This post has nothing to do with Season 6 actually but it was kind of fun. Thanks to Char Kar (one of Jack Bauer's bitches) for sharing this article taken from Esquire Magazine:
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Jack Bauer
Counterterrorism Expert, Los Angeles
By Nicole Ranadive and Matt Michnovetz
January 2007, Volume 147, Issue 1
Fuck diplomacy.
Actions speak louder than words. Though shouting can also be effective.
If you shoot a man's wife in the knee and he still doesn't give you the information, he's bad.
Revenge is the cruelest trick. I've seen it taken out on others, I've been victim to it, I've even done it myself. But it doesn't change anything, and it doesn't bring comfort.
Trust is the key to survival. And by trust, I mean getting out of the way and letting me do what I need to do.
The only thing harder than racing to stop a madman from releasing a deadly virus that will kill thousands of people is doing it while simultaneously trying to kick heroin.
I've been beaten, kidnapped, gassed, and shot at, but the most terrifying thing I've ever been through was facing my daughter after I made her believe I was dead.
I eat a lot of bananas. They're a good source of vitamin B and potassium. They're also easy to take on the move.
Love is a privilege.
If you have to trust someone, make it a quirky computer genius.
If I say "dammit," either something bad just happened, something bad is about to happen, or I'm going to do something drastic.
Any man can make a mistake. It's what he does to remedy that mistake that shows his character.
You better know who you are before you go undercover. If you don't, you could easily lose yourself.
Always carry at least one spare fully charged cell-phone battery.
So many times when I thought there was no more time, there was.
When interrogating a suspect, I've often found it effective to ask the question loudly and repeat it several times.
Remember, terrorists use the phone as much as we do.
In the event of a highway landing, always fasten your seat belt and return your chair and tray table to their upright and locked positions.
It's all key cards and thumb drives these days.
If the president of the United States ever orders you to shoot your boss in the head at point-blank range in cold blood, take a deep breath, ask God to forgive you, and just do it.
Without conscience, a man becomes his worst enemy.
Sometimes it's necessary to create a believable diversion, even at the risk of others thinking you're an asshole.
A cell phone can sometimes be used to activate a secondary detonator on a terrorist's explosive vest regardless of how many minutes are left on your plan.
Dead terrorists can often be effectively used as human shields. So can live ones.
Bureaucrats want results but never want to get their hands dirty.
The safety of the people I love is worth any sacrifice. Even their trust.
Some people don't deserve to die, but that's not my call.
Serbs have a different word for everything.
If you don't have a Taser gun, the wires from a lamp will deliver the current needed to shock your subject just enough to get him to give up the information you need without doing any permanent damage.
Sometimes you have to do the wrong thing for the right reasons.
You can't save everyone.
If you see me running down the street, it's probably a good idea to take cover.
Don't piss off the Chinese.
Nicole Ranadive is the staff writer of 24. Matt Michnovetz is the show's story editor.
Copyright © 2006 by the Hearst Corporation
Those are some awesome truths right there.
Thursday, December 21, 2006
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
It's the End of Evelyn! Uh, I mean S5 of the 24 HC: 11PM to 7 AM
11 PM to 12 AM:
What's up with this crazy music in this episode? And for most of the season now that I think about it. Who composes this and why are they on drugs?
Head Count: 9.
12 AM to 1 AM:
Audrey Cry Count: 1 Scene. But this time...we'll excuse her. I'd probably cry to if I had 3 minutes to live.
Head Count: 6.
1 AM to 2 AM:
HOchie 1 on SofD Heller: That's the worst act of begging for forgiveness I've ever seen.
Audrey Cry Count: 2 Scenes.
Head Count: 4. WTF! Heller just killed himself?! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
2 AM to 3 AM:
This episode was hilarious. First there was this:
That hole has a gun!
Then there was the tasering of the asshole. Oh Chloe, how I love thee and the faces, Chloe. The faces!
Who I'd like to see dead in the near future: The little ass-kisser, Miles. Why didn't Chloe taser his ass too? I hope she gets a chance.
And who was that idiot trying to be a hero on the plane? That's right, Jack. Shut him up and put him in his place.
Head Count: 0.
3 AM to 4 AM:
So that Graham person, he better watch who he's talking to or else there might be a very unfortunate helicopter incident, the kind of incident in which he loses an arm... again.
The biggest bitch of all of Jack Bauer: C.T.U.
How long until that ass-kisser Miles gets added to the Head Count?
Head Count: 0. We have to amend the Head Count because Heller's alive apparently.
4 AM to 5 AM:
What kind of pansy slap was that Karen Hayes gave Miles? You know if Chloe had the chance to deal with Miles, he'd be number one on this Head Count.
Aaron nooooooooooooooooooooooo.
Low blow, Buchanan, low blow! How dare you pull the "What would David Palmer want you to do if he were here" card?
Head Count: All of the men transporting Bierko are out so...that's about..hmmm, 6? 12.
5 AM to 6 AM:
You know I don't like when they show Aaron in the beginning recap.
There goes Jack again, trying his best to make a murderer out of an innocent little Petty Engineer Rooney.
Or 2: Who's this Morris?!
HOchie 1: Morris? Morris is a cat! Chloe's ex-husband is a cat.
Head Count: 8. Jack's too hardcore but that's what Henderson gets for killing the tri-force of BFFs. R.I.P. David Palmer, Tony Almeida and Michelle Dessler.
Let me re-phrase, is this the face of man who is truly hardcore?
Aaaaannnyyyyyway...
6 AM to 7 AM:
That face President Logan had when he saw Jack in the helicopter was classic and I didn't take a picture.
Dude, the Chinese are truly hardcore. They came in there like ninjas and took Jack Bauer out! Let the water torture begin!
Classic line of the episode: China has a long memory, Mr. Bauer.
Exactly what does THAT mean? As half-Chinese, I guess I just don't understand...
What's up with Karen and Buchanan? That was lame. They certainly are no Tony A. and Michelle. Awwwww. Poor dead Tony A. and Michelle. Damn this show!
And that reminds me - next season, I have to do the Jack Bauer "Damn It" count. It happens at least twice in every season.
Head Count: 0.
People, we started in August and watched through October (somewhere along the way, I lost HOchie 1), took a break in November and finished this day (21st) in December (HOchie 1 finished 3.5 weeks ago). That's right. 120 episodes done - 0 to go! We are READY for Season 6.
What's up with this crazy music in this episode? And for most of the season now that I think about it. Who composes this and why are they on drugs?
Head Count: 9.
12 AM to 1 AM:
Audrey Cry Count: 1 Scene. But this time...we'll excuse her. I'd probably cry to if I had 3 minutes to live.
Head Count: 6.
1 AM to 2 AM:
HOchie 1 on SofD Heller: That's the worst act of begging for forgiveness I've ever seen.
Audrey Cry Count: 2 Scenes.
Head Count: 4. WTF! Heller just killed himself?! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
2 AM to 3 AM:
This episode was hilarious. First there was this:
That hole has a gun!
Then there was the tasering of the asshole. Oh Chloe, how I love thee and the faces, Chloe. The faces!
Who I'd like to see dead in the near future: The little ass-kisser, Miles. Why didn't Chloe taser his ass too? I hope she gets a chance.
And who was that idiot trying to be a hero on the plane? That's right, Jack. Shut him up and put him in his place.
Head Count: 0.
3 AM to 4 AM:
So that Graham person, he better watch who he's talking to or else there might be a very unfortunate helicopter incident, the kind of incident in which he loses an arm... again.
The biggest bitch of all of Jack Bauer: C.T.U.
How long until that ass-kisser Miles gets added to the Head Count?
Head Count: 0. We have to amend the Head Count because Heller's alive apparently.
4 AM to 5 AM:
What kind of pansy slap was that Karen Hayes gave Miles? You know if Chloe had the chance to deal with Miles, he'd be number one on this Head Count.
Aaron nooooooooooooooooooooooo.
Low blow, Buchanan, low blow! How dare you pull the "What would David Palmer want you to do if he were here" card?
Head Count: All of the men transporting Bierko are out so...that's about..hmmm, 6? 12.
5 AM to 6 AM:
You know I don't like when they show Aaron in the beginning recap.
There goes Jack again, trying his best to make a murderer out of an innocent little Petty Engineer Rooney.
Or 2: Who's this Morris?!
HOchie 1: Morris? Morris is a cat! Chloe's ex-husband is a cat.
Head Count: 8. Jack's too hardcore but that's what Henderson gets for killing the tri-force of BFFs. R.I.P. David Palmer, Tony Almeida and Michelle Dessler.
Let me re-phrase, is this the face of man who is truly hardcore?
Aaaaannnyyyyyway...
6 AM to 7 AM:
That face President Logan had when he saw Jack in the helicopter was classic and I didn't take a picture.
Dude, the Chinese are truly hardcore. They came in there like ninjas and took Jack Bauer out! Let the water torture begin!
Classic line of the episode: China has a long memory, Mr. Bauer.
Exactly what does THAT mean? As half-Chinese, I guess I just don't understand...
What's up with Karen and Buchanan? That was lame. They certainly are no Tony A. and Michelle. Awwwww. Poor dead Tony A. and Michelle. Damn this show!
And that reminds me - next season, I have to do the Jack Bauer "Damn It" count. It happens at least twice in every season.
Head Count: 0.
People, we started in August and watched through October (somewhere along the way, I lost HOchie 1), took a break in November and finished this day (21st) in December (HOchie 1 finished 3.5 weeks ago). That's right. 120 episodes done - 0 to go! We are READY for Season 6.
Thursday, December 14, 2006
They're Killing Me Here! And everyone else. S5: 3 PM to 11 PM - The 24 HC
3 PM to 4 PM:
Round 1: a Hobbit Vs. Jack Bauer. Let's weigh this here. I'm putting my money on the Hobbit!
Oh Vampires and their Sentox gas. I've seen THAT story a million times.
Jack, way to leave the black man on the side of the street.
Round 2: President Logan Vs. Moscow. Let's weigh this situation: the assassination of the Russian President on U.S. soil would lead to some reaaaallly pissed off Russians. I'm undecided.
I wonder if Matt watches this show... his ass is all about conspiracy theories. He probably loves this damned thing. Matt: Jack Bauer's Bitch. Or 2: Matt's Bitch. Powerful Logic - Or 2: Jack Bauer's Bitch.
Head Count: 6. Forever Knight is Forever (un)Dead.
4 PM to 5 PM:
Omicron Persei 8? It looked a lot different the last time I saw it. It didn't look so...building-ish or nice looking. Where are the Popplers?
Yeah Jack, how COULD you be so stupid? But being under the floor works out like good times!
Headcount: 6.
5 PM to 6 PM:
Tony A.! I forgot all about your ass already. You are already DTU.
Okay, so before my array of photos gets stuck in here, please notice the wonderful lamp reflection that goes along with all. That lamp needs to be added to the head count. But here we have the story of "Jack Bauer, Miriam & Her Leg and the Lamp":
Headcount: 3 + the plant that Jack kicked. We need to send a medic for not only Miriam but the plant too! Send a medic for the plant! Ahahahahaha, Lynn's drugged-up sister and her drugged-up boyfriend are DTL.L.
6 PM to 7 PM:
Ugh, how many times do I have to add that blasted Kim to the Head Count?
So...am I to believe that a cripple left Kim? A one-armed guy who had nothing going for him, left her? I never realized Chase was so smart before... Chase is my new hero.
Stupid line of the episode and it comes from Kim, of course: Don't judge him (in reference to Barry). It's okay for Barry to judge Jack but Jack can't judge? That's right, you secretly add Barry to the Head Count in the story of "Jack Bauer Gives Barry The Look of Death and The Lamp":
Who Jack would like to see dead in the near future: Barry.
I see what they're doing here. They've been trying to ween us off Tony A. all season so that when he got killed, we wouldn't notice the non-silent clock because they thought we wouldn't care! Well, I have to say it's working so far. I'll see how I feel once he goes.
Head Count: 9 including Carrie - the shortest lived anaylst on this show. Plus, poor...dead...Edgar. But you're right, HOchie 1 that was mostly funny due to Chloe's face.
I present to you, a photo post of this Head Count and the Story of "Chloe, Edgar, Sentox Nerve Gas and The Lamp" -
7 PM to 8 PM:
Jack Bauer is holding his breath. This is hilarious.
You know all those little CTU guards? Yeah, the ones running around in red? They're like the unknown people on the Away Missions who always die in Star Trek. But awww, they gave one of them a name - that's right, send Harry Swinton off to die. Good job, Harry. You will remain a hero in 24 history - first for yelling at the Hobbit with the classic line such as "So everyone is dead in CTU because you were embarrassed?" and then for being sent off to your death to save Jack Bauer's life.
AHAHAHAHAHAHA, this "Hobbit Save C.T.U" Music is killing me! One ring to unite them all! Awwwww.
Head count: 3 (and about 55 dead in total in CTU). But, but...Tony A. whhhhhhhhyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy...Why are you last words pansy-ish? "She's gone, Jack"? WTF. But here's the story of "Jack Bauer and His Dead BFF Yet The Tears Still Won't Come and The Lamp":
8 PM to 9 PM:
This Collette person is one scary beast.
Who I'd like to see dead in the near future: Karen Hayes, from HomeS.
Ahahaha, Jack's hiding in the back of the car again. I remember that from season 1 and just how hilarious that was. It's still hilarious.
Head Count: 0.
9 PM to 10 PM:
HOchie 1: I like this whole Audrey interrogation thing.
Audrey Cry Count: 2 Scenes.
Worst line of the season and it came from none other than Audrey: Because he wasn't you, Jack!
Apparently she's the queen of lame lines: the only thing that got me through this was that I knew you would come, Jack.
Rick Burke's getting lots of screen time this season; he's also getting a lot of talk time. I thought Rick was the silent interrogator?
Head Count: 11.
10 PM to 11 PM:
Head Count: 7. Uh, there's a bit of a disclaimer...apparently I forgot to blog about this episode as it was going on. WTF, I don't know what happened either but I did a rough count of who got killed off as Jack & Wayne took out all those people, then J.B. played sniper.
Round 1: a Hobbit Vs. Jack Bauer. Let's weigh this here. I'm putting my money on the Hobbit!
Oh Vampires and their Sentox gas. I've seen THAT story a million times.
Jack, way to leave the black man on the side of the street.
Round 2: President Logan Vs. Moscow. Let's weigh this situation: the assassination of the Russian President on U.S. soil would lead to some reaaaallly pissed off Russians. I'm undecided.
I wonder if Matt watches this show... his ass is all about conspiracy theories. He probably loves this damned thing. Matt: Jack Bauer's Bitch. Or 2: Matt's Bitch. Powerful Logic - Or 2: Jack Bauer's Bitch.
Head Count: 6. Forever Knight is Forever (un)Dead.
4 PM to 5 PM:
Omicron Persei 8? It looked a lot different the last time I saw it. It didn't look so...building-ish or nice looking. Where are the Popplers?
Yeah Jack, how COULD you be so stupid? But being under the floor works out like good times!
Headcount: 6.
5 PM to 6 PM:
Tony A.! I forgot all about your ass already. You are already DTU.
Okay, so before my array of photos gets stuck in here, please notice the wonderful lamp reflection that goes along with all. That lamp needs to be added to the head count. But here we have the story of "Jack Bauer, Miriam & Her Leg and the Lamp":
Headcount: 3 + the plant that Jack kicked. We need to send a medic for not only Miriam but the plant too! Send a medic for the plant! Ahahahahaha, Lynn's drugged-up sister and her drugged-up boyfriend are DTL.L.
6 PM to 7 PM:
Ugh, how many times do I have to add that blasted Kim to the Head Count?
So...am I to believe that a cripple left Kim? A one-armed guy who had nothing going for him, left her? I never realized Chase was so smart before... Chase is my new hero.
Stupid line of the episode and it comes from Kim, of course: Don't judge him (in reference to Barry). It's okay for Barry to judge Jack but Jack can't judge? That's right, you secretly add Barry to the Head Count in the story of "Jack Bauer Gives Barry The Look of Death and The Lamp":
Who Jack would like to see dead in the near future: Barry.
I see what they're doing here. They've been trying to ween us off Tony A. all season so that when he got killed, we wouldn't notice the non-silent clock because they thought we wouldn't care! Well, I have to say it's working so far. I'll see how I feel once he goes.
Head Count: 9 including Carrie - the shortest lived anaylst on this show. Plus, poor...dead...Edgar. But you're right, HOchie 1 that was mostly funny due to Chloe's face.
I present to you, a photo post of this Head Count and the Story of "Chloe, Edgar, Sentox Nerve Gas and The Lamp" -
7 PM to 8 PM:
Jack Bauer is holding his breath. This is hilarious.
You know all those little CTU guards? Yeah, the ones running around in red? They're like the unknown people on the Away Missions who always die in Star Trek. But awww, they gave one of them a name - that's right, send Harry Swinton off to die. Good job, Harry. You will remain a hero in 24 history - first for yelling at the Hobbit with the classic line such as "So everyone is dead in CTU because you were embarrassed?" and then for being sent off to your death to save Jack Bauer's life.
AHAHAHAHAHAHA, this "Hobbit Save C.T.U" Music is killing me! One ring to unite them all! Awwwww.
Head count: 3 (and about 55 dead in total in CTU). But, but...Tony A. whhhhhhhhyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy...Why are you last words pansy-ish? "She's gone, Jack"? WTF. But here's the story of "Jack Bauer and His Dead BFF Yet The Tears Still Won't Come and The Lamp":
8 PM to 9 PM:
This Collette person is one scary beast.
Who I'd like to see dead in the near future: Karen Hayes, from HomeS.
Ahahaha, Jack's hiding in the back of the car again. I remember that from season 1 and just how hilarious that was. It's still hilarious.
Head Count: 0.
9 PM to 10 PM:
HOchie 1: I like this whole Audrey interrogation thing.
Audrey Cry Count: 2 Scenes.
Worst line of the season and it came from none other than Audrey: Because he wasn't you, Jack!
Apparently she's the queen of lame lines: the only thing that got me through this was that I knew you would come, Jack.
Rick Burke's getting lots of screen time this season; he's also getting a lot of talk time. I thought Rick was the silent interrogator?
Head Count: 11.
10 PM to 11 PM:
Head Count: 7. Uh, there's a bit of a disclaimer...apparently I forgot to blog about this episode as it was going on. WTF, I don't know what happened either but I did a rough count of who got killed off as Jack & Wayne took out all those people, then J.B. played sniper.
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
It's All Lies!
I'm still telling you guys - green onions and all onions are evil. It's obvious the lettuce is being set up.
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
ITunes: Some The Times Useless
Can someone explain to me why I can access the ITunes Music Store in various countries, preview songs from these countries but unless I can show proof of residency in said countries, I am unauthorized to make any foreign purchases?
And then to add insult to injury, they tell me that they're gonna re-direct me to the U.S. Store. Needless to say..., Steve Job's getting an angry e-mail soon.
And then to add insult to injury, they tell me that they're gonna re-direct me to the U.S. Store. Needless to say..., Steve Job's getting an angry e-mail soon.
A quiz ... and some revelations about The Hochies, MC, X , SF, J, Beetchie and Battler
Here's the thing, we're going to fill this out first then anyone who'd like to respond - copy and paste your answers in a comment. Remember, in the second part your answers should be in response to how you feel about us. Whoever responds, we'll do the same for you. You know you guys want to.
This quiz is not our own and was pilfered from sources we'd rather not disclose.
1.Your Full Name: HOchie 1 & Or 2.
2. Age: 13 & 62
3. Single or Taken: Taken but you know, I am my own Ho; Taken (Matt will find out soon enough) and I am also my own Ho.
4. Favorite Movie: Labyrinth; The Nightmare Before Christmas
5. Favorite Song: If God Will Send His Angels" by U2; This is hard for me so I'll go with two current - "Map of the Problematique" by MUSE & "What Do They Know?" by MSI
6. Favorite Band/Artist: U2; MUSE
7. Dirty or Clean: Half Dirty/Half Clean - depends on how you look at me; Dirty because dirt don't hurt.
8. Tattoos and/or Piercings: None (my dad would have killed me); one piercing in the upper right ear portion and I live
9. Worst Habit: not exercising enough; not eating enough pork
HERE COMES THE FUN ... ... ...
1. Do we know each other outside of the blog community? Yes
2. What's your philosophy on life? "Only the good die young"; "Bacon"
3. Negative or Optimistic? Negative; Realistic or is that I just don't care enough?
4. What was your dream growing up? To be a singer; I'm still growing up and I still have dreams
5. Worst thing ever happen to you? Those stupid assholes. x2.
6. Would you kiss me? Ew. You're my sister! x2.
7. Tell me one weird fact about you: I can sleep with my eyes open; I have really violent dreams, why just last night I dreamt I had been feasting on human flesh for years and only reconsidered my actions when I got a bad piece of finger. It tasted nasty.
8. Would you have my back or kick me when I'm down? I would have your assback AND kick you when you're down. It depends on my mood; Thanks, HOchie 1. Thanks. I'd have your back whenever it worked out for me.
9. Do you Trust me? Yes; Yes
10. Have you ever kept anything from me? Yes; Yes
11. What do you think of me as a Person? I think you da bomb; You're a Kitty.
12. Do you think I'm sane or insane? I think you're sane; I think you're sane.
13. Would you cry for me if I died? I would lay down and die myself but that was before Beat; I would follow you into the dark.
14. Would you be my crime partner or my conscience? I would be your partner in crime then be your conscience AFTER; I would be your crime partner then let you deal with the consequences
15. If you could change anything about me, would you? Yes, I would make you more ambitious so you could make me more money; No. Biatch.
16. How do you fall asleep? On my left side; on my left side thanks to my piercing.
17. Would you come over to yell at me or just call? Both; I never yell.
18. Would you go on a blind date if I set you up? Yeah, totally; Yeah. As long as it's no emo kids. I am not Emo.
19. If I only had one day to live would you be honest or lie? Honest because I'd want you to do lots of things before you die. I would want you to go to England just in time to get there and die. You wouldn't find Matt but at least you'd be there where he is unless he's doing a concert in Seattle; I would be honest so we can go do stuff like burn bridges.
20. A million bucks.. what would you do with it? I would take it in a suitcase to my workplace, curse out all those bitches, leave then go on vacation; I would invest to make more millions THEN I would curse everyone out and go on vaction.
21. What is your worst fear? That Or 2 would die before me; that HOchie 1 would die before me.
22. Favorite thing to do in your spare time? It used to be reading but now I'm illiterate thanks to Baby B.; play vgames
23. How many times did u curse at me while filling out this thing? Twice; four times
24. Can you sing or dance? Yes and yes; I can do something like both.
25. In one word, how would you describe me? Be honest.... Suga'Face; Hilarical
This quiz is not our own and was pilfered from sources we'd rather not disclose.
1.Your Full Name: HOchie 1 & Or 2.
2. Age: 13 & 62
3. Single or Taken: Taken but you know, I am my own Ho; Taken (Matt will find out soon enough) and I am also my own Ho.
4. Favorite Movie: Labyrinth; The Nightmare Before Christmas
5. Favorite Song: If God Will Send His Angels" by U2; This is hard for me so I'll go with two current - "Map of the Problematique" by MUSE & "What Do They Know?" by MSI
6. Favorite Band/Artist: U2; MUSE
7. Dirty or Clean: Half Dirty/Half Clean - depends on how you look at me; Dirty because dirt don't hurt.
8. Tattoos and/or Piercings: None (my dad would have killed me); one piercing in the upper right ear portion and I live
9. Worst Habit: not exercising enough; not eating enough pork
HERE COMES THE FUN ... ... ...
1. Do we know each other outside of the blog community? Yes
2. What's your philosophy on life? "Only the good die young"; "Bacon"
3. Negative or Optimistic? Negative; Realistic or is that I just don't care enough?
4. What was your dream growing up? To be a singer; I'm still growing up and I still have dreams
5. Worst thing ever happen to you? Those stupid assholes. x2.
6. Would you kiss me? Ew. You're my sister! x2.
7. Tell me one weird fact about you: I can sleep with my eyes open; I have really violent dreams, why just last night I dreamt I had been feasting on human flesh for years and only reconsidered my actions when I got a bad piece of finger. It tasted nasty.
8. Would you have my back or kick me when I'm down? I would have your assback AND kick you when you're down. It depends on my mood; Thanks, HOchie 1. Thanks. I'd have your back whenever it worked out for me.
9. Do you Trust me? Yes; Yes
10. Have you ever kept anything from me? Yes; Yes
11. What do you think of me as a Person? I think you da bomb; You're a Kitty.
12. Do you think I'm sane or insane? I think you're sane; I think you're sane.
13. Would you cry for me if I died? I would lay down and die myself but that was before Beat; I would follow you into the dark.
14. Would you be my crime partner or my conscience? I would be your partner in crime then be your conscience AFTER; I would be your crime partner then let you deal with the consequences
15. If you could change anything about me, would you? Yes, I would make you more ambitious so you could make me more money; No. Biatch.
16. How do you fall asleep? On my left side; on my left side thanks to my piercing.
17. Would you come over to yell at me or just call? Both; I never yell.
18. Would you go on a blind date if I set you up? Yeah, totally; Yeah. As long as it's no emo kids. I am not Emo.
19. If I only had one day to live would you be honest or lie? Honest because I'd want you to do lots of things before you die. I would want you to go to England just in time to get there and die. You wouldn't find Matt but at least you'd be there where he is unless he's doing a concert in Seattle; I would be honest so we can go do stuff like burn bridges.
20. A million bucks.. what would you do with it? I would take it in a suitcase to my workplace, curse out all those bitches, leave then go on vacation; I would invest to make more millions THEN I would curse everyone out and go on vaction.
21. What is your worst fear? That Or 2 would die before me; that HOchie 1 would die before me.
22. Favorite thing to do in your spare time? It used to be reading but now I'm illiterate thanks to Baby B.; play vgames
23. How many times did u curse at me while filling out this thing? Twice; four times
24. Can you sing or dance? Yes and yes; I can do something like both.
25. In one word, how would you describe me? Be honest.... Suga'Face; Hilarical
Sunday, December 10, 2006
Conversations at the Mall
"My feet hurt. My uterus hurts. Everything hurts." - woman to her boyfriend.
"You are never wearing these shoes to the mall again!" - Mother, as she picked up her daughter's shoe.
"But why? They're so crrraaaaaazzzzzzzyyyyy!!!" - little girl in stroller, showing her mom the pink dazzly shoe.
"You are never wearing these shoes to the mall again!" - Mother, as she picked up her daughter's shoe.
"But why? They're so crrraaaaaazzzzzzzyyyyy!!!" - little girl in stroller, showing her mom the pink dazzly shoe.
Saturday, December 09, 2006
June 17th, 2007
I cannot believe MUSE sold out their June 16th show at Wembley Stadium and within the 4 hours (probably less because that's a rough estimate on my part) of it being sold out, because of the high demand they added a 2nd night - also on its way to being sold out. My boys are killing me here. I'm just going to go cry now...
Friday, December 08, 2006
Am I Surprised? Not Really.
Let the record show that I've been an advocate for the death of onions, onion family vegetables including the green onion or scallion and California since the day I was born:
First lawsuit filed in E.coli outbreak
Officials believe they may have found the source
Eyewitness News
(New Hyde Park - WABC, December 7, 2006) - The first lawsuit in the wake of this week's E.coli outbreak was filed Thursday.
They say the contamination may have come from an onion grower in California, with scallions sprinkled on top of food at Taco Bell infecting customers.
A family on Long Island filed a lawsuit against Taco Bell for millions of dollars Thursday after an 11-year old boy got sick after eating at a restaurant.
copyright 2006 WABC - TV
First lawsuit filed in E.coli outbreak
Officials believe they may have found the source
Eyewitness News
(New Hyde Park - WABC, December 7, 2006) - The first lawsuit in the wake of this week's E.coli outbreak was filed Thursday.
They say the contamination may have come from an onion grower in California, with scallions sprinkled on top of food at Taco Bell infecting customers.
A family on Long Island filed a lawsuit against Taco Bell for millions of dollars Thursday after an 11-year old boy got sick after eating at a restaurant.
copyright 2006 WABC - TV
Thursday, December 07, 2006
Guess What?
Season 5 of 24 Starts NOW. Ahahahahahahahaha.
Let's call this season the "I Hate All Of You Writers On This Show For Killing Almost Everyone I Love Off!!!!"
7 AM to 8 AM:
...
no words can describe the grief I feel right now for the DP.
WTF is up with taking the black man down not even 3 minutes into the show?! =(
HOchie 1: What is this hat Jack is wearing? It's looking ridiculous.
Wait, wait, wait...who's this kid Chloe's with? This isn't THE Andrew!
HOchie 1: Who knew that Chloe had a body on her. She lOOkin' pretty good.
Awwwww, Jack's BFF is dead and he's crying! He must have really felt that one.
We're posing as "Frank" now? Frank what? Black? Har Har.
Crap! Damned Smallville is new today and I can't continue watching 24! I'll continue tomorrow when it's Y&M&B&J.
Ok, I'm back but Michelle, not so much...not so much. Poor dead Michelle and poor soon to be dead Tony A. This show is cruel.
Do I want to do an Audrey Cry Count this season? Hmmm, why not I guess.
Audrey Cry Count: 0 Scenes.
Head Count: 5. Damn, Jack killed that guy's ass like nobody's business. That ass, he deserved it. Out of respect, let us take a moment to remember The DP:
DP, you were the best but who's going to sell us car insurance now?
And Michelle, just the way we'd all like to remember her:
8 AM to 9 AM:
Ah, look how they blame Jack for everything. You know Jack is going to kill some asses for being set up as the murderer of his BFFs.
Oh no! They're going to bring Chloe back to CTU to interrogate her! But it's okay, as long as Jack doesn't do it, you'll live.
Audrey Cry Count: 0 Scenes but she's definitely gotten close to tears.
Head Count: 4 or 5. 3 for sure. I don't know how many people got blown up in that one scene...
9 AM to 10 AM:
And once again, Chloe makes an ass out of someone by being so damned blunt and awesome.
Ewwww! He didn't wash his hands after using the urinal, I wouldn't take the security entry card from him and then put it in my mouth. Wow, Mrs. Logan is really crazier than I thought.
Umm, is that Geraint Wyn Davies looking all old and scary? I thought vampires didn't age!
Audrey Cry Count: O Scenes. Perhaps I should change this to the Mike cry count. Audrey's being a little hardcore this season.
Head Count: 2 and if that ugly Ryder Strong dies, he'll have only himself to blame.
10 AM to 11 AM:
Quote of this episode: Mr. President, you are not responsible for the actions of these murderers.
Or 2: No, but I (Walt) am.
And why look, if it isn't the Hobbit, Samwise. And his name is Lynn. Ooooooo, asshole is trying to out Buchanan. Oooooo.
Hobbits save lives.
Head Count: 12.
11 AM to 12 PM:
HOchie 1: Jack Bauer just collects bitches wherever he goes.
Ok that was the worst death on this show - the way that Jack stabbed those scissors
Did Audrey forget that Jack killed her husband? I guess 18 months is enough to heal the heart.
Audrey Cry Count: 1 Scene.
Head Count: 1 rat, 2
12 PM to 1 PM:
Oooooo, Aaron's on to Walt. Aaron is apparently another of Jack Bauer's bitches.
Audrey Cry Count: 1 Scene
Head Count: 1. I should go ahead and Walt on the headcount too because once Jack finds out Walt was responsible for the DP's death, Walt can consider his ass grass. Ok, that was the most hardcore act of interrogation Jack laid down ever. I really wanted to see Walt's eyes go though...damn.
1 PM to 2 PM:
Who Mike would like to see dead in the near future: Mrs. Logan.
You know, as ugly as that Ryder Strong look a-like, he's a better child for Jack than Kim will ever be. Ugh, do we really have to see her useless ass again?
Headcount: 5. Awwww, Walt offed himself. I was hoping Jack would get his retribution. Yeesh, how many times do we have to play the woman scorned card? It was a twist this time but the result is always the same. I can write this damned show now.
2 PM to 3 PM:
Headcount: 22. Jack Bauer would save Baby A and Baby B, Suga'Face not so much.
Let's call this season the "I Hate All Of You Writers On This Show For Killing Almost Everyone I Love Off!!!!"
7 AM to 8 AM:
...
no words can describe the grief I feel right now for the DP.
WTF is up with taking the black man down not even 3 minutes into the show?! =(
HOchie 1: What is this hat Jack is wearing? It's looking ridiculous.
Wait, wait, wait...who's this kid Chloe's with? This isn't THE Andrew!
HOchie 1: Who knew that Chloe had a body on her. She lOOkin' pretty good.
Awwwww, Jack's BFF is dead and he's crying! He must have really felt that one.
We're posing as "Frank" now? Frank what? Black? Har Har.
Crap! Damned Smallville is new today and I can't continue watching 24! I'll continue tomorrow when it's Y&M&B&J.
Ok, I'm back but Michelle, not so much...not so much. Poor dead Michelle and poor soon to be dead Tony A. This show is cruel.
Do I want to do an Audrey Cry Count this season? Hmmm, why not I guess.
Audrey Cry Count: 0 Scenes.
Head Count: 5. Damn, Jack killed that guy's ass like nobody's business. That ass, he deserved it. Out of respect, let us take a moment to remember The DP:
DP, you were the best but who's going to sell us car insurance now?
And Michelle, just the way we'd all like to remember her:
8 AM to 9 AM:
Ah, look how they blame Jack for everything. You know Jack is going to kill some asses for being set up as the murderer of his BFFs.
Oh no! They're going to bring Chloe back to CTU to interrogate her! But it's okay, as long as Jack doesn't do it, you'll live.
Audrey Cry Count: 0 Scenes but she's definitely gotten close to tears.
Head Count: 4 or 5. 3 for sure. I don't know how many people got blown up in that one scene...
9 AM to 10 AM:
And once again, Chloe makes an ass out of someone by being so damned blunt and awesome.
Ewwww! He didn't wash his hands after using the urinal, I wouldn't take the security entry card from him and then put it in my mouth. Wow, Mrs. Logan is really crazier than I thought.
Umm, is that Geraint Wyn Davies looking all old and scary? I thought vampires didn't age!
Audrey Cry Count: O Scenes. Perhaps I should change this to the Mike cry count. Audrey's being a little hardcore this season.
Head Count: 2 and if that ugly Ryder Strong dies, he'll have only himself to blame.
10 AM to 11 AM:
Quote of this episode: Mr. President, you are not responsible for the actions of these murderers.
Or 2: No, but I (Walt) am.
And why look, if it isn't the Hobbit, Samwise. And his name is Lynn. Ooooooo, asshole is trying to out Buchanan. Oooooo.
Hobbits save lives.
Head Count: 12.
11 AM to 12 PM:
HOchie 1: Jack Bauer just collects bitches wherever he goes.
Ok that was the worst death on this show - the way that Jack stabbed those scissors
Did Audrey forget that Jack killed her husband? I guess 18 months is enough to heal the heart.
Audrey Cry Count: 1 Scene.
Head Count: 1 rat, 2
12 PM to 1 PM:
Oooooo, Aaron's on to Walt. Aaron is apparently another of Jack Bauer's bitches.
Audrey Cry Count: 1 Scene
Head Count: 1. I should go ahead and Walt on the headcount too because once Jack finds out Walt was responsible for the DP's death, Walt can consider his ass grass. Ok, that was the most hardcore act of interrogation Jack laid down ever. I really wanted to see Walt's eyes go though...damn.
1 PM to 2 PM:
Who Mike would like to see dead in the near future: Mrs. Logan.
You know, as ugly as that Ryder Strong look a-like, he's a better child for Jack than Kim will ever be. Ugh, do we really have to see her useless ass again?
Headcount: 5. Awwww, Walt offed himself. I was hoping Jack would get his retribution. Yeesh, how many times do we have to play the woman scorned card? It was a twist this time but the result is always the same. I can write this damned show now.
2 PM to 3 PM:
Headcount: 22. Jack Bauer would save Baby A and Baby B, Suga'Face not so much.
Wednesday, December 06, 2006
Unspecified Medical Condition My ***
I hate ridiculous stories like this.
Just call it what is please. We all do it.
The UMC is called GAS.
Update: This is the kind of intelligent woman that Nashville, Tenn. produces. Does anyone really want to move there? =)
- Dr. Hochie 1
Just call it what is please. We all do it.
The UMC is called GAS.
Update: This is the kind of intelligent woman that Nashville, Tenn. produces. Does anyone really want to move there? =)
- Dr. Hochie 1
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
The Memorable Quotes I Failed To Mentioned For The Past Two Weeks
"You'll always be close to my heart. Or 2 Supports Me." - X on 2006-05-12
GChat Away Messages:
MC's: Swine is a Filthy Animal.
Or 2's: MC is a Filthy Animal.
X's: Therefore MC is a Swine.
Ah, the power of logic...
And speaking of logic -
Remember the chuckles? Yes. I remember when MC sent us this brilliant display at genius mathetical problem solving. And I remembered it again two weeks ago after a scenario went down, a like so:
During our visit to the Bodies Exhibit (which by the way was good yet verrrry shady) :
"TD5, can you come help me out for a second?" - MC
"What's up?" - TD5
"I can't find it." - MC
"Find what?" - TD5
"I don't understand it...I can't find it." - MC
"Well, here's the digestive tract and nutrients go where they need to go and waste is excreeted from here." - TD5
"I still don't understand. I can't find it. I'm seeing a lot of holes. Where's the asshole?" - MC
"..." - TD5
Bounce in "I see it. There it is!" - Or 2. Bounce out.
"It's so...small." - MC.
At which point, TD5 walks off.
When relating this fantastic story of MC and the Asshole to X, her comment was: Doesn't MC wipe his own ass?! What does he mean 'small'?!
GChat Away Messages:
MC's: Swine is a Filthy Animal.
Or 2's: MC is a Filthy Animal.
X's: Therefore MC is a Swine.
Ah, the power of logic...
And speaking of logic -
Remember the chuckles? Yes. I remember when MC sent us this brilliant display at genius mathetical problem solving. And I remembered it again two weeks ago after a scenario went down, a like so:
During our visit to the Bodies Exhibit (which by the way was good yet verrrry shady) :
"TD5, can you come help me out for a second?" - MC
"What's up?" - TD5
"I can't find it." - MC
"Find what?" - TD5
"I don't understand it...I can't find it." - MC
"Well, here's the digestive tract and nutrients go where they need to go and waste is excreeted from here." - TD5
"I still don't understand. I can't find it. I'm seeing a lot of holes. Where's the asshole?" - MC
"..." - TD5
Bounce in "I see it. There it is!" - Or 2. Bounce out.
"It's so...small." - MC.
At which point, TD5 walks off.
When relating this fantastic story of MC and the Asshole to X, her comment was: Doesn't MC wipe his own ass?! What does he mean 'small'?!
Monday, December 04, 2006
June 16th, 2007
MUSE held a press conference today and announced a show at Wembley Stadium for 06/16/07. It's going to be huge! So here's the plan (because you all so love hearing my MUSE related banter and plans):
The concert's a Saturday. So we fly to London on Friday night, go for Dim Sum when we get in Saturday morning, visit the Aquarium near Big Ben for 2 hours, fancy up ourselves for the concert, then head to Wembley STADIUM via the Bakerloo Line, see the greatest band in the world at WS (but not really see anything other than what we can make out on the screens because we're talking massive space), and then fly to Japan for 2 weeks!
I will now edit and add to my "Christmas wishlist" to include:
3. Tickets to the Wembley Stadium Show. They go on sale at 9 AM London time this Saturday (12/09/06), so that's 4 AM for NY.
And now I wait for the (and to use an SF term - hopefully I'm using it correctly) lambasting to begin but honestly, before tearing me a new one, my friends...think about it. Think about it...
The concert's a Saturday. So we fly to London on Friday night, go for Dim Sum when we get in Saturday morning, visit the Aquarium near Big Ben for 2 hours, fancy up ourselves for the concert, then head to Wembley STADIUM via the Bakerloo Line, see the greatest band in the world at WS (but not really see anything other than what we can make out on the screens because we're talking massive space), and then fly to Japan for 2 weeks!
I will now edit and add to my "Christmas wishlist" to include:
3. Tickets to the Wembley Stadium Show. They go on sale at 9 AM London time this Saturday (12/09/06), so that's 4 AM for NY.
And now I wait for the (and to use an SF term - hopefully I'm using it correctly) lambasting to begin but honestly, before tearing me a new one, my friends...think about it. Think about it...
Sunday, December 03, 2006
My Christmas Un-WishList
I happened upon a very disturbing blog last night. I couldn't believe my eyes - that bitch wrote up a wishlist. I have a problem with writing up a wishlist. Maybe it's just me and because I know her but how much of a bitch do you have to be to put up a wishlist on your blog, online for the public to see? Well alright, maybe her friends asked her to do so but when I read what she wanted... my word. Her list was high maintenance and demanding. I'm sorry, but if your ass wants an upgraded electronic item then you should go out and buy it your damned self since your original is working just fine.
Anyway, so in response to the atrocity I read, I've decided to create the Un-WishList of my own.
1. I don't want 'trendy and overly expensive' coats and sweaters.
2. I don't want an entirely new 130 dollar gaming system JUST because it's pink and been slightly upgraded.
3. I don't want ridiculously priced perfume that's only what it is due to brand name.
4. I don't want gift certificates to lame ass, trendy stores for hoochies when I know their clothes aren't going to fit me properly nor should I be trying to rock such obscene gear.
Yes, I am a bitch but you guys already know that. But because you assclowns love me, I'll put a wishlist of my own here:
1. SF, get me Fergie and I will destroy you. The same goes for Gwen. Don't forget what I told you. Remember what I said - you give any of those to me for Christmas and I will give you video footage of my destroying them for YOUR Christmas gift. I love you too, SF. I love you too.
2. Matt.
Anyway, so in response to the atrocity I read, I've decided to create the Un-WishList of my own.
1. I don't want 'trendy and overly expensive' coats and sweaters.
2. I don't want an entirely new 130 dollar gaming system JUST because it's pink and been slightly upgraded.
3. I don't want ridiculously priced perfume that's only what it is due to brand name.
4. I don't want gift certificates to lame ass, trendy stores for hoochies when I know their clothes aren't going to fit me properly nor should I be trying to rock such obscene gear.
Yes, I am a bitch but you guys already know that. But because you assclowns love me, I'll put a wishlist of my own here:
1. SF, get me Fergie and I will destroy you. The same goes for Gwen. Don't forget what I told you. Remember what I said - you give any of those to me for Christmas and I will give you video footage of my destroying them for YOUR Christmas gift. I love you too, SF. I love you too.
2. Matt.
Saturday, December 02, 2006
DRV Ruins Broadway Shows...
Never mind that I have only seen and heard her in one Broadway show but I cannot believe that the cur that is Daphne Rubin-Vega could be good in any show. That woman almost got a bottle in her head from me because I could not believe that after waiting more than a decade to see Les Miserables and to hear "I dreamed a Dream" and "Come To Me" that the moment came down to a raspy, flat belting out and a bastardization of the two greatest Broadway songs eva'.
WHAT DE ASS?!
I so did not pay 118USD to hear such crap.
The only reason that I did not write this off as a total loss is because DRV/Fantine died quickly and that Jean Valjean and Javert were just terrific. DRV sucks. A disgrace to Panama and to all other people on Broadway who can actually sing. Eponine and Little Cosette included. Imagine, even Little Cosette outsang you and moved me to almost crying with her "Castle in the Clouds". I just wanted you to die.
I getting vex again. This post is DONE.
TD5, I don't want to hear about how she was not that bad and don't forget, if I get any DRV stuff, it is getting sent back to you ... in pieces! - H1, angried up.
Quote of the day:
H1: I am woman.
Giant Kitty: Hear me roar. I mean, hear you roar.
WHAT DE ASS?!
I so did not pay 118USD to hear such crap.
The only reason that I did not write this off as a total loss is because DRV/Fantine died quickly and that Jean Valjean and Javert were just terrific. DRV sucks. A disgrace to Panama and to all other people on Broadway who can actually sing. Eponine and Little Cosette included. Imagine, even Little Cosette outsang you and moved me to almost crying with her "Castle in the Clouds". I just wanted you to die.
I getting vex again. This post is DONE.
TD5, I don't want to hear about how she was not that bad and don't forget, if I get any DRV stuff, it is getting sent back to you ... in pieces! - H1, angried up.
Quote of the day:
H1: I am woman.
Giant Kitty: Hear me roar. I mean, hear you roar.
Hot Hot Heat
This post is in honour of X.
X at the bus stop:
"Oh my god! A pigeon was trying to get away from a car and flew straight into me!"
X on coconuts:
"I wanted one jelly nut and he brought me 10 water nuts! So I threw a tantrum for 4 hours and kicked his shoes down the hallway, then kicked them back up the hallway!"
X 'on fire' (and hence name of this blog post):
"I always think I'm hotter than I really am."
X at the bus stop:
"Oh my god! A pigeon was trying to get away from a car and flew straight into me!"
X on coconuts:
"I wanted one jelly nut and he brought me 10 water nuts! So I threw a tantrum for 4 hours and kicked his shoes down the hallway, then kicked them back up the hallway!"
X 'on fire' (and hence name of this blog post):
"I always think I'm hotter than I really am."
Friday, December 01, 2006
"I Bitch-Slapped Death With My One Good Hand"
It's true...Ash did it. And all 8 of us saw it and loved it!
Evil Dead The Musical was greatness. It was cheesey, brilliant and bloody. Oh the blood! It was everywhere and on everyone! At least it was on everyone in the first three rows and wouldn't you know it? Or 2, Giant Kitty, TD5, X, Beetchie, Marie, Jess, & Battler were FRONT and CENTER.
The highlights of the evening all involved X. Beetchie and X got grabbed by Cheryl but did Beetchie and X save poor Cheryl when she was being dragged away by evil trees?! No.
And then came the Splatter Zone along with that blood I was mentioning before. I don't think anyone in our group saw that scene of gore because we were all too busy covering our faces and protecting our bodies from the blood.
And again, Cheryl, now zombiefied, grabbed X and riiiiippped her poncho all the way down and apart! Protection from the blood for X was gone! But X, being a Dr. and all, improvised and bunched the poncho in front, bent foward and covered her body. Triumph was X's...front but not so much the back. It was brilliant when the blood rolled off her back and unto her ass. And it was even more brilliant when she had to walk the streets of NYC with it too.
Classic songs and lines and of the evening -
"Death's a bitch...a stupid bitch." - Scott.
"What The Fuck Was That?"
I even got my picture taken with Ash for 10 bucks. That Ash is kind of cute even if he is Canadian...
Evil Dead The Musical was greatness. It was cheesey, brilliant and bloody. Oh the blood! It was everywhere and on everyone! At least it was on everyone in the first three rows and wouldn't you know it? Or 2, Giant Kitty, TD5, X, Beetchie, Marie, Jess, & Battler were FRONT and CENTER.
The highlights of the evening all involved X. Beetchie and X got grabbed by Cheryl but did Beetchie and X save poor Cheryl when she was being dragged away by evil trees?! No.
And then came the Splatter Zone along with that blood I was mentioning before. I don't think anyone in our group saw that scene of gore because we were all too busy covering our faces and protecting our bodies from the blood.
And again, Cheryl, now zombiefied, grabbed X and riiiiippped her poncho all the way down and apart! Protection from the blood for X was gone! But X, being a Dr. and all, improvised and bunched the poncho in front, bent foward and covered her body. Triumph was X's...front but not so much the back. It was brilliant when the blood rolled off her back and unto her ass. And it was even more brilliant when she had to walk the streets of NYC with it too.
Classic songs and lines and of the evening -
"Death's a bitch...a stupid bitch." - Scott.
"What The Fuck Was That?"
I even got my picture taken with Ash for 10 bucks. That Ash is kind of cute even if he is Canadian...
Sunday, November 26, 2006
More Idiot Than Savant
Once upon a time, in the land of Denial, there lived an IS named Mitch *Connors*...uh I mean... an IS named Mooch *Cunnurs* (identity changed so as not to protect the seemingly innocent).
MC lived a quiet life in gloomy ole Rochester, counseling the troubled youth of America. Uh, make that Rochester.
MC was loved by all but was not without enemies. Actually, his only true self-proclaimed enemy was pork. Although not much is known as to where this animosity between MC and the pork emerged, one thing was 'certain'... Pork was the Babylon Meat.
One day at a local pizza parlor while treating said troubled youth to some lunch,
little did he know about the trouble HE was about to face and counseling he would receive from his young students. Nothing would prepare him for what would become one of the greatest life choices he would ever have to make.
MC: Kids! What will we be having today? I could go for a slice of pepperoni myself.
Kids: That sounds good but why don't you get more meat? You should add some bacon and ham as well.
MC: No, no, no. I don't eat pork.
Kids: What?! Hahahahahahahahahahaha!
MC: What is so funny?" he asked, while thinking 'WDA?' (He was trying his best to keep it PG being that these were youths and all).
Kids: But sir, don't you know what pepperoni is?
MC: ...
(MC now has a bewildered look on his face)
Kids: Sir, pepperoni is pork.
MC, having already ordered the pepperoni slice, shrugged.
A few weeks later, via gchat with TD5, he raised the question, "TD5, did you know pepperoni is pork?"
To which TD5 responded, "of course it is; what kind of Trini are you?"
"I didn't know...all these years.", MC said.
"So where did you think it came from, MC?" asked TD5.
"I always thought some kind of pepperoni animal," Mitch replied.
TD5 logged off.
Flashforward to Thanksgiving weekend at the HOchie Residence. The scent of ham was wafting throughout the house. All creatures were stirring except Mooch *Cunnurs*.
Papa HOchie: MC, you don't eat pork?
TD5: Ask him about pepperoni.
MC: TD5, why did you have to go there?
Papa HOchie: You eat ham?
MC: No
Papa HOchie: You eat bacon?
(no response)
Papa Hochie: You eat pepperoni?
MC: yes (in a meek voice)
Papa HOchie: But you like pepperoni?
MC: yes, all these years...
Papa HOchie: But then you like pork. Just admit it.
- This blog post and story was brought to you by The HOchies, TD5 and X
Details of the above story are not transcripted and are a bit sketchy but have been assembled through conversations by all parties involved. Denial is most welcome by MC even though video footage of a full confession is available to provide further corroboration.
In a quest to discover what a Pepperoni Animal may look like, we searched google for answers. Google turned up with nothing as expected. With paper, pencil, markers and imaginaaaation, we have come up with a concept sketch:
We can only assume that a Pepperoni Animal would say "moink moink" being that as pepperoni is a combination of a cow and pig, 'moink' is only as logical as this entire post.
MC lived a quiet life in gloomy ole Rochester, counseling the troubled youth of America. Uh, make that Rochester.
MC was loved by all but was not without enemies. Actually, his only true self-proclaimed enemy was pork. Although not much is known as to where this animosity between MC and the pork emerged, one thing was 'certain'... Pork was the Babylon Meat.
One day at a local pizza parlor while treating said troubled youth to some lunch,
little did he know about the trouble HE was about to face and counseling he would receive from his young students. Nothing would prepare him for what would become one of the greatest life choices he would ever have to make.
MC: Kids! What will we be having today? I could go for a slice of pepperoni myself.
Kids: That sounds good but why don't you get more meat? You should add some bacon and ham as well.
MC: No, no, no. I don't eat pork.
Kids: What?! Hahahahahahahahahahaha!
MC: What is so funny?" he asked, while thinking 'WDA?' (He was trying his best to keep it PG being that these were youths and all).
Kids: But sir, don't you know what pepperoni is?
MC: ...
(MC now has a bewildered look on his face)
Kids: Sir, pepperoni is pork.
MC, having already ordered the pepperoni slice, shrugged.
A few weeks later, via gchat with TD5, he raised the question, "TD5, did you know pepperoni is pork?"
To which TD5 responded, "of course it is; what kind of Trini are you?"
"I didn't know...all these years.", MC said.
"So where did you think it came from, MC?" asked TD5.
"I always thought some kind of pepperoni animal," Mitch replied.
TD5 logged off.
Flashforward to Thanksgiving weekend at the HOchie Residence. The scent of ham was wafting throughout the house. All creatures were stirring except Mooch *Cunnurs*.
Papa HOchie: MC, you don't eat pork?
TD5: Ask him about pepperoni.
MC: TD5, why did you have to go there?
Papa HOchie: You eat ham?
MC: No
Papa HOchie: You eat bacon?
(no response)
Papa Hochie: You eat pepperoni?
MC: yes (in a meek voice)
Papa HOchie: But you like pepperoni?
MC: yes, all these years...
Papa HOchie: But then you like pork. Just admit it.
- This blog post and story was brought to you by The HOchies, TD5 and X
Details of the above story are not transcripted and are a bit sketchy but have been assembled through conversations by all parties involved. Denial is most welcome by MC even though video footage of a full confession is available to provide further corroboration.
In a quest to discover what a Pepperoni Animal may look like, we searched google for answers. Google turned up with nothing as expected. With paper, pencil, markers and imaginaaaation, we have come up with a concept sketch:
We can only assume that a Pepperoni Animal would say "moink moink" being that as pepperoni is a combination of a cow and pig, 'moink' is only as logical as this entire post.
Friday, November 24, 2006
Happy Thanksgiving, Bitches!
It was a good Thanksgiving. There was lots of good food and lots of good times with friends and family.
I hope all had good times as well.
Here are the classic quotes for the day, 11/23/06:
"That's what you get for calling me a cowbell!" - Me to Beetchie, on Guitar Hero.
"Omg, I pulled a Matt." - Beetchie
"We will not be using the term "pulling a Matt" to describe bad hair." - Me.
"This mouth has launched 1000 restaurants." - Beetchie.
"We're from Trinidad, what do we know about trees?!" - MC & myself, during a game of Cranium.
I hope all had good times as well.
Here are the classic quotes for the day, 11/23/06:
"That's what you get for calling me a cowbell!" - Me to Beetchie, on Guitar Hero.
"Omg, I pulled a Matt." - Beetchie
"We will not be using the term "pulling a Matt" to describe bad hair." - Me.
"This mouth has launched 1000 restaurants." - Beetchie.
"We're from Trinidad, what do we know about trees?!" - MC & myself, during a game of Cranium.
Or 2's The Famous U.K. MUSE - DAY 6
Chapter 5: "Someone Tell Me Why He Breaks My Fall, and Then Breaks My Heart"
Ah the final full day. Char Kar ran off to the British National Museum and The British Library. Battler ran off to find a lost and found since she lost her hat on the train and to the Sherlock Holmes Museum Gift Shop. These things were all very interesting and I would have liked to visit all of those places but I needed to pack the not so copious amounts of candy I bought the night before. Also, I had to stay at the hotel and get ready for my future husband!
Seeing MUSE in London was brilliant! I wasn't very close to my man this time around but I got to see the show the way the band's performances are meant to be seen - in a huge space. What better a place to see my boys than at Wembley Arena?
They put on one hell of a show as expected and I got so much footage, it's disgusting. If I wanted to, I could have taped the entire show. I totally smuggled that camera in. Uhh, I mean...I'm a tourist. I had it on me after doing so much sightseeing that day. Yes... That's EXACTLY what went down. Unfortunately, I was kind of far from the stage so I didn't get to really see Matt's semi-beautiful face but my view was not so horrible that he appeared a tiny speck.
The lightshow was even more impressive this time. I didn't get outright blinded (The Cheat got banned from Wembley and couldn't do the laser lights at the show this time either):
And look! I actually got a picture of Chris this time! Uh, kind of:
The setlist was basically the same as the show in NY save the three new songs I got to hear:
Take A Bow (still an awesome opener)
Hysteria
New Born
Butterflies & Hurricanes
Assassin (Extended) - (my boys rock!!!!!!!!!!!! It was complete hotness and ::cough:: J, I have a request - Nov. 27th when the KofC single comes out, can you please acquire the Assassin Extended version for me? Heh Heh Heh)
Map Of The Problematique (Matt dedicated my song to me ::sniff:: I love you too, Bells)
Plug In Baby
Soldier's Poem
Invincible
Supermassive Black Hole (I don't know what was up with the robots but it was hilarious and great)
Forced In
Time Is Running Out
Starlight (It was Space Invaders all over again!)
Stockholm Syndrome
Encore 1:
Citizen Erased (I almost cried. That song is beautiful)
Bliss
Encore 2:
Hoodoo (And again, I cannot stress how much I love that man and that band)
Knights Of Cydonia (still only great in concert but it was even more awesome this time around)
WTF Moments II:
1. Notice how once again I didn't get Muscle Museum?! WTF guys?! WTF!!!!!!!!!!!! And what's worse... I had to do the stupid thing and torture myself to see what the setlist was for the other nights at Wembley. The show for Nov. 22nd got Sunburn but what really kills me is that the Nov. 23rd show got EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! They got Exo-Politics, City of Delusion, Apocalypse Please and damned Muscle Museum!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Bitches, why?!!!!!
2. Okay, Matt. WTF was up with the 'cape'? I know it was a giant scarf and it was really cool as all hell but still. You were really hot standing on stage with the 'cape' blowing in the wind but then when the prancing started, I was just...so confused and embarrassed. Ugh.
Still, like I said...the cape was pretty was hot:
3. WTF was up with the 'smashing' of the guitar at the end of the set? First of all, there was no need for that. You could have given it to me. Secondly, only hardcore rockers should do that because they know how to. You kind of looked silly and once again my face turned red from embarrassment. God knows I have to get rid of that video footage to hide the evidence. *Disclaimer II: if you ever read this Matt, I swear you're a hardcore rocker. Honestly, that riff you pulled during Assassin was amazing!*
4. Trumpets at the other Wembley Shows?! WTF? Why do you hate me, boys?!
5. WTF - That guy was back... The one that looked like a troll next to Dom's drumkit. This time he was on his keyboard which was kind of hidden in the shadows.
It was a good end to the trip for me. I got to see my favourite band and bought a jacket with MUSE's logo on it. It is a bit too big for me but whatever. I may have to have it tailored. I really wanted that shirt with the hot pink though. Maybe I'll get it next year when they return.
Currently listening to: Whatever crappy XM stations we have on the TV. 80's on 8 with some song by The Eagles.
*And on a side note, (it's 05/01/2007) as I amend this blog, since they're blowing up in a big way state side these days, I'll give them their due now:
The Noisettes opened for MUSE at this show. I can't say I was very impressed by them. They were alright but I really couldn't handle the lead singer's voice too much. They did have one or two songs I liked but ask me if I remember what they were...*
Ah the final full day. Char Kar ran off to the British National Museum and The British Library. Battler ran off to find a lost and found since she lost her hat on the train and to the Sherlock Holmes Museum Gift Shop. These things were all very interesting and I would have liked to visit all of those places but I needed to pack the not so copious amounts of candy I bought the night before. Also, I had to stay at the hotel and get ready for my future husband!
Seeing MUSE in London was brilliant! I wasn't very close to my man this time around but I got to see the show the way the band's performances are meant to be seen - in a huge space. What better a place to see my boys than at Wembley Arena?
They put on one hell of a show as expected and I got so much footage, it's disgusting. If I wanted to, I could have taped the entire show. I totally smuggled that camera in. Uhh, I mean...I'm a tourist. I had it on me after doing so much sightseeing that day. Yes... That's EXACTLY what went down. Unfortunately, I was kind of far from the stage so I didn't get to really see Matt's semi-beautiful face but my view was not so horrible that he appeared a tiny speck.
The lightshow was even more impressive this time. I didn't get outright blinded (The Cheat got banned from Wembley and couldn't do the laser lights at the show this time either):
And look! I actually got a picture of Chris this time! Uh, kind of:
The setlist was basically the same as the show in NY save the three new songs I got to hear:
Take A Bow (still an awesome opener)
Hysteria
New Born
Butterflies & Hurricanes
Assassin (Extended) - (my boys rock!!!!!!!!!!!! It was complete hotness and ::cough:: J, I have a request - Nov. 27th when the KofC single comes out, can you please acquire the Assassin Extended version for me? Heh Heh Heh)
Map Of The Problematique (Matt dedicated my song to me ::sniff:: I love you too, Bells)
Plug In Baby
Soldier's Poem
Invincible
Supermassive Black Hole (I don't know what was up with the robots but it was hilarious and great)
Forced In
Time Is Running Out
Starlight (It was Space Invaders all over again!)
Stockholm Syndrome
Encore 1:
Citizen Erased (I almost cried. That song is beautiful)
Bliss
Encore 2:
Hoodoo (And again, I cannot stress how much I love that man and that band)
Knights Of Cydonia (still only great in concert but it was even more awesome this time around)
WTF Moments II:
1. Notice how once again I didn't get Muscle Museum?! WTF guys?! WTF!!!!!!!!!!!! And what's worse... I had to do the stupid thing and torture myself to see what the setlist was for the other nights at Wembley. The show for Nov. 22nd got Sunburn but what really kills me is that the Nov. 23rd show got EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! They got Exo-Politics, City of Delusion, Apocalypse Please and damned Muscle Museum!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Bitches, why?!!!!!
2. Okay, Matt. WTF was up with the 'cape'? I know it was a giant scarf and it was really cool as all hell but still. You were really hot standing on stage with the 'cape' blowing in the wind but then when the prancing started, I was just...so confused and embarrassed. Ugh.
Still, like I said...the cape was pretty was hot:
3. WTF was up with the 'smashing' of the guitar at the end of the set? First of all, there was no need for that. You could have given it to me. Secondly, only hardcore rockers should do that because they know how to. You kind of looked silly and once again my face turned red from embarrassment. God knows I have to get rid of that video footage to hide the evidence. *Disclaimer II: if you ever read this Matt, I swear you're a hardcore rocker. Honestly, that riff you pulled during Assassin was amazing!*
4. Trumpets at the other Wembley Shows?! WTF? Why do you hate me, boys?!
5. WTF - That guy was back... The one that looked like a troll next to Dom's drumkit. This time he was on his keyboard which was kind of hidden in the shadows.
It was a good end to the trip for me. I got to see my favourite band and bought a jacket with MUSE's logo on it. It is a bit too big for me but whatever. I may have to have it tailored. I really wanted that shirt with the hot pink though. Maybe I'll get it next year when they return.
Currently listening to: Whatever crappy XM stations we have on the TV. 80's on 8 with some song by The Eagles.
*And on a side note, (it's 05/01/2007) as I amend this blog, since they're blowing up in a big way state side these days, I'll give them their due now:
The Noisettes opened for MUSE at this show. I can't say I was very impressed by them. They were alright but I really couldn't handle the lead singer's voice too much. They did have one or two songs I liked but ask me if I remember what they were...*
Or 2's The Famous London Frog or Crow. Whatever! - DAY 5
Chapter 4: The Tower, the Crows, the Bridge, the Circus and the Ripper
We made it to the Tower of London on Monday. I really liked the Tower and all in it. Look at it below. It's pretty cool, right?
There were Knights and Armour but my stupid ass didn't buy my St. George's Cross umbrella. They didn't even have a Jester's Hat for me to buy. So exactly why did I like the Tower? Hm. Now that I think about it, the Tower sucked! The long spiral staircases were almost the death of me. And those damned crows were waiting for it, you know, when they weren't showing me their asses (Whether it be D.C. or London, animals like showing me their asses):
And I just have to say it but London Bridge can be seen from the Tower and Fergie should stop bastardizing it.
Now for something random and because I just wanted to post it, here's an example of a toilet in the Tower:
Yes, it was tough work for me using that bathroom and yes, it was even worse for the person walking below.
After the Tower, we made our way to Picadilly Circus which was the equivalent of Times Square & 5th Avenue. I was very unimpressed and got out of there quickly. I went there with a mission and succeeded.
The last thing we did that day was go on the Jack the Ripper Tour at East End. We were late but caught up with the tour. We snuck at the back and thought we were in the clear but for some reason that Tour Guide was quite keen and noticed that we joined the tour later. And so another 6 pounds came out of my pocket. At least, we three weren't the only ones. I took no pictures on that tour due to the fact that the neighbourhood is now so modern that the photos would all be useless.
We made it to the Tower of London on Monday. I really liked the Tower and all in it. Look at it below. It's pretty cool, right?
There were Knights and Armour but my stupid ass didn't buy my St. George's Cross umbrella. They didn't even have a Jester's Hat for me to buy. So exactly why did I like the Tower? Hm. Now that I think about it, the Tower sucked! The long spiral staircases were almost the death of me. And those damned crows were waiting for it, you know, when they weren't showing me their asses (Whether it be D.C. or London, animals like showing me their asses):
And I just have to say it but London Bridge can be seen from the Tower and Fergie should stop bastardizing it.
Now for something random and because I just wanted to post it, here's an example of a toilet in the Tower:
Yes, it was tough work for me using that bathroom and yes, it was even worse for the person walking below.
After the Tower, we made our way to Picadilly Circus which was the equivalent of Times Square & 5th Avenue. I was very unimpressed and got out of there quickly. I went there with a mission and succeeded.
The last thing we did that day was go on the Jack the Ripper Tour at East End. We were late but caught up with the tour. We snuck at the back and thought we were in the clear but for some reason that Tour Guide was quite keen and noticed that we joined the tour later. And so another 6 pounds came out of my pocket. At least, we three weren't the only ones. I took no pictures on that tour due to the fact that the neighbourhood is now so modern that the photos would all be useless.
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