Another Message To H1

Having a "bacon free zone" residence is bullshart.

Goo'day!

Holding A Seat On the Metro North Is Rough Work

But not a problem for those...



...with a demin jacket and single blade of an aloe plant.

This Is Some Bullshart We Ever Did See

Crazy, stoopid bullsharters.

Edit: Apparently I have to amend after receiving this comment from Bughie J., "Meat without feet is okay but everyone knows the best meat has feet." and the comment previously left by X.

While that's all well and good, and The HOchies appreciate your support of legged animals, I think we're missing the point some here.

The point being "meat without feet" is a gross misuse of the word "meat"!!!!!!

Conversations Kill

Or 2: You know, everytime I go on to frickin' Amazon (to check the status of my shipped item) and they tell me it's "in transit" for days from Jersey City in NJ, I suspect that somehow, Frass is the one holding back my order.

X: Everytime something happens in NJ, I think it's his fault.

Or 2: Yes well, I think we all know that's the case.

Currently singing in my head: "Megalomania" by MUSE. "...When I am gone, it won't be long before I disturb you in the dark. And Paradise comes at a price, that I am not prepared to pay..."

This Time...1 Week Ago

H1 and I were probably just done listening to "Knights of Cydonia", gazing upon Matt and screaming the lyrics to the best song written in New York, "Map of the Problematique". Or perhaps we were crazy, jumping about for "Hysteria".

::sigh::

So now the question remains for October...

Vegoose? or Greece?

A Message To H1

I am confused by what went down this evening.

Today begins the times of lots and lots of future bullsharts.

Goo'day!

It's Embarrassing...

...But I know who to call when I want some pepperoni.

And it's not MC.



I can't believe I remember the song.

What the Hell?

The Troll actually looks pretty...decent.

Sad yet endearing. Kind of like this -



Not the legs though, just the face in both cases. Just the face.

"Declare This An Emergency, Come On and Spread A Sense of Urgency and Pull Us Through. And This Is The End Of The World"

Words escape me.

I cannot even begin to properly wrap my little mind around what happened last night.

I've seen them four times now.

I know every word, and I know almost every variation of each song including all the tiny falsetto additions made by that beautiful voice.

I know almost all the edgy guitar riffs, and the goddamned moments when the finger is in the air.

I know the grandiose poses and the exact moments when they're going to come, even down to the sliding across the stage floor.

I know whatever song will be played next based on the spoken often vague introductions given by my joker Dom.

And still, I stumbled out of Madison Square Garden last night, stealing the pressure and the pain on my legs for standing for hours, muttering in disbelief the words "oh my god".

That's the most I could muster from my dry throat and spinning head.

"Oh. My. God."

And still there's not much more I can add to that, honestly.

MUSE at Madison Square Garden were nothing short of fuckin' amazing!!!!!!

WTF Moments of the Night (in no particular order because they're all pretty damned hellish) - The Lowlamps:

1. To think I actually debated not attending this concert. WTF is wrong with me?

2. The bass during Cold War Kids' performance almost killed us. H1 and I felt severely nauseous, in the words of Bughie J. "aww, nothing like getting your equilibrium thrown off by mega bass...". That is the trauma I made us endure just so I could be front and left.

3. Cold War Kids did not play "Passing The Hat", nor did they play "Electioneering". I would have tossed chicken bones had the guitarist not been so goddamned hilarious. Also, a few days ago CWK gave a shout out to my boys.

Seriously though, I'm really peeved they didn't play "Passing the Hat". That is some serious WTF'ckness.

4. Fourth Time's The Charm? I think not. MUSE, once again, did not play "Muscle Museum". They seriously hate on me sometimes. Alas, I tossed no chicken bones. How could I when I was mesmerized by the money shot? You know I'd never toss bones at my man Matt, anyway.

5. I didn't get to meet my boys (Matt, Dom and Chris) but assholes who hung out at Krock did. I hate those assholes! =,( When will my day come?
And why did that kid who got a free signed poster of MUSE's fold it up into tiny, tiny pieces? WTF was his problem?! Yeah, I understand it's not AS cool unless you get it signed yourself but for bullshart's sake, no need to massacre it!!!!

6. Hearing Klaxons' "Magick" made me super cranky because it just reminded me of how those stupids turned down WS leaving me to miss out the good times that never were. I can't let that go.

7. Matt sounded a little off to me at times. Just a little but it wasn't horrid. He never is. Paul Banks, he is not. Ahhaha, sorry Paul. Also, Matt was probably trying to deal with the bad karma on stage from the night before when that goddamned Beyonce played and bad mojo'd the place.

8. The sour-faced girl who gave H1 a hard time, as well as the drunk that pushed her while she was dancing. No worries, they were asking to get cut and did.

9. The poorly dressed "super" friends. They were horrid and not even really worth talking about. For good measure, I will also toss in that stupid, rich Asian kid who we saw at Arctic Monkeys. Yep, sure enough, that spoilt bitch was there last night as well.

10. Okay, WTF. Matt was nice to the megaphone and didn't toss it. He did toss confetti though in that classy way he does sometimes. But no tossed megaphone leaves a sad me.

11. H1 pointed it out and she's right - Dominic didn't seem too happy last night and that made me sad. He didn't seem as chipper as he usually is. Maybe Matt pissed him off at Krock? I keed. They were having some good banter! =(

I guess he still smiled some though... what a cutie.

12. Matt. WTF. Why the hell would you wear almost the same damned outfit you wore at WS to this show? You disappoint me. I mean, you were still hot but geez. I've seen it before! Curses...

The Goo'd Times of the Evening - The Highlights:

1. A free MUSE shirt? Yeah. Totally. Special thanks to S. for that.

2. All the rejected Sum 41 stickers littering 33rd Street.

3. Being one of the hated kids in the pit. And THEN, being one of the really hated kids in the pit that made it to the front (and left!).

4. Cold War Kids.

While this band was not an ideal opener for MUSE, they were still really good in their own right. They're not going be opening acts for very long at the rate they're going.
I didn't catch all the songs they played (due to the fact they played a bunch of songs I did not know), so their set list will be incomplete but here's what I could remember in a very rough order -

The Cold War Kids at Madison Square Garden Set List (08/06/2007):

Robbers (great, great, great song!)
*new song (?)
We Used To Vacation
*new song (?)
Hang Me Up To Dry (curse you H1, you got it as number 5. Curse you)
Hospital Beds (and curse on me for getting this damned song as number 6. Still, it's good live)
Saint John
*new song (?)
Quiet, Please! (this song was not the greatest thing to end with but it was still a good song. I liked it)

As a side note, I'm happy to say I was the only nerd who knew anything by this band. That really doesn't make ME a nerd though. Those peeps at the Garden didn't know what they were missing.

5. "Knights of Cydonia" was played first. It's good they got it out of the way so I didn't have to hear that bs in my head as I was leaving one of the greatest concerts.

6. Dominic Howard owns. I've never seen him hit the drums that hard (up close) and the version of "Apocalypse Please" played at Madison Square Garden last night was so fuckin' fantastic that it makes me cry. It makes me cry because I recorded the entire thing only to discover after that the bass totally distorted my recording and I cannot find a version close to this one anywhere. I want that motherfuckin' song and I want it now. I want it now. (wow, two MUSE cookies in one blog post - I'm on a roll, this time. I feel my luck will change - ahaha, and one Radiohead. Nice.)

7. Being front and left was even better for me the second time around. I had H1 ( who actually has now proclaimed and I quote, "I love Muse") with me and we were right in front of Matt (even though she was worried that she couldn't handle his hideous face. She likes to keed and rile me up, is what). It was better this time than at Hammerstein because MUSE could put on the show the way they wanted to on a bigger stage. And Matt was beautiful...

8.

...isn't he, though? Ah, "the money shot" as H1 says. Hahaha. Note though that this confirms for me finally, that Matt has an ass not an assback like MC.
It is a known fact that I do not like looking at asses and I really hate it when various animals insist on showing theirs to me but Matt, he can do that anytime.

Man, I feel like I sullied myself and the blog.

Sorry, H1.

9. We got GREAT shots of MUSE being that we were so damned close. (You know, as good as my camera would allow it. ::sigh:: I might have to give him up sometimes but I'll never diss the good times little LO has given me.) I even did the nice thing this time and took a really good picture of Chris.

10. The crowd. I was quite pleased by the crowd reaction. It was so much better than at Wembley Stadium, we felt. They didn't even NEED to be told to light up their mobiles for "Soldier's Poem". Maybe that's what made Dom miffed...we messed up his usual duties of telling us to get them out! Dom, we're just making your job easier because we love you guys.

11. The new jamming sessions the band brought out. They were all cool and funky. I almost screamed at them to play "Man of Mystery" like an ass though.

12. MUSE

They're just on here because they need to be. I cannot stress just how absolutely stellar their performance was. The entire show was a goddamned highlight and one of the best concerts we've ever been to.

Y&M&M@MSG = GT!!!!

The MUSE at Madison Square Garden Set List (08/06/2007):

Knights of Cydonia
Map of the Problematique + Maggie's Farm Riff (RATM)
Hysteria
Supermassive Black Hole
City of Delusion
Butterflies and Hurricanes + new riff (jamming session)
Hoodoo
piano interlude + Apocalypse Please
Feeling Good
Sunburn
riff (but not "Man of Mystery") + Time is Running Out + Ashamed outro
Starlight
Invincible
New Born
Plug In Baby

Encore:

Soldier's Poem
Unintended (stating they had never played this in the US before. Ooo, we're special. Too bad I already got it at WS)
riff + Stockholm Syndrome
Take a Bow

I think I have to add some WTF moments to this...

...13. I just remembered I really wanted H1 to hear "Assassins (Grand Omega Bosses Edit)" and they didn't play it. Damn it! That shit is awesome live.

14. Why is it we seemed to have gotten the same set list as Wembley Stadium on 06/17/2007? I don't want to be associated with that because it was the day that that stupid ass mcr debacle went down! Ha, ah well. I didn't miss anything really then. Nice. Feels like I was at WS twice then, yeah? That's right bitches! I got your set list including "Apocalypse Please", with a better crowd AND a good opening act! In your faces, assholes!

Oh boys, this might be it for a while. I doubt I'll make it to Vegoose. Come back soon with the fantastic new material I know you will create and I'll be there to support at the concerts in the front to the left.

To my beloved MUSE,







Thanks for making my 2006-2007 concert year from August to August fantastic.

And helping destroy the ill memories that was Matisyahu.

Much Love and cooddles in the kitchen,

Or 2

Quotes of the evening:

"Hey, you guys like Sum 41?" - girl from Sum 41 street team
"No, but I AM a fan of Avril Lavigne!" - Or 2 sarcastically, to our concert buddies for the evening.

As an Indian couple walk by,

H1- "Why Indian people like to think they are the bomb?"
Or 2, shaking head in disgust - "I don't know"
Pause
H1 - "Well, sometimes they are... an actual bomb."
Or 2, quietly - "Yeah, yeah"

"Matt's... really skinny. You can smoke them girly arms." - H1

Currently listening to: "Take a Bow", then "Host" and finally "Agitated" by MUSE.

Random

First, what ever happened to our Calbee sweet potato chips?
Beetchie and I think they must cause cancer and had to be removed from production because we couldn't even find them in Japan.

Secondly, in case the lot of you never followed up on this (I, too, put it out there months ago in an e-mail and never investigated. I apologize to Beetchie for letting her go tortured alone for months on end), here are The Notorious MSG - "A Wok-Umentary":



Torture, I say? Nah, more like brilliance.

(or says Beetchie...)

Awww, My Boys!!!!

MUSE have made the setlist for the new Guitar Hero due out this October!

That makes me really happy even if it's that blasted "Knights of Cydonia" song I don't particularly care for.

Still...

Fun times!!!!

For Once In Our Lives, Lamb Korma Is Not Something We Want To Eat Today

Vets set to put down seven-legged lamb

Animal in New Zealand a hermaphrodite and ‘happy’ but badly deformed

MSNBC News Services
Updated: 2:53 p.m. ET Aug 2, 2007

WELLINGTON, New Zealand - A lamb with seven legs was born in New Zealand but so badly deformed that it was to be destroyed, a local newspaper reported.

The lamb was born with an extra set of front legs and three back legs, the Ashburton Guardian newspaper, at Ashburton on the South Island, reported.



Farmer Dave Callaghan found the lamb in his field. Two of its legs hung useless behind the forelegs. The lamb walked using its two forelegs and three healthy hind legs.

"I have never seen anything like that," he said.

Veterinarian Steve Williams said the lamb was also hermaphrodite, and was missing a part of its bowel so was unable to pass feces.

He said it was this latter problem, rather than the fact it had seven legs, that meant it would have to be destroyed.

"It's quite a happy bright wee lamb, he's just slowly going downhill really," Williams said. "To keep it alive is probably inhumane really."

Williams said he believed an error during embryo formation had resulted in the lamb’s being born polydactyl — with many legs — a condition that occurs once in several million sheep.

The Associated Press and Reuters contributed to this report.

Places to add to the list of "The HOchieS Won't Be Going There": New Zealand.

You know, if that lamb had just one more leg, we would have had a new species of spider.

Wait for it...

Wait for it...

::singing::

Spider Lamb, Spider Lamb

Cue the Final Fantasy Prelude and the Multiple Shop Music Themed Flashbacks We're About To Journey Into

"You know...I just used two Amazon gift certificates...I mean, I know they're there for my use but it hurts. Hahahaha (insert nervous, sad laughter), just like spending gil. JUST like spending gil." - Or 2.

"Hmm, and you never know. You might need to toss them at monsters in the last dungeon." - Bughie J.

::sigh::

I hate when I have to spend and/or toss my gil... that's some total bullshart if I ever did see it.

I should just be able to find whatever elixir I need lying around barely obscured by a box in the Ghost Trainyard, an Apocalypse I found in the area just beyond that asshole venus flytrap dealie that tricked me into giving it some poor defenseless frog as a meal, a scimitar I may have stolen off some fish in an Underwater Reactor, or an Oritsuru I found in the Da-Chao mountains on my way to busting up some Don from the Slums...

Yeah.

Those were the good times.

Good, inexpensive, gil saving times.

I never said anything about life saving times.

Just...gil saving.

The HOchies' Naruto Characters

So we took this quiz: http://www.morg-ue.net/quiz/naruquiz.html
and here are our results -

H1 is:



Power. It's easiest to sum you up in that single word. Power. Life has been hard, but you've come out of it strong, and while you may not be a people person, you'll never be short of opponents. You're power is like a magnet, drawing people in... to their deaths! Muah-hah-ha-HAHAHAHA!

Or 2 is:



Some people call you lazy, but that's simply not true. What you are is pessimistic. Regardless of the situation, you never fail to look on the dark side of things. You complain, bitch and whine constantly. But, you are strong and dependable. A true friend... at least, when it counts.

Yeah, this seems about right for us.

Quote of the day: "Everytime I think of Jay Z's big lips on Beyonce, I am repulsed." - Frass

Thanks for the fun times today with lettuce, Frass. Thanks.

TINMM

BSIDTU

I Don't Know Why I Didn't Think This Up Before, When It Was Obviously Staring Me in the Face For Years

But we should add "bullshart" to our lexicon.

The Chinese, Cardboard and Bao

It turns out that the cardboard bao story, which we posted earlier this month, was untrue.

The Chinese claimed that the story was fabricated by the journalist to increase television ratings.

That's a bit of a relief. Or is it?

We think the Chinese Government's doing damage control!

You just don't fuck with the Chinese, as we already know.

Uhhh, but if by chance members of the the Chinese Government read our blog...heh heh, we only keed. That story was a fabrication, just like you said!

Currently watching: our backs...

If Only I Had Thought This Through and Planned Accordingly...

The HOchies should be in Manchester this weekend with all the lot of hooligans and such.

You know this weekend is going to go down in AM history as fan-fookin'-tabulous.

We're missing the band that put out the greatest album of the year thus far, as they put on their biggest gig yet.

We're missing those clowns - The Cookie, Nick and my other favourite, Matthew.

And most importantly, we're missing THIS beautiful boy:



Consider The HOchies now officially depressed.

This Show Slays Me

Of all the things a Legendary Sannin could summon, Tsunade summons a blue and white slug.

I guess though, it's part of a Japanese Legend which I should educate myself on but out of no where with no explanation - a giant blue and white slug.

Ah, I love Naruto.

A Message to Beetchie

Ocassionally having bad hair is much better than having a third nipple.

Ready The Popeye's!

The rest of our summer into fall is turning out to be a little bit busy.

There are potential chicken bone incidents to dole out, so let us begin this consolidated post.

A Warning to Cold War Kids:

Listen, CWK. I am not in love with your album. I can appreciate it's originality though. There are some great tracks on there and the story-telling element is fantastic. However, due to your supposed lack of respect of MUSE and your utmost adoration of The White Stripes, I am a little resentful. I hope you realize you're opening for one of the greatest bands in the world by opening for MUSE @ MSG.

While you may think that being asked by the White Stripes to open for them on their tour is an honour, quite frankly, I think Jack White is overrated. He should stop being hailed as a god because he's far from it.

He's a stupid ass.

My warning to you is that I want you to perform "Electioneering". While you may have bastardized Radiohead some, I can understand that it's hard to cover Radiohead. It may even be virtually impossible, actually. That is of course, unless you're Mindless Self Indulgence then most things you touch become gold. Hmm, maybe I should write MSI. Anyway, I digress. As I was saying, even though you bastardized it some, you did the best you could and it didn't turn out THAT bad. So, I'd kind of like to hear it.

Redeem yourselves some and then maybe you'll get fewer chicken bones to the head but just know they're coming regardless.

Not a Whole Lotta Love,

Or 2.

A Warning To MUSE:

To my beloved Matt, my funny-assed Dom and that other guy...ahaha, I keed and Chris,

Boys, boys, boys. I love you so much. It's really hard for me to issue a warning to you but I feel that I must.

I've seen you 3 times for this album. Everytime I saw you, I was amazed by your brilliance but you know what didn't amaze me? The fact that you insisted on screwing me over by not playing "Muscle Museum". I've had enough of your bullshit.

You bitches best be playing that song or else there'll be a barrage of chicken bones. I'm already collecting them because I fear that if I didn't hear it at Wembley Fuckin' Stadium, then there's no hope for me.

And I hate you for it.

Please boys, this will probably be the last time I see you for this tour until the new album.

Don't make me cry.

Love you lots,

Or 2.

A Warning to Alex Turner II:

Dear loveable Alex Turner,

It was great seeing Arctic Monkeys back in May. That was really fun times and I was very upset when I didn't get to go to Malahide but oo! Perhaps there'll be muddy fun at Central Park's Summerstage on September 5th just like there was at Malahide Castle?! Well, I sure hope for no mud but ahhh, the greatness that will be that pit, which makes me really scared actually.

In any event, H1's super excited to be seeing "the little boy she's having dirty thoughts about". That's just wrong, H1. I loved him first but no worries. Anyway, the point of all of this is that H1's issuing you another warning.

Apparently you will get a chicken bone to nose (and she's confident she won't miss - yes, she continues to keed) if you do not sing "505". Stop...and wait a sec. Think about it, Alex. Think about it.

Sincerely,

Or 2 (kind of on behalf of H1).

P.S. Don't hate me, the messenger.

A Warning to Paul Banks II:

Hello Paul Friend.

I'm falling in love with that voice of yours. It's sort of sexy and dirty.

But please be aware that you will no longer be my friend if Interpol does not perform "All Fired Up".

Loving me some of you these days,

Or 2.

A Warning To J.K Rowling:

Bitch, if we get tickets to see you at Carnegie Hall on October 19th, you are so assed out. There'll be 2 chicken bones for every death in the last installment of Harry Potter and if Ron dies, there'll be 7 buckets of the stuff.

- H1, backed up by Or 2.

Currently listening to: Beetchie on the phone. She interrupted the MUSE I was listening to. Pox on her.

Awwwww ::tear::

From www.NME.com:

Muse turned up onsite yesterday to support the UK's other big festival hit of the summer: "I saw the Arctic Monkeys last night," said Matt. "I spent the rest of the time propping up the bar, but I thought they were really good. They played really well. They've got a big gig in the UK next week (at Lancashire County Cricket Club), so it's great to see them when they're right at their peak."

1. First of all, Matt's a bit of a drunk there but this really isn't something out of the ordinary for an Ukker. So, Matt, meet me at the bar.

2. Awwwww! Our boys together... awww. I always wondered what MUSE thought of Arctic Monkeys. It still remains to see what Arctic Monkeys think of MUSE....

Let Us Have A Moment...

It's all fun and games until someone loses an ear, or a Bubo Scandiacus in a cage.