Midtown Monday: Part I

"A Case of the Mondays"? Hardly.

It may come as a surprise to most but I'm actually a fan of Mondays.

Due to the fact that my brain is still in weekend mode, I don't really process that I'm at work until Tuesday.

My brain's some the times amazing.

So, already having an okay Monday is always made better by a shady pale yellow truck, shady (no need to insert yellow - or golden as Beetchie would say) Asians, and Taiwanese fried chicken with SPECIAL SECRET pork sauce over rice with Chinese mustard greens.

Yeah, you read right.

A new street eats truck called NYC Cravings has been making its way around the city, delivering two things: dumplings of the pork or veggie variety, and the above mentioned yummy fried chicken goodness.

Always eager to try new truck food and have a potential misadventure (you never know until you try!), H1, Alex and I trekked over to 46th & 6th when we were alerted via the midtownlunch blog, to guinea pig some fried chicken.



Unfortunately, you can't really make out the pale yellow from this picture thanks to my camera phone but it's an unmarked van that looks irregular. You can figure out which truck it is.



Oh Lork! I ate from a guy whose hand was THAT close to his nose?! Ahahaha, oh it's only a jest. It was clean. Today is Thursday and I was no where near ill and that scratching of the face was the shyness of a cutie Asian who didn't really want me to take his picture.



See? There's the cutie Asian! The girl who was helping him did not want to be in the picture and ran away but she was a cutie too.

They were anything but shady to tell you the truth (I mean special, secret pork sauce is kind of shady in itself but damned tasty) and were in fact, quite the friendly, sweetie types. It's always refreshing to meet nice Asians. Goodness knows I don't know any of those...Right, Beetchie? Ha.

Their unshady status could all change if we find out for sure if our fears are true - and that is that they may be Bingies. For now, we're going to pretend we didn't stumble upon that potentially true information.

Next Monday we're going back and bringing friends for more good times of crispy chicken, hopefully we'll be able to sample the pork dumplings this time since they only had effin' veggie dumplings, and a little chocolate fortune cookie that did not insult me.

The picture's not going to do it any justice to the meal but I'll post it anyway.



All of this just reminds us that Momma HO used to make the most awesome of Chinese style fried chicken times that we've not eaten in years.

We're working on trying to convince her that she should do that for us soon and so far it isn't working.

Curse you, Momma HO!

Support Your People

Beetchie and CLee, do your people a kindness and support them.

From a New York Times article:


By DAVID BARBOZA
Published: April 27, 2009

SHENZHEN, China — The phone’s sleek lines and touch-screen keyboard are unmistakably familiar. So is the logo on the back. But a sales clerk at a sprawling electronic goods market in this Chinese coastal city admits what is clear upon closer inspection: this is not the Apple iPhone; this is the Hi-Phone.

“But it’s just as good,” the clerk says.

Nearby, dozens of other vendors are selling counterfeit Nokia, Motorola and Samsung phones — as well as cheap look-alikes that make no bones about being knockoffs.

“Five years ago, there were no counterfeit phones,” says Xiong Ting, a sales manager at Triquint Semiconductor, a maker of mobile phone parts, while visiting Shenzhen. “You needed a design house. You needed software guys. You needed hardware design. But now, a company with five guys can do it. Within 100 miles of here, you can find all your suppliers.”

Technological advances have allowed hundreds of small Chinese companies, some with as few as 10 employees, to churn out what are known here as shanzhai, or black market, cellphones, often for as little as $20 apiece...

...Nokia, the world’s biggest cellphone maker, says it is working with Beijing to fight counterfeiting. Motorola says much the same. Apple Inc. declined to comment...

...“I saw iPhone pictures on the Web; it’s so cool. But it costs over $500 — too expensive,” says Yang Guibin, 30, an office worker from Chongqing. “So I decided to buy a shanzhai iPhone. I bought it in a digital market here; it looked exactly like the iPhone.”

Some experts say they believe the shanzhai phenomena is about being creative, Chinese style.

“Chinese grass-roots companies are actually very innovative,” says Yu Zhou, a professor at Vassar College. “It’s not so much technology as how they form supply chains and how rapidly they react to new trends.”

While the phones may look like famous brands, companies actually add special features like bigger screens, dual-mode SIM cards (which allow two phone numbers) and even a telescopic lens attachment for the phone’s camera.

Since it is the SIM card that makes a phone run in China, as in most places other than the United States, all you have to do is insert a valid SIM card into a shanzhai phone and it works.

All this innovation comes from an industry that only took off in 2005, after Mediatek, a semiconductor design company from Taiwan, helped significantly reduce the cost and complexity of producing a mobile phone.

Using what experts call a turnkey solution, Mediatek developed a circuit board that could inexpensively integrate the functions of multiple chips, offering start-ups a platform to produce a low-cost mobile phone.

The industry got another boost in 2007, when regulators said companies no longer needed a license to manufacture a cellphone.

That set off a scramble by entrepreneurs in this electronics manufacturing center. Counterfeiting and off-brand knockoffs flourished. Tiny companies would buy a Mediatek chip loaded with software, source other components and ask a factory to assemble them.

Marketing strategies were simple: steal. Designs and brand names were copied identically or simply mimicked. (Sumsung for Samsung or Nckia for Nokia.)

Tapping into the supply chains of big brands is easy, producers say. “It’s really common for factories to do a night shift for other companies,” says Zhang Haizhen, who recently ran a shanzhai company here. “No one will refuse an order if it is over 5,000 mobile phones.”

The people who make fake iPhones admit it’s a shady business.

“We are a kind of illegal producer,” says Zhang Feiyang, whose company, Yuanyang, makes an iPhone clone. “In Shenzhen there are many small mills, hidden. Basically, we can make any type of cellphone.”

The competition is already forcing global brands to lower prices, analysts say. And new Chinese brands are emerging, like Meizu, a would-be Apple that has opened stylish stores here.

“Our phone is even better than the iPhone,” says Liu Zeyu, a Meizu salesman in Shenzhen. “Our goal is to create a phone that makes Chinese proud.”

Chen Yang contributed research.




Buy a Hiphone.



They need the money more.

The Chinese, Cardboard and Bao

It turns out that the cardboard bao story, which we posted earlier this month, was untrue.

The Chinese claimed that the story was fabricated by the journalist to increase television ratings.

That's a bit of a relief. Or is it?

We think the Chinese Government's doing damage control!

You just don't fuck with the Chinese, as we already know.

Uhhh, but if by chance members of the the Chinese Government read our blog...heh heh, we only keed. That story was a fabrication, just like you said!

Currently watching: our backs...

O.M.G. I am BEYOND Traumatized

BEIJING, China (AP) -- Chopped cardboard, softened with an industrial chemical and flavored with fatty pork and powdered seasoning, is a main ingredient in batches of steamed buns sold in one Beijing neighborhood, state television said.


Steamed buns sold in Beijing contain 60 percent cardboard, a report on China Central Television said.

The report, aired late Wednesday on China Central Television, highlights the country's problems with food safety despite government efforts to improve the situation.

Countless small, often illegally run operations exist across China and make money cutting corners by using inexpensive ingredients or unsavory substitutes. They are almost impossible to regulate.

State TV's undercover investigation features the shirtless, shorts-clad maker of the buns, called baozi, explaining the contents of the product sold in Beijing's sprawling Chaoyang district.

Baozi are a common snack in China, with an outer skin made from wheat or rice flour and a filling of sliced pork. Cooked by steaming in immense bamboo baskets, they are similar to but usually much bigger than the dumplings found on dim sum menus familiar to many Americans.

The hidden camera follows the man, whose face is not shown, into a ramshackle building where steamers are filled with the fluffy white buns, traditionally stuffed with minced pork.

The surroundings are filthy, with water puddles and piles of old furniture and cardboard on the ground.

"What's in the recipe?" the reporter asks. "Six to four," the man says.

"You mean 60 percent cardboard? What is the other 40 percent?" asks the reporter. "Fatty meat," the man replies.

The bun maker and his assistants then give a demonstration on how the product is made.

Squares of cardboard picked from the ground are first soaked to a pulp in a plastic basin of caustic soda -- a chemical base commonly used in manufacturing paper and soap -- then chopped into tiny morsels with a cleaver. Fatty pork and powdered seasoning are stirred in.

Soon, steaming servings of the buns appear on the screen. The reporter takes a bite.

"This baozi filling is kind of tough. Not much taste," he says. "Can other people taste the difference?"

"Most people can't. It fools the average person," the maker says. "I don't eat them myself."

The police eventually showed up and shut down the operation.

Copyright 2007 The Associated Press. All rights reserved.

...

I'd try one.

And I Am Very, Very Happy...

Public toilet has 1,000 stalls in four stories

Chongqing officials hope for Guinness record

BEIJING, China (AP) -- They're flush with pride in Chongqing, where a recently opened porcelain palace features an Egyptian facade, soothing music and more than 1,000 toilets spread out over 30,000 square feet.


Some of the 1,000 stalls are open air overlooking the street in Chonging, China.

Officials in the southwestern Chinese city plan to ask Guinness World Records to have the free four-story public bathroom listed as the world's largest, state-run China Central Television reported Friday.

"We are spreading toilet culture. People can listen to gentle music and watch TV," said Lu Xiaoqing, an official with the Yangrenjie, or "Foreigners Street," tourist area where the bathroom is. "After they use the bathroom they will be very, very happy."

Footage aired on CCTV showed people milling about the sprawling facility and washing their hands at trough sinks. For open-aired relief, there's a cluster of stalls without a roof.

Some urinals are uniquely shaped, including ones inside open crocodile mouths and several topped by the bust of a woman resembling the Virgin Mary.

There are also plans to build a supermarket nearby, which will sell toilet-related items, CCTV reported.

Copyright 2007 The Associated Press.

...yes. Yes I am.

or at least I was until I saw the sinks:



Well, at least they're wearing undies.

photo source: www.cnn.com

Those damn Chinese really do eat anything ...

BEIJING (AP) -- Villagers in central China dug up a ton of dinosaur bones and boiled them in soup or ground them into powder for traditional medicine, believing they were from flying dragons and had healing powers.

Until last year, the fossils were being sold in Henan province as "dragon bones" at about 4 yuan (50 cents) per kilogram (2.2 pounds), scientist Dong Zhiming told The Associated Press on Wednesday.

Dong, a professor with the Institute of Vertebrate Paleontology and Paleoanthropology of the Chinese Academy of Sciences, said when the villagers found out the bones were from dinosaurs they donated 200 kilograms (440 pounds) to him and his colleagues for research.

"They had believed that the 'dragon bones' were from the dragons flying in the sky," he said.

The calcium-rich bones were sometimes boiled with other ingredients and fed to children as a treatment for dizziness and leg cramps. Other times they were ground up and made into a paste that was applied directly to fractures and other injuries, he said.

© 2007 The Associated Press.

I hope the soup was good but I don't know how it could be.

- H1

I Was Right!

The Chinese WILL save this show! At least, until next week when I expect it to all go down in flames again.

I'm not sure why The Chinese are taking orders from Jack's daddy but whatever.

***SPOILERS***

The S6 24 HC Continues

2 AM to 3 AM:

Okay. The Chinese Ryan Reynolds is awesome. Yeah?

I'm still in shock from this episode, so there won't be much to say on it but damn!

Head Count: 9. =,( Now Nadia really needs to die! Back to years without Milo...

The Chinese MIGHT Save This Show

The 24 HC Continues

1 AM to 2 AM:

The Chinese = best cursing sequence eva'.

Lisa = whore

VP = creepy, scary man who loves him some blondes, including Karen Hayes?

Nadia = bitch we'd like to see get her ass handed to her in the very near future...like in two minutes

Horlicks = a drink with a conscience? But oh, not listening to Jack Bauer. Jack will pay you back for that. So watch your milky ass!

Audrey = dazed and confused because her NBC show got cancelled only to be dropped in a show that's losing its fans fast.

Chloe crying in the corner = a broken-hearted Or 2.

Ok, the line for tonight from The Sec. of Defense: Jack, you are a curse.

And my line for tonight's episode: That Audrey/Jack Sleeping Beauty scene was vomit worthy. He should have just sired her and be done with the whole thing.

Audrey Confused Count = 5 scenes

Head Count = 0.

A Continuation of the Stupid Season

But maybe the Chinese can save this show. Maybe.

****SPOILERS****

The S6 24 HC Continues

12 AM to 1 AM:

If I saw some Horlicks in the street, I'd totally stop and pick it up! I do enjoy how this Horlicks admits he's screwed up.

Ahahaha, I was waiting for it: Jack Bauer's gone rogue. Yeah people, like you're really going to take down Jack Bauer.

Ooo, Bill is smart. He made sure to ask Chloe if she was trustworthy and would assist in helping find Jack.

Do you think Powers Boothe would feed Tom Lennox and Karen Hayes to some pIgs?

Ewwwwww. Lisa and VP Daniels should be fed to the pIgs! That's just nasty!

Ahahahahahahaha. Okay, Horlicks is on a roll today. He figured out where Jack was headed like a dog. "He went east!" Yep. He figured it out from tire tracks. Sniff him out, Horlicks!

"My ex-wife is suddenly showing signs of irrational behaviour." - Morris. Oh yes. Chloe is back. But awwwww, why'd you make Morris feel so bad! Low blow reminding him about the arming of the nuke. Low. Blow.

Who's this Peter? A new token, that's who! Ah, he's going to die like all tokens in this show.

Also, I am enjoying this back and forth between Tom and Karen about Bill. It's about time CTU had somebody else running it. Bill had a pretty long run there. It definitely means though that Karen and Bill's marriage is ova'!!!!

Awww, Jack Bauer said a heartfelt goo'day to Bill...you know what that means, Bill is definitely out of hya.

Bill WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY. Noooooooooooooooooooo. =(

Um, I love how the Chinese badass told Audrey to get her ass over nyo in Chinese and Audrey understood.

Who I'd like to see dead in the near future: Nadia!

Audrey dazed count: 3 scenes

Head Count: 6. Ok, how did that rocket launcher hit that helicopter and yet miss? I know. It doesn't make sense to me either.

Luncch

Some Asians know how to create a lunch special:




And others, not so much...

What's Up With Stuff?

This was the fortune HOchie 1 received today from a cookie (or at least it was some bullsheet a-like-so):

Turn the two corners of your mouth from down to upwards into a smile.

What is that? I think the Chinese are running out of fortunes to tell. That wasn't even a fortune!

It's kind of like Broadway. They're running out of stuff to make into musicals. Seriously, "Mary Poppins"? Mary frickin' Poppins.

I also think I'm running out of ideas for blog titles.

S 4 of The 24 H C Ends (The Season That Leaves Us With One Question: What Happened to Baruse?) : 11 PM to 7 AM

11 PM to 12 AM:

Wait, the President got shot down and Audrey didn't cry?

Wait, "we're here to make babies"? In the frickin' desert?! First of all, Ew! And secondly, EW! You know, only hippies do that. Hippies and I guess, people who actually live in deserts.

I'm liking this Jason Gerard. He's very resourceful and clever much like that person the Merry Mesmer knows. It's very unfortunate, however, that more than likely JG will be added to the H C. =(

Hey, Mike is back. Traitor!

Head Count: 3 + confirmation that the President's son is dead, at least 2 members of Airforce 1 and whoever else was on that plane minus the President but he's in pretty bad shape. But at least Jason lived!

Audrey Cry Count: 0 Scenes. That cold bitch.

12 AM to 1 AM:

We're sending Curtis to the gas station. This, Curtis, is the hour you get added to the H C.

This new President is quite sketch.

Do you think Richards has his own fan club? If not, let's start one up: to the lamest interrogator ever. I mean, everytime they mention his name it's supposed to strike fear into you because he's the silent, 'deadly' type but really we've seen him do nothing to date other than botch one of his interrogations!

That damned Jack loves to break him some fingers. Pay attention, Richards because THAT's how an interrogation's done.

Head Count: 1 + the convoy carrying the warhead. Update on how many people should be added to the count due to Airforce 1's hit: more than 75. Damn Curtis escaped again!

Audrey Cry Count: 1 Scene.

1 AM to 2 AM:

So...How long until we get rid of this President Logan, the Asshole? Someone needs to fill him in that Jack Bauer is indeed the only man who can do the job.

OMG, never before have I felt so excited to have insurance sold to me! All Hail President Palmer!

I told you bitches I love that Chloe!!!!!!



Head Count: 5.

Audrey Cry Count: 0 Scenes.

2 AM to 3 AM:

Classic line of the episode - "When I shot that guy, I thought I'd go into fetal position or something but I didn't. I felt nothing. I just hope I'm not some kind of psychopath or something." - Chloe.

Jack's break into the Chinese Consulate reminds me of the time I broke into Hyrule Castle.
Sadly, Jack knows how to get in but not necessarily out without consequence. Now look what happened, the damned Chinese consul is dead and relations are strained.

Head Count: 2. This is why I love Jack. He makes every effort to make his 'concern' look legit, meanwhile he gets what he wants, always! Die Paul! Die!!!!

Audrey Cry Count: 2 Scenes. I don't know why you're blaming this on Jack. It's not his fault CTU's only got one surgeon.

3 AM to 4 AM:

Classic line of this episode: "Chloe, we don't have time for any of your personality disorders." - Buchanan.

WTF moment of this episode: "You know Jack, if you ever need someone to talk to...You know, as a friend, you can talk to me." - Chloe. Okay, now watch Jack's face -



Head Count: 3.

Audrey Cry Count: 2 Scenes.

4 AM to 5 AM:

People like to smirk in this show (but for how long? I think ultimately, the last smirk belongs to the Head Count) -


Tony A. - one smirk closer to oblivion.


Chloe - one smirk closer to Edgar's oblivion.

Head Count: 2.

Audrey Cry Count: 1 Scene.

5 AM to 6 AM:

Ok Michelle, we've seen this situation last season. Do the right thing and don't get busted for treason like Tony did. Call Jack and let him handle things!

And Wow, that terrorist is a bad actress. But I think it's the same biatch who blew up the plane in Season 1.

Just don't mess with the Chinese. Way to sell out Jack, asshat.

Head Count: 5. Meh, don't worry Michelle. Tony gets to watch you die, not the other way around.

Audrey Cry Count: 0 Scenes.

6 Am to 7 AM:

Who I'd Like To see Dead in the Near Future:
1. That damned advisor, Cummings, on Logan's staff. Mike! Take his ass out!
2. President Logan.

Head Count: 3 and Jack, who died for a few minutes...again.

Audrey Cry Count: 2 Scenes.

So getting back to the title of this blog, where is Baruse? Perhaps he's off being re-programmed someplace and the formidable terrorist of a future season could be none other than the stupid himself, orphaned at 17 (partially so due to his own actions) and without crazy Debbie for a girlfriend. That's the kind of stuff that will make you go afer Jack Bauer's ass.

Episodes to watch until the Season 6 premiere in January: 24

It's all right to have butterflies in your stomach. Just get them to fly in formation.

The HochieS signing in.

What...the...cuhrap...is...that? That, peeps, is the fortune we got today from the spare rib tips and crinkle cuts that one of us ate for dinner. Seriously, what the crap.
And the Chinese learnt today from the back of that fortune cookie...
Telephone. Dian-hua.

Weakest...fortune...eva'.