More Idiot Than Savant

Once upon a time, in the land of Denial, there lived an IS named Mitch *Connors*...uh I mean... an IS named Mooch *Cunnurs* (identity changed so as not to protect the seemingly innocent).

MC lived a quiet life in gloomy ole Rochester, counseling the troubled youth of America. Uh, make that Rochester.

MC was loved by all but was not without enemies. Actually, his only true self-proclaimed enemy was pork. Although not much is known as to where this animosity between MC and the pork emerged, one thing was 'certain'... Pork was the Babylon Meat.

One day at a local pizza parlor while treating said troubled youth to some lunch,
little did he know about the trouble HE was about to face and counseling he would receive from his young students. Nothing would prepare him for what would become one of the greatest life choices he would ever have to make.

MC: Kids! What will we be having today? I could go for a slice of pepperoni myself.

Kids: That sounds good but why don't you get more meat? You should add some bacon and ham as well.

MC: No, no, no. I don't eat pork.

Kids: What?! Hahahahahahahahahahaha!

MC: What is so funny?" he asked, while thinking 'WDA?' (He was trying his best to keep it PG being that these were youths and all).

Kids: But sir, don't you know what pepperoni is?

MC: ...

(MC now has a bewildered look on his face)

Kids: Sir, pepperoni is pork.

MC, having already ordered the pepperoni slice, shrugged.

A few weeks later, via gchat with TD5, he raised the question, "TD5, did you know pepperoni is pork?"

To which TD5 responded, "of course it is; what kind of Trini are you?"

"I didn't know...all these years.", MC said.

"So where did you think it came from, MC?" asked TD5.

"I always thought some kind of pepperoni animal," Mitch replied.

TD5 logged off.

Flashforward to Thanksgiving weekend at the HOchie Residence. The scent of ham was wafting throughout the house. All creatures were stirring except Mooch *Cunnurs*.

Papa HOchie: MC, you don't eat pork?

TD5: Ask him about pepperoni.

MC: TD5, why did you have to go there?

Papa HOchie: You eat ham?

MC: No

Papa HOchie: You eat bacon?

(no response)

Papa Hochie: You eat pepperoni?

MC: yes (in a meek voice)

Papa HOchie: But you like pepperoni?

MC: yes, all these years...

Papa HOchie: But then you like pork. Just admit it.

- This blog post and story was brought to you by The HOchies, TD5 and X

Details of the above story are not transcripted and are a bit sketchy but have been assembled through conversations by all parties involved. Denial is most welcome by MC even though video footage of a full confession is available to provide further corroboration.

In a quest to discover what a Pepperoni Animal may look like, we searched google for answers. Google turned up with nothing as expected. With paper, pencil, markers and imaginaaaation, we have come up with a concept sketch:



We can only assume that a Pepperoni Animal would say "moink moink" being that as pepperoni is a combination of a cow and pig, 'moink' is only as logical as this entire post.

Happy Thanksgiving, Bitches!

It was a good Thanksgiving. There was lots of good food and lots of good times with friends and family.

I hope all had good times as well.

Here are the classic quotes for the day, 11/23/06:

"That's what you get for calling me a cowbell!" - Me to Beetchie, on Guitar Hero.

"Omg, I pulled a Matt." - Beetchie
"We will not be using the term "pulling a Matt" to describe bad hair." - Me.

"This mouth has launched 1000 restaurants." - Beetchie.

"We're from Trinidad, what do we know about trees?!" - MC & myself, during a game of Cranium.

Or 2's The Famous U.K. MUSE - DAY 6

Chapter 5: "Someone Tell Me Why He Breaks My Fall, and Then Breaks My Heart"

Ah the final full day. Char Kar ran off to the British National Museum and The British Library. Battler ran off to find a lost and found since she lost her hat on the train and to the Sherlock Holmes Museum Gift Shop. These things were all very interesting and I would have liked to visit all of those places but I needed to pack the not so copious amounts of candy I bought the night before. Also, I had to stay at the hotel and get ready for my future husband!

Seeing MUSE in London was brilliant! I wasn't very close to my man this time around but I got to see the show the way the band's performances are meant to be seen - in a huge space. What better a place to see my boys than at Wembley Arena?

They put on one hell of a show as expected and I got so much footage, it's disgusting. If I wanted to, I could have taped the entire show. I totally smuggled that camera in. Uhh, I mean...I'm a tourist. I had it on me after doing so much sightseeing that day. Yes... That's EXACTLY what went down. Unfortunately, I was kind of far from the stage so I didn't get to really see Matt's semi-beautiful face but my view was not so horrible that he appeared a tiny speck.

The lightshow was even more impressive this time. I didn't get outright blinded (The Cheat got banned from Wembley and couldn't do the laser lights at the show this time either):

And look! I actually got a picture of Chris this time! Uh, kind of:

The setlist was basically the same as the show in NY save the three new songs I got to hear:

Take A Bow (still an awesome opener)
Hysteria
New Born
Butterflies & Hurricanes
Assassin (Extended) - (my boys rock!!!!!!!!!!!! It was complete hotness and ::cough:: J, I have a request - Nov. 27th when the KofC single comes out, can you please acquire the Assassin Extended version for me? Heh Heh Heh)
Map Of The Problematique (Matt dedicated my song to me ::sniff:: I love you too, Bells)
Plug In Baby
Soldier's Poem
Invincible
Supermassive Black Hole (I don't know what was up with the robots but it was hilarious and great)
Forced In
Time Is Running Out
Starlight (It was Space Invaders all over again!)
Stockholm Syndrome

Encore 1:

Citizen Erased (I almost cried. That song is beautiful)
Bliss

Encore 2:

Hoodoo (And again, I cannot stress how much I love that man and that band)
Knights Of Cydonia (still only great in concert but it was even more awesome this time around)

WTF Moments II:

1. Notice how once again I didn't get Muscle Museum?! WTF guys?! WTF!!!!!!!!!!!! And what's worse... I had to do the stupid thing and torture myself to see what the setlist was for the other nights at Wembley. The show for Nov. 22nd got Sunburn but what really kills me is that the Nov. 23rd show got EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! They got Exo-Politics, City of Delusion, Apocalypse Please and damned Muscle Museum!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Bitches, why?!!!!!

2. Okay, Matt. WTF was up with the 'cape'? I know it was a giant scarf and it was really cool as all hell but still. You were really hot standing on stage with the 'cape' blowing in the wind but then when the prancing started, I was just...so confused and embarrassed. Ugh.
Still, like I said...the cape was pretty was hot:

3. WTF was up with the 'smashing' of the guitar at the end of the set? First of all, there was no need for that. You could have given it to me. Secondly, only hardcore rockers should do that because they know how to. You kind of looked silly and once again my face turned red from embarrassment. God knows I have to get rid of that video footage to hide the evidence. *Disclaimer II: if you ever read this Matt, I swear you're a hardcore rocker. Honestly, that riff you pulled during Assassin was amazing!*

4. Trumpets at the other Wembley Shows?! WTF? Why do you hate me, boys?!

5. WTF - That guy was back... The one that looked like a troll next to Dom's drumkit. This time he was on his keyboard which was kind of hidden in the shadows.

It was a good end to the trip for me. I got to see my favourite band and bought a jacket with MUSE's logo on it. It is a bit too big for me but whatever. I may have to have it tailored. I really wanted that shirt with the hot pink though. Maybe I'll get it next year when they return.

Currently listening to: Whatever crappy XM stations we have on the TV. 80's on 8 with some song by The Eagles.

*And on a side note, (it's 05/01/2007) as I amend this blog, since they're blowing up in a big way state side these days, I'll give them their due now:

The Noisettes opened for MUSE at this show. I can't say I was very impressed by them. They were alright but I really couldn't handle the lead singer's voice too much. They did have one or two songs I liked but ask me if I remember what they were...*

Or 2's The Famous London Frog or Crow. Whatever! - DAY 5

Chapter 4: The Tower, the Crows, the Bridge, the Circus and the Ripper

We made it to the Tower of London on Monday. I really liked the Tower and all in it. Look at it below. It's pretty cool, right?



There were Knights and Armour but my stupid ass didn't buy my St. George's Cross umbrella. They didn't even have a Jester's Hat for me to buy. So exactly why did I like the Tower? Hm. Now that I think about it, the Tower sucked! The long spiral staircases were almost the death of me. And those damned crows were waiting for it, you know, when they weren't showing me their asses (Whether it be D.C. or London, animals like showing me their asses):





And I just have to say it but London Bridge can be seen from the Tower and Fergie should stop bastardizing it.

Now for something random and because I just wanted to post it, here's an example of a toilet in the Tower:



Yes, it was tough work for me using that bathroom and yes, it was even worse for the person walking below.

After the Tower, we made our way to Picadilly Circus which was the equivalent of Times Square & 5th Avenue. I was very unimpressed and got out of there quickly. I went there with a mission and succeeded.

The last thing we did that day was go on the Jack the Ripper Tour at East End. We were late but caught up with the tour. We snuck at the back and thought we were in the clear but for some reason that Tour Guide was quite keen and noticed that we joined the tour later. And so another 6 pounds came out of my pocket. At least, we three weren't the only ones. I took no pictures on that tour due to the fact that the neighbourhood is now so modern that the photos would all be useless.

Or 2's The Famous Edinburgh...Sheep - DAY 3.7

Chapter 3: Haggis, Sheep, Heighlan' Coos and Scratchy Ghosts

Saturday morning saw us up at 5.15 AM to catch a 7 AM train to Scotland.

The train ride was nice. We saw lots of sheep but it was quite difficult trying to snag a picture of them since everytime I put the camera down, there'd they be with their painted asses. The multi-coloured sheep asses were quite funny.



We didn't make it to the Highlands but this photo from the train was as close as we got:



As soon as we got out of the train station at Edinburgh we could hear bagpipes. There was something very disturbing seeing very old buildings on cobblestone streets housing and littered by stores such as the gap.

Char Kar and I went to Edinburgh Castle which we got to by climbing a really steep hill. I guess it wasn't steep enough though because if I could climb it then the Brits truly had no problem invading the damned place. Har Har.

The Castle was pretty cool but Char Kar thought the King's Dining Room was not as impressive as it should have been. I liked the prisoner barracks and was impressed by the view of the city from the cannon view point:



After running around the castle, I had to go try some haggis. Sadly, I didn't get the real deal because I was starving and didn't want to chance buying an entire meal only to waste it if I didn't want it (hey, this trip was expensive as all hell) so I got a Haggis and Drambuie appetiser. It was deep fried and GOOD times. MMMmmmm, nothing like some sheep insides:



I had the lamb for dinner which was really good. It was very unlike most lamb I had as this was incredibly smooth to the point where it was melting off the bone. It was good times also but meat usually is.

After dinner, we walked around the little city but for some reason the whole place ran amuck with damned partying teenagers who were interested only in clubbing and drinking. Ignoring the lot, we walked and visited little shops that had the strangest things. I felt as though I was in Chinatown because we happened upon one of those cheap ones that sold lots of hello kitty stickers and stuff. I was incredibly unimpressed until we passed by the Castle at night.

Char Kar and I parted ways with Battler and went on the Death and Torture Tour at B's suggestion. It was very cheesey and fun walking along the cobbled streets, hearing about some of Edinburgh's dark history. Our Tour Guide, Fiona was pretty cute too. Then we went to three vaults discovered in the old city back around 1996. The vaults are supposedly haunted and being kind of sensitive to paranormal activity, I definitely felt there was something to that place. Here's the picture I took that confused me some:



For the most part, I laughed at how scared everyone else was but I guess the joke was on me. The next morning, I went to the bathroom to discover I had a bit of a scratch/gash on my forehead. Yes. I was scratched by an entity. Alright, so it may be possible that I did it to myself in the night but I can't be certain. In any event, it makes for a good story.

What doesn't make for a good story was the little prison cell we slept in at the Hostel. It wasn't that bad though save the fact there was a co-ed bathroom. Needless to say, Char Kar and I went stinky that night without a shower because there was no way either of us wanted to come out of the shower only to encounter some crazy drunk and drugged up kids.

I didn't actually get to see an Heighland Coos but I bought one the morning after at the gift shop for HOchie 1. She loves him and has named him Apappa.

The ride back was much of the same and involved Battler and I trying to capture photos of the stupid sheep and our miserable failures.

Quotes of the trip:

On Sheep -

"When it rains, do you put them away?" - Char Kar
"Yeah. Put them in a box." - Battler.

"Some of the sheep have colours on them. Are they marked for death?" - Char Kar.

"I could take one home." - Char Kar
"Yeah, box it up. Shear your own." - Battler
"They don't look very soft." - Char Kar
"Yeah. They're wooly. Literally. God didn't front when he made the sheep." - Battler

On Pigs -

"Look! Pigs! It's like {Or 2's} dreams come true!" - Char Kar
"Yeah...awww, piggies. Awwww, bacon." - Me
"Come on. That's just shameful. They're still alive!" - Char Kar.

Or 2's The Famous London Fog - DAY 2

Chapter 2: Scary Birds Everywhere including the Queen. Har Har.

The Tube or Underground Subway system's pretty good and easy to learn in London. The only complaint really is that if one line shuts down, we're not sure if there's anyway to compensate for it - you're pretty much assed out or have to take a cab or maybe the bus. Since Or 2 won't even do buses in NYC, then there was no way in hell one was going to be done in London. Yep, not even the Double Decker kind. I think I was on one of those when I was 3.

We spent the day walking around near Parliament, Big Ben and the London Eye. We also saw Buckingham Palace but no MI5 Building! Sorry Char Kar. I wanted to go the Aquarium but maybe next time.

Now let's talk about the fun stuff - this had to be the coolest thing we saw that day:



That's right, bitches! Jack Bauer in London!!!!! Oh yeah, that's the London Eye in the background. Meh.  Haha.

In St. James' Park we found some scary birds, you know, other than the Queen:



I don't know what they feed them over there but DAMN.

And here's a duck with the evil eye -



I, of course, re-visited my steps across Buckingham Palace and let's just leave it at that.

Obviously, I didn't actually see the Queen but I did spend pounds at the Queen's gift shop and got the tackiest little Christmas Tree Ornament for Beetchie. And that's as close to the Queen as I got.

We then hopped on the tube to go see the Tower of London but it was too late to tour it in the half an hour we had left but I did a kind of cool shot of it at night:



Then the real shadiness began when we got back to our neighbourhood. It wasn't really shady but instead of a young, dashing Brit. Lad joining our table at the pub, we got an old, not so good-looking Scot named Angus who joined instead.

Blow.

Or 2's The Famous London (B)log - DAY 1.5

Chapter 1: 7 PM to 7 AM (No no, this isn't 24)

The flight to London on the 15th messed up this HOchie and company big time. NY time was 7 PM when we departed and arrival at Heathrow was 7 AM on November 16th. What messed with the head was the fact that the head was still in NY time @ 2 AM November 16th. As you can tell, I'm still very much confused and incoherent.

I have to say though that Virgin Atlantic's got some bad-assed plane gear. The in-flight entertainment is so fun. I got to watch this UK comedy series called Peepshow which I liked but like most British comedies, it was painful to watch sometimes. I got to listen in full to albums that I've been meaning to preview for some while and walked away with an appreciation for Arctic Monkeys. The hype surrounding them is still too great but really, it isn't bad at all. I really couldn't get through The Kaiser Chiefs though.

Another point of interest worth mentioning was my very gay flight attendant. He was adorable.

The boring details of that day after getting into London involved renting a phone, taking a rail to the hotel (and by the way, a lot of the London Outskirts looks like Queens. That alone is really scary. Also, taggers in England got nothing on NY Taggers - when you do graffiti, do it right!) and trying to find our hotel.
Things didn't start out THAT fantastic. We got stuck in the elevator at the hotel and I almost broke my foot when I missed a step, with suitcase in hand. My foot went under itself in the worst way possible. I guess it wouldn't be a London trip if I didn't fall at some point (ahaha, London Trip? Get it? Ahhh. I slay myself) but it was scary because it's shocking I didn't actually break it off. This was an ongoing concern of mine during the entire trip actually. I always felt that I was going to break my foot either on some cobblestones or spiral staircases.

The rest of the day was spent walking around like zombies as Battler and I went on an almost fruitless search for flip flops. After getting lost for 3 + hours, I finally remembered that I could have saved us the aches since I knew fully well that flip flops are not in use in England. Heh. Oh well. Not only could I have saved us the achey feet but I could have saved myself some grief:



The only real thing of interest I found in the tuck shop other than my childhood in cadbury chocolate was Fido. That's right, Fido is still rockin' the 7UP can in London:



That night after some fish and chips (not in newspaper much to my dismay) at the corner pub "The Pride of Paddington", Battler, Char Kar and I knocked out for the night.

Wow, what a fairly boring day. It's a sad thing when the flight was the most exciting event.

The Truth About J.B.

Now I know why Jack Bauer never really cries (or at least the reason I've deduced)!
In an interview with David Letterman, Kiefer Sutherland was asked if he hears Donald Sutherland in his head whenever he does a scene. Kiefer replied that the good piece of advice given to him by his father was to never lie in a scene..."for example, if the scene requires crying and you don't feel it, then just don't fake it because they'll just know and try to act the scene in another direction."


So THAT's why Jack Bauer never cries! Kiefer never feels the need to cry. That or Jack Bauer is an ass.

HOchie 1's Observations on Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory

Charlie might be the worst paperboy in the world. Or is he? Hmmmm.

There's a lot of in-breeding going on in the towns - all married couples have the 'same' names. There's George and Georgina, Joe and Josephina and Henry and Henrietta.

On top of the in-breeding, there are a whole hella of a lotta child molestors running around town. There's the candyman and the chopper peddler.

Charlie's mother has a good voice - why didn't she market that talent and make some real money instead of working in the laundrymat?

Charlie can't read! He had to have his grandfather read the details of the ticket for him. I don't know what kind of school this poor kid's going to. Oh, that's right. Poor kid...

And it's unfortunate that Charlie's not cuter because I'd feel happier for him that he won the Golden Ticket. Things should even out. If you're poor, you should at least be cute.

And Gene Wilder is the man.

Things Observed This Week: 10/30 - 11/04

Or 2's observations and random thoughts this week:

1. Filene's Basement is always on a very high level of whatever building houses it.
2. Being under-dressed in cold weather makes people stupid, e.g. Pharrel.
3. My 25 Cents Trail Mix adventures this week have gone something like this -

Day 1: TONS of M&Ms (much to my dismay) and no raisins
Day 2: TONS of M&Ms (much to my dismay), four raisins including the mother of all humiliated grapes and a loss of two valuable cashews. The ONLY two cashes of the batch.
Day 3: A good mix of not too many M&Ms, lots of cashews, almonds and one raisin.

4. Monsters don't give you gil in FFXII?! WTF! They're going to force me to sell items! If there's two things I hate, it's selling items and monsters who are useless and don't give gil. I mean, honestly! Isn't it in the monsters' best interest to walk around loaded, like they actually sit down at towns' bars to drink ale or spend nights at inns?! This FFXII is having a lot more cons than pros at this point...

5. Korean Food is impressive for the most part in both taste and looks.

6. HOchie 1 would rather allow Beat to have a dirty ass than a red ass.

Currently Listening to: a mix of songs, much like Trail Mix, that went something like this -

Track 1. "Supermassive Black Hole" by MUSE, Live on BBC's Radio 1.
Track 2. "New Born" by MUSE, Live from the Absolution Australian Concert Bonus Disc.
Track 3. "Black Waltz" by Nobuo Uematsu, from the Final Fantasy IX Original Soundtrack.
Track 4. "Falling Down" by MUSE, from Showbiz .
Track 5. "Encounter with Tetra" by Kenta Negata, Hajime Wakai, Toru Minigeshi and Koji Kondo, from the Legend of Zelda: Wind Waker Original Soundtrack.
Track 6. "Windmills" by Toad the Wet Sprocket, from Dulcinea.

F Minus Minus All 'Round

Happy Halloween, Biatches.
Yep, it's that time of year again when the HOchies rate kids' costumes.
This won't be a very in-depth post like last year's, mostly due to the fact that this HOchie came home late and got a bunch of lazy costume-clathed children at the door.
They swarmed and were unimpressive.

The only kid that caught my attention this year and got an A was a little Agumon. He had a little tail as well.

Being that I had every intention of skipping Halloween this year, my costume was very last minute. I scared no children this year but I will give myself a D for effort for my rendition of Jack Skellington.

The only funny thing that happened today was the fact that I walked the streets of Manhattan with a jack o' lantern bucket full of bread and 5 pieces of candy in hand, like the ass that I am.

Maybe next year will be more exciting. I really hate it when my Birthday Month ends on a low. Halloween's usually my second favourite holiday.

"Is like a demon sen' from de pit a hell dat is taking the lives of the youth even before dem have time to repent."

Well, the laughing has ended some. An apology is in order for QT although okay, we still haven't seen anything about the dance actually being banned but the death part is seemingly true. This is all very tragic. And if you noted, I said 'the laughing has ended some'. The HOchies are not laughing at anyone's plight but we are still laughing at Jamaicans misuse of the language and sense.

Here's an update and thank you to Mitch *Connors* for providing this follow up news article on the "Dutty Wine" taken from the Jamaican Gleaner News:

Dance of death? - Beacon Hill residents blame 'Dutty Wine' for teen's death
published: Monday | October 30, 2006

Rasbert Turner, Gleaner Writer


A dancer in The Star's Dutty Wine contest performs at The Asylum Night Club, Knutsford Boulevard, New Kingston, in July. - file

SPANISH TOWN, St. Catherine:

The popular "Dutty Wine" dance is being blamed for yesterday's death of an 18-year-old St. Catherine woman.

Tanisha Henry was attending a 'school uniform' party at Beacon Hill, Thompson Pen, about four o' clock Sunday morning when, while doing the popular dance, she collapsed and was rushed to the nearby Spanish Town Hospital where she was pronounced dead.

When The Gleaner checked with the institution, a representative said persons have for some time been warned of the dangers associated with the dance, but that no one seems to have taken heed.

In March, The Star reported warnings from doctors that the 'Dutty Wine' was a dangerous dance that could cause serious neck injury and lifelong pain.

Residents in shock

The dance, done mainly by women, involves the rapid rotation of the neck and posterior simultaneously.

"If you throw the body in extreme positions, as in the case of the 'Dutty Wine', you could have muscle trauma, damage to your ligaments and shifting in bones," Dr. Jephthath Ford, general practitioner, told The Star.

In the Beacon Hill area, where yesterday's incident occurred, several persons said they were shocked by what had happened.

"It is a warning to young people that dem mus stop du de Dutty Wine," said one woman who called the incident a curse on the land. "Is like a demon sen' from de pit a hell dat is taking the lives of the youth even before dem have time to repent."

Yesterday Tanisha's mother, Linda Henry, said she was still in shock.

"I was at home about 4 o'clock when I feel like something is wrong with Tanisha as I did not see her when she came from work last night," she said. "About half an hour after, I got the news that she was dancing Dutty Wine and collapse."

Ms. Henry said that, on going to the hospital, her worst fear was realised when the doctor told her that her daughter was dead as a result of the dance. She added that it was a very sad moment and that Tanisha, who works at a pharmacy, was her last child. She said she did not know how the family would cope with her death.

The Spanish Town police are conducting a routine investigation into the matter.

Well, MC has also provided a video so let's all look at it together -



And after watching that...goddamn. Goddamn. From a Hell Pit indeed.

"Move Along People, There's Nothing To See Here"

Seriously though, where's Officer Barbrady?

I haven't seen him much ever since he was replaced by the Police Department headed by that Ginger.

Currently listening to: "Zombie Creeping Flesh" from the OST and "Don't Stop Me Now" by Queen on Shaun of the Dead on Comedy Central.

"This is the Funniest Shit I've Heard All Year!" - Mitch *Connors*

Our friend QT told us that the Dutty Wine was banned in Jamaica due to deaths caused by whiplash.

After much laughing and almost choking over pie, I called everyone I could get in contact with to inquire if this was true.

After much laughing on the phone with the three I could get a hold of, we finally found an answer. Thank you X for finding this article, taken from The Jamaica Star News:

Dutty Wine Danger

THE 'DUTTY WINE' is a dangerous dance that may cause serious neck injury and lifelong pain, doctors warn.

'Dutty wine' a popular dance done mainly by women involves the rapid rotation of the neck and posterior simultaneously.

"If you throw the body in extreme positions as in the case of the 'dutty wine' you could have muscle trauma, damage to your ligaments and shifting in bones," said Dr. Jephthath Ford.

Orthopaedic surgeon, Dr. Paul Wright agrees. He said the 'dutty wine' dance could cause injury in persons who are described as pre-morbid.

"If the person has an existing condition and they do the dance then they could hurt themselves. They would start getting pains in their arms and shoulders," he said.

But dancehall queens who popularise the 'wine' said they have suffered no injuries.

"It just like a normal dance if you don't do it for a while you are going to feel a pain but when you get used to it everything is all right. It's like when you split and you haven't done it for a while yuh leg muscle dem a go pain yuh until yuh get used to it," said dancehall queen Stacey.

"I haven't felt any pain while doing it and have never heard anybody say they were injured doing it," she added.

Recently, rumours started swirling about injuries to persons doing the 'dutty wine.'

"I hear people saying I was doing it and break my neck. I hear I was on a bus doing it and hurt myself but nothing like that. I have been doing it a while now and I don't feel any pain," said Stacey.

Leticia, another dancehall queen, admits the dance can cause some discomfort but she has never heard of injuries.

"If yuh spin yuh head too hard yuh get dizzy but I don't know of anybody who get hurt doing it. I know people who seh when dem do it dem get a pain in a dem neck but no injuries," she said.

Dr. Wright said anyone who feels discomfort 'dutty wining' should stop.

"If they feel any burning or pains or what the Americans call the stinger effect they should stop." He added: "they should not do it again because that's a warning sign."

In the event of injury, paralysis and other illnesses could result the doctors warn.

So the bottomline if you could read through all that nonsense is that, it hasn't been banned but people, take heed because Jamaican doctors issued a health warning.

...Jamaicans.

Quote of the Day: "Little Men are Cool." - QT.

Currently listening to: Shaun of the Dead on Comedy Central. I love that movie. "Who made you fucking king of the zombies?" Also, HOchie 1 and I have come to the realization that the only Ginger we like is Simon Pegg. We love you, Simon Pegg!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!

Happy Birthday to the Giant Kitty from the HOchies.

We hope your birthday turns out awesome, with all your enemies being fed to you a like so -



Or at least that you like all the presents you get, although there should be no worries about what Vendetta got you. It's fantastic.

There's Only ONE Comet!

Ah, I remember the good times.

It was cheese but it was good cheese! Who could deny the awesomeness of witty dialog and unforgettable characters such as:

Lord Bowler?




Pete (and don't forget, don't touch Pete's piece) -



Comet (the one and ONLY Comet. Here he is eating a newspaper containing important information that could prove deadly if in the wrong hands) -



Socrates Poole,

And of course, the man himself...(Hail to the King, Baby! Yes, wrong series but Bruce Campbell will forever be the King. Oh and here he is with Bowler because I missed my opportunity to take a great one of him solo) in one of my favourite series of all time?



Currently listening to: The Brisco County, Jr. Theme Song stuck in my head.

I have a break from watching 24, so I started up Brisco on Netflix. Brisco isn't doing anything to help me with the withdrawal though because I discovered this during one of the episodes:



::sniff:: Y & M & G.

I Can't Believe I Need Sid TWO Nights In a Row

I guess I can believe it though because the world abounds in bad music.

Tonight's rant:




I had my reservations about the cover songs but held judgment until I heard them myself.

Well, I just heard snippets and needless to say, my moment of silence is now over.

WDA.

Honestly, WDA & WTF. Remember one blog ago when I was bitchin' that Z100 plays music that's "popular" i.e. for some god awful reason, people out there think emo is worth listening to?

In all fairness, I understand that if a song's catchy, then it's catchy. Sometimes whatever situation you're in whether it be a club or whatever else, there's a type of music that matches that mode and it works for you. Great. Goodness knows I listen to my fair share of crap as well but sometimes it's all about what you attach it to, the memories generated from it or how it affects your mood and vice versa.

Seriously, I know my logic is at a mere B-, but the solution I worked out in this equation seems true to me:

"In" bands + Disney = Shit.

I've always hated associating or acknowledging Disney's involvement with The Nightmare Before Christmas. Disney (which by the way is not the happiest place on earth because eBay is) was just the parent company/money machine that could help fund Touchstone Pictures and Tim Burton's amazing project.

But you know when some of these 'bands' were asked to cover Nightmare tracks, it was done by some asshat of an executive at Disney based on the sole fact that the bands are currently the "edgy" big money makers in music's popular culture. And if that's not the case, then they were asked in the hopes that they would actually pull something good based on their building their careers as 'creepy, dark' artists.

Panic! At the Disco, Fall Out Boy, She Wants Revenge and Fiona Apple have all created soulless versions of some of my favourite songs of all time.

It's a sad day when even Marilyn Manson's cover is pathetic.

::sigh::

Currently listening to: "All Alone" by Gorillaz.

Another Rant From a "Music Elitist" & A Message To Sid The Voodoo Doll

When I first heard Hinder's song "Lips of an Angel" or whatever the fudge it's called, I thought to myself, 'oh wonderful, another song that Nickelback has put out that sounds exactly like all their other songs.' I found out soon after that it was indeed a 'different' band.

That was complaint number 1 and strike 1 against Hinder.

Then I saw their video on VH1. "Oh, it's those people who sound like Nickelback and oh my word, what is that...flail of the hand the lead singer is doing? Listen dude, there's only one person who can pull that move and it's Mick Jagger. Mick Jagger you are not. Put that hand down!" Here's an example of the hand (it's the ass in front but really, you people don't need me to point him out):



That was complaint number 2 and strike 2 against Hinder.

Complaint Number 3 went something like this: "Ugh, what's this shit? Hinder on Z100? Oh god, it's all over." Let me explain something about Z100, but first, let me say in my defense that my ears only happened upon Z100 because I was in the car with Papa HOchie who does not have Sirius and listens to the Morning Zoo on his commute.
Anyway, my point about Z100 is that once a 'rock band' has made it to Z100's daily regular rotation of music, I no longer consider the band 'rock' or a 'band' for that matter. As far as I'm concerned, once a song hits Z100, it becomes pop even if the band didn't intend it to be that way. While it may be economically sound for a band to reach that status (because it's the equivalent to being 'big' since teenie boppers and the like will probably go out and spend money on whatever album the track originated), credibility as 'rock' music becomes an issue. Z100 caters to an audience that is generally not rock based. And while it's rare that the occasional U2 is tossed on there, the disclaimer for them is that as the biggest rock band in the world, they're on all stations, even dance onces that mask their songs in a club remix.

Yes yes, today, again I was designated a "music elitist" by my friends. The amount of time I spent writing this makes me so, and an annoying one at that but anyway, Hinder got Strike 3.

From a Rolling Stone magazine interview with the band Hinder:

You seem to really have your biggest following in the middle of the country. Is that something you'd agree with?
Austin Winkler: I would definitely agree as far as NY and LA with some of that artsy bullshit like OK GO, bands like that. I think they're a bunch of fairies. I mean, they got on MTV , the VMA awards and they got on there and danced like a broadway show. That's not fucking rock 'n roll, that's not rock 'n roll at all.

We get what you mean about OK Go and some of the bands that really are popular on the coasts, but what do you think it is about you guys that appeals to people?
AW: We have good songs, I would say. Their songs suck, I mean what the fuck? They sold 4,000 albums a week and then that treadmill fairy shit comes on the fucking TV and they only sold 4,000 more records a week because the song sucks.

Do you guys know them? You seem to have a real specific fixation with them, have you met them or anything?
Cody Hanson: No, it's just seeing their fucking stupid-ass faces on the T.V. all the time, it pisses me the fuck off.

But I paid no mind until I discovered the above article and the fact that this crap 'band' had beef with OK Go.

Let's talk about OK Go:



Many will say that their video for "Here It Goes Again" makes them a novelty act and a gimmick. Well, I'll be damned but their gimmick worked because after their MTV Video Music Awards performance this year, I actually went out and did a little research on them. I listened to enough tracks to decide "hell, I'm going to take a chance on these guys and buy their album." I did, and much to my pleasure, I really loved it. They're fun and their music is representative of that as well. The VMA performance...I believe that's called "marketing".

The way I see it, the video is just that. A video. They've been accused of having a dance video. And yes, I saw that too. "A Million Ways" is a dance video and hilarious at that but that's what they do. They make hilarious videos. A video can make or break you in my eyes. They're creative in their own right.
How different are they from say, Tool, who uses animation (and brilliant animation at that) in their videos? That's what Tool does but no one questions their credibility as a rock band and no one goes to their concerts expecting an entire sequence made out of claymation.
And Radiohead's got some of the most bizarre videos out there but they're known for that and their stellar performances in concert that don't involve anything more than a great band performing music (not that I would know because frickin' Radiohead sells out in seconds before I ever get a chance to buy tickets but mark my words, the HOchies WILL be at one of their concerts in the future).

Record sales not that great? Hey, sometimes internet success doesn't cross over well. It happens. And maybe millions think the song sucks but whatever, my entire point is actually to say, any band that sounds so much like another (and not one that's truly great in my opinion) really isn't justified to talk shit about anyone else.

(A side note on Hinder - I checked out their website and they keep a blog. It's the most incoherent garbage I've read in a while, other than my last 3 paragraphs, but all it involved was how many shots some guy did. THAT is rock n' roll. Yep. Drugs and alcohol. But for crap sake, if you're going to do drugs and heavy drinking, do it right! At least make good music. Yeesh.)

I could be wrong though...I mean, thousands of people made Paris Hilton's album debut at number 2 or was it 1? I don't recall but I mean, it must make Paris Hilton a really talented musician. Millions of people can't be wrong, right?

But then again, millions thought the earth was flat too.

Please Sid, continue doing your job...:



Currently listening to: "Oh Lately It's So Quiet" by OK Go.

November & December 2006: There Was Potential For The Rest of the Year To Be The Greatest In Recent Memory

There's a lot the HOchies have planned between now and the end of the year. These are all things I'm certain will make the blog, so I won't say what they are right now until the good times have been had.
Indeed, the great times that await us are cause for much excitement for all involved...But then Mitch *Connors* had to come along and ruin it by dragging the Giant Kitty and I to Matisyahu on December 16th.

Curse you, Mitch!

The Nightmare Before Christmas Again But This Time in 3D!

1993 saw the release of one of my favourite movies, yes, the very same this blog title is named after.



I've been somewhat of a freak for it. It's so...collectible! I own a Jack 'Sandy Claws' figure, a bobblehead Lock, t-shirts, the original soundtrack (the last copy which I hid in the store behind some crap c.d. for weeks before I had money to go back to buy it), the special edition dvd, a bag, a Zero choker (okay, so this actually belongs to HOchie 1 - it's one of my favourite finds off Ebay) and a 24-inch Jack Skellington talking figure. That figure was given to me on my birthday this year (by the great Beetchie) because the obsession is still so great. I also watch at least part of this movie every year. And if that doesn't convince you, let's just say if I had 1850 dollars to burn, I'd be rockin' that Jack Skellington ring set Link

I have to point out though that no matter how great my obsession, there are thousands of people out there who are ten times more obsessed than I and/or share my feelings about this movie including the Japanese.

So of course, October 20th has been grated into my brain ever since I found out the release of the 3D version of this movie. As it was grated into the brains of the fans that packed the theatres at Union Square and some who came in costume to receive their limited edition t-shirt. Unfortunately, circumstances not under our control saw Beetchie and I without one of those t-shirts but no worries, Beetchie's got plans to steal Jess', who by the way went to the show dressed as an awfully, fantastic Sally.

As expected, the already amazing movie was made into an incredible experience.
Anyone who has been a fan should definitely go see it if afforded the opportunity (I'm really sorry, Gen) and those who for whatever reason never saw it (Giant Kitty, you crazy!) this is your chance to see it on the big screen and join the league of crazed fans. Hey, even the 3D glasses were impressive but we all agree could have been more so had they been decorated with a pumpkin at least.

After the movie we went to Max Brenner for X had never been and I only mention it because it was hilarious that the chant of 'hot chocolate' from her seemed already sugar induced even though at that time, we didn't actually inhale copious amounts of chocolate yet.

A night out involving Beetchie and myself never goes by without incident as already known and well, let's just say you should always have a metrocard handy unless you've no problem waiting for your friends' unlimited pass to clear the 'just used' stage and don't mind looking at them like this for more than 15 minutes:




Currently listening to: "Jack's Obsession" by Danny Elfman, from the The Nightmare Before Christmas soundtrack & "Spooks of Halloween Town" by Yoko Shimomura, from the Kingdom Hearts Original Soundtrack.

I never realised that my Pumpkin King was so much of a Drama Queen.

S 4 of The 24 H C Ends (The Season That Leaves Us With One Question: What Happened to Baruse?) : 11 PM to 7 AM

11 PM to 12 AM:

Wait, the President got shot down and Audrey didn't cry?

Wait, "we're here to make babies"? In the frickin' desert?! First of all, Ew! And secondly, EW! You know, only hippies do that. Hippies and I guess, people who actually live in deserts.

I'm liking this Jason Gerard. He's very resourceful and clever much like that person the Merry Mesmer knows. It's very unfortunate, however, that more than likely JG will be added to the H C. =(

Hey, Mike is back. Traitor!

Head Count: 3 + confirmation that the President's son is dead, at least 2 members of Airforce 1 and whoever else was on that plane minus the President but he's in pretty bad shape. But at least Jason lived!

Audrey Cry Count: 0 Scenes. That cold bitch.

12 AM to 1 AM:

We're sending Curtis to the gas station. This, Curtis, is the hour you get added to the H C.

This new President is quite sketch.

Do you think Richards has his own fan club? If not, let's start one up: to the lamest interrogator ever. I mean, everytime they mention his name it's supposed to strike fear into you because he's the silent, 'deadly' type but really we've seen him do nothing to date other than botch one of his interrogations!

That damned Jack loves to break him some fingers. Pay attention, Richards because THAT's how an interrogation's done.

Head Count: 1 + the convoy carrying the warhead. Update on how many people should be added to the count due to Airforce 1's hit: more than 75. Damn Curtis escaped again!

Audrey Cry Count: 1 Scene.

1 AM to 2 AM:

So...How long until we get rid of this President Logan, the Asshole? Someone needs to fill him in that Jack Bauer is indeed the only man who can do the job.

OMG, never before have I felt so excited to have insurance sold to me! All Hail President Palmer!

I told you bitches I love that Chloe!!!!!!



Head Count: 5.

Audrey Cry Count: 0 Scenes.

2 AM to 3 AM:

Classic line of the episode - "When I shot that guy, I thought I'd go into fetal position or something but I didn't. I felt nothing. I just hope I'm not some kind of psychopath or something." - Chloe.

Jack's break into the Chinese Consulate reminds me of the time I broke into Hyrule Castle.
Sadly, Jack knows how to get in but not necessarily out without consequence. Now look what happened, the damned Chinese consul is dead and relations are strained.

Head Count: 2. This is why I love Jack. He makes every effort to make his 'concern' look legit, meanwhile he gets what he wants, always! Die Paul! Die!!!!

Audrey Cry Count: 2 Scenes. I don't know why you're blaming this on Jack. It's not his fault CTU's only got one surgeon.

3 AM to 4 AM:

Classic line of this episode: "Chloe, we don't have time for any of your personality disorders." - Buchanan.

WTF moment of this episode: "You know Jack, if you ever need someone to talk to...You know, as a friend, you can talk to me." - Chloe. Okay, now watch Jack's face -



Head Count: 3.

Audrey Cry Count: 2 Scenes.

4 AM to 5 AM:

People like to smirk in this show (but for how long? I think ultimately, the last smirk belongs to the Head Count) -


Tony A. - one smirk closer to oblivion.


Chloe - one smirk closer to Edgar's oblivion.

Head Count: 2.

Audrey Cry Count: 1 Scene.

5 AM to 6 AM:

Ok Michelle, we've seen this situation last season. Do the right thing and don't get busted for treason like Tony did. Call Jack and let him handle things!

And Wow, that terrorist is a bad actress. But I think it's the same biatch who blew up the plane in Season 1.

Just don't mess with the Chinese. Way to sell out Jack, asshat.

Head Count: 5. Meh, don't worry Michelle. Tony gets to watch you die, not the other way around.

Audrey Cry Count: 0 Scenes.

6 Am to 7 AM:

Who I'd Like To see Dead in the Near Future:
1. That damned advisor, Cummings, on Logan's staff. Mike! Take his ass out!
2. President Logan.

Head Count: 3 and Jack, who died for a few minutes...again.

Audrey Cry Count: 2 Scenes.

So getting back to the title of this blog, where is Baruse? Perhaps he's off being re-programmed someplace and the formidable terrorist of a future season could be none other than the stupid himself, orphaned at 17 (partially so due to his own actions) and without crazy Debbie for a girlfriend. That's the kind of stuff that will make you go afer Jack Bauer's ass.

Episodes to watch until the Season 6 premiere in January: 24

"And I am...One Years Old"

Just like Marshie, our blog is one year old today.

It's already Sunday, and I have to go to work in 20 fucking hours. Or whatever time I actually post this (chances are I was probably already at work for days before I even finished writing this thing up).

The HOchies started this blog to discuss all the good times that awaited us in October 2005.

Originally we started this blog that was written for each other and by each other. It was a well-kept DL project that we undertook for a while and while we still write for each other...

We had great times and you all can go back and read/re-read them if you like but the one thing I can say is this, you guys definitely are partially responsible for some of our good times! Thanks for helping to create them, partaking and being the awesome friends (more like family) of HOchies that you are.

It's fun having all the comments and feedback from you guys. And it's fun for us, to share the memories with you.

That and all the 24 blogging that we've done since August. Yeah, that's right, you know you love it.

Enough mush though!

The month of good times in 2006 is probably going to be the upcoming month of November.

Let the blogging continue.

TV: Sometimes Makes You Puke

Or should I say, KFed: Always Makes You Puke.

Ah, I'm being overly dramatic much like KFed in his 'star' filled appearance on last night's episode of CSI.
It's bad enough that he was on my beloved television (you know, tv the master of bountiful knowledge and/or endless time-wasting goodness) but when KFed's role involved kicking the crap out of my 4th husband Greg Sanders, then that just equates to a bucket full of yuck next to the bed.

The classic line for the evening on CSI came from non-other than KFed and he said it so proudly too, "You're. A Joke". Yes. It was delivered exactly like that.
Little did Fedass know that the writers at CSI wrote that line in reverse sarcasm. I know, I'm creating stupid phrases again but deal. The point is, jokes on you KFed. The joke was on you.

I thoroughly enjoyed that they made KFed put on that horrendous face altering mask. I mean, it's not as though he needed a hideous mask but I suppose it was to drive a point home.

And when Nick stole Fed's Treo after punching him in the stomach, I have to say that was the best acting I've seen ever. There was real conviction in that scene. I imagine that's how Beetchie would look if I stole hers. I should try it sometime with the punch included because I'm all about adding insult to injury.

While I'm on the subject of TV, not only does it have the power to upset my innards but it also breaks my heart. WTF was up with tonight's episode of "Avatar"? It's been over a month now that they've dragged this damned Appa being stolen story. We finally got to see what happened to Appa during his absence and let me tell you, it was quite disturbing. I don't understand why they'd make it so sad to give me a complex. Forget the children having to go into therapy now because of that episode but damn, that whole thing was cold.

Currently Purchasing (using and making fantastic use of Giant Kitty's present to HOchie 1, ahahahahaha):

"Cubicle" by Rinerocerose
"Burning" by The Whitest Boy Alive

Phrase We Will Not Be Using To Express A Beatdown: "A Greg Special".

Added on 10/18/06:

Battler, Appa is indeed that huge, hairy, floaty Air Bison thingie -



See the fool bending down? He's my favourite character. I love that damned Sokka!

Fridays in the HOchie Household have been designated "Family Fun Night" and we all sit around the living room at 8 PM watching Avatar. You know it's bad when Pappa HOchie stresses about whether or not he'll be home in time.