After Durian

This is a disgrace to bacon.

While it may smell like bacon, the chewing part is quite gross. I knew it'd be sweet but I did not expect to feel like throwing up from the taste.

After durian, this might be the second most vile thing I've eaten.





Here's the offending bean:



Hmmm, I wonder whose care package I can stick this into...

The Perfect Pyos

I've started rather late this year with presento-pyo collecting but the constant fear of being jobless and a recession contributed to questioning whether there'd even be a Christmas this year.

The good news is, I'm still excited about Christmas because I have the Office Treat ideas all sorted out and stores are displaying lights and everything festive.

Oh, and I started buying a few things. There's a lot of cool things you can get with $20.00. It's quite nice.

The hunt for presents led to the discovery of two of the most awesome present ideas for a couple of you guys.

Here's one from www.tshirthell.com that's tops for Bunji (tops...t-shirt. Ha.):



For CLEE:

A little something to make the Apple Iphone appear awesome because it sure as hell isn't now, and I'm not just talking about your cracked one either, I'm talking about all Apple Iphones and Ipods.





I especially like that picture of the frying.

As we all know from one of my slogans, bacon makes everything (taste) better.

Currently listening to: "Your Eyes Open" by Keane.

Not For The Faint of Heart

I've a shocking confession to make.

I like popcorn flavoured jelly belly jelly beans.

On another note, this is the year we are all going to perish.

The cold air and horrendous disaster driven weather has stormed its way across the U.S.
California is expected to have some eerie devastating weather anomoly, while Floridian farmers are doing their best to protect their Citrus crops from the freezing temperatures.

This translates into a vicious domino effect cycle leading to my demise.

1. The oranges could die.
2. There'd be no orange juice production.
3. I can't drink orange juice after eating bacon.
4. If I can't drink orange juice to help wash the bacon down, then I can't eat bacon.
5. If I can't eat bacon, then I might as well just lay down and die.

2008 is already turning out to be the lamest year yet.

What next? Mega-Tsunami?
H1, shut your goat assy mouth.

Memorable Conversation of the Evening:

H1: OH NO YOU DON'T. YOU DO NOT LIKE THAT NASTY JB.
Or 2: What? hahahahahahahahahahaha. I do. I ate quite a few today and yesterday
H1's away message: People should keep their dirty secrets to themselves
Or 2: You know. You should support me during this difficult time. Ass.
H1: Support you? During what difficult time? The Popcorn JB incident? The OJ incident?
Or 2: yeah, the jellybeans...instead of telling me to keep dirty secrets to myself. I had the Dr. Pepper (flavoured jelly bean) yesterday. I was stunned.
H1: y?
Or 2: I wasn't expecting it. Then i wanted to dilute it in some water. I was thirsty.
H1: You know I don't understand you, having all these food misadventures in secret at your desk. You did not mention this once all the while. Some BFF you are.
Or 2: Well I only made the discovery today. I tasted the popcorn one once more to be certain
H1: suppose I wanted some JBs, ass. I could see you know nibbling shit at your desk behind all your paper. Secret JB eater. I thought we shared everything,even the nastiness. Oh grief.

Currently listening to: "Wet and Rusting" by Menomena.

Updated Christmas List for 2007

I realize I didn't post anything that I wanted on my list but I probably should very soon, not that i think you asshats will get me anything but I might as well.

In any event... OMG, that was the strangest, most annoying commercial I've ever seen! Stupip Heinekein advert.! I got distracted for a second and had to immediately post that bit of nonsense.

Anyway.

As I was saying to him, as I downed another carling...

H1 sent this to me today and it is, the most fantastic piece of machinery I've ever seen save the part I don't actually get to eat the bacon:



"WHAT: An alarm clock that wakes you up with the smell and sizzle of cooking bacon.

WHY: No one likes to wake up, especially by an alarm. This clock gently wakes you up with the mouthwatering aroma of bacon, just like waking up on a Sunday morning to the smell of Mom cooking breakfast. Unless you're Jewish.

HOW: A frozen strip of bacon is placed in Wake n' Bacon the night before. Because there is a 10 minute cooking time, the clock is set to go off 10 minutes before the desired waking time. Once the alarm goes off, the clock it sends a signal to a small speaker to generate the alarm sound. We hacked the clock so that the signal is re-routed by a microchip that in responds by sending a signal to a relay that throws the switch to power two halogen lamps that slow-cook the bacon in about 10 minutes."

source: http://www.mathlete.com/portfolio/wakeNbacon.php

I've thought this through, and I don't like the idea of a frozen strip of bacon going to waste because, it's frozen and will defrost overnight leading to potentially bad times by the time it's cooked.

I do like bacon but I don't like food poisoning.

H1 says that I'm not to eat it but then I find that there's a second crime against me by having the smell of greatness in my room. The second issue is that, that'll make me want bacon but I wake really early for work and never have time to make breakfast nor am I willing to spend what little I have on a bacon sandwich every morning.

Maybe this isn't something I want for Christmas after all but I still love its cute, little piggy nose.

Another Message To H1

Having a "bacon free zone" residence is bullshart.

Goo'day!

Ah, Wendy's

My favourite fastfood franchise is Wendy's.

Any place that makes a sandwich called "baconator" must be fantastic.

The HOchieS Found The Greatest Nursery Rhyme Eva'!

Bat, bat, come under my hat,
And I'll give you a slice of bacon;
And when I bake,
I'll give you a cake,
If I am not mistaken.

source: http://www.zelo.com/family/nursery/index.asp

Oh Glorious Day - Season 2 "the lazy season" Starts Now and the 24 Head Count Continues

People! I'm done with Season 1! and only 96 episodes left until January. Let's go!

8 AM to 9 AM:

Everyone's hair is really messed up this season. Tony's hellatious thing is gone from his face but it seems to have migrated to the hair on his head.
We understand that Jack has gone through trauma but dude, shave the face. Shave...the face.
Except it should be noted: Hooray for small miracles - Kim's hair actually looks nice.

Paula needs to die for her annoyingness. Go stand by Jack, you will be dead in no time.

I don't know what Mitch *Connors* is talking about but any show that features bacon in the first 7 minutes is good times to me.

And what's up with these blondes in this show? Ok, so maybe it's that one blonde. Woman, there's a black President in power and your ass is racist as all hell. Clearly, you didn't vote to put Palmer into power.

And once again, Kim is keeping shady company but at least this guy is slightly better looking than Rick.

Quotes on this:

"We're back in business! Jack shaved!" - Me.
"Because no one can take him seriously as LumberJack." - HOchie 1.

Head Count - 1.

9 AM to 10 AM:

That new crazy guy Kim was working for looks like MacGuyver. A very angry MacGuyver.

Head Count - 0.

10 AM to 11 AM:

I like seeing poor dead Tony in charge of things.

What's up with Kate Warner and the man hands? As in the great words of the Giant Kitty - "Ponds".

You take the Golden An (message) and you put it in the tan truck (hide under the green SUV) and give it to Tony A.

It's not until someone gets hit with Plutonium that you realize you like them.

Who I'd REALLY Like to See Dead in the Near Future: Eric.

Head Count - 22 with seven missing.

11 AM to 12 PM:

Tony A...the man got hit with plutonium (not to be confused by the now defunct asshat of a "planet" Pluto or its ice minions, the Plutoniums), and while you may not know this, cut Mason some slack, will you?

I don't know why Michelle is so whiny. If Paula dies, Michelle gets to be the only bitch at CTU who has curly hair. And she needs to lay her hands off my man Tony A. His ass is dead soon anyway. What's the point?

Head Count - 5. Ummm, so did he HAVE to kill the dog?! Honestly! Jack, I hate to put you on the list of people I'd like to see dead in the near future but you can hacksaw off people's heads and break their ankles but you just don't mess with dogs!

Quote of the day: "South Park is Rochester." - Mitch *Connors*.