Taking it Personal

Remember a few months ago, I created a Square Enix Avatar?

Did you click? Do you remember little Zarnyx the Squeenix Avatar: Avenger of Nothing with Trusty Purple Sword and Red Demon Eyes?

No?

Already turned off from reading if you are not Beetchie and Bughie J.?

That's rather rude of you.

Let me just dust that dirt of my shoulder and continue with my upcoming tirade.

Here's Zarnyx the Squeenix Avatar.

 Exhibit A.  She's cute right?

If you will notice, she is at a Bronze Tier and has been for some time.

It's tough battling monsters when you're just so darned cute and your Maker sticks you in a cave to appease the crazy tales of her shistah, H1.

Before this post turns too nerd, let us discuss the nasty shock Zarnyx the Squeenix Avatar's Maker received today.

My dissatisfaction with Square has been building for some time now.  A list is in order, I feel:

1. The PS3 was bought many moons ago JUST to play FFXIII.  Many moons later, FFXIII is released.

2. FFXIII is announced for an N.A. release and it is revealed it is released not only on the PS3 but the Nemesis Xbouglygreenx as well.  Consider yourself slapped, Or 2!

3. Months of waiting for a special edition copy of the game amounted to months of false hope.  The discovery that for the N.A. release - all evil Microsoft Funding would mean that only the Xbouglygreenx will be issued any limited edition swag or attention.  Consider yourself slapped x 2, Or 2!

4. An Amazon exclusive allots me an excerpt of the strategy guide: an insult to my intelligence on how to utilize the internet, and an added insult to injury because 2 not-very-helpful page excerpts were provided.

5. ???

No. 5 is the thing most vile that happened when I received an important notice from Square Enix News/Members.

"Hurry!", the e-mail told me.  "The entry form to claim your prize is now available and you must submit it by April 14th to be eligible," it continued.

"The prizes for members are..."

Exhibit B.   ......

In case you missed the glaring mention, let me remind you again of my status:

 Exhibit C

...

.....wtf.

My only possible consolation is that I am okay with the reward for the Bronze Tier.  But then I think about how much I (don't) need an 8gb almost rotten piece of fruit FOR FREE at the Ultimate Tier and I realize how much I love Free when it's for me, and hate it when it's not.

Unlike Nintendo's Members program that clearly demonstrates what you should do to get swag, Square makes you dungeon crawl for information.

DUNGEON CRAWL.

...not that I know what that is, H1, I'm just saying.

So needless to say, I had no idea this was coming.

To make matters worse, let me add...

6. I wasted my effin' points registering FFXIII towards LAST YEAR'S Rewards Program.  It was a punishment because I did not dungeon crawl to find out that the year ended March 31st and started a fresh on April 1st.  I will direct your attention back to Exhibit C.  I registered FFXIII on March 28...unwittingly.

And thus the year starts with my being 50 points in the hole.

Now I have to go look at Exhibit D to see what I could get to contribute to next year's Ultimate Tier Reward.  I'm sure the 2010 reward will be not a damned thing I care about either.

Just wait and see.

Exhibit D.  A wasteland of products.  KH365/2 Days, maybe...
I hate you as much as you hate me, Squeenix!

P.S.: 

7. I get the Limited Edition postcards from the European release (probably) of FFXIII...as a stinking 'hand-me-down' bullshart reward.  The very ones they refused to package with a special edition N.A. release of FFXIII.

I'm considering myself "gil tossed" at this point, AND embarrassingly ded from that lowly attack.

Oh, my last line may have been the point of crossing 'too nerd'.

Sorry.