They're Killing Me Here! And everyone else. S5: 3 PM to 11 PM - The 24 HC

3 PM to 4 PM:

Round 1: a Hobbit Vs. Jack Bauer. Let's weigh this here. I'm putting my money on the Hobbit!

Oh Vampires and their Sentox gas. I've seen THAT story a million times.

Jack, way to leave the black man on the side of the street.

Round 2: President Logan Vs. Moscow. Let's weigh this situation: the assassination of the Russian President on U.S. soil would lead to some reaaaallly pissed off Russians. I'm undecided.

I wonder if Matt watches this show... his ass is all about conspiracy theories. He probably loves this damned thing. Matt: Jack Bauer's Bitch. Or 2: Matt's Bitch. Powerful Logic - Or 2: Jack Bauer's Bitch.

Head Count: 6. Forever Knight is Forever (un)Dead.

4 PM to 5 PM:

Omicron Persei 8? It looked a lot different the last time I saw it. It didn't look so...building-ish or nice looking. Where are the Popplers?

Yeah Jack, how COULD you be so stupid? But being under the floor works out like good times!

Headcount: 6.

5 PM to 6 PM:

Tony A.! I forgot all about your ass already. You are already DTU.

Okay, so before my array of photos gets stuck in here, please notice the wonderful lamp reflection that goes along with all. That lamp needs to be added to the head count. But here we have the story of "Jack Bauer, Miriam & Her Leg and the Lamp":



Headcount: 3 + the plant that Jack kicked. We need to send a medic for not only Miriam but the plant too! Send a medic for the plant! Ahahahahaha, Lynn's drugged-up sister and her drugged-up boyfriend are DTL.L.

6 PM to 7 PM:

Ugh, how many times do I have to add that blasted Kim to the Head Count?

So...am I to believe that a cripple left Kim? A one-armed guy who had nothing going for him, left her? I never realized Chase was so smart before... Chase is my new hero.

Stupid line of the episode and it comes from Kim, of course: Don't judge him (in reference to Barry). It's okay for Barry to judge Jack but Jack can't judge? That's right, you secretly add Barry to the Head Count in the story of "Jack Bauer Gives Barry The Look of Death and The Lamp":



Who Jack would like to see dead in the near future: Barry.

I see what they're doing here. They've been trying to ween us off Tony A. all season so that when he got killed, we wouldn't notice the non-silent clock because they thought we wouldn't care! Well, I have to say it's working so far. I'll see how I feel once he goes.

Head Count: 9 including Carrie - the shortest lived anaylst on this show. Plus, poor...dead...Edgar. But you're right, HOchie 1 that was mostly funny due to Chloe's face.

I present to you, a photo post of this Head Count and the Story of "Chloe, Edgar, Sentox Nerve Gas and The Lamp" -







7 PM to 8 PM:

Jack Bauer is holding his breath. This is hilarious.

You know all those little CTU guards? Yeah, the ones running around in red? They're like the unknown people on the Away Missions who always die in Star Trek. But awww, they gave one of them a name - that's right, send Harry Swinton off to die. Good job, Harry. You will remain a hero in 24 history - first for yelling at the Hobbit with the classic line such as "So everyone is dead in CTU because you were embarrassed?" and then for being sent off to your death to save Jack Bauer's life.

AHAHAHAHAHAHA, this "Hobbit Save C.T.U" Music is killing me! One ring to unite them all! Awwwww.

Head count: 3 (and about 55 dead in total in CTU). But, but...Tony A. whhhhhhhhyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy...Why are you last words pansy-ish? "She's gone, Jack"? WTF. But here's the story of "Jack Bauer and His Dead BFF Yet The Tears Still Won't Come and The Lamp":



8 PM to 9 PM:

This Collette person is one scary beast.

Who I'd like to see dead in the near future: Karen Hayes, from HomeS.

Ahahaha, Jack's hiding in the back of the car again. I remember that from season 1 and just how hilarious that was. It's still hilarious.

Head Count: 0.

9 PM to 10 PM:

HOchie 1: I like this whole Audrey interrogation thing.

Audrey Cry Count: 2 Scenes.

Worst line of the season and it came from none other than Audrey: Because he wasn't you, Jack!
Apparently she's the queen of lame lines: the only thing that got me through this was that I knew you would come, Jack.

Rick Burke's getting lots of screen time this season; he's also getting a lot of talk time. I thought Rick was the silent interrogator?

Head Count: 11.

10 PM to 11 PM:

Head Count: 7. Uh, there's a bit of a disclaimer...apparently I forgot to blog about this episode as it was going on. WTF, I don't know what happened either but I did a rough count of who got killed off as Jack & Wayne took out all those people, then J.B. played sniper.