Monday, May 09, 2011

The Bronx Zoo: With Lions, Tigers and Davids...Oh My...Glob? What? (Part I)

I'll explain!

There's so much wrong with that blog title and I'll tell you why...soon-ish.

First, I would like to say that going to the Bronx Zoo for opening time is the best.  I'm sure it's even better going during the week but we do what we can, when we can.

Some of the animals are fairly active and not lazing about in that hot ass midday sun or napping after lunch, and the Zoo grounds were just an entirely different experience for me.

Which also leads me to mention that Membership is also hella' awesome (do people still say 'hella'', by the way?).  Pesky lines are mostly eradicated and 10% at the gift shop is 10% at the gift shop.  Hey man, it's better than 0%.  Why go to a gift shop though with all things tourist trap? I'll tell you why...soon-ish.

For once, in the few times I have been to the zoo, I enjoyed myself.  I enjoyed walking around at ease, the cool air and the lack of wild animals people crowding me like the plague.  It was no surprise then that when we were still jaunting around there at around 3 p.m., annoyance took over when the zoo became packed with some rude jerks.

However, let us not think on the negative but instead focus on the thousand plus pictures I took whilst there.

Well, I wouldn't want to torture neither you nor myself with thousands of pictures but here's a sneak peek at the adventure the HOchieS enjoyed on Saturday morning (click the pictures to enlarge):

This Saturday Morning felt like Toco, with more waterfalls.
Right around this area as we entered the Zoo grounds reminded H1 and I of our childhood going to the beach house in Toco in Trinidad.  Those were fun days which we will always remember.  The Toco air had a strange mixed smell of salt and river with the ocean and river connecting to each other.  We spent many days there over the course of our earlier years, throwing open the massive windows to let in that strange, wonderful beach air on mornings, and playing cards around the table downstairs at night.  The ground was cool under our bare feet and we had to constantly be on the move to shoo away any mosquitoes that may not have been held off by the coils.

This morning right there and in that moment felt like that and it was the start to a good day.

This awesome bird met us on our path up the hill
A grand ol' Bison.  Wait for it...
waaaaiiittt fooorrr ittt...
Aww yeah.  Nothing like that Saturday morning bath.
Baths for all!
The awesome lack of people and the peace of the morning let me thoroughly enjoy the Zoo grounds.  I had the time to truly notice just how amazing the buildings were, and how damned wonderful the space was.  I was obsessed with the buildings but how could I not be? There are some gorgeous buildings here.

Awesomely scary
Look at it!
A broken tusk elephant with his buddies.
I should also mention I was obsessed with these trees.
But the buildings! and the frogs! What.
Under attack by some gorfs.
Eat their legs!
The obvious thing to do if you're gonna do it, is to hop on the Monorail on the Asian tour as early as possible which is exactly what we did in the hopes of catching a glimpse of some early morning animal activity.

Lurking in the shadows....
...the wildlife

If there's one thing to be said about Asia, it's that there are lots of deer.  Deer were represented strong on this little tour.  Phew! And the other thing to know about the Bronx Zoo in general, is that peacocks clearly rule the damned place.  Those bastards are everywhere, strutting around like they own the place...and they probably do.

We saw deer (of all kinds, not just these), and peacock asses.
Cutie Mongolian horses. 
So I lied.  We did not go the big cat exhibit.  I saw no lions.  But, there is this tiger to show for.
Skulking and going up to the monorail as it passed by too.  'cary but so cute, aww.
Also seen: a David.  This is David.  He was our monorail tour guide to Asia.  And he was hilarious.  I hope they're paying his man a lot because he can easily find a job in stand up comedy.  He gave us gems all morning.
What zoo post would this be without your obligatory elephants?
Every time I come to the zoo, there's that one animal I want to see most and the one animal who always escapes being seen properly.  This one here is named Walter, and why break tradition?

Here's Walter, and here's my crappy picture of him.  And if you look closely, you can see he's also sticking his tongue out at me.  Thanks, ass.  Thanks.
Leaving those beasts behind, we went to visit some beastly monkeys.  Here are the little jerks just hanging out.

I mean, really.  What else is there to do on a Saturday morning?
Oh.  Please! There are children in your presence! Think about the children!
Moving along... it must be hard being a giraffe what with the undignified positions endured just to sit down.
It must be even harder being an ostrich penned up with some giraffes.  I watched this thing try desperately to bust out.  Hilarious.
It is here I will break to let you know ahead of time that what we did witnessed next was downright scary.  Of course, it probably was not nearly as scary as the smells we endured at the enclosed area to visit the giraffes and other animals (can I just say the stink?) but still, very interesting and bloody nightmarish.

Beautifully crafted exhibit to house incredible nightmares
H1 and I are not fans of gorillas.  They're extremely intelligent, too human and too creepy.  We probably dislike zombies more but gorillas are high up there on the list too.

We had been walking for some time until we got to a gorgeous room with a huge semi-circular window that looked out into the gorilla enclosure.  There were seated areas in the back and H1 took up residence to make a phone call.

I was observing the "monkeys watching the monkeys", so to speak.  People always go insane at this portion of the exhibit because the gorillas have no qualms about entertaining their less hairy counterparts or being freakishly close to the glass.

Needless to say, and it always almost happens, one of the gorillas decided to play a game.  With a long twig in his mouth, he rushed the glass to the squeals of delight and amazement of his on-lookers.  He smacked it, and ran off.

People stupidly egged him on by slapping the glass and making frustrated gestures at him.

He obliged.

Interested, he gave the people what he wanted and sat on top a rock looking down with quiet indignation and fascination all at once.

I watched all this quietly from my elevated spot and decided to get closer to see what would happen and get a picture.  From where I stood, and where the gorilla sat, he and I were pretty much at eye-level.

As I was snapping pictures of him, focusing and staring through the eye piece, it occurred to me...that something was very calculated in his actions, and I soon realized what he was doing.

Quiet observation...
Knowingly, pondering, nonchalantly...
You saw what I saw, right?

There is no doubt gorillas are intelligent but when I realized he was 'taking pictures' too there was something so surreal, and scary about it that I cannot even begin to describe it.  It was such an exact, slow, thoughtful movement that it left me feeling jarred.

It's as Mk says, I have been marked by the gorilla and if thing ever gets out of the zoo, colour me dead. - updated on 4/14/2011.

Currently listening to: "Searching for Friends" by Nobuo Uematsu, from the Final Fantasy VI Original Soundtrack.


  1. cleeeck! the gorilla took a pic of you.


    - H1

  2. "Cleeeck" indeed. 'Cary!

    wv: vicees.

  3. The gorilla has camera eye.

    And you made me LOL @ the peacock asses. :D

    wv: reficir

    The blog is talking Spanish today...

  4. GK, I was going to mention that in the post too but it was not using camera eye effectively. I did not see any zoom functions. and thank goodness.

    Didn't you know? Animals are always showing me their asses. It's terrible.

    The blog is speaking some sort of Spanish and now it is some sort of hungry.

    WV: hamble


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