This HOchie broke out of work early to do a Horror movie Double-Header Friday with good friends Beetchie and the Giant Kitty. Yes, Mitch *Connors*, Giant Kitty is SF.
We started out with Pulse. I knew this movie was going to be crap but being that I have a heterosexual girl crush on Suga'Face #1, Kristen Bell of Veronica Mars fame, I felt the need to go support her. And she truly is a Suga'Face but I'm not used to seeing her be so dense... so smart on VM. Not so much in this movie... Blondes. Tch.
Not much to say about that movie other than there were some freakish moments but we're still kind of confused as to exactly what went on there. I might need to go watch the original Japanese movie to try to figure it out but as we all know, those Japanese are often hella confusing as is, so I expect no real clarity.
With 50 minutes to kill between the end of that movie and the beginning of The Descent, we decided that a bathroom break was in order and whatever else we could find to do.
So who knew that the AMC 25 had a terrace? But let me tell you people now, keep away from that damned terrace! It's really frickin' high up there. Beetchie was holding on for dear life but more importantly, we blame the terrace for making us get the only available seats located in the second row from the front. Ugh, eye hurt! And for those of you following, so we had 50 minutes and we still managed to get crappy seats but if you had to backpack it through that theatre, as Beetchie pointed out, you'd be late too!
With a sleepy giant kitty on my right, a The Descent veteran on my left, and a theatre full of crazy MFs, we settled down and prepped for gore-filled fun.
Some girls screaming next to us scared Beetchie. What I don't understand is this: haven't they ever watched horror movies before? Every 'scary' moment that came, I certainly knew was coming. The movie followed a simple horror formula. It was still cool though.
We then headed to Dave & Busters (Beetchie, I didn't know you had stock in that place. You do, don't you, Buster? - har har) for some Zombie killing action. My accuracy was 67% the first time and incredibly less the second. Uh, my rings hurt my shooting hand. I know, I'm supposed to aim for the head but I swear, that thing was not registering properly. Beetchie agrees with me. Our "House of the Dead 4" ranks - C & D after level 1. Our rank after level 2: unknown. We didn't make it that far. Zombies ate our brains! I hate me some zombies... Beetchie and I will go back and rock that another day with more money and more time. Oh yes. Oh yes.
WTF moment of the night:
This girl was on her idiot man's shoulders and I thought it was a kid. And she was reaching out to touch Beetchie's hair but then I realized that it wasn't a kid, it was a grown ass girl being a bitch because she thought it funny to mess with people on the street. Why the hell was that bitch messing with my friend? Don't touch her hair! I hate assholes. I was thinking I should trip him which would result in her falling off his shoulders and breaking her stupid face but I also thought, two giant black guys and one ghetto bitch against little me would probably land me in the hospital. Karma will get them and I'll be out of the hospital.
Quotes of the day:
"Oh HEEELLLLSSS NO. No Bitch, you betta' run yo' ass outta there! If it was a Chinese girl in that situation, you best believe her ass is gone. Why do you think there's so many of us in the world? We know how to act." - Beetchie, on Pulse.
"Oh no...poor Christina Milian. ::sad face:: She's too cute to die." - Franz.
"DAMNED TERRACE!" - Me.
"That Juno reminds me of Patty. It's Patty!
And she's...hardcore. Don't mess with Patty! Yay, Patty! Oh, Patty's kind of scaring me." - Franz
"You killed her child, that ugly face that only an ugly mother can love! Oooooooo..." - Me."You know Franz, just because you can't keep your husband doesn't mean you have to take it out on me." - Me, on Franz leading us to salvation out of the cave in The Descent.
Currently listening to: "Is It Any Wonder?" by Keane. Or what HOchie 1 and I like to call it,
"Give me one last chance and you'll be satisfied.
Give me two chances and you won't be denied.
Well my heart is where it's always been,
My head is somewhere in between,
Give me one more chance,
Let me be your lover tonight.
Is it any wonder...? or was it, you're the real thing?
Even better than the real thing?"
Despite my just poking a little fun at them, while I'm on the subject of Keane, I must say I am incredibly impressed by their second album "Under the Iron Sea". It is an amazing piece of work. I'm actually saddened that I will not see them at the Hammerstein on September 13th. ::sniff:: I'll catch my crazy pianist 'hardcore rocker', Tim Rice-Oxley next time.
Hahaha. Nice article. I hate it when people screw around in a movie theatre. I remember I was watching Batman Begins and someone shouted that someone's mom was a whore, and for five minutes people kept shouting "shut up".
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of movies, I plan on writing "Movies to Avoid - Volume 2", because there's just too many movies to add to Volume 1, so I may finish it in a week or two...
Thanks. We had fun times regardless of whatever crap it was we were watching. Sometimes, it's all about the hanging out and not so much the movie itself. Good friends make for good company and that always makes for good times.
ReplyDeleteI rather enjoyed your "Movies to Avoid" so I look forward to Volume 2. And I'm sure you'll have a lot to blog about because I've seen the previews for the upcoming events and wow, talk about suckfest.
I'm waiting for the re-release of "The Nightmare Before Christmas". It's going to be fantastic!
First of all, I think some folks will be confused by those so-called quotes. Ok, it might just be me. "Juno"??? LOL
ReplyDeleteBTW, did I mention that Christina Milian hails from Jersey City? As if we needed any more confirmation that only quality people live in jersey City...
Christina Milian just became really dirty and hideous to me.
ReplyDeleteNot that you are, Giant Kitty, I'm just saying.
ReplyDeleteOh, and don't forget 16.
So it struck me that Juno is the character's name. Don't even ask what I was thinking.
ReplyDeleteIt was cool that soon after I said she reminds me of Patty, she started kicking butt and had the audience cheering for her. Awww. Lesson: Don't mess with Patty. She's gangsta.
Speaking of 16; when I took a COLLEGE class on human sexuality the professor said he and other scholars believe that the legal age should be lowered to 13. I kid you not.