...

68,000 tickets sold in 35 minutes and I don't have one.

...

A quiz ... and some revelations about The Hochies, MC, X , SF, J, Beetchie and Battler

Here's the thing, we're going to fill this out first then anyone who'd like to respond - copy and paste your answers in a comment. Remember, in the second part your answers should be in response to how you feel about us. Whoever responds, we'll do the same for you. You know you guys want to.

This quiz is not our own and was pilfered from sources we'd rather not disclose.

1.Your Full Name: HOchie 1 & Or 2.
2. Age: 13 & 62
3. Single or Taken: Taken but you know, I am my own Ho; Taken (Matt will find out soon enough) and I am also my own Ho.
4. Favorite Movie: Labyrinth; The Nightmare Before Christmas
5. Favorite Song: If God Will Send His Angels" by U2; This is hard for me so I'll go with two current - "Map of the Problematique" by MUSE & "What Do They Know?" by MSI
6. Favorite Band/Artist: U2; MUSE
7. Dirty or Clean: Half Dirty/Half Clean - depends on how you look at me; Dirty because dirt don't hurt.
8. Tattoos and/or Piercings: None (my dad would have killed me); one piercing in the upper right ear portion and I live
9. Worst Habit: not exercising enough; not eating enough pork

HERE COMES THE FUN ... ... ...

1. Do we know each other outside of the blog community? Yes
2. What's your philosophy on life? "Only the good die young"; "Bacon"
3. Negative or Optimistic? Negative; Realistic or is that I just don't care enough?
4. What was your dream growing up? To be a singer; I'm still growing up and I still have dreams
5. Worst thing ever happen to you? Those stupid assholes. x2.
6. Would you kiss me? Ew. You're my sister! x2.
7. Tell me one weird fact about you: I can sleep with my eyes open; I have really violent dreams, why just last night I dreamt I had been feasting on human flesh for years and only reconsidered my actions when I got a bad piece of finger. It tasted nasty.
8. Would you have my back or kick me when I'm down? I would have your assback AND kick you when you're down. It depends on my mood; Thanks, HOchie 1. Thanks. I'd have your back whenever it worked out for me.
9. Do you Trust me? Yes; Yes
10. Have you ever kept anything from me? Yes; Yes
11. What do you think of me as a Person? I think you da bomb; You're a Kitty.
12. Do you think I'm sane or insane? I think you're sane; I think you're sane.
13. Would you cry for me if I died? I would lay down and die myself but that was before Beat; I would follow you into the dark.
14. Would you be my crime partner or my conscience? I would be your partner in crime then be your conscience AFTER; I would be your crime partner then let you deal with the consequences
15. If you could change anything about me, would you? Yes, I would make you more ambitious so you could make me more money; No. Biatch.
16. How do you fall asleep? On my left side; on my left side thanks to my piercing.
17. Would you come over to yell at me or just call? Both; I never yell.
18. Would you go on a blind date if I set you up? Yeah, totally; Yeah. As long as it's no emo kids. I am not Emo.
19. If I only had one day to live would you be honest or lie? Honest because I'd want you to do lots of things before you die. I would want you to go to England just in time to get there and die. You wouldn't find Matt but at least you'd be there where he is unless he's doing a concert in Seattle; I would be honest so we can go do stuff like burn bridges.
20. A million bucks.. what would you do with it? I would take it in a suitcase to my workplace, curse out all those bitches, leave then go on vacation; I would invest to make more millions THEN I would curse everyone out and go on vaction.
21. What is your worst fear? That Or 2 would die before me; that HOchie 1 would die before me.
22. Favorite thing to do in your spare time? It used to be reading but now I'm illiterate thanks to Baby B.; play vgames
23. How many times did u curse at me while filling out this thing? Twice; four times
24. Can you sing or dance? Yes and yes; I can do something like both.
25. In one word, how would you describe me? Be honest.... Suga'Face; Hilarical

Conversations at the Mall

"My feet hurt. My uterus hurts. Everything hurts." - woman to her boyfriend.

"You are never wearing these shoes to the mall again!" - Mother, as she picked up her daughter's shoe.
"But why? They're so crrraaaaaazzzzzzzyyyyy!!!" - little girl in stroller, showing her mom the pink dazzly shoe.

June 17th, 2007

I cannot believe MUSE sold out their June 16th show at Wembley Stadium and within the 4 hours (probably less because that's a rough estimate on my part) of it being sold out, because of the high demand they added a 2nd night - also on its way to being sold out. My boys are killing me here. I'm just going to go cry now...

Am I Surprised? Not Really.

Let the record show that I've been an advocate for the death of onions, onion family vegetables including the green onion or scallion and California since the day I was born:


First lawsuit filed in E.coli outbreak

Officials believe they may have found the source

Eyewitness News
(New Hyde Park - WABC, December 7, 2006) - The first lawsuit in the wake of this week's E.coli outbreak was filed Thursday.

They say the contamination may have come from an onion grower in California, with scallions sprinkled on top of food at Taco Bell infecting customers.
A family on Long Island filed a lawsuit against Taco Bell for millions of dollars Thursday after an 11-year old boy got sick after eating at a restaurant.

copyright 2006 WABC - TV

Guess What?

Season 5 of 24 Starts NOW. Ahahahahahahahaha.

Let's call this season the "I Hate All Of You Writers On This Show For Killing Almost Everyone I Love Off!!!!"

7 AM to 8 AM:

...

no words can describe the grief I feel right now for the DP.

WTF is up with taking the black man down not even 3 minutes into the show?! =(

HOchie 1: What is this hat Jack is wearing? It's looking ridiculous.

Wait, wait, wait...who's this kid Chloe's with? This isn't THE Andrew!

HOchie 1: Who knew that Chloe had a body on her. She lOOkin' pretty good.

Awwwww, Jack's BFF is dead and he's crying! He must have really felt that one.

We're posing as "Frank" now? Frank what? Black? Har Har.

Crap! Damned Smallville is new today and I can't continue watching 24! I'll continue tomorrow when it's Y&M&B&J.

Ok, I'm back but Michelle, not so much...not so much. Poor dead Michelle and poor soon to be dead Tony A. This show is cruel.



Do I want to do an Audrey Cry Count this season? Hmmm, why not I guess.

Audrey Cry Count: 0 Scenes.

Head Count: 5. Damn, Jack killed that guy's ass like nobody's business. That ass, he deserved it. Out of respect, let us take a moment to remember The DP:



DP, you were the best but who's going to sell us car insurance now?

And Michelle, just the way we'd all like to remember her:



8 AM to 9 AM:

Ah, look how they blame Jack for everything. You know Jack is going to kill some asses for being set up as the murderer of his BFFs.

Oh no! They're going to bring Chloe back to CTU to interrogate her! But it's okay, as long as Jack doesn't do it, you'll live.

Audrey Cry Count: 0 Scenes but she's definitely gotten close to tears.

Head Count: 4 or 5. 3 for sure. I don't know how many people got blown up in that one scene...

9 AM to 10 AM:

And once again, Chloe makes an ass out of someone by being so damned blunt and awesome.

Ewwww! He didn't wash his hands after using the urinal, I wouldn't take the security entry card from him and then put it in my mouth. Wow, Mrs. Logan is really crazier than I thought.

Umm, is that Geraint Wyn Davies looking all old and scary? I thought vampires didn't age!

Audrey Cry Count: O Scenes. Perhaps I should change this to the Mike cry count. Audrey's being a little hardcore this season.

Head Count: 2 and if that ugly Ryder Strong dies, he'll have only himself to blame.

10 AM to 11 AM:

Quote of this episode: Mr. President, you are not responsible for the actions of these murderers.

Or 2: No, but I (Walt) am.

And why look, if it isn't the Hobbit, Samwise. And his name is Lynn. Ooooooo, asshole is trying to out Buchanan. Oooooo.

Hobbits save lives.

Head Count: 12.

11 AM to 12 PM:

HOchie 1: Jack Bauer just collects bitches wherever he goes.

Ok that was the worst death on this show - the way that Jack stabbed those scissors

Did Audrey forget that Jack killed her husband? I guess 18 months is enough to heal the heart.

Audrey Cry Count: 1 Scene.

Head Count: 1 rat, 2

12 PM to 1 PM:

Oooooo, Aaron's on to Walt. Aaron is apparently another of Jack Bauer's bitches.

Audrey Cry Count: 1 Scene

Head Count: 1. I should go ahead and Walt on the headcount too because once Jack finds out Walt was responsible for the DP's death, Walt can consider his ass grass. Ok, that was the most hardcore act of interrogation Jack laid down ever. I really wanted to see Walt's eyes go though...damn.

1 PM to 2 PM:

Who Mike would like to see dead in the near future: Mrs. Logan.

You know, as ugly as that Ryder Strong look a-like, he's a better child for Jack than Kim will ever be. Ugh, do we really have to see her useless ass again?

Headcount: 5. Awwww, Walt offed himself. I was hoping Jack would get his retribution. Yeesh, how many times do we have to play the woman scorned card? It was a twist this time but the result is always the same. I can write this damned show now.

2 PM to 3 PM:

Headcount: 22. Jack Bauer would save Baby A and Baby B, Suga'Face not so much.

Unspecified Medical Condition My ***

I hate ridiculous stories like this.

Just call it what is please. We all do it.

The UMC is called GAS.

Update: This is the kind of intelligent woman that Nashville, Tenn. produces. Does anyone really want to move there? =)


- Dr. Hochie 1

The Memorable Quotes I Failed To Mentioned For The Past Two Weeks

"You'll always be close to my heart. Or 2 Supports Me." - X on 2006-05-12

GChat Away Messages:

MC's: Swine is a Filthy Animal.
Or 2's: MC is a Filthy Animal.
X's: Therefore MC is a Swine.

Ah, the power of logic...

And speaking of logic -
Remember the chuckles? Yes. I remember when MC sent us this brilliant display at genius mathetical problem solving. And I remembered it again two weeks ago after a scenario went down, a like so:

During our visit to the Bodies Exhibit (which by the way was good yet verrrry shady) :

"TD5, can you come help me out for a second?" - MC
"What's up?" - TD5
"I can't find it." - MC
"Find what?" - TD5
"I don't understand it...I can't find it." - MC
"Well, here's the digestive tract and nutrients go where they need to go and waste is excreeted from here." - TD5
"I still don't understand. I can't find it. I'm seeing a lot of holes. Where's the asshole?" - MC
"..." - TD5
Bounce in "I see it. There it is!" - Or 2. Bounce out.
"It's so...small." - MC.

At which point, TD5 walks off.

When relating this fantastic story of MC and the Asshole to X, her comment was: Doesn't MC wipe his own ass?! What does he mean 'small'?!

June 16th, 2007

MUSE held a press conference today and announced a show at Wembley Stadium for 06/16/07. It's going to be huge! So here's the plan (because you all so love hearing my MUSE related banter and plans):

The concert's a Saturday. So we fly to London on Friday night, go for Dim Sum when we get in Saturday morning, visit the Aquarium near Big Ben for 2 hours, fancy up ourselves for the concert, then head to Wembley STADIUM via the Bakerloo Line, see the greatest band in the world at WS (but not really see anything other than what we can make out on the screens because we're talking massive space), and then fly to Japan for 2 weeks!

I will now edit and add to my "Christmas wishlist" to include:

3. Tickets to the Wembley Stadium Show. They go on sale at 9 AM London time this Saturday (12/09/06), so that's 4 AM for NY.

And now I wait for the (and to use an SF term - hopefully I'm using it correctly) lambasting to begin but honestly, before tearing me a new one, my friends...think about it. Think about it...

My Christmas Un-WishList

I happened upon a very disturbing blog last night. I couldn't believe my eyes - that bitch wrote up a wishlist. I have a problem with writing up a wishlist. Maybe it's just me and because I know her but how much of a bitch do you have to be to put up a wishlist on your blog, online for the public to see? Well alright, maybe her friends asked her to do so but when I read what she wanted... my word. Her list was high maintenance and demanding. I'm sorry, but if your ass wants an upgraded electronic item then you should go out and buy it your damned self since your original is working just fine.

Anyway, so in response to the atrocity I read, I've decided to create the Un-WishList of my own.

1. I don't want 'trendy and overly expensive' coats and sweaters.
2. I don't want an entirely new 130 dollar gaming system JUST because it's pink and been slightly upgraded.
3. I don't want ridiculously priced perfume that's only what it is due to brand name.
4. I don't want gift certificates to lame ass, trendy stores for hoochies when I know their clothes aren't going to fit me properly nor should I be trying to rock such obscene gear.

Yes, I am a bitch but you guys already know that. But because you assclowns love me, I'll put a wishlist of my own here:

1. SF, get me Fergie and I will destroy you. The same goes for Gwen. Don't forget what I told you. Remember what I said - you give any of those to me for Christmas and I will give you video footage of my destroying them for YOUR Christmas gift. I love you too, SF. I love you too.

2. Matt.

DRV Ruins Broadway Shows...

Never mind that I have only seen and heard her in one Broadway show but I cannot believe that the cur that is Daphne Rubin-Vega could be good in any show. That woman almost got a bottle in her head from me because I could not believe that after waiting more than a decade to see Les Miserables and to hear "I dreamed a Dream" and "Come To Me" that the moment came down to a raspy, flat belting out and a bastardization of the two greatest Broadway songs eva'.

WHAT DE ASS?!

I so did not pay 118USD to hear such crap.

The only reason that I did not write this off as a total loss is because DRV/Fantine died quickly and that Jean Valjean and Javert were just terrific. DRV sucks. A disgrace to Panama and to all other people on Broadway who can actually sing. Eponine and Little Cosette included. Imagine, even Little Cosette outsang you and moved me to almost crying with her "Castle in the Clouds". I just wanted you to die.

I getting vex again. This post is DONE.

TD5, I don't want to hear about how she was not that bad and don't forget, if I get any DRV stuff, it is getting sent back to you ... in pieces! - H1, angried up.

Quote of the day:

H1: I am woman.
Giant Kitty: Hear me roar. I mean, hear you roar.

Hot Hot Heat

This post is in honour of X.

X at the bus stop:

"Oh my god! A pigeon was trying to get away from a car and flew straight into me!"

X on coconuts:

"I wanted one jelly nut and he brought me 10 water nuts! So I threw a tantrum for 4 hours and kicked his shoes down the hallway, then kicked them back up the hallway!"

X 'on fire' (and hence name of this blog post):

"I always think I'm hotter than I really am."

"I Bitch-Slapped Death With My One Good Hand"

It's true...Ash did it. And all 8 of us saw it and loved it!



Evil Dead The Musical was greatness. It was cheesey, brilliant and bloody. Oh the blood! It was everywhere and on everyone! At least it was on everyone in the first three rows and wouldn't you know it? Or 2, Giant Kitty, TD5, X, Beetchie, Marie, Jess, & Battler were FRONT and CENTER.

The highlights of the evening all involved X. Beetchie and X got grabbed by Cheryl but did Beetchie and X save poor Cheryl when she was being dragged away by evil trees?! No.

And then came the Splatter Zone along with that blood I was mentioning before. I don't think anyone in our group saw that scene of gore because we were all too busy covering our faces and protecting our bodies from the blood.

And again, Cheryl, now zombiefied, grabbed X and riiiiippped her poncho all the way down and apart! Protection from the blood for X was gone! But X, being a Dr. and all, improvised and bunched the poncho in front, bent foward and covered her body. Triumph was X's...front but not so much the back. It was brilliant when the blood rolled off her back and unto her ass. And it was even more brilliant when she had to walk the streets of NYC with it too.

Classic songs and lines and of the evening -

"Death's a bitch...a stupid bitch." - Scott.

"What The Fuck Was That?"

I even got my picture taken with Ash for 10 bucks. That Ash is kind of cute even if he is Canadian...

More Idiot Than Savant

Once upon a time, in the land of Denial, there lived an IS named Mitch *Connors*...uh I mean... an IS named Mooch *Cunnurs* (identity changed so as not to protect the seemingly innocent).

MC lived a quiet life in gloomy ole Rochester, counseling the troubled youth of America. Uh, make that Rochester.

MC was loved by all but was not without enemies. Actually, his only true self-proclaimed enemy was pork. Although not much is known as to where this animosity between MC and the pork emerged, one thing was 'certain'... Pork was the Babylon Meat.

One day at a local pizza parlor while treating said troubled youth to some lunch,
little did he know about the trouble HE was about to face and counseling he would receive from his young students. Nothing would prepare him for what would become one of the greatest life choices he would ever have to make.

MC: Kids! What will we be having today? I could go for a slice of pepperoni myself.

Kids: That sounds good but why don't you get more meat? You should add some bacon and ham as well.

MC: No, no, no. I don't eat pork.

Kids: What?! Hahahahahahahahahahaha!

MC: What is so funny?" he asked, while thinking 'WDA?' (He was trying his best to keep it PG being that these were youths and all).

Kids: But sir, don't you know what pepperoni is?

MC: ...

(MC now has a bewildered look on his face)

Kids: Sir, pepperoni is pork.

MC, having already ordered the pepperoni slice, shrugged.

A few weeks later, via gchat with TD5, he raised the question, "TD5, did you know pepperoni is pork?"

To which TD5 responded, "of course it is; what kind of Trini are you?"

"I didn't know...all these years.", MC said.

"So where did you think it came from, MC?" asked TD5.

"I always thought some kind of pepperoni animal," Mitch replied.

TD5 logged off.

Flashforward to Thanksgiving weekend at the HOchie Residence. The scent of ham was wafting throughout the house. All creatures were stirring except Mooch *Cunnurs*.

Papa HOchie: MC, you don't eat pork?

TD5: Ask him about pepperoni.

MC: TD5, why did you have to go there?

Papa HOchie: You eat ham?

MC: No

Papa HOchie: You eat bacon?

(no response)

Papa Hochie: You eat pepperoni?

MC: yes (in a meek voice)

Papa HOchie: But you like pepperoni?

MC: yes, all these years...

Papa HOchie: But then you like pork. Just admit it.

- This blog post and story was brought to you by The HOchies, TD5 and X

Details of the above story are not transcripted and are a bit sketchy but have been assembled through conversations by all parties involved. Denial is most welcome by MC even though video footage of a full confession is available to provide further corroboration.

In a quest to discover what a Pepperoni Animal may look like, we searched google for answers. Google turned up with nothing as expected. With paper, pencil, markers and imaginaaaation, we have come up with a concept sketch:



We can only assume that a Pepperoni Animal would say "moink moink" being that as pepperoni is a combination of a cow and pig, 'moink' is only as logical as this entire post.

Happy Thanksgiving, Bitches!

It was a good Thanksgiving. There was lots of good food and lots of good times with friends and family.

I hope all had good times as well.

Here are the classic quotes for the day, 11/23/06:

"That's what you get for calling me a cowbell!" - Me to Beetchie, on Guitar Hero.

"Omg, I pulled a Matt." - Beetchie
"We will not be using the term "pulling a Matt" to describe bad hair." - Me.

"This mouth has launched 1000 restaurants." - Beetchie.

"We're from Trinidad, what do we know about trees?!" - MC & myself, during a game of Cranium.

Or 2's The Famous U.K. MUSE - DAY 6

Chapter 5: "Someone Tell Me Why He Breaks My Fall, and Then Breaks My Heart"

Ah the final full day. Char Kar ran off to the British National Museum and The British Library. Battler ran off to find a lost and found since she lost her hat on the train and to the Sherlock Holmes Museum Gift Shop. These things were all very interesting and I would have liked to visit all of those places but I needed to pack the not so copious amounts of candy I bought the night before. Also, I had to stay at the hotel and get ready for my future husband!

Seeing MUSE in London was brilliant! I wasn't very close to my man this time around but I got to see the show the way the band's performances are meant to be seen - in a huge space. What better a place to see my boys than at Wembley Arena?

They put on one hell of a show as expected and I got so much footage, it's disgusting. If I wanted to, I could have taped the entire show. I totally smuggled that camera in. Uhh, I mean...I'm a tourist. I had it on me after doing so much sightseeing that day. Yes... That's EXACTLY what went down. Unfortunately, I was kind of far from the stage so I didn't get to really see Matt's semi-beautiful face but my view was not so horrible that he appeared a tiny speck.

The lightshow was even more impressive this time. I didn't get outright blinded (The Cheat got banned from Wembley and couldn't do the laser lights at the show this time either):

And look! I actually got a picture of Chris this time! Uh, kind of:

The setlist was basically the same as the show in NY save the three new songs I got to hear:

Take A Bow (still an awesome opener)
Hysteria
New Born
Butterflies & Hurricanes
Assassin (Extended) - (my boys rock!!!!!!!!!!!! It was complete hotness and ::cough:: J, I have a request - Nov. 27th when the KofC single comes out, can you please acquire the Assassin Extended version for me? Heh Heh Heh)
Map Of The Problematique (Matt dedicated my song to me ::sniff:: I love you too, Bells)
Plug In Baby
Soldier's Poem
Invincible
Supermassive Black Hole (I don't know what was up with the robots but it was hilarious and great)
Forced In
Time Is Running Out
Starlight (It was Space Invaders all over again!)
Stockholm Syndrome

Encore 1:

Citizen Erased (I almost cried. That song is beautiful)
Bliss

Encore 2:

Hoodoo (And again, I cannot stress how much I love that man and that band)
Knights Of Cydonia (still only great in concert but it was even more awesome this time around)

WTF Moments II:

1. Notice how once again I didn't get Muscle Museum?! WTF guys?! WTF!!!!!!!!!!!! And what's worse... I had to do the stupid thing and torture myself to see what the setlist was for the other nights at Wembley. The show for Nov. 22nd got Sunburn but what really kills me is that the Nov. 23rd show got EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! They got Exo-Politics, City of Delusion, Apocalypse Please and damned Muscle Museum!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Bitches, why?!!!!!

2. Okay, Matt. WTF was up with the 'cape'? I know it was a giant scarf and it was really cool as all hell but still. You were really hot standing on stage with the 'cape' blowing in the wind but then when the prancing started, I was just...so confused and embarrassed. Ugh.
Still, like I said...the cape was pretty was hot:

3. WTF was up with the 'smashing' of the guitar at the end of the set? First of all, there was no need for that. You could have given it to me. Secondly, only hardcore rockers should do that because they know how to. You kind of looked silly and once again my face turned red from embarrassment. God knows I have to get rid of that video footage to hide the evidence. *Disclaimer II: if you ever read this Matt, I swear you're a hardcore rocker. Honestly, that riff you pulled during Assassin was amazing!*

4. Trumpets at the other Wembley Shows?! WTF? Why do you hate me, boys?!

5. WTF - That guy was back... The one that looked like a troll next to Dom's drumkit. This time he was on his keyboard which was kind of hidden in the shadows.

It was a good end to the trip for me. I got to see my favourite band and bought a jacket with MUSE's logo on it. It is a bit too big for me but whatever. I may have to have it tailored. I really wanted that shirt with the hot pink though. Maybe I'll get it next year when they return.

Currently listening to: Whatever crappy XM stations we have on the TV. 80's on 8 with some song by The Eagles.

*And on a side note, (it's 05/01/2007) as I amend this blog, since they're blowing up in a big way state side these days, I'll give them their due now:

The Noisettes opened for MUSE at this show. I can't say I was very impressed by them. They were alright but I really couldn't handle the lead singer's voice too much. They did have one or two songs I liked but ask me if I remember what they were...*

Or 2's The Famous London Frog or Crow. Whatever! - DAY 5

Chapter 4: The Tower, the Crows, the Bridge, the Circus and the Ripper

We made it to the Tower of London on Monday. I really liked the Tower and all in it. Look at it below. It's pretty cool, right?



There were Knights and Armour but my stupid ass didn't buy my St. George's Cross umbrella. They didn't even have a Jester's Hat for me to buy. So exactly why did I like the Tower? Hm. Now that I think about it, the Tower sucked! The long spiral staircases were almost the death of me. And those damned crows were waiting for it, you know, when they weren't showing me their asses (Whether it be D.C. or London, animals like showing me their asses):





And I just have to say it but London Bridge can be seen from the Tower and Fergie should stop bastardizing it.

Now for something random and because I just wanted to post it, here's an example of a toilet in the Tower:



Yes, it was tough work for me using that bathroom and yes, it was even worse for the person walking below.

After the Tower, we made our way to Picadilly Circus which was the equivalent of Times Square & 5th Avenue. I was very unimpressed and got out of there quickly. I went there with a mission and succeeded.

The last thing we did that day was go on the Jack the Ripper Tour at East End. We were late but caught up with the tour. We snuck at the back and thought we were in the clear but for some reason that Tour Guide was quite keen and noticed that we joined the tour later. And so another 6 pounds came out of my pocket. At least, we three weren't the only ones. I took no pictures on that tour due to the fact that the neighbourhood is now so modern that the photos would all be useless.

Or 2's The Famous Edinburgh...Sheep - DAY 3.7

Chapter 3: Haggis, Sheep, Heighlan' Coos and Scratchy Ghosts

Saturday morning saw us up at 5.15 AM to catch a 7 AM train to Scotland.

The train ride was nice. We saw lots of sheep but it was quite difficult trying to snag a picture of them since everytime I put the camera down, there'd they be with their painted asses. The multi-coloured sheep asses were quite funny.



We didn't make it to the Highlands but this photo from the train was as close as we got:



As soon as we got out of the train station at Edinburgh we could hear bagpipes. There was something very disturbing seeing very old buildings on cobblestone streets housing and littered by stores such as the gap.

Char Kar and I went to Edinburgh Castle which we got to by climbing a really steep hill. I guess it wasn't steep enough though because if I could climb it then the Brits truly had no problem invading the damned place. Har Har.

The Castle was pretty cool but Char Kar thought the King's Dining Room was not as impressive as it should have been. I liked the prisoner barracks and was impressed by the view of the city from the cannon view point:



After running around the castle, I had to go try some haggis. Sadly, I didn't get the real deal because I was starving and didn't want to chance buying an entire meal only to waste it if I didn't want it (hey, this trip was expensive as all hell) so I got a Haggis and Drambuie appetiser. It was deep fried and GOOD times. MMMmmmm, nothing like some sheep insides:



I had the lamb for dinner which was really good. It was very unlike most lamb I had as this was incredibly smooth to the point where it was melting off the bone. It was good times also but meat usually is.

After dinner, we walked around the little city but for some reason the whole place ran amuck with damned partying teenagers who were interested only in clubbing and drinking. Ignoring the lot, we walked and visited little shops that had the strangest things. I felt as though I was in Chinatown because we happened upon one of those cheap ones that sold lots of hello kitty stickers and stuff. I was incredibly unimpressed until we passed by the Castle at night.

Char Kar and I parted ways with Battler and went on the Death and Torture Tour at B's suggestion. It was very cheesey and fun walking along the cobbled streets, hearing about some of Edinburgh's dark history. Our Tour Guide, Fiona was pretty cute too. Then we went to three vaults discovered in the old city back around 1996. The vaults are supposedly haunted and being kind of sensitive to paranormal activity, I definitely felt there was something to that place. Here's the picture I took that confused me some:



For the most part, I laughed at how scared everyone else was but I guess the joke was on me. The next morning, I went to the bathroom to discover I had a bit of a scratch/gash on my forehead. Yes. I was scratched by an entity. Alright, so it may be possible that I did it to myself in the night but I can't be certain. In any event, it makes for a good story.

What doesn't make for a good story was the little prison cell we slept in at the Hostel. It wasn't that bad though save the fact there was a co-ed bathroom. Needless to say, Char Kar and I went stinky that night without a shower because there was no way either of us wanted to come out of the shower only to encounter some crazy drunk and drugged up kids.

I didn't actually get to see an Heighland Coos but I bought one the morning after at the gift shop for HOchie 1. She loves him and has named him Apappa.

The ride back was much of the same and involved Battler and I trying to capture photos of the stupid sheep and our miserable failures.

Quotes of the trip:

On Sheep -

"When it rains, do you put them away?" - Char Kar
"Yeah. Put them in a box." - Battler.

"Some of the sheep have colours on them. Are they marked for death?" - Char Kar.

"I could take one home." - Char Kar
"Yeah, box it up. Shear your own." - Battler
"They don't look very soft." - Char Kar
"Yeah. They're wooly. Literally. God didn't front when he made the sheep." - Battler

On Pigs -

"Look! Pigs! It's like {Or 2's} dreams come true!" - Char Kar
"Yeah...awww, piggies. Awwww, bacon." - Me
"Come on. That's just shameful. They're still alive!" - Char Kar.

Or 2's The Famous London Fog - DAY 2

Chapter 2: Scary Birds Everywhere including the Queen. Har Har.

The Tube or Underground Subway system's pretty good and easy to learn in London. The only complaint really is that if one line shuts down, we're not sure if there's anyway to compensate for it - you're pretty much assed out or have to take a cab or maybe the bus. Since Or 2 won't even do buses in NYC, then there was no way in hell one was going to be done in London. Yep, not even the Double Decker kind. I think I was on one of those when I was 3.

We spent the day walking around near Parliament, Big Ben and the London Eye. We also saw Buckingham Palace but no MI5 Building! Sorry Char Kar. I wanted to go the Aquarium but maybe next time.

Now let's talk about the fun stuff - this had to be the coolest thing we saw that day:



That's right, bitches! Jack Bauer in London!!!!! Oh yeah, that's the London Eye in the background. Meh.  Haha.

In St. James' Park we found some scary birds, you know, other than the Queen:



I don't know what they feed them over there but DAMN.

And here's a duck with the evil eye -



I, of course, re-visited my steps across Buckingham Palace and let's just leave it at that.

Obviously, I didn't actually see the Queen but I did spend pounds at the Queen's gift shop and got the tackiest little Christmas Tree Ornament for Beetchie. And that's as close to the Queen as I got.

We then hopped on the tube to go see the Tower of London but it was too late to tour it in the half an hour we had left but I did a kind of cool shot of it at night:



Then the real shadiness began when we got back to our neighbourhood. It wasn't really shady but instead of a young, dashing Brit. Lad joining our table at the pub, we got an old, not so good-looking Scot named Angus who joined instead.

Blow.

Or 2's The Famous London (B)log - DAY 1.5

Chapter 1: 7 PM to 7 AM (No no, this isn't 24)

The flight to London on the 15th messed up this HOchie and company big time. NY time was 7 PM when we departed and arrival at Heathrow was 7 AM on November 16th. What messed with the head was the fact that the head was still in NY time @ 2 AM November 16th. As you can tell, I'm still very much confused and incoherent.

I have to say though that Virgin Atlantic's got some bad-assed plane gear. The in-flight entertainment is so fun. I got to watch this UK comedy series called Peepshow which I liked but like most British comedies, it was painful to watch sometimes. I got to listen in full to albums that I've been meaning to preview for some while and walked away with an appreciation for Arctic Monkeys. The hype surrounding them is still too great but really, it isn't bad at all. I really couldn't get through The Kaiser Chiefs though.

Another point of interest worth mentioning was my very gay flight attendant. He was adorable.

The boring details of that day after getting into London involved renting a phone, taking a rail to the hotel (and by the way, a lot of the London Outskirts looks like Queens. That alone is really scary. Also, taggers in England got nothing on NY Taggers - when you do graffiti, do it right!) and trying to find our hotel.
Things didn't start out THAT fantastic. We got stuck in the elevator at the hotel and I almost broke my foot when I missed a step, with suitcase in hand. My foot went under itself in the worst way possible. I guess it wouldn't be a London trip if I didn't fall at some point (ahaha, London Trip? Get it? Ahhh. I slay myself) but it was scary because it's shocking I didn't actually break it off. This was an ongoing concern of mine during the entire trip actually. I always felt that I was going to break my foot either on some cobblestones or spiral staircases.

The rest of the day was spent walking around like zombies as Battler and I went on an almost fruitless search for flip flops. After getting lost for 3 + hours, I finally remembered that I could have saved us the aches since I knew fully well that flip flops are not in use in England. Heh. Oh well. Not only could I have saved us the achey feet but I could have saved myself some grief:



The only real thing of interest I found in the tuck shop other than my childhood in cadbury chocolate was Fido. That's right, Fido is still rockin' the 7UP can in London:



That night after some fish and chips (not in newspaper much to my dismay) at the corner pub "The Pride of Paddington", Battler, Char Kar and I knocked out for the night.

Wow, what a fairly boring day. It's a sad thing when the flight was the most exciting event.

The Truth About J.B.

Now I know why Jack Bauer never really cries (or at least the reason I've deduced)!
In an interview with David Letterman, Kiefer Sutherland was asked if he hears Donald Sutherland in his head whenever he does a scene. Kiefer replied that the good piece of advice given to him by his father was to never lie in a scene..."for example, if the scene requires crying and you don't feel it, then just don't fake it because they'll just know and try to act the scene in another direction."


So THAT's why Jack Bauer never cries! Kiefer never feels the need to cry. That or Jack Bauer is an ass.

HOchie 1's Observations on Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory

Charlie might be the worst paperboy in the world. Or is he? Hmmmm.

There's a lot of in-breeding going on in the towns - all married couples have the 'same' names. There's George and Georgina, Joe and Josephina and Henry and Henrietta.

On top of the in-breeding, there are a whole hella of a lotta child molestors running around town. There's the candyman and the chopper peddler.

Charlie's mother has a good voice - why didn't she market that talent and make some real money instead of working in the laundrymat?

Charlie can't read! He had to have his grandfather read the details of the ticket for him. I don't know what kind of school this poor kid's going to. Oh, that's right. Poor kid...

And it's unfortunate that Charlie's not cuter because I'd feel happier for him that he won the Golden Ticket. Things should even out. If you're poor, you should at least be cute.

And Gene Wilder is the man.

Things Observed This Week: 10/30 - 11/04

Or 2's observations and random thoughts this week:

1. Filene's Basement is always on a very high level of whatever building houses it.
2. Being under-dressed in cold weather makes people stupid, e.g. Pharrel.
3. My 25 Cents Trail Mix adventures this week have gone something like this -

Day 1: TONS of M&Ms (much to my dismay) and no raisins
Day 2: TONS of M&Ms (much to my dismay), four raisins including the mother of all humiliated grapes and a loss of two valuable cashews. The ONLY two cashes of the batch.
Day 3: A good mix of not too many M&Ms, lots of cashews, almonds and one raisin.

4. Monsters don't give you gil in FFXII?! WTF! They're going to force me to sell items! If there's two things I hate, it's selling items and monsters who are useless and don't give gil. I mean, honestly! Isn't it in the monsters' best interest to walk around loaded, like they actually sit down at towns' bars to drink ale or spend nights at inns?! This FFXII is having a lot more cons than pros at this point...

5. Korean Food is impressive for the most part in both taste and looks.

6. HOchie 1 would rather allow Beat to have a dirty ass than a red ass.

Currently Listening to: a mix of songs, much like Trail Mix, that went something like this -

Track 1. "Supermassive Black Hole" by MUSE, Live on BBC's Radio 1.
Track 2. "New Born" by MUSE, Live from the Absolution Australian Concert Bonus Disc.
Track 3. "Black Waltz" by Nobuo Uematsu, from the Final Fantasy IX Original Soundtrack.
Track 4. "Falling Down" by MUSE, from Showbiz .
Track 5. "Encounter with Tetra" by Kenta Negata, Hajime Wakai, Toru Minigeshi and Koji Kondo, from the Legend of Zelda: Wind Waker Original Soundtrack.
Track 6. "Windmills" by Toad the Wet Sprocket, from Dulcinea.