks later, via gchat with TD5, he raised the question, "TD5, did you know pepperoni is pork?"
To which TD5 responded, "of course it is; what kind of Trini are you?"
"I didn't know...all these years.", MC said.
"So where did you think it came from, MC?" asked TD5.
"I always thought some kind of pepperoni animal," Mitch replied.
TD5 logged off.
Flashforward to Thanksgiving weekend at the HOchie Residence. The scent of ham was wafting throughout the house. All creatures were stirring except Mooch *Cunnurs*.
Papa HOchie: MC, you don't eat pork?
TD5: Ask him about pepperoni.
MC: TD5, why did you have to go there?
Papa HOchie: You eat ham?
MC: No
Papa HOchie: You eat bacon?
(no response)
Papa Hochie: You eat pepperoni?
MC: yes (in a meek voice)
Papa HOchie: But you like pepperoni?
MC: yes, all these years...
Papa HOchie: But then you like pork. Just admit it.
- This blog post and story was brought to you by The HOchies, TD5 and X
Details of the above story are not transcripted and are a bit sketchy but have been assembled through conversations by all parties involved. Denial is most welcome by MC even though video footage of a full confession is available to provide further corroboration.
In a quest to discover what a Pepperoni Animal may look like, we searched google for answers. Google turned up with nothing as expected. With paper, pencil, markers and imaginaaaation, we have come up with a concept sketch:
We can only assume that a Pepperoni Animal would say "moink moink" being that as pepperoni is a combination of a cow and pig, 'moink' is only as logical as this entire post.
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